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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Anita says
Like
Julie says
Picky eater tip: leading by example, and talking about how good it is. If all else fails, I hide spinach in their food. Lol!
Sheri says
LIKE!
Jessica T says
Best picky eater tip: hide the good stuff and don't say a word! (like greens in smoothies, cauliflower mixed in other foods, etc) My son is a HUGE picky eater. He was doing better until we decided to start eating more real food. Now he's Mr. Picky Pants again. :( sigh...
Ginny says
I follow your one bite required rule and really try to not make a huge deal our of what my son does or does not eat....I know everything we offer him at home is a wholesome choice.
Margaret says
I so agree with #6. When I went to camp as a kid the rule there was that you had to eat some of everything. You could ask for a "no thank you" serving and that was just a small portion of the food. Camp served some foods that I had never eaten, like prunes. I started out with a "no thank you" serving and discovered that I actually liked the things! I don't recall anyone ever making a fuss because that was the rule and that was that.
Sheri says
For better or worse, my 4 year old will try almost anything if it's a "race". While I don't know if it's a good thing, he does like brussel sprouts now.
Anita says
Hi Lisa, Great book review! I love books and I love France and French food. I lived there for a year and have practiced many of the rules above at home with my 2 year old and my husband. My son since he started to eat food, ate almost everything I put in front of him. He was always on the highest percentile in weight for his age. He was and is very healthy, not over-weight as all food I gave him I cooked, no sugar, almost no butter, no sweets of any kind. However, lately I have been having problems with leftovers, if he ate his steamed tofu and carrots for lunch the day before, he will not touch them for supper the next day. I even cut happy faces in his steamed carrots, that didn't work, he just picks it up and starts playing with it, tofu untouched, then if he sits in his booster seat too long, he will start throwing the food or put his hand in his plate and start smearing them and laugh hysterically like it was the best game in the whole world. I know I will now have to freeze leftovers to have another time .... most likely not in the same week. But that means I may have to cook a fresh meal ever time for my little guy
Denise says
I always used the "no thank you bite" rule with my daughter. My son, though, came along, and I can't get him to abide by that rule. I am having the hardest time with him
Beth Kamleh says
Always keep trying is my advice. My daughter will hate something one day and eat it a few days later. I think it's easy to give in and give them junk food. But if we are persistent it can really make a difference!
Heather says
We don't label anyone as picky. If they choose not to eat something or anything that is served at a meal they see it again at the next one. Their plate is never overloaded, but they do have to eat it. And although many think it is extreme it works for us. The longest we've gone is a child that didn't eat much for 24 hours and then gobbled up their plate and had a nice dinner with us. When they are hungry they will eat and our goal is to teach them that you eat what is served and are grateful for the healthy, plentiful food we have and a mommy that works hard to make it for them. People are always very surprised to see how well our kids eat at ages 4, 2 and 9 months. It is because they eat what we eat and we always eat it as a family.
Kathie says
I tell the children it is my job as Mom to give them all the different veggies, etc. on their plate at mealtime, and they need to let me do a good job. Thanks for the giveaway.
Christine says
like!!
Christine says
In my house, my kids eat what my husband and I eat - there is no exception. I also try to set a good example by eating what I "preach." And I've found that when I involve my kids in the cooking process, they're much more likely to try and like the food.
Marg MacIntosh says
I just keeping veggies on the plate hoping that someday he'll try them...he's now 15 and is a very picky eater...he doesn't like veggies or fruit
Rebecca Olsen says
Like
Heather says
I keep offering and encouraging them to try different foods. My three year old finally eats broccoli, but it's been a year long battle.
Amanda B says
Like!
JessicaW says
like
Amanda says
In trying to make the switch to "real food" I have found that by ridding my house of processed junk snacks, my kids have naturally chosen to eat fruits and veggies, simply because the other stuff is not there.
Connie M says
like
Rebecca Olsen says
For picky eaters make food look fun on their plate. Put fresh vegies or fruit on a skewer for fun kabob's.
Connie M says
Best picky eater tip is juicing! We juice every morning and our three year old chugs it down, even though it is packed with veggies.
Jessica says
I have to remind myself to try giving my kids things again. Sometimes after a few months or even a year, my 4 year old will love something he previously refused to eat. *I* need to remember not to be the cause of food ruts.
Tracy Stone says
like
Suzy Sibert says
My picky 3 year old will usually eat something he picked out of our gardens.
Elise says
like
Elise says
Take one bite and tell me why you don't like it.
Jennifer McC says
Like
Jennifer McC says
The one bite rule: you have to try one bite, even if you don't like it.
Rebecca Olsen says
Never make dessert a reward for eating all of your food. Instead have dessert as an occasional treat that keeps it special.
Lisa Platschorre says
Like!
Janell C says
like
Janell C says
You have to try at least a bite of everything on your plate.
Lisa Platschorre says
Our meals usually have a variety of foods. We tell our granddaughter we want her to try one bite of food she's never tried before. If she likes it, I try to not make a big deal out of it, because sometimes that embarrasses people. If she doesn't like it, I thank her for trying it and offer her more of the things she does like.
Jada says
Like!
Jada says
I always feed my kids what us adults are eating. I've been very lucky neither one of my kids have been real picky!
Julie says
Picky eater tip: It's not recommended by the French, but I hide the veggies in other foods in addition to using the "you don't have to like it, but you have to try it" rule. I feel that way, they will get the nutrition of the veggies until they start to like them!
Sarah says
In our house (4 kids under 10), we make ONE meal, making sure there is at least one part of the meal that everyone likes. If there's something on your plate that you don't like, you have to have one bite. The kids call it "Mommy's 'one-bite' rule"! Also, if the kids are climbing the walls hungry before supper is ready, I will cut up a plate of raw veggies for them to snack on and they devour them (they think they're getting a "snack before supper", but really I'm getting all their veggies in!). Thanks for the book recommendation, I can't wait to read it - my youngest is extremely difficult to get fruits and veggies into.
Katey says
I wish I had some good advice, but my 2 and 3 year olds are both picky. Mom and Dad are also picky. It sounds like we could all learn a lot from this book.