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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
tiffany says
like!
tiffany says
i've always taken my 4-year old son to the grocery with me. it's a special hanging out time for us where we talk about what we are going to cook/bake for the week and allows me to show him how to make healthy food choices around the store. we've had some interesting discussions about how advertisers use colors or images on their food packaging to make something look healthy or to catch kids attention. plus, he's more likely to eat something if he got the item off of the shelf or picked which broccoli (or whatever) he wanted.
Carrie T. says
Like!
Regan says
Like!
Carrie T. says
My best tip is that the whole family eats the same thing, and limit snacks so they are hungrier at meals! Also letting my 2.5 year old finicky eater help me make dinner gets him eating a little bit better.
Amanda Monopoli says
The biggest trick I have in getting her to eat is to let her help prepare the meal with me.
Ryan says
GET THEM INVOLVED! if they get in the kitchen and are apart of the process they are more likely to try it!
Christina says
Like
Misty G says
I've always used the "colors of the rainbow" to encourage variety :-) you're not gonna find many processed foods that are the colors of the rainbow.
also, I never speak negatively about a food that I do not like since I am the role model for my children and I have to set the example for them.
Christina says
I let them help make the grocery list and participate in cooking. Then they have to try at least one bite of each dish. They don't always like things at first, but usually by the 3rd separate time they've tried it they are asking for more.
Alecia Corbin says
LIKE!!!
Donna says
like :)
sarah houser says
i have already "liked" you on facebook!! =)
aubrea says
serve food in fun ways..."nibble trays", bento style, inside silicone wrappers, with the tiny animal shaped bento picks.
Alecia Corbin says
First, we have educated our children (ages 14, 9, 6, & 2 year old twins) on why we eat healthy. Then I believe firmly in just wearing them down. :)
They may not be excited about brussels sprouts, but I just keep serving them in different ways. I really can't name anything that my kids refuse to eat.
Lucy Peluso says
I'm already a fan on Facebook! "Like"
Melissa Payne says
We have a 2 bite rule in our house when it comes to new foods. You must take 2 bites and swallow both bites to really taste it and if you don't like it you don't have to eat it. By the 5th or 6th time that "new" food is served they are eating it without much complaining.
Tara says
Like!
Donna says
I serve dinner "family style", so everyone serves themselves however much they want, but they must put each choice on their plate. I got tired of food being wasted, so the "rule" is you take it, you eat it. So if you don't like carrots, you can take just a few and that is all you have to eat. I also make sure to include something that they each like, so no one goes hungry.
Amy Williams says
Like
melanie dew says
My kids have to take at least one bite of their food. Most of the time, after the first bite, they actually like what they are eating and will eat more.
Lucy Peluso says
Picky Eater Tip: Offer kids healthy foods when they are starving! They are much more likely to eat whatever you put in front of them when they are famished. :)
sarah houser says
Now I reallywant to read this book!!! My tip for picky eating is that what we put on the table is what there is to eat. Kids need to take at least one bite and then may say no thank you but they dont get other foods. We also dont keep junk food or processed foods around the house, that helps a lot too!
Janine Abramczyk says
Like!!!!
Tara says
Take as many bites as you are old!
Amy Williams says
Being a living example is the best way! When my kids see mom and dad eating broccoli and salads, they will want to too!
Marla says
I talk to my kids about healthy choices, 'sometimes' snacks (treats, 'junk', juice) and 'anytime' snacks (fruits, vegs, water etc)
Em says
Also, like
Amanda says
Like!
Janine Abramczyk says
Everyone always stays at the table to the last person is finished eating. This usually leads to my son, 6 yr old, eating because everyone else is.
Ande says
For some kids, strong-arming doesn't work. So the first thing I do is act quite enthused about what I'd secretly like them to try. I'll explain why I like it and what it tastes like, full of "Mmmmm this is SO GOOD" (and this works better if I mean it!).
Depending on how picky and stubborn they are, they generally must eat whatever they take, but they don't have to take much of anything. However, they must try everything, even if it's a tiny little bite. This will help expand their palate while still teaching them how to respect authority and try new things.
Although I don't like any kind of emotional eating, if you're showing them something new and weird, another method is to have a sort of competition between siblings. Who can try one of everything?
Lesli Joe says
For picky eaters (like I was), it always helped me if my mom would order Chinese food for me without the sauce. Then it was just veggies and rice. Then I could add a little bit of sauce and try it without having to each an entire plate full of something that had a sauce on it I didn't like. Now I love Chinese food.
Jami says
I like you on FB too
Heather says
I involve my picky eater in the process of cooking. He's much more apt to try something he can take pride in making.
Em says
I have a child with autism, one that is Deaf and has neurological problems and one with CP. I don't think french kids with these issues eat everything either. BUT, compared to others in my situation, we do pretty well, I suppose.
The big thing is no seconds on anything until you clear your plate. You don't have to clean it, you can leave hungry, but if you don't eat your broccoli, you don't get more pizza...or whatever I served.
Another rule I follow is I don't keep any junk in the house. Period. My kids enjoy natural treats. I make smiley faces out of rice cakes with peanut butter and fruit. I arrange things in a fun way.
Also, like another poster said, easily customizable meals are my best friend.
And, at the end of the day, I forgive myself. No one is going to get everything every day.
(Please, don't tell me about your aunt's best friend's daughter's llama's son who was cured of autism by eating right... we have tried it all and real food has helped him get to the best place he has ever been)
Shannon Tafoya says
My 13 month old is fairly picky, but actually even at her age having her help in the kitchen when I am cooking and sneaking her bits of the ingredients as I go tends to help her more excited about the finished product. She's a work in progress, though! We'd LOVE to read this book.
Amanda Lauderman says
The thing that has worked best for us and our picky 7 yr old daughter is we tell her she has to eat at least half and if she only eats half no snack before bed. There are certain things we eat that I know she really doesn't like so I make exceptions for those meals.
kori says
I always tell my kids if they will try something and they don't like it they can spit it out....and they almost always end up liking new things and they're never afraid to try things. As a result they are less picky than me. :-) can't wait to read this book.
Katie Kent says
Patience and persistence... My younger son would only eat bread and cheese for an entire year! I just offered him other foods at dinner time and tried not to stress out about it when he didn't eat beyond a bite or two. Now he's 8 and eats all kinds of good food.
Jami says
For my extremely picky three year old I made a chart with a bunch of different fruits and then a happy or sad face next to it. He had to at least take 1 bite of each fruit and then circle the happy or sad face. He thought this was a ton of fun and even though he only circled two new fruits we at least have two more healthy things that he won't turn his nose up at. I think if I do this same "game" every few weeks we can add more and more healthy foods that he is excited about eating. I've heard that sometimes you have to taste something a few times sometimes before you like it so here's hoping this will pay off!