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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Christina Crosby says
My two girls are two and five. One of our dinnertime rules is that if you don't like it you have to eat as many bites as years you are old. My five year old of course thinks this is dreadfully unfair, but that's the rules and that's that! When we took on the "100 day" challenge I threw out all the Top Ramen, Mac N Cheese, Spaghettio's, etc. So there is no option of them having any of those things anymore. I always give them fruit at dinner, and they of course gobble that up, but there have been a few nights when they went to bed hungry. Good thing they LOVE the Banana Pancakes I make in the morning! Yahoo! Stick to the rules. They will follow at some point!
Rachel says
Like :)
Rachel says
Past few days we have been telling our kids that once dinner is over, "the kitchen is closed," and they won't be able to eat anything else until breakfast. They try harder to eat what's in front of them...
Mackenzie says
"like"
Mackenzie says
Cook with it anyway and let them pick it out on their plate. Chances are, they're not going to get it all, and, eventually, they will come to not even bother and enjoy eating it!
Michelle G says
Like
Michelle G says
This is exactly what I need to incorporate in my household. I used to LOVE cooking until I had kids. Now it is such a drag because they won't eat anything. Mealtime is so frustrating.
Kristy Kelley says
Like!
Kristy Kelley says
When I let my daughter help make the dish, she is a lot more apt to try it!
Susan says
Liked
Stephanie says
"like"
Stephanie says
I mix in the less desirable foods in with the more desirable ones, like chopped spinach in an omelet or use cauliflower as pizza "dough" and top with all the favorite toppings
Alisa Breese says
Like
Alisa Breese says
My daughter was raised on homemade baby food. I steamed or baked and smashed everything she ate. As she grew, she became picky. I have introduced her to veggies both frozen and dehydrated. She loves to eat vegetables that are in one of those two forms. Now she is into making smoothies (she is 14) so when I make a smoothie for her I sneak veggies in the drink! After she drinks it, I let her know what was in it so she can make it again. So far so good!!
Kristin says
*like
Kristin says
I put small amounts of each food we are eating on my 3-year-old's plate. She must taste each food before she gets more of anything else. She will complain, but she always has her one piece of the least desired item on her plate so she can have more of something else.
Amy U says
*like
Amy U says
My 2 kids are pretty great eaters. We've always fed them what we eat---no special meals. Lately, my 9 y.o. son, has become choosy about the berry fruits he eats. He wants the shape & coloring to be perfect (i.e. grapes, blueberries).
Yesterday, I made a face on his plate with Bananas, Blueberries & Strawberries. Making it fun seemed to bring about less complaints. Today, he made his a face on his own on his plate. Guess it was fun!
We talked about how mother nature doesn't make all grapes (or whatever) of uniform size & shape.
Annie ross says
My favorite way of encouraging My boys to they
Something new was to give it an exciting name.
My boys wouldn't each gravy but inhaled 'special sauce'
Which of course was gravy - don't tell them lol
Annie ross says
Try something new*
Annie ross says
Oh my late night iPhone posting difficulties - eat not each*
lz says
Exposure to the food repeatedly. Touch the food, play with the food and then have one bite of the food they don't want, then a bite of the food they like. Slowly increase the size of the bite or the number of bites you want them to take. Also, model. If you aren't eating the food your kids won't either!
Jane says
I have read many reviews by people currently living in France who scoff at the thesis of this book; for example:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bhakti-shringarpure/on-exotic-parenting_b_1707682.html
"A country with rising obesity levels, France is second to the U.S. in consumption of McDonalds fast food (quite a feat given how much tinier France is in comparison to the U.S.). Recent statistics show that the French consume an average of 65 sandwiches per second!"
I have one child who eats everything and one who hates everything (but still eats small amounts of everything while complaining). The latter is sensitive to many things (sounds, textures, tags on clothes) so we try to respect that there are some foods he doesn't like cooked or seasoned certain ways. But we also ask him to eat a small serving to be polite to the cook - when they were small we called it a "thank you bite" and asked them to eat as many "bites" as they were old. Some things he now thinks are OK but there are still many things he still doesn't like but will continue to eat small servings.
eileen says
"LIKE"
eileen says
I put a little bit on their plate every time, even if I know they aren't going to touch it. If it's something new I make them at least try it. Now I think my son is becoming picky just for the sake of being picky, but I don't budge on that one. One day he likes chicken the next day he doesn't?? I have friends who make completely separate meals for their children at dinner, now that's just too much!
Kala says
I like on facebook!
Kala says
I don't have many tips as we struggle with a very picky eater. I do try to 'sneak' in healthy food into our main dishes though
julie says
Well...I'm just starting - my daughter is one, but I HOPE (!) this tip works...start from the beginning! I make all her food - REAL food and hope that she learns to love the real stuff since she hasn't had the rest!
Dena says
Taking the time to grow, prepare and enjoy our food is taken very seriously in our house. Mealtimes are just as important as getting to school on time and making it to a playground. I think this has helped our kids become pretty good eaters who appreciate food. When we were playing at a friend's a couple hours before dinner the other day and my son was offered some m&m's, he sweetly replied, "no thanks-it's close to my dinner". I was shocked (and proud) of his response. my tip: make time for real food; make it a priority.
Denise Mitchell says
Like:)
Denise Mitchell says
Like another reader, I put a lot of things like kale, spinach, etc. in smoothies. I also make sure they at least try all the food during a meal. If they legitimately don't like it, I usually offer enough items during a meal, they can choose another healthy choice.
Kristin says
My kids are enthralled with what the big kids/neighbors &friends do. So I am planning a big "taste test" so my 6 and 4 yr old can see their buddies eat. Peer pressure can be a good thing! Also, I told a white lie, and told my 4 yr old that he used to LOVE grapes, ate them all the time and that they tasted like gummy bears. He loved them...before that conversation, he refused to even try them.
sarahbeth says
One idea that has worked for me is to try the same food a different way. For example, my daughter doesn't like peas with butter but she will eat peas with a little cheese.
Afaithfullheart says
Like
Jennifer says
My tip is that our kids HAVE to at least "try" whatever we are eating! So for instance, if we are eating a squash, broccoli & zucchini medley, I will put a very little bit on their plate and they have to eat it. While they are eating it, my husband and I talk about how good it tastes and how healthy it is for us, etc... There is NO CHOICE, they have to at least try a bite-size serving!! It works every time because just like the French believe, we are the parents and WE ARE IN CHARGE:)!! Also, the book entitled, "Bringing up Bebe." is a great read. It is written by an American woman who lives with her husband in Paris. She had a baby while in Paris and the book is about the differences she observed between American Parenting and French Parenting. I found it fascinating and along the same genre as this book!
Gretchen says
Like
Afaithfullheart says
I give my kids what I eat and don't make them a special meal. If they see me eating it then they are more likely to try the food.
Gretchen says
I don't have super picky eaters, but when they are reluctant to try a food we will show them that mommy and daddy have the same food on their plates and that we are all eating it together. They usually like to do the same thing as the big people.
Amanda says
Liked
Amanda says
I like to add veggies to spaghetti sauce, easy way to sneak veggies in to a meal.
Kristy says
Truthfully my best tip is just to keep trying. It takes time for chidlren's (and adult's) tastes to change. One year ago, I stopped making kiddie dinners and started only offering one real food dish for dinner. There were nights they choose not to eat much. But it slowly changes and gets better and better. Tonight we had a fresh stir-fry with garlic and ginger and my 7 year old and 4 year old cleaned their plates!! Broccoli, bok choy, mushrooms, red & green peppers, onions, baby corns---they ate it all!
It works. Hang in there. Stick with it. It's worth it.
Miriam says
liked!