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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
natasha says
My success has been with being offering the foods over and over again. Recently my daughter started eating beans and tomatoes after being offered them for two years.
Jessica says
My kids aren't terribly picky but I do make them try everything. As in they cannot get up from the table until they have at least tried whatever new item/dish I may be serving. I think it is so important for there not to be kid food and grown up food served separately. When I look at friends who have picky eaters this is the main difference, we all eat together and we all eat the same things!
Rebecca Murphy says
Like
kathy schultz says
Never buy babyfood. Start them on the foods that you eat (maybe mashed up a bit) the kiddos will develop a great palate and "kids food" doesn't even exist in their world.
Claire says
Like.
Rebecca Murphy says
A lot of times with my son if he won't eat something all I have to do is present it differently(like cutting into different shaped or size pieces)
Hilde says
Like!
Claire says
One trick I use to get my kids to eat more veggies is to always put out a veggie while I'm finishing dinner. They are hungry and see the only option out is a veggie and they usually eat it. The French do this in a more structured way by always serving a vegetable in the first course.
Hilde says
Feed food she's less crazy about or new to first when she's the hungriest and save her favorites for last.
Julie says
LIKE :)
Laura says
I've liked you on Facebook, so ... like!!
Tina Smeby says
Like!! :-)
Allyn says
like!
Tina Smeby says
The texture of food sometimes trips up my fussy eater, so I've discovered that the smaller I can cut something, the better it masks a "weird" texture.
Laura says
Patience and trying foods over and over and over (and over and over!). (And for me, not taking refusal of food personally, no matter how hard I worked on preparing it!)
Angie says
My girls love to pick the veggie's from our garden that we use for dinner, snacking as they go. It makes it all very exciting!
Allyn says
My picky eater tip: I tell my two year old we have to count her bites... she just started counting, and loves it, so she gets really into it!
Lisa says
We implement the "you have to try one bite of everything on your plate" rule. Ive found that with my 3.5 year old, that first bite is the hardest. Very rarely does he say he doesn't like it and refuse to eat. Usually he cleans his plate! But be patient. Sometimes that first bite first happen for 15 minutes. We just keep eating and talk about our day... If he asks to be excused, I just gently remind him he has to take a bite. Dinner is quality family time AND nourishment. :)
marie says
I don't have a picky eater... but I wonder if that's because we won't tolerate it. You eat what's served or you don't eat.
Also when he was a baby, I made his food. I think he was exposed to more food then, so maybe that helped?
Lenae Crumley says
I have my son help me make dinner and while making it he can try anything he wants. When we are eating he also had to try two bites of what he thinks he does not like. One bit of just the item alone and one he can have any way he wants. Like with peas...one spoon of just peas and then one he can add sauce or cheese or wrap it in something
Michelle E says
Like!
Michelle E says
Whenever my daughter says she doesn't like something (sometimes something she ate happily just the week before!) the rule is she has to take 3 bites. If she still doesn't like it she is done. Usually she decides she like it but at the very least she gave it a shot.
Terri Stigall says
Like!!
Sara says
I don't allow picky eaters in my house. I DO NOT cook more than 1 meal at a time and if I spend time in the kitchen cooking my family food, they aren't allowed to whine about what it is...you eat it, or you go hungry! I do allow some flexibility with the veggie. As long as they eat the rest of their meal, they only have to taste the veggie. Same with organic milk. We switched a couple months ago and my oldest does not like it. He is required to take a sip at every meal to train his taste buds since we aren't reverting back to the old milk.
juliet says
persistance
Lenae Crumley says
Like
Nikki says
Like
Nikki says
If my daughter says she doesn't like something I have her try it anyways. I don't make a big issue of it and reintroduce or offer it several times before giving up. :0)
Rachel Wilson says
like
Rachel Wilson says
She loves to her veggies, because that's what we eat!
Terri Stigall says
I have a B.A. In French and understand everything mentioned here! My picky eater tip is to transition into real food by integrating whole food methods into the foods your kids love. Mac n cheese: don't make it out of a box. Look up recipes using real cheeses and you can always add some grated carrot to get an extra boost. Pizza: again, not out of the box. Smiley faces with tomatoes, olives an red peppers or pineapples chunks. Make the bread an ad the ingredients. Don't forget to include your kids in the making; invest them!
Denise Dwyer says
My son and husband are picky eaters, so I have gotten to the point that I make the meal and don't tell them before it is on the plate, what we are having. If they don't eat one thing that I am making a will put something else healthy to eat as the side, most of the time fresh fruit.
Caroline says
We are from the UK and were home for the summer with our 2 year old. I was so impressed with how kids menus in almost all of the restaurants we ate in were mainly the same options as the adult menu (just fewer of them and smaller, cheaper portions). I am so used to eating out here in the US and the kids meal choices being hotdogs, burgers and chicken nuggets that I had forgotten that that doesn't have to be the way it is
Rosalie DiBello says
When my grandchildren were young they spent weekends with me. I told them didn't have to eat what I fixes but they had to try it. AND, if I asked them what they thought they could tell me the truth. If I didn't ask, I didn't want to hear their comments. It worked pretty well. Didn't get the "Yuck", "Ahhhh" and all the other sounds I can't type.
Angela Baldonado says
Like
Stephany says
Like!!
Angela Baldonado says
When my daughters help me prepare the food, they are more likely to try it at the dinner table.
Megan says
Liked!
Shelly says
Like! Great tips!
Megan says
Family dinner, whenever possible. I only cook one meal and the kids (3 yrs and 15 mos) eat what we eat. Always serve veggies I know they like on the side so they'll have something they know/like/recognize (that is healthy, too!). I eat with them, and they always eat better when we eat together and they see what we're eating.