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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Katie says
I am a firm believer in division of responsibility in eating. I as parent am responsible for what and when the children eat, they are responsible for how much and if they eat. They won't starve. And they will come to like healthy foods that the rest of the family eats!
Janine Burns says
Like, like, like!
Jane D. says
Like
Jane D. says
Setting the example and never give up encouraging my picky eater. I also think it's important to talk about why we eat what we eat. Would love to read this book!
Heather R says
liked
Heather R says
We ask that our children take a decent bite of everything. We also say 'Well, this is what is for dinner. If you don't want it feel free to wait until breakfast and see if you like that better.' They rarely take us up on that. We got that tip out of Parenting with Love and Logic.
Jessica says
liked
Kelly says
We have an "I tried it! " and we right down any new item and then make an up arrow or down arrow depending on if we liked it or not. It works really well with my younger daughter who is a little more adventurous and for my older daughter it sometimes tips the scale for her to try things. I would love to read this book!
Laura says
Best picky eater tip: sit your child at the table with an empty plate in front of them and all the food dishes in the middle of the table. Load up your own plates and leave your child's empty. Then just start enjoying your meal. Your child will watch all this and start pointing and asking for things to eat.
Holly says
The best tips I have learned about picky eaters are to let them help you cook which makes them excited to taste what they "made" and to make food fun. Kids enjoy dipping and fun colors and shapes which can be done with veggies, fruits, proteins, whole wheats, etc.
Lindsay says
Like
Barbara says
My son has to at least try the food instead of instantly disliking it before he even try's it. It's hard but we have instituted the rule that he has to eat what we eat. No special meals.
Jessica says
Dont have junk around that the picky eater would want
Shirin says
like!
Brandi J says
"like"
Lindsay says
My picky eater has to try one bite of everything - every time. They may not have liked something six months ago but if they don't try it again they won't know if their taste buds have changed.
Brandi J says
Not snacking has really helped my picky eater! If he's hungry he's more likely to try something!
Shirin says
This is a huge challenge for us but I feel inspired to stick with it this time as school begins. I feel it's so important to have joy in eating interesting, real food.
My tip that I find helpful is to remind them of a food that they initally turned their nose up at but now love in order to convince them to try something new... "you never know, it may be your new favorite like when you tried __________"
Mindy says
Like you on FB. :)
Mindy says
Picky eaters must eat at least 3 bites.
Janet Abdoulaye says
Like
Janet says
My success has come in learning that my son is highly allergic to six different foods. Once I knew this, and eliminated all allergens from his meals, he gradually became more willing to try new foods because they no longer bothered him/made him sick.
Kelly says
I have a very picky eater with a myriad of food sensitivities so this book would be awesome. I find that some of his pickiness is textural....so we juice a lot and add to applesauce, so he still gets the veggie flavor and when he's ready for the texture, he is already used to the flavor and embraces it more.
Amy says
We tell our kids they have to try a new food on five separate occasions. If they still don't like it after that, they don't have to try it again. Most of the time, they decide they like it after a few tries.
Amy says
My picky eater at least has try a bite!
DianeKay says
When the kids were little and we introduced a new food, primarily a vegetable i.e. peas - they had to eat the number of peas to correspond with their age. (6 year old eats 6 peas).
Kristen says
FB fan like
Kristen says
I puree vegetables and add them to dishes the first few times without telling anyone. Then when they request the dish I'll reveal what they've been eating all along. Sometimes helps them to break out of their stubborness to try new things.
Carrie says
I am a preschool teacher and always have lots of picky eaters at the beginning of the year. Just like number six, I have them taste the foods even if they may not like it. Most of the time they end up liking it and always ask for more. During a food training the instructor told us it can take up to 40 times of tasting a food to like it. I found this interesting so decided to try it with cucumbers (absolutely hated even the smell of them). I started small like in salads, wraps, etc. Now I pack cucumbers for a snack weekly. Definantely worth a try.
Heather says
My first baby just started eating solid foods, so I haven't had experience with a picky eater yet.
Kelly H says
Like
Rosanne says
Dinner at our house means no other options available. If you don't like it and have tried it, there is usually enough variety that you can find something you like and fill up on that.
Kelly H says
I've been asking my pickiest eater to lick the foods (mainly veggies) that she doesn't like. She's finally started to like broccoli because of this! Now on to cooked carrots....
Shirin says
I'm glad to hear the one 'bite' rule has worked for you with licking. I cannot figure out how to enforce a one bite rule without making meals too stressful but my kids will lick foods (and even put in their mouths) they aren't sure about. But they then spit them out if they don't like them. After reading this I feel like there's hope yet!
Curious what others do to 'enforce' the one bite rule...
Heather says
Fan on facebook. Definite like!
Janis says
I make sure my daughter tries everything at least once and if she doesn't want to eat it, I won't push it.
Karen G says
Like
Nicole Eagle says
When I notice my 3&4 year old not wanting to eat what's on thier plate, I make it into a contest!! "look Eli, Ethan has eaten more of his carrots than you! Oh no, you not gonna let him beat you are you?" works like a charm. Works with most everything in the house... Brushing teeth, picking up toys, etc.
WindsoreW says
Like!
Karen G says
I would have to say being patient and flexible. When I cook new foods or foods my kids have had before in a new way, I always ask them to try a bite. Even if they think they don't like the food, I want them to see that it can taste different depending on how or with what it is cooked. I am always looking for ways to improve the taste of things I would like them to eat. If they still do not like it, I will let them choose a healthy alternative and we try again another time. This has worked with a few things, and hopefully as they grow up their palettes will have acquired a taste for foods they previously did not like.
WindsoreW says
My picky eater has to try a small bite of everything before she can have seconds.