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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Hope says
Don't put so much pressure on children to eat "everything". For example, if dinner is meatballs, pasta and salad, and picky eater won't eat meatballs, that's fine. They get pasta, sauce and salad. No special orders, no extra add-ons. Eat what you eat, no big deal. Making it a big deal stresses everyone out, and accomplishes nothing. By ignoring the "pickiness", sometimes they try what they don't like on their own, anyway. And if not, so they have one dinner without enough protein. No big deal in the grand scheme of things.
Kim Blair says
We give fun names for the food. We call peas "green balls" and broccoli "trees," etc.
Jessica Hilt says
I'm interested to read the book. Some of the reviews I read say the author gives up once she returns to the United States. I also am curious what age this starts.
Lysep says
I have not read the book but I am French and would say... it starts as soon as you give food to your baby. If a baby doesn't like something the first time they try it, then try it again a few days later. Often, it's just the texture, not so much the taste and once they get used to the new texture, they discover the taste for what it is and enjoy it!
Lea Robertson says
Must try a bite at every meal.
Miranda says
My daughter has never been a picky eater (she'll try just about anything), but she has a tendency to be fussy and put herself in a food rut! My best tip is just to keep putting a variety of good stuff in front of her and over time I trust she'll learn to make good decisions!
Alaina says
I don't have any picky eater tips! That's why I need that book!! :)
Amanda says
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Amanda says
My picky eater trick is to only give a small helping what I know will be my daughter's favorite part of the meal (like fruit) and tell her when she asks for more to eat the rest of her meal and she can have more of her favorite item. Works like a charm... most of the time ;)
Ashley Farrar says
Our number one success with dealing with our daughter who has a sensory processing disorder which causes her to be picky because of oral defensiveness is to let her touch/play with her food. As our occupational therapist said to us, "Who would want to eat something if they're not allowed to touch it?" Makes for a messy meal time, but so worth it!
Sarah Shevlin says
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KC says
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Pamela says
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Juawana says
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Kimberly says
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Lindsay says
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Sarah Shevlin says
My picky eater tip would have to be the bite rule.
You can have as much of the meal as you like, but in order to get seconds on anything (except dessert) you have to have 1 bite of everything. Sometimes after the one bite, the munchkins decide they like the veggie, fruit, or otherwise decidedly unappetizing item and eat it there after with no problem. Doesn't work every time, but it's worked enough for us!!
Juawana says
We have a 2 bite rule - everyone must try 2 bites of everything. We've discovered about 5 foods we actually like that we didn't think we would this way!
Pamela says
I like to involve my kids in the process of growing, harvesting, and preparing of our food.
LisaC says
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KC says
Plan meals that can be "deconstructed". My son won't eat lasagna but will eat the cheese, sauce and pasta separately (not touching) - I just leave some to the side for him.
Michelle says
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Lindsay says
We talk about which foods are good for our bodies and why. I also ask everyone to try at least one bite of everything on their plate.
Kimberly says
I have a two year old who is often choosy about what she eats. One day, a friend simply said "I have stickers for kids that eat a no-thank-you bite of everything on their plate." She ate everthing! We only had to do it twice before she would try a no-thank-you bite of everything.
LisaC says
Our biggest challenge with our grandchildren is with the kids' menus when we go to restaurants. The choices are often so nutritionally poor, and every entree comes with fries. We let the kids pick their entree from the kids menu but we insist that fresh fruit be substituted for the fries (even if we have to pay extra, we'll do it).
Marisa says
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KatyG says
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Vanessa says
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Brittany says
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KatyG says
Sometimes my 3-1/2 year old gets turned off by how something looks, thinking she won't like leafy greens. Our trick is to have her close her eyes and try the food. We tell her she may like it, but just think she doesn't. After she closes her eyes and tries the food, she usually decides it's okay to eat. : )
Michelle says
I let my kids know they can choose the menu one night out of the week. So they look forward to that. They then don't do too bad with the other dinners. I also sometimes make lunch the "big" meal and give them a smaller dinner. They seem to eat more at lunch time.
Marisa says
My picky eater eats a bigger variety of fruit when I dehydrate it.
Vanessa says
Trick for picky eaters-'hiding' the problematic ingredient/food in another, well-liked food
Marisa says
So true!
Brittany says
Keep trying, don't stop offering the food just because your child didn't like it the first time. :)
Nicole LeBlanc says
Serve veggies with dips...hummus, etc!
Mary Beth says
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Mary Beth says
We give things like cereal different names. For example the more grown up cereals (which my 6 year old does eat) are called "Heart Healthy," healthier kids cereals are called "Muscle Building," and things like Lucky Charms are called "Treat Cereals" and my son understands that they are not for breakfast because they do not provide the kind of nutrition he needs to go through his day. He knows they are just for occasional snacks!
Tammy1409 says
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Tammy1409 says
Preparing "buffet style" meals (ex. tacos) where everyone can choose which combination of "extras" they like.
Brandy says
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Brandy says
I try to explain why we are eating certain things. For example, why is fruit better for a snack than chips. This seems to help with my picky eaters.