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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Marjorie George says
Since my son does not really like green leafy vegetables I make smoothies & put lots of spinach in them.
Lisa says
I'm still working on a good tip! But I do try having my girls help cook, we talk about healthy choices and ëating a rainbow" of food colours ... and they have to at least try the food that's put in front on them.
Chelsea says
Like?
Chelsea says
Grow a vegetable garden and allow your kids to help pick some of the veggies that you grow. Also, have them help take care of the garden.
Sarah L says
I'm really curious about this book! Unfortunately, I don't really have a good picky eater tip. I'm pregnant with my first child, though, so I'm trying to pick up as many tips as possible.
Anne Vic's says
Like!
Anne Vic's says
Ok, I know this is kind of gross. Hopefully other moms of boys will get this! When our son was 4 he stopped eating many veggies he had previously enjoyed. So when it came to green beans, we told him they were green worms and he gobbled them up. He liked pretending his food was other things (alligator toes, buffalo noses, etc.) He's 7 now, and thankfully we are past that stage!
Tiera Schulz says
Like!
Tiera Schulz says
Oh I wish I had a good picky eater tip! Aside from hiding the vegetables in some dishes and just constantly offering them...my picky eaters are still just that...picky. Though, my eldest, as she has gotten older has definitely broadened her palate quite a bit! She still refuses to eat corn though. :) She used to just swallow it whole like a pill when she was younger and figured out that it was the same size as some of the medication she had to take!
Oh...don't let the older ones make comments about whether they like something! That is probably the biggest thing right there!
Erin says
As an adult, I trained myself to like foods I disliked as a kid, mostly through regular exposure. By convincing myself to take "just one" bite of a pickle spear next to my sandwich, I realized pickles weren't as terrible as I remembered. Same goes for olives, raw tomatoes, etc. I see how the "two bite" rule helps to expand a kid's palate!
Jennifer says
I don't have a picky eater tip but need all the help I can get because I have a VERY picky 8 year old.
Amy says
Everyone gets a day to plan the menu. By including my picky ones in planning, they tend to be more open to the days they don't get to be in charge!
janegaither says
Totally agree with everything you write. I wish I had been more aware of issues like "short order cook" when my kids were young.
Jenna S. says
like!
Jenna S. says
I don't have kids yet but I was a picky eater when I was little! My mom always encouraged me to try one or two bites of something I hadn't had before. I feel like in the long run it made me a more adventurous eater!
Charlotte Cromwell says
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Dawn R says
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Dawn R says
We always use "two no thank you bite" rule. If my kiddo's don't want to eat it, they must at least try a first bite to make sure they don't like it. Then they try a second bite to make sure they don't want it. If they truely don't like/want it after the 2 bites they are allowed to have a peanut butter and banana on whole wheat bread, and since I am not a short order cook, they must make it themselves. (My 6 year learned last year)!
Krista says
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Krista says
I have an extremely picky husband who doesn't like vegetables or most healthy items. He is very proud to say that he has never had a salad or lettuce of any type. Crazy, right? My biggest concern is that he will pass his attitudes towards food on to our kids. Our first is only 3 months and I think it's going to get tough around here once he starts eating solids, sobi can use all the help I can get.
Eve says
Krista - I struggle with this also. Half the time I am making a second meal because of my picky husband. Also - the variety we eat is very limited, so I think that has led to my daughter not having a wide range of foods she likes.
My 7year old girl is developing his habits. Luckily most of what she likes is healthy (she hates pizza, mac and cheese, and most kids food). Our problem is she only has about 4 main meals she likes, so I get frustrated with trying to feed her a variety. (Homemade bean burritos, peanut butter and banana sandwiches, fish fillets, and shredded beef is her 4 main staples). She doesn't care for most meat, no steak, no porkchops,no bacon, very little chicken. I have tried vegetarian choices, but most things are casserole style and she doesn't like those either.)
We do make her taste everything, and she is more then willing to, but still just dislikes almost everything. Luckily she loves fruit and at least a handful of different vegetables. She is even frustrated that she doesn't like most things.
Jennifer says
I don't have a tip to offer as I struggle with 2 picky eaters. For some reason around 9mo for eachof them they started refusing vegetable baby foods, and as they have become older and they have become picker since then.
Melissa says
My daughter became much less picky when she started watching Food Network; it really broadened her food interests.
Ellen says
Liked
Ellen says
We recently (with in the past six months) changed over to real foods. My husband and youngest child has fully embrassed it while my oldest and pickiest child has completely rebelled against it. While we are no where near the finish line in teaching my oldest how to eat real whole healthy foods we have found that patients and persistence is a must! It also helps to take a dish that they truly love and introduce it (after they have eaten and loved it) as a real foods meal. It helps them to see that it can be really delicious food.
Maree says
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Maree says
I admit that this is an issue in my house, and I started when my children were young with the best of intentions. I cook a lot, avoid fast food, and do not buy junky snacks. The best tip I have is to really develop a habit of letting children be hungry sometimes. By this I mean if you serve dinner and they fuss about it or don't want to eat it, don't struggle, but make it clear that the next meal is breakfast. And don't give in to feeding them something else later. It is tough when they are hungry and persistant, but after a few times, kids will get that they need to eat when it's available!
Tiffany says
We make them at least try a bite and then also allow them to dip veggies in ketchup. We've also taught our son that taking a bite of veggies in the same bite as a food you like hleps it taste better. Our daughter (age 2) doesn't quite get that yet!
Ginette says
We started out making pretty boring stir-fry recipes to get our picky eater to try it. Then as she got used to eating stir-fry we upped the ante by adding new ingredients. As soon as she got used to eating one thing, we'd add something new. Doesn't work all the time, but pretty good at getting her to try lots more foods.
Laurie says
Smoothies ! You can add a lot of veggies in those.
Susan S says
One tip is to have the children help prepare the food. If they prepare they are more likely to eat it. We also follow the "kids eat what adults eat" rule at dinner time. Thanks for the review.
Jess says
like
Jess says
If my kids don't want to eat something, they have to take 2 "no thank you" bites before saying, "No, thank you." My kids have found a lot of things that they actually like that they weren't willing to try at first.
kristen says
"like"
kristen says
Four of my five children and very good eaters, always have been. I'm not sure why, but one, right in the middle, is picky! I cook most meals and everyone is served the same thing and everyone tries each dish. Finally, after years of serving salad, my picky eater announced that he likes salad!! Two things helped: I made a slightly different dressing and named the salad "Cowboy Salad" and he saw his cousins eating it. I'm not sure which had more influence, nor does it matter. :)
Cassey says
I found your website on pinterest and I have really enjoyed it. I have two picky eaters and I'm working on my 6 month to not be too. I know it starts with me and my husband but he is on of those picky eaters :( but I think that I'll just start cooking the healthier way and they will get use to it and maybe have him read this book might change the mind frame b/c he does want to be healthy. Thank you for this book review!
Wendy says
I follow on FB
Wendy says
A couple of "no thank you" bites, no pressure, but keep exposing them to lots of food.
Sarah says
"Like"
Crystal says
I follow you on FB
Crystal says
We have 5 children and there is always someone who doesn't like what is being served. Usually they just don't eat or get a treat if one happens to be served after dinner.