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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Marie says
I try really hard not to cook separate meals. I make things plain or separate if need be, so that everyone has choices at the dinner table. It is sort of like a la carte sometimes, you can out together what you want to make a meal. Or, peanut butter crackers. :)
Jocelyn says
Ketchup! My son would NOT eat green beans. So one day we asked him to try the green beans with a little ketchup, and he liked it!! One way to get his veggies.
Debbie says
I would request that the kiddos at least try a small bite. It was fun trying food served in other countries. We would look up information and picks concerning other countries and what the children would eat and try finding the items at our grocery stores. Fun Times.
Charissa says
If our kids don't like what we're having it's fine, "we'll have another meal in the morning". Mostly, they choose to eat, at least a little and if they don't?? we have another meal in the morning!!
Julie says
Like. Facebook fan!
Lisa says
like
Lisa says
Patience, patience, patience along with a little persistence and love.
Anice says
So far Oliver, 15 months, has been willing to at least taste everything but if he doesn't like it he let's me know. I'm hoping he'll continue to do this in the future. Love your site by the way! I've completely hanged the way we eat after finding your site. :) thanks.
Gwen says
I'm a Facebook fan!
Gwen says
We have one fantastic eater (eats anything I put in front of him - so glad he is our oldest - helps set the tone for his little brother!) and one who is pickier (but improving). The turning point for our picky eater was when we put our foot down and said he had to eat what the rest of us eat or go to bed hungry (I had started down the short-order cook road.) He has come a LONG way in the year or so since we made that ultimatum, even so far as to eat and enjoy our dinner the other night which was your almond crusted cod and grill-roasted veggies! I am very proud of him and am confident that he will only continue to improve!
Karen Backman says
For my daughter, who avoids veggies like they're the plague, when it's time to eat I put those on her plate first and she has to eat some before anything else goes on there.
If she refuses, then I say she must not be hungry and she can skip dinner or eat her veggies later.
Also, I'm starting her on the if you've had one helping of food and want more, you have to wait 10-15 minutes. She's stopped remembering she wanted more.
Amanda says
Like. I'm a facebook fan
Leah Finn says
I'm a FB fan as well!
Amanda says
My picky eater has to taste everything I serve even if she thinks she wont like it. Things that she says she initially hates she eventually ends up liking. I praise her whenever she tries something new and I explain why different foods are good for her body. I also find that having her make the meals with me helps too.
Leah Finn says
Kids love to "dip" things, so giving them fruit and veggies with peanut butter (& honey & cinnamon, my favorite) or hummus is a fun way to help them eat a rainbow of colors.
Melissa says
I try to introduce new foods sporadically so my kids
don't get defensive quickly about having to
try something "new" AGAIN! They also have
to at least try it before saying they don't like it.
Shannon says
We don't force. We ask for one bite. Our oldest is the pickiest. Just the other night though, he (9yo) decided to try asparagus on his own, no faces, no gagging, no washing it down with milk and he actually said it wasn't bad. Took another piece. My 7 yo would rather have it for himself. I was a picky eater growing up. Making it a control thing makes it worse.
Sharon L. says
Like
Sharon L. says
We get a weekly box of organic fruits and vegetables. My sons are so excited to see the "weird" fruits and vegetables and taste them. They are willing to try them and then they like quite a few.
Angela Melum says
LIKE (definitely a fan on FB)
Anice says
Like!!
Angela Melum says
I actually have been looking for this book. Winning it of course would be nice. My son has sensory issues (he's autistic) and my other was born with congenital heart disease. With the odds stacked against my son with the heart disease I am determined to get my kids to eat healthier. However my son with the sensory issues has a huge affect on the other two.
Katie says
Don't be afraid to try new things in all aspects of life and let your kids see that. Be brave and fearless and maybe they will be more fearless at the dinner table.
Lynda says
I've worked with several children and I have a 4 year old and a 10 month old. My best tip is portion sizes. Let them decide how much goes on their plate, if they need more they will ask! Also if they are not hungry put it in the fridge and offer it to them later. I get mine to help me cook and she loves it!
Hilarie says
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Hilarie says
I wish I had a picky eater tip! I have a super-picky eater (and another that will eat most anything, oddly). I'd love to read more in the book!
Meghann MacKinnon says
Like
elizabeth says
Like
Gina says
Like
Gina says
You don't have to like it, but you do have to taste it!
Holly Sisson says
We ask the kids to take a "no thank you bite" of a new food they don't think they will like. 8 times out of 10 they end up liking it!
elizabeth says
I normally offer 2 options the new food or one they don't like.. they normally choose to try the new food and the have to take 3 bites
Shaina Johnson says
like
Shaina Johnson says
I am actually a picker eater myself and the trick that I use is to add new things in small amounts. For example, I started cutting up onions really small and now I eat big pieces of them and I crave them! I am about to start working on sneaking in tomatoes.
Denise says
like :)
Danielle SupMommys says
like (FB)
Jessica T says
Like!
Danielle SupMommys says
I have 3 girls, 5 ,3 and 2. One at a time I let them each pick a part of the meal they want to help me cook. For example if we are roasting veggies I let them each pick out the veggie they want to help wash/clean, I will cut but they put in a bowl, and I let them sprinkle the seasons ( i have already measured and put in a little bowl) . I let them push the timer on the oven and I keep the oven light on for them to watch cook. At the table they know that they must try the meal and they usually do because they are proud of what they have cooked for dinner :)
Beth Kamleh says
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Ginny says
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