This post was going to be all about how we’ve barely even broken the rules (other than on 2 or 3 occasions) since ending our pledge….and then today my husband went to Subway for lunch. Yep Subway, as in the fast food restaurant that specializes in deli meat from who knows where? I have to admit I cringed when he told me this because I can’t say I was ever a big fan even before our real food pledge. He is out-of-town on business of course, and was both hungry and short on time (what else is new with his biz trips?). I guess since our pledge was over I thought I was off the hook for having to pack him food to bring along, but today I very much regretted that I didn’t do it anyway.
While he was off chowing down on a fast-food sandwich I was at home relishing every last bite of a super yummy “roll up”. I have come to be a little bit obsessed with these homemade whole-wheat tortillas and wrapping up everything I can in them (pictured is homemade hummus, cheddar cheese, and some local tomatoes). See the thing is…our real food pledge actually kind of spoiled us. When you eat wholesome, nutritious, flavorful, real food day in and day out you come to love it and want it (and expect it) for just about every meal. And eating real food all of the time can often make the other stuff taste pretty bad. My husband of course survived his little lunch escapade today, but to quote him he said “It was not good, but it was not disgusting”. I think I’ll pass on that.
So as it is turning out, at times, I am finding this post pledge transition to be even harder than the pledge itself. I feel like I am somewhere in “no man’s land” between following a definitive set of rules and now not knowing what we should do for each and every situation. For example, prior to our pledge I was a HUGE chocolate lover so I naturally bought a bar of dark chocolate the other day. It is still sitting in my pantry…UNopened. I promise you that this is an incredibly strange sight in our house. That bar wouldn’t have lasted more than 2 days in my “prior life”. I also tried buying some marshmallows that I thought our daughters could roast over our new fire pit…and I couldn’t even do it! I put them back on the shelf before leaving the store. Trust me when I tell you that this is very odd behavior for the “me” that I have known for 33 years prior to the last 3 months.
I went from having clear direction, goals, purpose (during our food pledge), to now not even having a clue as to what I am doing. My daughters will ask me if “they can have….” and I hate that I honestly don’t know if I should say yes or no. I truly had no idea that this part would be so hard. Maybe we should work on some “new rules” to use as family guidelines going forward or something. Just so we can be consistent on how often (and if and when) we eat the junk.
And since this is (as always) an honest account of our journey I should also mention the other side of me in all of this. I must admit that I am sometimes slightly envious of all the people standing eating the junk so carefree. Oh, how I love to feel carefree…about anything really. It may sound a little strange, but I occasionally miss the “old me” who with no conscience whatsoever would have truly enjoyed a piece of cake at a party, or a few bites of chocolate, or a white chocolate mocha, or some homemade chocolate chip cookies. This really is a difficult world we live in to constantly (and I mean constantly) be around all of this stuff. And I know that it would absolutely still be okay for us to indulge in these types of things again on occasion…I just never new it would be so hard for me to take the initial plunge back in!
If any other real food eaters have any advice for me out here in “no man’s land” I am all ears!