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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Julie says
My best picky tip is just to not give up. They may not like it or even be willing to try it today, but 3 months or 6 months from now they may change their mind. It works! (Sometimes ;))
Cindy says
We try to give my daughter lots of positive praise when eating things like steamed vegetables. My husband will sometimes incorporate the food she's not crazy about into a song and dance. Works most of the time. Either way, she eats what's on her plate or not at all.
Erin says
Parents who are open minded about new foods help kids to be more open minded too!
Ellen says
My daughter is a very picky eater. If I am introducing a new food I try to make sure that only one item at the meal is new and that everything else are foods with which she is familiar and comfortable.
Tracy says
No kids yet, but I have friends that don't eat tomatoes! If it's a chunk/piece they won't eat it, if it's a sauce the. It's fine?!?!
Nancy A. says
I use the tried-and-true method of mixing in things the kids don't like in small, cut-up pieces so they don't really know what they are eating! I also like to let them help me with the choosing of recipes and cooking, and they are more likely to eat what we made if they had some choice in it.
Heidi says
Like!
Shana M. says
Like your FB posts.
Alyssa says
Like
Lindsay says
FB like!
Heidi says
Must try everything, it is okay not to like it!
Alyssa says
We do smoothies and add vegetables. And everyone has to at least try everything at a meal
Wendy May Hall says
I let and encourage my daughter to help me make dinner, if she helps make it, she's more willing to try it :)
Emily Richardson says
like
Lindsay says
Yep, patient persistence is key! One of the most important things I've learned in doing feeding therapy (I'm a speech therapist) with children who are extremely or even life-threateningly picky is that a child will not put a food in his (or her) mouth if he refuses to touch it with his hands. This is all the more reason to get children involved in the food preparation process - touching, smelling, mixing, and even playing with food will increase the child's familiarity with the food's smell and texture, which leads to a decrease in anxiety about the food and an increased willingness to try it.
Sarah says
Like on FB!
Beth says
We tell my daughter she has to try it because she might like it.
Emily Richardson says
I used to be a picky eater and some say i still am. it seems one thing that really helps me is not having that same food cooked the same way all the time. there are foods i never ate (and wouldn't consider) before i spent time abroad and had them in such a different way. now some of those foods are my favorite.
Ksenia says
"like"
Sarah says
If my daughter doesn't want her supper, I don't let her have a night snack until she eats all of her dinner.
Katie says
Like!!
Molly says
I get "real" with them and explain WHY something is a bad choice. Just today we talked about sodas and the caramel coloring being a known cancer causer.....and that led to a discussion on "what is cancer?" We also tell them if GOD made it, it's good to eat, but if MAN made it....usually not.
Ksenia says
If there is a dessert after a meal (or if there is juice) then the kids have to eat all of their food before partaking the treat. It's not because the treat is a reward, but because a small treat once in a while is ok as a part of a balanced diet. It is not ok if it's part of a "treat only" diet.
We also have the "try everything" rule. If my kids don't eat their meals then they do not get any food /snacks until the next meal. I hope to teach them that you eat at meal time and what is served or else go hungry.
Danielle says
Recognizing that kids don't have eating disorders, they won't starve themselves. So if your child chooses not to eat at any time, do not panic and give them fake food just so they eat something. When they are ready they will eat.
Jen B. says
LIKE!
Jen B. says
We have been trying a lot of new things lately as we have changed the way we eat. I have a couple rules depending on what we eat. If it seems like something they like then they have to eat everything on their plates or they don't get anything else the rest of the night. Or, if it is something I am pretty sure they won't like they have to at least try it. I've been pleasantly surprised that my kids have liked things when I did not expect them to like it. Can't wait to read this book!
Stacie says
Al
Jessica E. says
i always try to have something they love and i only give them a little bit of it. they may have more of the yummy whatever after at least trying everything else.
Katie says
Keep eating the foods we like. Example: artichokes. My husband and I like them, and I would only cook two of them. We would offer the kids a taste. Finally my oldest decided she liked them, and then I would cook three of them. Now my little kids like them, and I cook five of them. Sometimes just the repeated eating and enjoying of a "weird" food will convince the pickiest eater to give it a try!
Joelle says
"Like" :)
Stacie says
My picky eater is 11. She's been helping out with grocery shopping for a few years. Now, she's getting more hands on with the cooking. It seems the more opportunity she has to help make it the more willing to try it she is :)
Vivian Riddle says
Like
Joelle says
One of my biggest suggestions is that people get their kids eating what they are eating as soon as they are able to eat! While I made all of our baby food, I prepared a lot of veggies and froze the puree for lunches. But when it came time for supper, I would hand blend whatever we were having (she was eating curry at 8 months) and she ate that. Also, don't wait to long to start feeding solids! They aren't going to choke - it's just their natural way of learning how much to chew!!
alanna says
For my picky eater I always let him help me with some portion of the meal and then I congratulate him when it's ready on how great of a job he did preparing the food. He'll at least try it this way because he's bursting with pride over the meal he helped create.
Steph W says
Like
Tara says
My best picky eater tip is-smoothies! You can put so much good stuff in then that is "hidden" from your picky eater. Great way to get in a variety of fruits/veggies.
Vivian Riddle says
I was having a hard time getting my 7year old son to eat veggies like squash and zucinie. So we planted a small garden in our yard and once we started growing veggies he would help me pick them and cut them up for our meal. He now loves them. So getting them involved in preparing the food they are eager to eat it.
Paula Orr says
Like
Kimby says
If my daughter doesn't want to try something I ask her "do you think it will taste more like a tree or more like a flower?" "Do you think it will taste more like mermaid food or princess food?" "Do you think it will taste more like clouds or more like fairly dust?" after she says what she thinks, she tries it, then we talk about it, she tries more and analyzes it, then she ends up liking it:)
Shana M. says
You must try everyting. I include the girls in planning meals and somethimes let them help cook.