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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Jessica Owens says
Only having one new food to try at mealtimes, along w something I know my picky eater will eat happily helps!
Sarah says
Cook the same food a different way. Broccoli tastes very different when roasted vs. boiled until mushy. Sweet potatoes as chips can set a great first impression for when you introduce it later as baked or steamed.
Shanna says
Like
Shanna says
Allowing my kids to help me shop and cook makes them enjoy the whole experience and I find myself fighting much less with them at the dinner table.
Stephanie says
"Liked" on Facebook.
Stephanie says
Repeated exposure and a rule that you have to eat at least one bite of everything.
Julia says
Letting my kids help cook has helped them to try foods they would not normally try.
Melissa says
Picky eaters are the bane of my life! I think persistance and a three bite rule help us. Doesn't always work and sometimes it takes forever to get those 3 bites in but it does seem to help.
kat mallon says
We are now making just one meal for dinner - really helps simplify dinner time. thanks for a great blog!
Paulina J! says
My mom cooked fresh food every day! I looked forward coming home from school to have dinner with my family. We only ate fast food once a year(!!!) and it was considered a special treat in the summer.
Mallory says
I am of the "try one bite" school too! But I think repeated exposure is important. I will ask my kids to try one bite every time I make something.
Elizabeth says
Like you on Facebook!
Elizabeth says
My biggest tip is just as the book says, kids eat what parents eat. We don't fix special meals for little ones if they don't like what we're having.
Steacy says
I already like you on Facebook...actually, LOVE you!! Thanks for all the amazing info and tips.
Steacy says
I just keep giving them the foods the dislike, and eventually they come around. It takes a LONNNNG time to get there though!
Nadine Ursuliak says
Get them involved; let them help plant and tend to the veggie garden, get them to help out with baking and use the grocery store as a "classroom".
Ashley says
We have worked with our picky eater so much, and the thing that works the best is not pressuring him. The more you insist that they eat something, the harder they will push not to.
Sommer says
Liked you on facebook!
Megan says
We do the you have to try one bite. A lot of times my kids will say they don't like it before they've even tasted it so I let them know that first you have to try a bite to see if you like it.
Sommer says
If one of our kids say they don't want what I've made for breakfast, lunch, or supper/dinner, or if they eat less than half, they are allowed to leave the table but not allowed anything to eat until the next meal. We don't allow snacks within the hour before a meal, unless it is a small amount of fruit or a vegetable (and then I consider it to be part of that meal and plan accordingly).
catherine c. says
I don't think my parents really gave me a chance to be a picky eater. They always said that I didn't have to like it, but I had to try it. Even when I thought I didn't like something, if we were in a new place, it was "different" and I should try it. They weren't big on over-exaggerated displays from us when we didn't like something either, so that also made us not go overboard on not liking something (young kids like to do this to get attention). Plus putting things that the kids "don't like" into something so they won't be able to really tell and then telling them later after they liked dinner also helped made us change our minds about a particular food (like diced veggies in meatloaf).
catherine c. says
like!
Dawn L says
Like
Dawn L says
Allowing them to help choose meals and prepare them helps...sometimes
Jaclyn Ley says
like
Jody says
Definitely no pressure. When I try to pressure my kids to eat something it always backfires. We encourage trying foods and when they try and don't like something it is not a big deal, maybe they will like it next time.
Jaclyn Ley says
I think the thing that has helped me the most is our garden. Growing our food helps my son get excited about trying new things. At the store I talk to him about ingredients. When he asks me for something processed I point out the ingredients that are not healthy and use that to explain why I won't buy it. If we are at a party I will let him have the processed food but he knows that it is not something we buy and that it is not something we should be eating, especially on a daily basis.
Laura R says
like!
Mary Beth says
LIKE
jennifer says
I use the one bite trick with new foods - the rule is that you must try the food. Each time I make that particular item they much eat a little more - first time it's a bite, second it's one of the item and then so, on. My Husband was forced to sit at the dinner table until bed time if he didn't finish his dinner - he is very, very picky to this day. Our kids eat a lot more variety than he will. My kids now eat cooked carrots without complaining and my daughter like zucchini now too! Love the blog!
Mary Beth says
Always looking for encouragement in this area. Agree with you about junk food in schools.
Kerry says
Liked :o)
Angie says
My 6yo and 4yo boys are loving the idea of growing their muscles ... we flex our biceps all the time : Recently they have been asking if certain foods will help their muscles grow...which has snowballed into great conversations about vitamins and healthy vs junk foods. So now they want to know what is junk food and what is healthy. They have quickly made the positive association with fruits and vegetables (and of course the negative with junk foods), and we are working our way down other foods!!
Kerry says
I have seen very good results when kids and parents are trying new things together; working together at the store to pick something new, prepping together and fixing it with something they like, then the whole family having a tasting together. Sticker charts for the kids that try new, and new things multiple times, work well too.
Cynthia says
I liked your Facebook page.
JP says
Like
Cynthia says
I bury veggies in baked goods and sauces like tomato sauce.
JP says
I agree with the 'no short order cook' rule. The kids (and adults) eat what the same meal. No one gets something special just for them. To that end, the kids never hear the adults say that they don't like something. We may absolutely hate something, but we never tell the kids that.
jennifer b says
Liked
jennifer b says
No pressure - lots of exposure and let them cook.