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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Amanda says
We have 3 picky eaters, and they have to have at least one bite of something new.
Kristin F says
My best tip is to just try try again. It may take more than a few tries to get a child to like something!
Jenn says
like!
A Simons says
Like!
Jenn says
"The more you eat it the more you'll like it." Not the most effective but it gets them to try it each time and eventually leads to tolerance if not actually liking it.
A Simons says
Persistance is the cure for most pickiness, but you must serve a variety. The children must see you eat well!
Traci Synatschk says
Like
Traci Synatschk says
Fussy Eater Tip: Roasting! The natural sugar carmalization makes even veggies taste better for my kiddos, and they love the crunch!
Jennifer says
I am a Facebook fan.
Jennifer says
I love vegetables so I make a big deal about them whenever I eat with my kids. Also, I've never made a big deal about their food. I don't make them something else, but I always let them choose whether or not they eat something. I may encourage them to try something new, but in general I've found if I stay laid back with them on food they don't look at it as a big deal.
Gretchen says
Fruit is always our morning snack/ breakfast first thing. And before dinner I do put out a veggie plate. It doesn't matter to me if they fill up on veggies before dinner. They usually are happy to eat a good helping of the main course as well. If they don't like it (meals like casseroles for instance) I just ask that they eat a certain number of bites. They always help me cook and shop and menu plan for the week. And we always talk about what meals, baked goods, etc. to plan for based on what would bless other members of the house and still be healthy.
I try to remind myself that what they will eat one week they might not like the next week and visa-versa. It is ok. I loved peas as a kid and now just the smell of them makes me sick. So I uphold a healthy standard without being harsh. We all can remember gagging on certain foods! Haha
Karly says
liked!
Karly says
Truth is we're knee deep in picky-eaterdom right now so I don't have any tips. I do notice that when I make good food choices (for snacks), they are more apt to choose the same item or make their own good food choices as well.
Kitt says
I don't play the short-order cook game. I believe that an abundance of fresh vegetables is one of the best things for human health, and I never understand when parents let their kids not eat them just because they fuss. It's SO important. My kids eat what I serve or wait for the next meal. I've had a few temper tantrums, but I don't tolerate them and hunger always wins out. A child won't actually starve themselves unless there's a serious underlying problem that needs medical attention.
I do try to cook and serve the veggies my kids like the most. I let them pick and help with meals. I don't yell or scream or threaten - I just plainly state that this is dinner and if they'd prefer to wait until breakfast, they can, unless they'd like to grab an apple. Eggplant hasn't been a big hit, so I generally avoid it unless it's just for me. Same with mushrooms. I'm not out to torture my children. I do this because I want them to develop a palette for a healthy diet (which they are!) so they live long, healthy lives.
Unless your child has specifically diagnosed medical or psychological needs, I really believe a strict approach is best. You don't hear about picky eaters in the parts of the world where children die of hunger...
Kitt says
*palate
Marie says
Let your kids help make/grow the food- they are more likely to try if they are invested in it.
Deb says
Like! :)
Deb says
I have my kids at least try what I have prepared. I also try to have a lot of variety in my weekly meals.
Dawn B says
Like!
Dawn B says
We use two "try-it" bites for new or disliked foods, and explain that this is adventurous eating and it expands your palette so that you grow up liking many different foods.
Danielle says
When our kids were toddlers/preschoolers we tried to make eating vegetables fun -- for example, lettuce was dinosaur leaves and broccoli would make you run faster!
Angela E says
I have my kids pick out veggies from the farmer's market. They love to try the things they've found.
Also, I have 5 kids. My big kid are pretty good eaters. I'll have them reassure my little guys, my picky eaters, by telling them how much they like certain foods. That way it isn't just Mom and Dad saying something is yummy. My little ones like eating what their big brother and sister eat.
Angela E says
Like, actually love the Facebook updates.
Ursula says
I need SO much help in this area! I'm loving the comments and would really like to read this book!
Cindy says
Liked!
Jennifer Salas says
Like!
~Kris says
I like your facebook page :)
~Kris says
As the pickiest eater in the house, i have to say the best tip to overcoming picky eating is time, and many attempts to try the food. And just having the food at home and even having a parent (if not both) have a willingness to eat the item, too.
I eat a lot of things now I wouldn't touch as a child. It didn't help that i grew up with a "picky" eater parent (we never saw green vegetables at home growing up). Thankfully, my own children are taking after dad more so then mom... but then again we've always had a large variety of foods at home.
Jennifer Salas says
My best picky-eater tip is simply telling my kids "This is what we are having, how do you want it prepared?" What marinade do they want for the fish is the best example. Or incorporating the main dish into a fancy salad option and they pick the veggies for the salad. We are big on salad!
brindilou says
LIKE
brindilou says
getting kids involved in every step of the process for bringing food from farm to home is awesome! growing a garden, visiting local organic farms, letting them pick what they want to try at the farmer's market, letting them pick recipes, and help cook! when they have ownership, they have more pride in what's on their plate.
there is also no "ordering" from the kitchen. everyone eats the same meal!
amanda says
Our trick is growing much of our own produce, taking the kids to the farmer's market, and during winter, letting them pick out veggies at the store. Ownership equals less pickiness at the table!
Cindy says
We, too, tell our girls they don't have to like it but they do have to try it. Also, cutting veggies up into small pieces seems to help. And then sheer trickery - we have been able to get them to try fish, calamari and pork by telling them it's chicken! Once they've eaten it and realize they like it, we tell them what it really was. :)
Shannon says
"like"
Shannon says
I try to serve my 1yo a variety of foods to avoid the picky eater later - hope it works!!
sher says
liked!
sher says
i have a child who doesn't eat fruit. not at all. he will eat veggies, though, i try to incorporate veggies for him in all sorts of snacky ways as well as at mealtimes.
Elizabeth Jones says
Like!
Elizabeth Jones says
I try to get my kids to help me cook. They have picky tendencies, but sometimes they are more likely to try things when they helped make it!
Stacey says
Like!
Stacey says
Picky eating used to be more of a problem than it is now. The gentle persistent approach has worked for us. The rule I instilled is that you have to try two bites. If you still don't like it, you don't have to eat it. Instead they can have sme fruit. That way, I feel better knowing they ate something, and they never turn down fruit so they are happy with the alternative. My oldest is the pickier one. I started this rule when she was 5. My youngest seems to enjoy food like the French. She rarely turns anything away and is willing to give anything a try. I was proud when we were at a recent family outing and all the older adults were impressed watching my 2 yr old eat a big plate of salad! I've been wanting to read this book! Hope to win!