The subject of picky eaters is certainly not a new one around here. But after hearing feedback from readers it occurred to me that not everyone is dealing with the same level of pickiness. Some readers have said their child will eat no more than 5 different foods or literally vomit at the table when attempting to try something new. Other kids are picky, but maybe their lack of adventure at the dinner table is because they aren’t being exposed to different foods often enough. After consulting with a couple of occupational therapists I’ve learned that parents are likely dealing with two different issues: picky eaters vs. problem feeders. And for some who have a “problem feeder” on their hands, intervention might be the only answer.
A big thank you to Occupational Therapist Susan L. Roberts (referred to me by a friend) for providing the following information, which will hopefully help clear things up for some of you!
Picky Eater vs. Problem Feeder
Information courtesy of Susan L. Roberts, MDiv, OTR/L
- Is the number of foods your child eats getting longer or shorter? All children go on eating jags where they ask for one food all the time and then don’t want it at all. Picky eaters will go back to that food again after a while so over time their food repertoire expands. Problem feeders never eat the food again so they slowly whittle away at acceptable foods until the list includes less than 10 or 20 foods. It’s important for a child to eat a balanced diet consisting of at least 30 – 40 different foods.
- Can your child tolerate watching others eat a food he or she doesn’t like? Picky eaters don’t mind as long as they don’t have to eat that food. Problem eaters will gag or even vomit just watching others eat a food they don’t like. (Caution: sometimes this behavior grows out of forcing a child to “try” a food they don’t want.)
- What’s coming out after meals? Children with food sensitivities or gastrointestinal problems don’t retain food long enough to digest it. This means frequent messy diapers and trips to the toilet. Chronic diarrhea warrants medical investigation. So does chronic constipation. Both these conditions usually get better with a more varied and healthy diet.
Possible Culprits for Meal Time Blues
Information courtesy of Susan L. Roberts, MDiv, OTR/L
- Force feeding or asking a child to eat, taste or try a food they don’t want can create super-cautious or resistant behaviors that often get worse over time. It’s your child’s body, give them control over it. Letting children explore food on their own terms leads to better eating (and happier mealtimes).
- Food sensitivities or allergies may go undetected in young children. If you’ve ever experienced the symptoms of an allergic reaction (intense itching, shortness of breath) or sensitivity (stomach distress) you can imagine how these experiences would make a child cautious about food exploration. It’s often hard to identify the food culprit(s) so as a result many children respond with global food refusals. It’s worthwhile to have food sensitivities checked out medically and/or work with a nutritionist or dietician who understands food sensitivities and how to resolve them.
- Problems with coordination of breathing and swallowing can also lead to cautious food exploration. Most new eaters take a while to get these rhythms down so babies and toddlers often gag, choke and even vomit in their beginning explorations of solid foods. It’s OK for these experiences to happen but if they persist or a child begins more global food refusals get your pediatrician to recommend a “swallow study.”
- Sensory processing disorders make it hard for children to explore foods because they have extreme reactions to texture, smells, tastes and the sound of foods being chewed (by themselves or others). Often these children will also seek out or avoid sensory experiences in play. They may want to swing, spin or crash around all day or stay glued to a video device or other type of quiet play. Occupational therapists can help you figure out if your child has problems with sensory processing.
- Gastrointestinal inflammation such as irritable bowel syndrome or reflux can also make eating unpleasant for a child. Signs of GI inflammation can be seen as ulcers in the mouth or diaper rash around the anus. Diarrhea and constipation can signal GI inflammation. Children who exhibit frequent head banging, tantrums for no discernible reason, hanging upside down, and putting pressure on the abdomen all the time may have GI inflammation. Have your pediatrician or a pediatric gastroenterologist examine your child and give you an opinion about whether more testing is needed.
- Mouth breathing and nutritional deficiencies can affect a child’s ability to taste food. If food doesn’t taste good we usually don’t want to eat it. Talk about these possibilities with your pediatrician.
Picky Eater Advice from the Occupational Therapist
Information courtesy of Susan L. Roberts, MDiv, OTR/L
- STOP asking your child to eat, taste or try foods. In fact, STOP talking about food at all. Let your child explore foods on his or her own terms and at his or her own pace. This means looking, touching, smelling, tasting, and refusing. This may seem counter-intuitive, but research shows that healthy eating habits come when children have control over what they put in their mouth.
- Always sit with your child any time they eat. Food and eating have been about sharing comfort throughout history. Don’t mess with a winning strategy. Children who eat with their parents get better grades as well as have less teen pregnancy, drug use, and eating disorders.
- Take control of the menu. That’s your job as an adult. DON’T ask a child what they want – serve them what you know they need. At every meal or snack they need a protein, fat, and carbohydrate (in the form of fruits, vegetables and whole grains).
- Always provide at least ONE food you know your child likes and serve enough for them to fill up if they choose to eat only that one food. I know this means they may only eat crackers or bread for a while, but eventually they will try other foods IF you let them explore at their own pace, and provide plenty of other choices.
- NEVER cater to a picky eater, it just prolongs picky eating. If a child says they don’t like a food – keep serving it on a regular basis. Serve what the family enjoys and let the picky eater accommodate to the family’s tastes.
Be sure to check out our 100 Days of Real Food Picky Eater Tips as well and share any additional advice in the comments.
What a great resource this site is. And how serendipitous to have this post pop up on my FB as we are dealing with a problem eater (8 year old girl) that is complicated by a severe fear of throwing up. She is so scared of vomiting, she is scared to eat and constantly says her tummy hurts. We have done blood and stool tests and everything has come back normal. Constipation seems to be the main culprit. Her diet is terrible (she has gone backwards on her range of foods she will eat) so that obviously contributes to the constipation. It is an endless cycle of anxiety and tummy pain, that exacerbate each other. I relate to the parents who have spent “thousands” on therapy to no avail. We just started with a psychiatrist who specializes in eating disorders but I don’t know if she is the right person. I will be doing some research on the various techniques mentioned in these posts – thank you so much!
Probiotics, probiotics, probiotics! We had a similar problem with my daughter. We got her on probiotics and the constipation resolved and she started eating better. She may need acid reducing too, but probiotics were a godsend in my home.
Zoe, I had the same phobia and resulting problem as a child and no doubt put my parents through the ringer. Keys for me were finding a food I liked that was full of fiber – for me it was a bran-based muffin. And secondly it was finding a way of easing my anxiety – the one therapist that helped me taught me to deal with situations that were causing me stress by visualizing the event in the best way possible, but also in the worst way possible. A “whats the best thing that can happen vs the worst thing that can happen” exercise. Time teaches that the worst thing rarely, if ever, happens. And while I had to accept that a lot of elements were outside my control, I did have more control then I thought at making the best thing happen. Tell your daughter she won’t feel this way forever, and best of luck to you all.
Thanks so much for posting this. My two year old is extremely picky and will not eat meat or vegetables. It is interesting to get some more information. We live in a country where we would not be able to see an occupational therapist, but, the information here is certainly helpful. I think that my son has some sensory issues when it comes to eating. We will see if he outgrows this. Thanks for posting.
Find the book “The Out Of Sync Child” by Carol Stock Kranowitz. It will help you to discover more specifically identify which sensory issues your child may have, AND methods of how to teach your child to cope with those issues to minimise their adverse affect on him. Some kids don’t “grow out” and even if he does right now it would be nice for him to have some coping techniques. Good luck
Shallon’s suggestion is good. “The Out of Sync Child” is a fantastic resource. I have children at either end of the sensory spectrum and it helped for both. I have two problem feeders and a picky eater. I try to make meals fun.
my son has autism. and will be 4 in August. he has never touched, picked up or eaten 1 piece of fruit or single veggie. Motts fruit cups are the only way I can get fruit into him. and any veggie in mashed potatoes are my only means of getting them into him. I am not able to leave veggies chunky/whole in the mashed potatoes. although I am getting to my breaking point. Making food fun, delicious, and something he will eat is problematic. these trends have now been pasted onto my youngest who will be 2 in April. I am having no luck with many of the suggestions I have read.
Hi Nisha. This was an earlier post: http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2011/09/09/real-food-tips-12-ways-to-deal-with-a-picky-eater/ Maybe you will find something helpful. Also, be sure to read through all the comments that follow. Often, you can find people with very similar experiences. ~Amy
Nisha, check out the Deceptively Delicious book by Jessica Seinfeld. She has recipes for using pureed veggies and sneaking them into other foods. Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food
I have 3 typical picky eaters, ages 4, 4, and 2. I have always offered a wide variety of foods and as young toddlers, they all ate everything but as they get older, they eat less and less variety (and amounts, it would seem). I struggle with not making it a battle because I know I won’t win but its hard to know what the right thing to do is. In Susan’s advice for picky eaters, #4 says to give them something they like at every meal but #5 says not to cater to them. That seems to be opposite advice to me, especially when you have kids who eat few things.
From what I’ve read and heard is to always offer at least one new item (or something they don’t like) in a very small serving in a separate little bowl or ramican near them but not right next to their plate and one item you know they’ll like on their dinner plate. Then just see if theyll at least try it They say it takes trying a food 8-14 times for a child or even an adult to acquire a taste for a food they don’t like.
I’ll try the off to the side idea. However, the “trying a food 8-14 times” thing baffles me because my kids will usually not try it once and certainly not twice or 8 or 14 times.
Not to cater means don’t make 1 child Mac n cheese with broccoli, the 2nd a PBJ with cheese slices, and the 3rd fish with fries. Instead make a meal you like (enchaladas with green salad) and additionally have a food they will eat (bread and butter). This way there is a familiar food they can fill up on, but also you are not catering to them. This works really well when eating “family style,” starting with empty plate and food in serving dishes.
I guess I was avoiding that because if gave them the familiar food option (not that all the food i serve isn’t familiar, they just refuse it), I feel like that’s all they would eat. What’s the point of cooking a nice meal if I’m the only one eating it? I know these things take a long time but I have been doing this since forever and somewhere around 18-24 months, they started getting picky and have stopped trying new things and started refusing things they once likes. That was over two years ago.
I would suggest reading up on the topic. I really do like the Ellyn Satter books. When my son doesn’t want what I made, I tell him that’s it until the next meal time. Then he’ll eat something. Remember to look at a well rounded kids diet over the course of a week, not in one meal or in one day. So if your kids eat only bread for a few meals it will not hurt them, and they will most likely start to branch out after a few days.
As far as the “kids try a food 8 times” thing, it isn’t trying it so much as being exposed to it. My son is a classic textbook example: Time 1-3 he refuses it, time 4-5 he puts some on his plate, time 6 he sticks a finger in it, time 7 he takes a tiny bite, then gobbles it down. Then it is hit and miss as to whether or not he will eat it again.
After reading the Satter books, we have been talking about eating and trying new foods less. We still bring up the subject, but keep it brief and let it pass on the child’s terms. We push less, yet expose more, and it’s getting better.
I guess in the end, make a single meal, which is what you want to eat, but contains a small variety of foods so that there is something everyone will enjoy and be exposed to. The Satter books go into how to do this as well.
agree!
I have a two year old vegetarian that will eat any fruit, dried or fresh but limited ammount of veggi’s. She will not eat anything she does not reconize!
Thank you for this! I have a problem feeder. It gets so tiresome to have others tell you he is just picky, he will eat when he is hungry, ect. My son will go hungry. His list of foods was getting shorter. For us this started around 6 mo. I finally found a feeding disorder clinic and we have been driving 90 minutes one way 2x a month and it is making a difference! He sees an OT, nutritionist, and psychologist and they all only work with feeding disorders.
Wonderful post! I’m dealing with a picky eater and was doing most of her reccommendations without realizing it. I was offering up a “taste” of things he isn’t very fond of simply because I was NOT going to turn into a short-order cook. He still can’t stand broccoli, but he’s at least eating the one piece I put in the tasting cup without arguing about it. He’s 6 and my third…you’d think I’d have this “feeding the kids” think down by now! My 13 and 10yo girls will eat just about anything I put in front of them. And may I second the probiotics suggestion? We are firm believers in that suppliment, in addition to many others.
Thanks again for the post!
Exactly what I needed to hear I have a household of picky eaters and they can be very discouraging. I liked the idea of letting go of control and allowing them to explore at their own will. Also having one food at the dinner table they like to fill up on. Thanks
Great post. My almost 3 year old used to be a problem feeder. It got to the point that he would not eat any solid food at all. I was giving him Instant Breakfast (which now makes me cringe because we now only eat real food). We also tried smoothies but sometimes he would refuse them. It was scary because he’s a preemie who is already underweight. Finally we realized it was reflux. Everything he ate was coming back up so he had gotten scared to eat because it was painful. First we cut out some trigger foods (mainly milk). But the biggest thing that made a difference was your website. We made the switch to only real food and he is now a phenomenal eater.
Thank you for this. I’ve been struggling with how to deal with a picky eater and some of my concerns have been addressed with the article above. Time to start serving food and letting her pick on her own… and going back to sitting with her at the table, even if my husband chooses not to sit with us. Thanks!
Oh, your husband won’t sit with you either? I wonder if this is common – he wants to sit on the couch and watch TV when we’re eating – I don’t think it helps develop good mealtime habits. Frustrating right?
Great article! My 4yr old has pretty severe food allergies to nuts, milk, and eggs. She also has some sensitivities to wheat and soy. So that pretty much leaves us with rice, oats, meat, fruits, and vegetables. Well, the problem is she refuses to try new foods and if I add them to her meal to introduce she will run from the table and not eat anything. So currently I have been giving her only ground turkey cooked with herbs like basil and oregano with brown rice. She will eat an apple occasionally but that’s very rare for her. She enjoys eating potato chips for a snack (I really want to stop giving her these) and she drinks lots of rice milk. I pray that she will begin to try new things. What can I do to help her? She has had severe allergic reactions in the past which I am sure is the cause for her cautiousness about what she eats.
Natalia – I have an 8 year old son with severe allergies to milk and eggs. He too refuses to try new foods – had gaggged/thrown up when he doesn’t like the smell of something (roast chicken!!!) etc;
We have had one mistake where he ingested milk at age 4 and I had to use the epi-pen. So “food fears” as I call them in my head are very present. Here is my new tack and I am guessing it will all just take time:
1. I bought a mini fridge and all dairy and egg products go in that. The big family fridge is free of his allergens. I am hoping this visual reminder to him will show that there is ALOT he can eat!
2. I try to do family dinners as often as I can and they are always dairy and egg free and I explained to him that everything served will be safe and he can try if he would like. NO pressure. I do cook him his Weaver chicken nuggets (ugh) but a range of food is at least presented to him! He now eats broccoli because of this – and baby spinach salad
The victories are few and far between but I think it takes TIME. And I almost cry at the table when he tries something. But I will be honest it is VERY rare that he does.
3. Talk to your child about their fears. This website has been an amazing resource to me as has http://theallergistmom.com/ She has a great insight as both a mom AND a doctor who specializes in food allergies. This article in particular rocked my soul:
http://theallergistmom.com/2012/10/15/food-allergy-death-talk/
In addition you might want to consider an outside therapist. My son refers to his as his “worry doctor”
4. Just be the great mom that you already are – your child’s advocate and center of unconditional love.
Best of luck -
Dana,
Thanks so much for your advice, encouragement, and resources! It’s great to get advice from another mom who understands how challenging food allergies can be for young children. I definitely think its time for us to look into getting more help with this issue. The doctors seem to brush it off. But I feel like we need to start changing this behavior. I like the idea of putting the food in a separate container so that I can introduce new things and also I think I am going to make more “allergy-friendly” dinners so that she sees us all eating the same thing. But I honestly I easily become discouraged when she doesn’t try things that are safe but you reminded me to just keep on trying. Thanks again! God Bless!!
-Natalia
My daughter has EE and is allergic is soy and rye. Before we got her diagnosis eating made her belly hurt. She would only eat just a few foods. Now that we have her food allergies under control her throat and stomach inflammation is gone.
I make 99% of my meals safe for her. I feel like she has enough exposure outside of the home with food that she cannot eat (school, relatives houses, friends houses, birthday parties, etc.) So I make a point of making sure that everything I make is safe for her. I have found that with time she is trying new foods and eating a more diverse diet. It has been a slow process but one that works.
Hi Natalia. You may also be interested in some of our other posts on picky eaters…http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2011/09/09/real-food-tips-12-ways-to-deal-with-a-picky-eater/, http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2010/08/19/winning-over-your-picky-eater/ and http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2012/06/04/why-are-kids-so-picky/. Best of luck to you. Jill
My now 28 month old was very slow to jump on the food wagon. He refused all pureed foods (we started at 6 months.) After a couple months of trying we started giving him small pieces of our table foods. When he started accepting those, he would chew/gum them and then spit them out. I don’t think even a quarter of what went in his mouth actually was swallowed. He finally started actually eating (and swallowing) real foods at 14-15 months. This whole time he was still nursing so I wasn’t worried about his nutritional input at all. He now eats a variety of foods, although it could always be better. We encourage a taste of a new food, but don’t force the issue. He always gets some of what we are eating on his plate. Recently he’s started eating foods he wouldn’t previously touch. He also will sometimes eat foods with me for lunch that he wouldn’t touch the previous evening for dinner. He does snack throughout the day (I think it’s necessary for him at his age) but I make sure they are healthy options (fruit, cheese, yogurt, green smoothie, homemade muffin.)
I know there are certain foods that I dislike due to texture and I refuse to make the dinner table a battle ground. It’s my responsibility to provide good healthy foods and it’s his responsibility (barring medical problems) to feed himself.
Thank You for taking the time to provide such useful information on this topic. I have 2 pick eaters (7&4). I am ashamed to say that it is probably 98% my fault!
I own that I am the parent. It’s up to me to teach them how to eat. & as of now I have completely FAILED!!
I am lucky enough to have a super supportive husband by my side.
My goal for 2013 is to have a Non Processed home!! Wish me Luck!!
Hi Shannon. Best of luck in 2013. Don’t be so hard on yourself – we all do the best we can! Maybe check out the mini pledges to help you guys ease into things…http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/100-days-of-mini-pledges/. Jill
For those with allergies with eggs and dairy, try a whole food plant based diet. Look up Julieanna Hever, the plant based dietitian. She wrote the idiot’s guide to a plant based diet. Also, watch Chef AJ and the dietitian on you tube. They have some great alternatives to some recipes.
A few years ago I read a blog post (that I can’t find now) by a blogger whose kids were both picky and one was a problem feeder. She was frustrated and wrote about how children in other parts of the world pretty much eat what their parents do without question (she had knowledge in this that most of us don’t).
After reading “French Kids Eat Everything” and “Outside the Box: Why Our Children Need Real Food, Not Food Products” by Jeannie Marshall, I can’t help but wonder if some of the picky eating we deal with isn’t caused by what we start feeding our kids. Americans typically give their children bland (rice cereal) or sweet (fruit) foods as their first foods. When we start giving them more savory foods, we either under season them or don’t season them at all. And we assume that they aren’t going to like foods with stronger tastes.
The French, Italians and others start their children on the more savory foods, seasoned much as the rest of the family will eat. Essentially, they start eating food that tastes good. In cultures where the food is quite spicy or highly seasoned — that’s what the kids eat. It may be toned down a little for them, but it’s certainly not bland.
Jeannie Marshall wrote about how Italians feed their babies here: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/too-good-to-spit-up/article48272/
Helene Garcia, who wrote a guest blog on karenlebillon.com, writes about feeding her young son here: http://frenchfoodiebaby.blogspot.com/
According to the IDEFICS-study Italian kids are the fattest amongst eight European countries tested;-) It seems that Sweden is the new Italy with a close to “mediterranean diet”.
Anyway, what distinguishes Italian and other European parents from North American parents is less of a focus on the eating habits of their kids. Today I asked my daycare provider (we are in Austria) how many kids there are with food allergies or food sensitivities and she said she is not aware of a single one (amongst 90 kids). Terms like “picky eater” or “problem feeder” are barely known here. I am sure there are picky eaters, but parents do not make a big fuss about it. Maybe it is just time to lighten up a bit, stop counting your kid’s food items (that is crazy), stop blogging about how you feed your kids, and enjoy your meals instead.
BTW, THE Italian food for babies is Plasmon Biscuits. It is frequently the first solid the babies get introduced to, often diluted in a bottle with milk/formula.
I’ve read previously about the decreased incidence of food intolerances and allergies and even strong dislikes in other parts of the world.
I’m 60+ and I remember extremely few people having food intolerances, allergies or dislikes until about 30 years ago — when my kids were young.
I do think there’s something about our food supply (processed/manufactured foods) that increases the likelihood of allergies and intolerances. Unfortunately, as our way of eating becomes more globalized, the problems that go with it will also become globalized.
While I do remember processed foods in our diet when I was growing up, there weren’t nearly as many of them and I think they were of better quality/less processed than they are now. Food didn’t taste like chemicals.
Thanks for the post! I have a picky eater, and it drives me nuts! I will try to chill out and keep offering a wide variety of choices, then let her eat at her own pace.
Has anyone had success switching their offerings to much, much simpler foods? Like deconstructed meals? I have avoided this because I feel if I did that, my pickiest eater would always just pick out the cheese/bread/fruit (not that those are so unhealthy, its just not contributing to the variety in his diet) but when I make something where its all mixed up (casseroles, enchiladas, stews, etc.), he/they often just eat nothing, drink their very small glass of milk and say they aren’t hungry. Maybe its better to serve them the components of a meal separately then to actually prepare and serve them together?
You can hardly separate casseroles or stews. I normally serve meals as deconstructed as possible, for the main reason that I prefer them that way. If there is a certain ingredient they (kids, guests, I) absolutely hate, I just don’t put it in. And yes, my “picky eater” just eats the one or two components she likes best, but I do not care about it. She separates the ingredients she doesn’t like from more complex meals or just refuses the meal entirely. They should develop a good sense for taste and food and I do not see a point in slipping under presumably healthy ingredients by mixing them up or hiding them in smoothies. Do your kids help you cooking? I have noticed with my picky eater, that she loves to eat raw veggies while I am cutting them, but would not touch them once they are cooked and later sticks with plain rice/pasta.
Many kids don’t like “mixed up” foods (at least not the first exposure to it). I’ll serve 3 or 4 items in addition (at least), Like in addition to enchaladas I have cheese, empty tortillas, maybe some of the filling in a bowl, salad with many veggies, cut fruit, and corn. I will let my kids pick the veggies they want out of the salad. My thought is I will make one meal, but they can eat the parts they want.
I will serve pasta with sauce to the side, and sometimes the browned beef to the side. Takes little effort on my part, but then the kids might eat a lot of the beef and pasta and non of the sauce. Much better meal than just pasta.
I will also make an effort (sometimes) to make things fun for them. Like slicing carrots to make really long thin carrot sticks or arranging the food on the plate into face (although we usually serve family style). In addition to help like Critical Reader suggests, I have found letting the kids serve themselves helps. They can put as much or as little as they want on their plate, and even have a chance to pick through to get only the items they want out of the dish. It does take a bit of time to help the kids to moderate their own servings (it’s so fun to scoop) but they figure it out.
I generally serve the actually meal and then maybe a component of it so that I can say “that is in the enchelada” to use an example. Cheese is big in our house. i know that everyone will eat cheddar and some other cheeses, so it often accompanies meals that are mixed foods. I still serve the mixed foods so they are exposed to it. just in very small quantities.
My daughter was diagnosed with Eosinophilic Esophagitis at age 3. EE is a delayed allergic reaction to food that causes inflammation of the esophagus. Her only symptom was being a ‘picky eater’. Slowly she reduced the number of foods she would eat. At first we attributed this to age but it turned out to be that eating made her belly hurt. Now at age 5 she eats a much broader diet and is more willing to try new foods.
I was just wondering if anybody else is dealing with a divided family. Tonight, our little guy said he would rather be at his mom’s because she had cool snacks. It breaks my heart but I’m not backing down on teaching them the healthy habits that I did not learn as a child. Any suggestions on how to handle these kinds of situations would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!!
Having at least one problem feeder and a picky eater and one we haven’t determined the extent of yet, we have a complicated house for dinner. I have simplified it. When I have the main meal ready, I will give my two younger ones a very small portion of everything that we are having; like a teaspoon or less. Then I give them something I know they will eat; usually a fruit. I do not give them enough to fill them up because I want them to feel hungry so they know that if they choose not to eat what everyone else is eating, that they will feel hungry. I have a very good reason for this. Eli Weisel wrote a book called “Night.” Some people may have heard about it. It is about his experiences in Auschwitz. What I took away from this book was a description of his eating. When he first gets there, he refuses to eat the food, then after a few days, he chokes down a little bit of it. By the end of the week, he is eating it with gusto. What this tells me is that we give our children too much access to too many foods, particularly unhealthy ones. If our children never learn what it feels like to be hungry, it is detrimental to them. I think that children need to learn that feeling, just like they need to learn what being full feels like so they can recognize when their body is done eating. Some children do have trouble with this as they do not have a shut off valve.
I’m not saying this from just a mother’s standpoint. My background is education and psychology. I have seen and tested a lot of methods of trying to get kids to eat. I also had a father who as an adult would not eat rice because of it’s texture. He also would not eat butter, preferring margarine. My problem feeder is my oldest who is nearly 18. A couple of years ago, she took charge of her eating. She is slowly trying new foods at times that she has a low enough stress level as she also has Aspergers and sensory issues in her mouth that even make going to the dentist very difficult. She started her eating problems at time when there was no literature on eating under the age of 2 (she was 15 months) And yes, I have tried everything. So she is in charge now and makes her own choices. She tries to eat healthy, but she has not eaten a vegetable since the last time she tried peas and was eating them as though they were pills to be swallowed. Hiding veggies in foods only worked some as she somehow discovered them. Any hint of green is a bad thing for her.
Yes, sometimes it takes a therapist and some real serious patience to handle eating issues.
Thanks for sharing. I have learned by trial and error that continuing to serve something (whether they leave it the first few times or not) is a good strategy.
New = scary so the more familiar it looks, the more appealing the idea of trying it is.
Up above I wrote that children in other parts of the world eat what their parents do and pretty much without being fussy or picky. I stumbled across this post the other day: http://thecommonroomblog.com/2010/04/the-growing-family-beats-the-incredible-shrinking-dollar.html
Even though food prices are going up, we spend a smaller percentage of our income on food than people in other parts of the world — and less even than our parents and grandparents did. Most people can’t afford to accommodate pickiness. Perhaps the more you can afford to accommodate pickiness, the more it’s accommodated.
This is a great article and I enjoyed reading and felt I learned something. In our situation not only do we have a picky eater but she is also “failure to thrive” and seeing a specialist. It’s frustrating to try and give her real foods and be told those aren’t enough to help her gain the weight. She is on Pediasure to boost the caloric intake, which we hate because we know it’s not Real at all! In all of this she does love only whole wheat products as far as her pastas and breads and she eats most fruits and veggies fresh (not big on cooked) and nuts. No meats, no sauces, no mixtures. AHHH! Anyway just wanted to say there is a 3rd cat to this, picky eaters who need food. Any advice we will happily take it to get her to eat more and better (heavy calorie) foods! I’d love to get rid of the Pediasure!
Hi Crysti. I had one of mine who wasn’t gaining weight. Our pediatrician also suggested Pediasure. We opted to do smoothies instead packed with healthy, yet, higher calorie items. This one proved to be my sons favorite…http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2010/06/11/recipe-pbj-smoothie/. I made them for him all of the time and they really did help him to put on some weight. I would say to try and get creative and see if there are things like this that he’ll eat. Best of luck to you. Jill
Thanks for this post! It’s nice for people to know that a “problem feeder” is actually a legitimate problem and that the child is not simply “spoiled” or “picky”.