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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Emily says
If there is a food I find my daughters won't eat, I keep giving it to them but in different forms. For one of my daughters, if I give her hummus to dip it in I can get her to eat anything!
Paula Orr says
If there is anything on my son's plate that he says he does not like I always ask him to try it before deciding he doesn't like it. Most times he changes his mind about the item.
Tonya Mae says
I only had one child. She is 20 now. My rule was always eat what is on your plate. She had to at least try 3 bites of it. I was not a short order cook. ;)
Laura W says
Like!
Kendra says
When our (picky) son was a toddler, we naturally prepared his plate for him. But we continued this into preschool and started to deal with major meltdowns as soon as he arrived at the table and saw what he "had" to eat. When we started serving dinner "family style" and letting him prepare his own plate, it made all the difference! He still tries everything (and his plate doesn't look any different than when we prepared it for him), but I think he feels more in control of his choices and eating.
Laura W says
my daughter is only 8 months old and already picky. My only tip with my limited exp. is try a variety of healthy foods. She won't eat fruit but she will eat avocado, salmon, and zucchini!
Steph W says
Best thing I've done so far for my picky little eater (6yo) is to allow her to plan, shop and cook (w/ supervision) one meal a week. She loves flipping through her cookbooks and deciding on a whole meal that incorporates the nutritional guidelines I gave her. Her first dinner for us was blueberry soup, lemon green beans and hard boiled eggs: fruit, veg & protein! Having her be responsible for the whole process has really helped her appreciate what goes into preparing meals and she's become much better about not complaining about what's for dinner.
Laura says
We allow each kid 3 things on their †list†that they don't like, so don't have to eat. They couldn't change items daily, but could decide to replace items as they grew. This worked great for the 15 foster children that filtered through our home over the past 7 years. Gave the kids some control, but didn't make me a short-order cook.
Jaymie says
Like!
Rae Anne says
My daughter once went over 24-hours without eating because I refused to give in and make her a "different" meal than what I ate. She did it once and, now, takes at least "as many bites as she is years old plus one to grow" of anything new.
Alli says
Like on fb too!
jennifer carter says
Like!
Alli says
First of all I hide the "junk" and leave fresh fruit and veggies more visible for my 3 year old and even 1 year old! When they are truly hungry they enjoy picking out what they want and it is usually fruit or a piece of cheese or something I put in front of them!
Elizabeth L says
Like on fb :)
Alzbeta says
Like
Kristy says
Like on FB :)
Michelle Melhorn says
Like!
Elizabeth L says
"One bite to be polite" is one of our favorite sayings. We also take extra bites if you say "eww or gross" before even trying it. I'd love to win!
Alzbeta says
Mommy and Daddy have to try new things as well! Our daughter definitely watches our eating habits closely.
Steph says
"Like!"
Kristy says
When presenting a new food to my 2 picky eaters, I always "cushion" it with one of their favorite dishes (i.e. present a fave like homemade chicken fingers with a new veggie on the side)...the rule is they have to at least try it!
Jenn says
"Like"
Kelly says
LiKe
jennifer carter says
I let my daughter eat off my plate and I try to make sure it's something I won't regret she ate. She is now eating lots of fruits and veggies as a result!
Steph says
Serve a variety of vegetables (raw on a platter or roasted together in large chunks) so that there will be at least one a picky eater likes and they'll gain exposure to others.
Michelle Melhorn says
My picky eater is much more likely to try a new food if she helps cook!
Can't wait to read the book!
Jenn says
What sometimes works for our picky eaters is to not make up their plates but to put everything on the table and let them choose what foods and how much they take of it. This gets my 4 yr old eating a lot more. I guess the food being on his plate is to intimidating but this works for him!
Kelly says
Keep trying and making try 1 or 2 bites each time...by the 5, 6, 7, 12th time, the WILL like it and eat more than 2 bites.
Katie says
Like
Ashley says
"Liked" on FB, too.
Amy says
If my kids see something they don't like at the table they know they have to take a "no thank you" bite. Which is they can take one bite and then say no thank you.
Maria says
Like :)
dana says
Like on fb
Tracey Lutey says
My tip is to keep offering foods. They will eventually try them!
dana says
I give my kids 2 options even if they are 2 less preferred like veggies so they have to pick one.
Maria says
We used to call broccoli "trees". I'd say "look! Curious George is in the little tree!" and my son would gobble it up!
Shelley hudson says
Like
Sarah C. says
Like
Sarah C. says
I take my daughter to the market and let her pick out a new veggie/fruit to try. She ALWAYS eats it because she got to pick!
Katie says
We're lucky to have a son who relishes mostly everything he's offered. However, for those foods he doesn't take to right away, we've found persistence is key. We just offer the offending item every time we have it. For several things this has eventually worked.