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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Miriam says
Smoothies are a great place to disguise lots of flavors :)
Jasmine says
I let each kid pick a fruit and pick a veggie at the grocery store. They're more likely to eat what they pick out.
Maureen says
Like:)
Maureen says
I do truly believe that patience & persistence is the key. Variety also helps:) I have one picky eater & one who has been eating everything since he was not even a year old, but if our picky eater won't eat what we are eating, like tacos, then I offer a fruit, veggie, or yogurt.
Jenny says
We try to associate food with things our kids enjoy. Although we want our kids to be well-mannered at meal-time, we encourage playing "basketball" by shooting their peas carefully into their mouths. My kids ask for peas, whereas I always begged my mom to make anything but peas! We also go to a local farm and pick our own produce throughout the summer. One of my sons is very picky, but he will eat blueberries while he picks them!
Bet Baker says
Like!
Bet Baker says
My Tip: Put the food on only my plate or in my bowl! They are much more interested when they see me or their father eating it and it isn't on their plates! After I play "hard to get" and give them a bite of what I'm eating, they typically like it and then want their own! ;)
Kelly H says
My kids will try new things or eat more healthier items if I serve them with chopsticks, fancy toothpicks, on a stick or do something silly like put fruit in a icecream cone. Serving it in an interesting way makes it more appealing to them and more fun for them.
kristen says
I have my son go grocery shopping with me and have him pick out something new to try in the produce section.
Susan K says
I have had my boys in the garden with me since they were walking. They love to eat what they see grow. And now they recognize that items from the farmer's market were grown much like the items at home. When they get to pick, or pick-out their vegetable or fruit, (even at the supermarket) they automatically have some pride in it and are much more willing to eat it!
Tiffany says
Like!!!!!
Tiffany says
My family creates the weekly meal plan together. We sit down on Saturday night and plan breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the week. This way everybody gets a say in what we eat for the week.
Jessica says
liked!
Jessica says
We play the crunch game... "how does that food sound when you take a big bite?" For some reason, this has gotten them to take a taste of foods they originally did not want to try. Now they are eating Kale chips cuz they like the sound.
Gina Crowder says
I have my kids help me cook things that they may not like. They are more apt to try them.
sasha rodriguez says
My best picky eater tip is to continue to.offer the food even though it is disliked because usually the picky eater is just afraid of the food and hasn't really tried to enjoy it. :)
I also liked the tip from the book of its ok to be hungry b
etween meals.
Katie says
I don't have a whole lot of tips as my daughter is only 1, but the thing that we're trying is to keep offering the same thing even if she refuses it once or twice or ten times. Often she'll eventually eat it happily.
Theresa Horan says
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Theresa Horan says
We try to extend our house rules of eating whatever Mom and Dad eats to restaurants too. We decline offers to see a "Kids Menu". When our daughter was younger, I shared my entree with her. But now that she's older, she is given the option to choose her meal off the adult menu. More often than not, she still opts to share mine with me. It's a win-win: She gets the variety we want for her, and I get built-in portion control.
Linda Zaffarese says
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Linda Zaffarese says
I find the best way to get my kids to try something is to put it on a homemade pizza!
Jill says
Yoire right, it does take persistence and patience to change bad eating behaviors. My husband and I started putting away our phones at mealtime and enjoy our conversations more with the kids at dinnertime. We also applied the "you don't have to like it , but you have to try it rule and it's really helped. Thanks for all the wonderful tips and inspiration from your website Lisa! We really need to gets our kids and ourselves eating better!
Aimee says
I am grateful to have 2 healthy eating daughters (ages 20 and 14). We always ate together at the dinner table and I only made one meal. They were never intersted in most "kid menus". Although my 14 year old still eats off the kid menu at Teds Montana Grill. She gets the grilled salmon and steamed broccoli...go Teds!
I nicknamed some vegis many years ago. Broccoli = trees, etc. I just tried to make it fun and funny.
Chelsea says
My best tip for picky eaters is to cut everything into bite sized pieces and let the kids eat with a toothpick - my kids will eat anything if they can eat it with a toothpick!
Jessica says
Like!
Jessica says
My 3 year old use to eat EVERYTHING and just recently started being extremely picky. I never make anything different for him and I just keep hoping and praying he will start enjoying things more! Having him help in the kitchen has helped him become slightly more willing to at least taste our creations :)
melissa says
my best picky eater tip is get them involved in the cooking/prep process!
Kimmie says
My best “picky eater†tip is to NOT hide the "icky" food (vegetables, meat, etc.) in another food (smoothies, spaghetti sauce, etc.).
Debi says
I also have a funny take on the older sibling's opinion problem... My oldest decided she didn't like spinich because her school friends didn't(it was short lived) and was pretty vocal about it. Her sister then refused to eat it also, I pointed that out my oldest. Together we had to solve the problem, which we did, calling it "hot salad". She saw how much little sister copied her and it helped be more careful in the future.
missy says
liked!!
missy says
We call it the 1 bite rule. You have to take at least 1 bite of everything on your plate...after that 1 bite, if you don't like it you don't have to eat anymore.
Becky says
I for one never want the government telling people what to eat because that robs me of my liberty and others to choose. I have chosen to be a vegetarian and raise my kids to eat healthy, but I don't want that choice imposed on others or their choices imposed on me. You can certainly begin suggesting people change, but just as it is your right to eat one way, it's their right to their way.
Debi says
Liked :)
Debi says
I always fed my kids what we ate, and expected them to eat at least 3 bites of everything. Luckily both girls (and my granddaughter) are not picky eaters. We have always enjoyed cooking together and have always used lots of fruit and vegies and good basic ingredients. My Mom always baked "from scratch" and that's what I learned and passed down. It's funny to have what I took for granted as normal eating, not really be the norm anymore.
Jen says
We have always used the picky eater rule - you don't have to like it, but you do have to taste it. This actually works. My kids are pretty picky, but 2 out of three will eat ribs and steak and salsa because of this rule. Doesn't work quite as well with veggies, but they tend to try more of the veggies they help us grow and pick from our own garden.
laurie says
like :)
laurie says
We serve fruit alongside every meal; it's not just vegetables that have lots of important nutrients. The kids think the fruit is dessert.
Laurie says
Liked!!
Lisa says
I don't let my son eat anything other that what I prepared for the rest of the family. But if he really doesn't want what we're having we don't force him. He just doesn't get anything else!
Marjorie George says
Like!