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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Teri says
I agree with the feeling that others are working against you. Sometimes I feel that even from my own family. My dad gives my 2 and 4 year old candy all the time. We live 12 hours away, so it doesn't happen all of the time, but it's still frustrating. My 2 year old is really picky, we just give him what we eat everyday, eventually he ends up trying foods he has refused.
Teresa says
Keep trying to post "like" but site wont let me. Keeps saying "Duplicate comment detected; it looks as though you’ve already said that!"
Barbara says
Like
Teresa says
Just remember they wont keep saying NO when their 16. Whether to eat is one of kids only powers in life.
Barbara says
I just keep offering the disliked food repeatedly and require them to take two bites.
Tina H says
Like
Tina H says
Keeping trying...offer the same "unliked" food over & over again. Prepare it a different way. My 7yr old son does not like squash or zucchini (it's a texture thing he says). Soooo, I put it in a veggie stew and he gobbled it up. It also helps if they see you enjoying that food.
Teresa says
Just keep trying and someday they'll probably like it. Just rememeber, you wont be fighting them to eat their broccoli when their 16. Kids say no because they CAN. It's one of their only powers.
Alicia R says
Like
Alicia R says
My son does not like meat. I don't force him to eat it, but I make casseroles so it is very inconvienent to pick it out. I'm hoping eventually he will just eat all of it.
kim p says
LIKE!!
Jamie says
Like.
Denise Cole says
like
Denise Cole says
When my daughter starting being picky with vegetables and meat we started cutting up her dinner in small pieces and letting her use those fancy frilly toothpicks instead of silverware. She loved eating "fancy" like Fancy Nancy. My youngest thinks it is fun to eat with her fingers so on veggies we let her put down her fork and use her fingers. She eats the veggies since she is doing something "naughty" and getting away with it.
Karen says
Like :)
Karen says
Best tip: We always encourage our kids to help plan the menu for the week or let them browse recipes/pictures for new things they might like to try. That way they were more likely to try something because they got to pick it out.
Robin says
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Robin says
We use the "one bite rule" for our 2 year old. I've also heard a good idea is to roll a dice and kids have to take that many bites. We haven't tried that yet, but it might be fun!
kim p says
Set a good example! If you wouldn't eat it, they won't either, be honest as well. We have tried several new foods lately and have run across a few that we don't like. I tell my son, wow I don't like this much, maybe we should try it prepared differently, but I always finish what I have taken on my plate that way he sees he is not the only one who struggles with dislikes! This is all trial and error, for all of us in the family.
Kathryn says
I think one of the best tips is to just keep putting it on the table...let them keep seeing it..and let them see mom or dad enjoying it. I have some picky eaters...including Daddy. But they see me eating all kinds of vegetables and say...well, it looks kinda gross but I might like it when I'm bigger...and often they'll end up trying and liking it. It's more difficult when dad is a picky eater and does not encourage or require them to try things. But, they see me eating all kinds of things and at least interest is there.
Laurie says
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Anne says
Like! It's certainly not original, but I try to involve my daughter in the meal preparation as much as I can. We love cooking together!
Laurie says
I have begun having my girls cooking in the kitchen with me...when they have a part in the process they will at least try it....:)
mandy says
i like!
mandy says
my kids will eat any veggie if they have homemade tahini dressing to dip them in! even kids (and grown ups) that have never heard of tahini like this dressing.
Rachael says
liked!!!
Rachael says
With my picky eaters, I have found that when they go to the farmer's market with me to pick out new fruits and vegies they are more likely to try them. We have a garden this year, and they have enjoyed being a part of harvesting and cooking the vegies! I think it's all about exposing them to new foods and getting them involved! It's a slow process, but hopefully one with long lasting positive results!
Amy says
Facebook Like!
Megan says
I like to take my boys (4 yr & 16 mo) grocery shopping and let them choose any produce they want. This encourages them to try new things and gives them some ownership in our meals. And it makes me be creative with our food since I never know what they'll choose.
Amy says
I sometimes have my children help cook a new meal. It gets them to feel some ownership and they seem more likely to try it.
Robbin says
I try to remember that children may need multiple (12+) presentations of a food to incorporate it into their diet. When introducing new foods to my son as an infant and toddler I would give him the new food (even if it was a very small amount) every time he sat down to eat. This seemed to increase his acceptance more than, for example, waiting until tomorrow's breakfast to offer eggs. (This is probably most appropriate for new eaters:) I've also noticed that it helps to not rush my son and give him some space while eating. He may initially turn his head at something I offer, but if I just continue with my meal/give him a few minutes, he more often than not eats the previously shunned foods on his own.
Caroline Morris says
I try to take things they like and make a better version. For example your pancakes are a huge hit!,
brandy says
LIKE!!!
brandy says
I can sneak almost any veggie in a smoothie and not get caught! I also puree veggies in homemade sauces. I don't make a separate dinner for my picky eater, however, I make sure I have the veggies and fruit that she does like on hand...that way she is getting some nutrients!
Haley Cash says
Having my son cook with me has really helped him to try things...we've made zucchini oatmeal cookies before and he inhaled them. But if i had sauteed the zucchini and told him to eat it, he would insist that he'd rather die than eat it. Same with broccoli, we call them little trees and when dipping in ranch dressing..they are called snow covered trees. It's all about the presentation!
Darby says
I mix whole wheat spaghetti (1/4) and spaghetti squash (3/4). Kids love it!
Jessica says
FB LIKE!
Jessica says
My tip ( even though I'm a mom to a 4 month old but have several nieces and nephews and cousins!) is to try try try and I can try it with you and make sure good praise for trying!
Nicole says
Like :-)
Nicole says
I was a picky eater growing up (still am a little) and I think the best thing my parents did was to NOT cater to only what I liked. They still had me eat what everybody else was eating and I always had to finish what was on my plate even if it was just a little spoonful of peas.