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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Sarah says
Several years ago I had received an e-mail forward called "Gods Pharmacy." Several examples are: "a sliced carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, eye and radiating lines of the sliced carrot look like the human eye...and YES, science now shows carrots great enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes." Several more examples include: tomato's, grapes, walnuts, bok choy, celery, kidney beans, avocado, eggplant, pear, figs, sweet potato, olive, figs, onions and oranges. That e-mail prompted me to actually show my (5) kids why a certain vegetable is really good for their bodies to eat even if they would rather not. It's not a perfect system, but now my kids ask me about most foods they eat, and why it's good for them. If I'm not sure, I'm able to make up something, like a peach for example "its smooth and soft like your skin, so it's probably good for keeping your skin smooth and soft." They have asked me several times about how foods like candy, McDonalds, etc are good for them, and I'm also able to tell them that it won't help their body. My (2) pickiest eaters have voluntarily consumed vegetables because of their health value thanks to "Gods Pharmacy" explanations!
Cara says
LIKE!!!!
Julie says
When I first started babysitting for a family's kids (eventually becoming their nanny), I started taking them out for lunches and dinners, instead of the usual delivery pizza and quick drive through they were used to...Even though they seemed picky, we always went to a new place. I encouraged them to try new things and think about what they were eating. They were excited to see what was outside of the small world of their home and when I became a regular part of their everyday, we had to get creative with the limited fresh&whole food in the kitchen. They were ready to try new culinary concepts...they were ready to eat outside of the box :)
Rachel C says
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Rachel says
We offer our 21 month old picky eater something we know he likes (mango, rice, cheese) and after he gets a bite of it we then offer the "new" food and can usually get him to eat a few bites. I've really had to resist the urge to get upset or worried that he's not eating "well." My husband and I try to keep the mood light and neutral. It sure has been challenging especially since he used to eat everything but has of late become more picky.
Michelle C says
Having had 4 children, I can attest to the fact that some children are fussy/finicky eaters no matter what you do. I had one of the four constantly fight me at mealtime. My solution became that not only did you have to try the dish but you had to take as many bites as was their current age. If they were 3 they had to take 3 bites, etc. Although it took a few years, we stuck to our guns and it worked. That child (now 19 and in college) has now become an adult that has an appreciation for "real" food vs. the processed food that can so easily be picked up from fast-food restaurants.
Rachel says
"Like"
Rachel says
I don't know that I have a "best tip" but I agree with the tone of this book when it comes to our approach. There isn't one thing we do but rather we try and create a healthy food environment. We try to lead by example and eat a variety of healthy whole foods ourselves, grow food in our garden that our children help plant and harvest which gets them very excited about it, talk about the good things that healthy food does for our bodies and the not so good things eating only junk food can do, honestly talk about our own likes and dislikes when it comes to food so they know it is ok to not love every kind of food but that it is good to try it and still eat a little of it even if it isn't your favorite, try new foods as a family and talk about how you feel in creating and eating it, and to (try) and not get negative when it seems like your child never wants to try something new or eat a certain food. We are not perfect eaters, neither are our children but my hope is that by creating a healthy food environment from a young age that they will grow up to make healthy choices for themselves.
Cassie says
Like :)
MH says
Like!
Katie B. says
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Cassie says
My husband is the picky eater. I'm trying to go vegan so we both have learne to compromise as he has no intentions of giving up meat. When I make a new vegan dish he agrees to try it as is and after the meal he can request I add a lean cut of meat to his dish in the future. I also put veggies in the food processor then add them to sauces so he gets more veggies too.
Katie B. says
My children always eat the same meal that I'm making for my husband and I. It's worked so far.
Cindy says
We make Saturday our special day, we shop together, pick out ingredients, he helps me put them away when we get home. He pulls up a chair and we make our veggie cookies together. He is 3 and very picky and if i let him help, he will eat it. Our veggie chocolate chip pancakes are the best.
Jennifer B says
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Jennifer B says
My daughter is 5 years old and she has been a great eater ever since she was a baby. Starting from infant, I would offer her (and bring along in a container) kidney beans cooked and cooled storing in the fridge for a few days. I would bring them with us everywhere and give in place of cheerios as a 'treat'. My mother thought I was awful for only offering veggies even when she had no teeth but there are cleaver ways to sneak in different foods without them seeming like a weird part of your meal. Consistency is also key! The more you offer different flavors/textures and colors, the quicker you will see favorable results. We have never made different meals for our children unless we were making something very (very) spicy. I dont think its fair or a good idea to have little ones from infant to pre=school age forced or pushed to eat things with a lot of spice as it can really agravate their little tummys. Just because mom and dad love hot hot foods doesnt mean the kids should have to be subjected to only that so we will make something a little lighter in flavor for those nights. Honestly this MIGHT happen a 5-t6 times over the course of a year so I think we are doing very well!
Jenny says
My children have never had special meals, they have always eaten what we ate, and that has made a huge difference.
Audrey C says
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Audrey C says
Be a good example and don't stop serving a food just because your picky eater didn't like it the first (or fifth!) time.
Amilee says
I try to cook different things everyday so my kids are used to the idea of trying new things and don't think they can only eat the same foods. I do struggle with one very picky eater, however, and would love a helpful book like this!
Ashley says
Don't be a short order cook!
Kim says
We love to set a table with tablecloth, colorful napkins, and flowers if possible. We then let our children help light the candles on the table, which adds a special atmosphere. Admittedly, everyone is more apt to eat when there is also dessert to sometimes look forward to!
Tandy says
I try to expose my child to a variety of foods. Even if she tries something and doesn't like it, I ask her to give it several more chances. Sometimes it's that third try that she decides she really does like the food.
Melissa says
This book sounds great and could use to get my picky eaters to eat!
Joy says
We lived in France for several months, and I miss, desperately, the French attitude toward food. So, so much. There are such close ties yet between consumers and producers of food. *sigh*
"Picky Eater" tip - New and different meals and combinations of foods I call "experiments", and I give them a heads up that it's an experiment, and I'd like them to try it to give me feedback on it, and it is a "fail" they can make themselves a sandwich after, if they need one. Then we sing the line "salt makes mistakes taste great" from the Barenaked Ladies song "Raisins", from their CD "Snacktime". :D They usually end up eating a fair bit of it, even the first time.
Leah says
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Leah says
We just keep trying things, offered with thing I know my picky eater likes. For example, a new vegetable is served with a side of strawberries, her favorite.
Tina sneed says
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Tina sneed says
I am at a stalemate with my picky water! I'm out of tips!
Jennifer says
Best thing I did to overcome my "picky veggie eater" dilemma was to plant a garden. It wasn't fancy and the kids had total control of picking the veggies to bring in and then prepare a "salad". Amazing what they are willing to eat once they "owned" the garden. Now we fight over who gets the most green peppers!
Katie says
**Like**
Katie says
My best picky-eater trick is to involve my kids in the preparation- they are a lot more likely to try something new if they helped make it.
Sherri says
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Sherri says
I have kids pick out fruits or veggies they like at the store & mix them in a recipe with something they don't like till we find combinations so they eat just about everything! It also seems each year they like more & more foods! So we just keep trying foods over & over!
Michelle says
"like"
Michelle says
Don't give into the temptation to be a short order cook. Have your children try what you're eating. In my daughter's case she is always more interested in what the adults are eating anyway.
Chelsea Bates says
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Chelsea Bates says
When I make something my daughter doesn't think she likes we have an "adventure bite" rule. She as to take 2 adventure bites before she decides she doesn't like something. Then the next time I make the dish she still has the adventure bite rule. It has turned broccoli and other veggies into foods she actually likes now.
T. says
I puree all kinds of veggies and freeze them half a cup at a time in snack baggies. Any time I make a soup, stew, red sauce or anything like that, I throw several different bags in it so they can't see it. Then I toss in my "token" veggies that they can look and and go "ewww! I don't like those." But they have just eaten all kinds already!
Natalie says
We have a few picky eaters here- one thing that has worked is the penny game- each person (including adults) gets three pennies at the beginning of a meal. The goal is to get rid of all of your pennies first by thinking of three nice things to say about your meal. You have to say at least one nice thing about the main part of the meal, and one nice thing about something else. Whomever gets rid of their pennies first, wins!