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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Meg says
Hey Lisa - congrats on the blog! I can't believe how it has grown (oh wait, yes I can). I just wanted to make a general comment that sort of covers most of the points above. Generally, when it comes to food, the French culture is a wonderful example to follow. But, America is just different in so many ways. Food-wise, but also work wise, life wise, school wise, etc. It would be impossible to adopt the French view of food without also adopting the French view of life. So, while I think some of these tips are wonderful (particularly the point about not using food as a reward, bribe, etc, which I do a lot and have seen the detriments), some of them are just impossible in most American homes. I know you know this, but I'm just reiterating. :)
Meisha says
I always bring something new to a party and have everyone try it before I tell them what is in it.
Kara says
I "like" your page on Facebook, as well.
Kara says
I could benefit from the tips in this book. My almost 4 year old will pitch a huge fit over even trying a "no, thank you" bite. As long as I serve fruit also, I know she will eat something on her plate, though. Meanwhile, my almost 2 year old eats everything we put in front of her. Who knows?
Allie says
growing veggies in our own home garden encourages my son to eat a variety of foods he may not otherwise
Trish says
Letting them help prepare the meal gives them "ownership" and they're more likely to be willing to try it. When all else fails, we ask for a "thank you bite" just to show their gratitude for the meal prepared for them.
Jami says
Like
Jami says
We all eat together...the SAME thing. They don't have to like it but they have to try it. We traveled the world in our kitchen one week and made all new things every night! I was surprised at what all they liked! We are doing that again!
Monika says
When it comes to my son and vegetables, I give him the choice between two veggies; the one that we are having with dinner or a pre-cut one like carrots I've got in the fridge. He's more likely to eat them since it was his choice.
Michelle Diamond says
My kids (6 and 7) are not perfect eaters but they have no desire to eat french fries, restaurant mac-n-cheese, chicken nuggets, etc (not because I've lectured them but because they know it's not as tasty as 'real' food). I'm so thankful but it can make travel difficult. After a summer of field trips to AMUSEMENT PARKS and BASEBALL GAMES where there is LITTLE 'REAL' FOOD and they don't allow you to bring food in, I'm frustrated. There must be more ways we can voice our concerns - it's just plain wrong.
Alaine says
I have a 19 month old and a 3 year old, both used to eat everything and have gotten more picky as they get deeper into toddlerhood. Our "strategy:" I try to have 2 kinds of fruits/veggies at each meal and a variety of things prepared different ways so they are always trying something new. I also wait to tell them what is in everything until after they taste it & decide if they like it or not - that seems to help dissuade "tomatoes? I don't like those so I won't try it" comments. Our rule is everyone has to try 1 bite of everything without spitting it out - we offer water or milk to "wash it down." Occasionally we offer surprise treats at random so they don't know when they are coming - intermittent rewards for eating well/trying everything on their plates. One other thing that helps our children try more is they help me prepare meals - they especially like measuring, dumping/pouring, and stirring (of course away from the stove and no sharp objects involved in their helper jobs). Our kitchen gets kind of messy, but I also involve them in the clean up process - they especially like to help load the dishwasher (& push the buttons when it is full!). I've certainly learned a lot from reading this blog, too! Thanks as always for your great information, Lisa!
Rose says
My word - I must be a mean Mommy! My childrens' like or dislike is not one of the criteria we use to choose my menu for the week. If it were, I have a feeling we'd be eating the kiddie menu described in one of the above posts.
Since when do adults let the kids decide? Would you also let them choose their school curriculum? where you live? what you do for a living?
We don't ask our children for their opinion in these type of logistic matters. Plain and simple as that.
Kim says
Like a lot :)
Kristin Martin says
Like!
Kristin Martin says
Just persistence. We give mad props every time my 7yo son tries something new. Every day we talk about healthy eating and why it's important. It's not an immediate change, but slowly I see the values seeping in.
Kim says
With three kids who are now older, we naturally have three different palates. I cook multiple veggies in addition to the main course (even if that is a veggie option) and make sure there is at least one item each person likes. That way they can fill up on the preferred food & have small portions (or none) of the less preferred. And they are ALL healthy real food options. Easier for me than insisting on "must try" items.
Heather says
"Like"
Heather says
So far I don't have a picky eater - my 13 month old will eat anything!
Andrea says
My picky eater tip - for new babies - don't give baby food. Even homemade. Wait until they are ready to try your food, cut up very small. My girls started this way at about 8 months and will eat nearly anything we give them. My boys were given baby food and are much pickier than their sisters. Also, for older kids, we abide by rule #6 above.
Julie says
I try to include them in the menu planning for our dinners. That way they each have something that they will like. If they ask for nuggets or pizza, the meals are made from scratch (dough included) and made of whole foods. The other "trick" i started a long time ago was to have them serve themselves by putting the dishes on the table. I also add cut fresh veggies to help themselves to. Dessert at our house is yogurt with fresh fruit. We try to limit the treats at home as they get them everywhere else.
Emily says
We always encourage our girls to try at least two bites of a new food or a food that they think is "icky". Most of the time they end up loving it. :)
Carrie says
We use the "you have to try at least one bite" routine for when they don't want something they have never eaten before.
Cara says
My duaghter is 18 months old and REALLY picky, just like her mom was! I have found that the best approach is to not force food on her but to give her a variety of foods at each meal (meat, vegetable, carb) and let her eat what she chooses. If I push a certain food it is destined to end up in the dogs mouth (who is always waiting paitently under my daughters chair).
Mandi says
My tip: if you are starting with a baby, give them mostly vegis and fruit. Add lots of variety and no sweets or highly processed food. Babys and toddlers need basics. Skip the toddler snacks, rice cereal, ect. These products are good only for the companies bottom line, not your baby. They can eat what you eat and you can save on baby food. They can gum it up too, do don't feel it nessisary to purée everything. Teeny chucks appeal to babies 6-7 months+ and give them a sense of independence. Case in point, my daughter is 12 months and just got her first tooth. We started solids when she could pick it up herself 7 months or so.
Tammy says
"like"
Tammy says
My youngest has a nut allergy which limits his food options, and he's a picky eater on top of that. Dinner is served, and he is required to at least try it and in some cases eat a serving. He has gone to bed hungry a lot!
Jen says
The rule in our house is that my picky eater must take a "no thank you" bite of food items he thinks he doesn't like. It has taken a while, but he is finally starting to eat more types of food.
Amy S says
LIKE!
Amy S says
I just put the food on the plate and tell me daughter to eat what she likes. Occasionally she will try a food she says she doesn't like to eat.
Adele says
Thank you!! Thank you!! Thank you for everything you share!! :)
Dana says
I hope I won't have a picky eater! So far my 10 month old will eat almost anything i give him, sautéed spinach, quinoa, pinto beans etc! I hope we can keep it up!
Jen DeSantis says
honestly - the easiest thing to do turned out to be the best. we set all of the cooked, healthy food out on the dining room table, and everyone takes turn spooning onto their own plate. letting him pick his own food and spoon onto his plate like everyone else in the family gave him a sense of ownership. now he may not eat ALL of that pretty broccoli, but he tries a few pieces and that's enough for me!
Cindi Moore says
Liked!
Cindi Moore says
We absolutely cut off the snacking an hour or two before dinner, and only healthy snacks - Looks like a great book!
Jamie says
Like
Jamie says
I tell my kids that they need to at least try one bite of everything and they usually like it.
Kelli says
Like
Kelli says
Keep offering fruits and vegetables - over and over again!
Ragdollpirate says
like
Ragdollpirate says
When I was a kid this is how my mom was with my brother and me. That being said it is how I took to caring for two children that I was raising. They were so picky I wanted to pull my hair out so many times because to me chicken nuggets and frozen pizza were not an all the time meal but, something you had every once in awhile. This lead me to call my mom and ask her what to do because I was at my wits end with the kids and she gave me the only advice that worked. She said "Tell them to try two bites of everything you serve. They have to try it in order to get something else." I told the kids this and the first day they told me "I am not hungry anymore can I go play" I told them fine wrapped the food up and placed it in the fridge. When they asked for food I brought out the plate again and said "This is what we are having you have to try two bites.Before I will even consider making you something else." The kids at this point had only eaten breakfast at 7am and it was now 5pm and seeing that I was not budging on them trying the food gave into me and tried it and loved it and after they finished their plate said they were still hungry and so, they had what I made me for dinner with no complaints about trying it. The boy didn't like the peas I had made but, liked everything else and the girl didn't like the meat but, liked everything else and when they said they were still hungry I allowed them to go to the kitchen and pick out whatever they wanted to eat because they had eaten what I had made and there was nothing left for them to eat of that. After that day there were a few arguments but, they knew if they really didn't like something I was not going to force them to eat it and that I was not going to let them go hungry.