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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Kym says
Have tried so many tactics. Still looking for the perfect solution to get our boy to eat any vegestables.
Samantha says
"like" :)
Christine says
I have a picky 3 year old and picky husband. I finely chop and purée a lot. The magic bullet and pampered chef's chopper are amazing. Also I'll have my three year old pretend she's a dog, penguin, lion.... And usually she eats it.
Crystal says
Liked
Lana says
I try to give my daughter only meals that are homemade, and when we go out to eat we do not order off the kids menu. We either get some things to share for the table, or I will order her something off the adult menu, or a couple sides to make a meal.
Samantha says
When my son declares he doesn't like something, I just make a point to serve it more and/or eat it in front of him. I don't make him eat it of course, but he does eventually try it again and usually with good results. This even worked with cauliflower! (which he claims is his favorite now :P)
Crystal says
I have always had a rule with my 11 year old and 5 year old daughters, you don't have to like it BUT you do have to try it, when they try it, it is the amount of bites as they are old (ie..5 bites for my 5 year old). With snacks I always have them ask themselves is this a "healthy" snack.
Camille Gerbyshak says
Like
Camille Gerbyshak says
My best picky eater hint is start from the get go with children, children exposed to all kinds of food from young on tend to be better eaters! It drives me nuts when people talk about sneaking vegetables into things, because I ate vegetables, whole grains, etc from young on it never was a big deal!
Ellen says
My picky eater tip is borrowed from a friend. I'm very fortunate to have not very fussy eaters, either by design or example, but I've always agreed with the rule of trying something before deciding whether you like it or not. My friend requires her boys to take three "no thank you" bites before they can decide if they do or don't want to eat something. If they agree to eat three bites, then they are welcome to say "no thank you" to that food...at least for that mealtime.
Kelly R says
I let mine help make dinner when I can and she gets to taste as we go so she can get a glimpse of what dinner is going to be. I also come up with fun names for things like beans are called the musical fruit in our house.
joe says
Make them taste everything!
Angie says
I "Like" you!
Monica says
Like
Kirsten says
Like!
Erin S. says
Liked!
Angie says
A picky eater tip: Don't give them option out of eating the meal. If they are hungry tell them that is what they can eat and stick to that rule.
Erin S. says
Getting fresh fruits and veggies from the garden we planted ourselves this year really helped with our daughter eating veggies. If she picked it, she was excited to eat it!
Tiffany says
I "like" and follow 100 days on facebook!!
Luann W says
Like!
Kirsten says
My best picky eater tip is to involve the kids in the meal planning for their breakfast and lunch. I'll give them a few options and they can pick from that list. It's foods that I want them to eat anyway, and giving them some choice helps them feel like they have a say.
Luann W says
I puree a lot of veggies in our homemade smoothies and sauces! He never knows the difference!
Joy says
Picky eaters often need to be exposed to a food many times before they actually want to try it. However, for my picky eaters need for these exposures to be very close together. For example, we had sliced cucumbers with every lunch and dinner for about two weeks before they both decided they were an ok food. For them seeing the food onece a week or so doesn't work.
Monica says
For our daughter, sometimes it's not what she's eating, she just needs motivation to eat in general. In those cases, some crayons and a coloring book are all it takes to get the food in.
Beth says
like
Katie says
For my picky eater it helps if she has a tasting portion rather than a regular portion. It removes a lot stress.
Beth says
I agree with the lead by example- when I was a nanny, that was the best thing I could do to get the kids to eat healthy food, especially when choosing snacks! We would eat fruit together, instead of fruit snacks, etc.
Also, it's important to frame the food as good. Don't make a big production out of the veggies you want your kid to eat, just FEED THEM! Kids won't think certain foods are gross as long as the parent doesn't frame it that way.
Darcie says
I couldn't agree more!
Anita Eggleton says
like
Livinglessmom says
My picky eater tip is that my kids must learn to take a "no thank you bite" of something they don't care for. They must learn to at least eat a little of something and be polite without making a big fuss. And then just keep encouraging kids to try and retry foods!
Anita Eggleton says
My 3 girls are not very picky, I'm lucky :) I remind my 5 year old she has to try everything.
Tiffany says
Puree, puree puree -
Also, invest in a chopper, if it's small they can't pick it out lol
Jenny says
Have your children help grow and/or prepare the food and they are much more likely to want to eat it.
Livinglessmom says
I am a facebook fan!
Elle Fowler says
When it's lunch time and my daughter demands a cheese stick or fruit snacks, I tell her she may pick whatever she likes for Snack that afternoon. She can enjoy it later, but must be patient.
Megan says
Liked
Megan says
My best tip from our switch to real food was to refer foods as superhero and non-superhero foods. My son is currently completely obsessed with Spiderman, Superman, etc., and that was something he could understand at 4. Superhero foods make you strong, smart, and healthy :-).
Courtney M says
My best tip is start them young and feed what the adults are eating. We made our own baby food using fresh vegetables from our CSA. My toddler still enjoys beets, avocados, and other "non-kid foods". He loves to snack on snap pea crisps, and is a voracious fruit eater.
Monique says
I always try to add fruits and veggies to everything. I will put kale in their fruit smoothies. I will put fruit in their pancakes. I often add frozen veggies in with mac and cheese or other pasta meals.
Vaishali says
Try one bite rule always helps!
Tammy D says
liked - Love your site - fits right in with what we have been doing for years. I just get too busy to blog about it... Keep up the good work!