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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Marie D. says
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Marie Desjardin says
I just keep trying when my 18 month old doesn't want to eat a particular food. Usually she will end up liking a food she previously didn't like.
Sheila says
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Sheila says
Picky Eater tip: "hide" the veggie. I mix veggie like pumpkin and squash into pancakes (while wheat & organic, that is)
Rachel J says
Like! :)
Rachel J says
We have one kiddo who's pretty picky, and he has to try at least one bite of everything. He understands why we're switching things up, and has actually been more willing to try things lately.
Margo says
Also "like"on Facebook!
Margo says
Picky eater tip: let them eat their meal using a toothpick (for older kids only and only in the view of an adult). Other tip: give them something to "dip" their food in!
Kristin says
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Kristin says
I like to take my kids to the produce section and tell them that they can choose anything they want. They love doing this and will almost always (at least) taste the food once it's prepared. ~K
Chalene says
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Chalene says
My favorite tip may or may not fit into these rules, but when trying out a new dinner, make a special dessert (dessert is not a daily event). Whomever tries it, earns dessert.
LaFawn says
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LaFawn says
I have two very picky eaters at my house. The best tip that I can give is one that I still use with my eldest son. For every year that the child has been alive he must take that exact number of bites out of each new food. The bites don't have to be huge, but they can not be little bird bites either.
Kristina Williams says
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Kim says
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Shara says
I think this is so funny. My best friend is French. She lives in the South of France and her girls are the pickiest eaters you have ever seen. The girls pretty much only eat Nutella and french bread and butter noodles. I think not until a few years ago the girls finally started eating veggies and only very few. They are now 14 and 8.
Kim says
When my oldest was ready for the "stage 3" baby food dinners, I started to puree our meals to save money on baby food. She has always been a wonderful eater; people would comment on the "unusual" things a child her age would eat. By the last child, I just bought mostly baby food for convenience. Though, if I would have known the things I know now, I would not have done that. But, it turns out, that she is my pickiest eater.
Laura says
One of the things that has worked for my 6 year old since he was about 3 is making things out of some of his meals. For example, at lunch today, he had a cheese quesadilla (made the hair of an alien), grapes (eyes), tomatoes (circular mouth), and a few peanuts (what the alien was devouring). This is one of our more interesting examples, but it was super easy, and he loves switching things around as he eats them. When he was younger, we'd do simple caterpillars, birds, etc. Nothing really detailed or picture worthy, but definitely imaginative and it works!
Shirley says
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Shirley says
Things that aren't their favorite like certain vegetables I like to mix into their rice or pasta and that seems to help with the picky eater situation.....
Melanie says
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SusanB says
like! :) (already a fb fan)
SusanB says
My best picky eater tip is use your kid's friends to help your kid try new foods! My son has always been surprised at what his friends will eat, then curious, and then if he sees I'm not pushing it, he will try it at least once, surprisingly often. He *rarely* discovers that he loves it, but I think it's shown him that trying something is entirely his own choice and is a pleasant, socially appropriate and interesting thing to do...and that seems like a lot of the battle to me!
Melanie says
I've noticed that if my kids helped plant, harvest &/or preserve the food, then they're much more likely to not just try it, but eat it.
Anna P says
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Lisa says
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Anna says
We use the No, Thank you bite and the Family Bite. No, thank you is like others described: they have to take a bite of each item on their plate. the family bite is when everyone at the table takes a bite at the same time. sometimes it works others it doesn't. we struggle with when my 2 yo son refuses to even take the no thank you bite. its very frustrating at times when he comes to the table saying he doesn't like something he hasn't even tried yet.
Lisa says
Best picky eater tip is to set a good example! As a parent or caregiver, try everything even if you don't like it, and refrain from making negative faces or comments around disliked or new foods. Kids pick up on this negativity so fast!
Tracy M. says
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Tracy M. says
We do the "one new food per day" game. "This is your one new thing today! Wow! what do you think?" we keep it upbeat and fun. Of course, we don't do this every single day, but most days there's something that comes along that is new. This is in addition to a stress-free, just try it / one bite rule at dinner. So far, my alomst-four year old likes many foods that some adults I know won't eat: beets, blue cheese, lamb, goat, filet mingnon, salmon, shirmp, most fish, salad, onions, all kinds herbs, Vietnamese spring rolls, seaweed/nori, plain yogurt, loquats (well actually, any kind of fruit you put in front of her)- all kinds of stuff in addition to regular kid food (except she wont touch a hot dog or hamburger- go figure!)
Rosana says
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Jennifer says
My two boys have embraced the concepts of "power foods" and I highlight the affects of these foods on their growing bodies. They don't expect to love everything, but they do understand the role the foods play in their development. My boys eat broccoli, blueberries, even kale, etc., because they want to grow strong and be healthy. It surprised me how much they understood at very early ages to eat for nourishment, and that healthful whole foods make them feel good and strong. My kids can look at labels in the grocery stores and question food dyes, etc., and ask me why yogurt is purple and pink swirled. They know my answer - I have no idea why companies put so many chemicals in products for kids, but we don't buy them. :)
Rosana says
I always pureed vegetables and simmered it in with the pasta sauce when making lasagna or spaghetti. It enhanced the flavor and they never knew any different! Same thing with smoothies, I introduced a vegetable such as cucumber, kale, or cabbage.
Diane C. says
If your kids aren't use to real food, make the change slowly. Take the boxed macaroni and cheese and replace half (or even a quarter, if necessary) the noodles with whole-wheat noodles. Then, after a few meals, switch to three-quarters whole-wheat noodles, etc. until they are eating all whole-wheat noodles. Then start replacing the processed cheese sauce with half homemade sauce, etc. It takes a long time but it usually works. And you can do it for almost anything -- start adding very small amounts of vegetables to pasta sauce until you get to the amount you want them to have or mix natural peanut butter and processed peanut butter together until they get used to all natural, etc.
Erica says
When my daughter has a picky dinner, I give her all the control over how much/what on her plate she eats. I know I've done the right thing at the start by providing a healthy, balanced dinner. If she's picky or won't eat, I don't bug her or coax her. I say, "what do you feel like you could eat from your plate?" She makes the choice and she is in control over her dinner. If she chooses nothing, that's fine - she'll quickly learn it's not fun to be too hungry! Amazingly enough, when the next meal comes she's not so picky.
Mindy Marie says
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Mindy Marie says
I always have at least one thing that I know they like as an option to eat.
Andrea b says
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Stephanie says
Like!!