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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Tammy D says
I have always had picky eaters. We have always had the rule that you have to try one bite of everything that is on the table. If it is a veggie or main dish then you have to have eat the number of bites that you are years old; ex. the 4yo eats 4 bites. This works well until they reach the 8-10year stage. My experience says just keep giving it to them, it takes multiple times before they will accept it as okay food and many more before they will grow to like it.
Sometimes now that they are older we get really excited when I bring out a new food (that acting excitement "I don't know if I have enough you guys are going to love this", "Oh this is the best thing yet...") it really helps. Also, letting them help to prepare the food gives them buy-in and they already like it better.
Stephany N says
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Stephany N says
Our rule at home is that our children need to give food a chance, which means that if you have not tried it you cannot say that you don't like it. It's worked very well with our 5 year old.
Amanda says
I keep foods on hand that are healthy and I try to make crackers, cookies and other snacks myself.
Emily O says
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Emily O says
I've found choices help! Obviously I only offer whole, healthy choices, but it helps when the child decides broccoli vs carrots.
Melissa Graham says
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Melissa Graham says
For my picky eater I sometimes play a guessing game at meal time. I will have her close her eyes and I give her a bite of food. She then guesses what the food is. This helps me get a bite of everything on her plate to her, she can then decide to eat more of it or leave it with just one bite.
Sera says
keep offering it to them - can even switch things up by fixing it differently
maria says
I have no advice or tips! Our girls are grat eaters.....nothing has worked for our son!! Love reading these suggestions!
maria says
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Jill says
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Jill says
When my kids went through a picky phase we kept lots of napkins at the table. They had to try everything, and if a certain food was just too "gross" they were allowed to spit it into a napkin after they chewed it. Knowing they could spit it out took the pressure off and trained their tastebuds. It wasn't long before they were eating the things they used to spit into napkins. Except peppers. They still wont eat peppers.
nicole says
I liked your page on facebook
nicole says
My picky eater has to at least try the food before saying he doesn't like it. And we also do not let him drink milk or juice during supper because he fills up on that then and won't eat.
Jen says
I ask my 2 picky eaters to at least try the food. My daughter will try and sometimes like, but I'm still working on getting my 3 year old to even try it without spitting it out - frustrating! I also have 2 that will eat almost anything and it helps to say how big brothers like it, but many times not enough to get 3 year old to try.
Randi says
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Randi says
Mine isn't a novel idea. I make my 4-year-old taste everything and I like to let her pick out food at the grocery store.
Cecilia says
I've just started telling my picky eater the mantra "you don't have to like it, but you do have to taste it" and at least now he's experiencing new tastes; whether he likes it or not!
Dianne says
My kids love smoothies and we live in sunny CA where we have an abundance of fresh fruit and local farmers markets. I put all sorts of veggies in their smoothies and the kids still love them mixed with all different fruits. Now they are creating their own concoctions! I can also get them to eat clams, octopus and zucchini if I put it in a soup base. It also helps to let the kids have their own veggie garden. They get excited about their own veggies.
sharon c says
2 things : eat veggies first for my daughter, and also we grew vegetables this summer and that helped
Brooke Pillow says
LiKe
Christina says
I have 2 picky eaters. They are not opposed to healthy food. Just food in general. I just keep presenting the food and let them know how much I am enjoying the food. I was shocked the other night when my daughter took a second helping of green beans. (We always make them take a "no thank you" helping) I had been raving about how they were the best green beans I had ever made so maybe it finally worked. I didn't make a big deal of her taking more, but I had the biggest smile on my face that I have had in a while.
Brooke Pillow says
My kids really respond well to "food and health education". If I explain to them why something is unhealthy for their bodies or vice versa, tell them why something is healthy for them, that makes them more likely to try it and like it. They are always asking me "Is this or that healthy?". Give them the power by educating them. Also, by offering choices for school lunches or snacks, they seem to respond better because they feel they have some "power and control" in deciding what they eat. I agree with Lisa in the philosophy that our children shouldn't be eating certain things just because mom and dad say so. They need to understand and know what they are eating and why so that they can make educated choices on their own.
Jennifer Scogin says
My husband and I are vegetarians (for over 15 years). When my son was born, like any first time mom, I said, "my kid will never be a picky eater if I make his own baby food, always feed him fresh vegetables, etc." Well, I thought I was right for a while, he loved all vegetables, ate whatever we put in front of him. Then he turned 2 and all fruits and vegetables were all of a sudden yucky! Anyway, I vowed to nip this in the bud and really started focusing on getting him to find veggies as yummy, hiding them in things he likes as a puree. I found the book the very hungry caterpillar helpful because he would always want to skip ahead to the page with all the "bad foods" and he would pretend eat it all. I decided to use it as a teaching tool and say before he could pretend eat the "bad"food, he had to pretend eat the pages before with all the fruit. And then pointed out that when caterpillar ate all the bad foods his tummy hurt and had to eat green leafy veggies to make his tummy feel better. Now he brings the book and says, "I eat all the fruits first!" After he pretend eats the "bad" food page and pretends to have a tummy ache and then says, "I need eat green leaves". Since I started "educating" him, he is more and more at least trying vegetables. Last night he ate 2 servings of "green wheels", fresh roasted okra.
jennybookworm says
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jennybookworm says
My best tip is to agree with the you don't have to eat it but you DO have to taste it rule. I also don't mind adjusting a meal slightly into components for kids who don't like certain things - for example, my youngest doesn't enjoy omelets, she likes hard boiled eggs and devilled eggs but not hot eggs so she gets the filling and cheese and her salad on the side but I don't give her a full serving of egg - she does get her bite to try though!
Marie says
This describes us to a T! We have such happy mealtimes because our kids have never had any choices, now age 4 and 2. When they are given choices at church, they never choose soda, they choose water. They eat what they are given and they give God thanks that we have food to eat. We don't eat fast food. They don't eat candy or sweets (almost ever), that is for special occasions/holidays. We must be french! When other kids get candy around them and they can't have any, they don't whine or complain because we have trained them about it at home. We homeschool so that they are not indoctrinated by the ridiculous food pyramid (oh thank you government for misleading the public and causing disease for years in an issue you have no business in). They also have never been told they come from monkeys, which really does something for their self-esteem. But back to food, people are amazed when they see kids like this-- all because we don't treat them like they are the center of the universe-- just a contributing member of our family who will become a healthy contributor to society. {Truth be told, the French aren't progressive, just traditional as this is the way almost EVERYONE functioned just 75 years ago and for all the thousands of years before that. Our grandparents and great grandparents knew all this.}
Dawn says
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kelly says
Food always tastes better off mom and dad's plate so lead by example.
Dawn says
I just keep offering good foods. Eventually they are used to seeing them and stop complaining, and eventually they are hungry enough to try them, and THEN, eventually, they realize the food isnt so bad, and once in a while they proclaim they actually like it!
Pam@behealthybehappywellness says
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Pam@behealthybehappywellness says
My best picky eater tip is consistency - keep trying. Took my son at least twenty times of trying one bite of spinach to decide he liked it, now he'll happily gobble it up (especially on pizza).
Mandy P says
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Mandy P says
To get them to eat vegetables I give them more than one for most dinners. I also ask them would they like carrots or green beans (so that they have to pick at least one).
Erin B says
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Erin B says
Make homemade versions of processed foods they like. My kids liked frozen fishsticks but didn't like fish. So we made homemade fishsticks.
Nicole says
Like! :)
Nicole says
My 23 month old is very picky and lives on Annie's Mac and Cheese. I make a puree of steamed sweet potato and carrot (looks like orange cheese) and use a little of the cheese sauce and the rest if veggie puree! He has no idea and it tastes great!
Jessica O says
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