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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Steph says
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Ashley M. says
My best picky eater tip: Find alternatives! My kids know we don't purchase certain foods because they have "icky stuff" in them. So I've worked hard to find healthy (or at least healthier) alternatives that allow them to occasionally enjoy "kid food." Sometimes all this means is comparing brands and ingredients. For instance, I won't buy them name brand chocolate cereal. I do however on occasion buy them Mom's Best Naturals chocolate cereal (or Marshmallow cereal) because there are no artificial flavors, colors or preservatives. Same goes for pop-tarts. Once in a while I'll spring for the organic ones at our local health food store. Also, when hubby and I are preparing a meal that we know the kids won't eat (usually because it's spicy!) I will make them the same thing we're having, just altered a bit for their less adventurous tastebuds. For example, we're having a spicy Thai chicken salad with rice for dinner tonight. So for them, I'll just set aside some plain chicken before I mix up ours!
Sara says
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Sara says
We talk about the nutrients in foods & what those nutrients do for the body. My 4 year old LOVES it & seeks out foods that help him "make blood," or "build germ fighters." And on wild & crazy nights we let him talk about fiber & how it helps him poop. Poop talk at the table is probably the best reward a small kid can ask for.
Steph says
The main rule we have in our home for our picky eaters is you have to at least try 1 bite of everything - no exceptions. Over time,they have learned to like new foods.
Erica Yost says
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Erica Yost says
I always make my kids try new foods more than once before they decide they don't like it.
Alyssa Amaral says
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Miranda says
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Julie says
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Whitney says
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Korin says
After living in France for a few months and reading Bringing Up Bebe, we try and stick to the eat at 8am, 12, 4pm snack, 7pm dinner. My picky eaters became much better eaters because they didn't snack all day.
Miranda says
My kids have to try everything that we eat. If it is something new and they don't like it, I will make them something else (small) to eat. If it's something they've eaten before and refuse to eat, then they don't get anything else.
Julie says
I always offer 2 different vegetables. My kids have to eat one serving of veggies - their choice which one. I have done this since they were little, so they know there is no negotiating when it comes to veggies!
Whitney says
Favorite tip for picky eaters: Don't be forceful. Don't make food a power play with your kids. You will only lose in the end.
Marissa says
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Becky says
I always have my kids try whatever it is they "think" they won't like and usually the say they don't like it the first time, but I continue to have them try it again the next time we eat it an usually they end up either liking it or tolerating it.
Danielle says
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Marissa says
My cousin's pre-school had a "No thank you" bite policy. You had to take a bite of everything on your plate (every time it was served). If you didn't like it, you simply said No thank you. It was great at not making an event about liking food, and taught some manners.
Jenny P says
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Danielle says
Now that my kids are older (4, 7, 9 and 11) they can offer suggestions as well as compare and contrast different dishes. For example, steamed broccoli is a common veggie at our house and very well received. So when I roasted it one night and heard a chorus of complaints we talked about it compared to other dishes. My kids love roasted brussels sprouts and roasted cauliflower, but for some reason prefer broccoli steamed. One daughter suggested less salt, but of course another daughter wanted more. And I've learned that any veggie is better than roasted asparagus, even the ones that cause gagging and eye rolling. So when they try something new and complain I always ask, "better than asparagus?" When the answer is yes they eat up without another complaint :)
Keri says
FB like!
Jenny P says
Best picky eater tip - cook together. Kids are so much braver when they've been a part of it. Even better - grow what you can together! My child can't get enough of the tomatoes we grew together.
Keri says
I follow the "You can't say you don't like it if you don't taste it" rule. It has led to my little ones eating lots of foods that they "didn't like".
SarahRS says
I reintroduce the same disliked foods over and over. Eventually there is a breakthrough. :)
Jessica says
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Gael Noel says
I blend up veggies and put them in sauces - am constantly introducing them to new foods but I do find it more difficult with my older kids!
Karen McAdams says
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Michelle Manweiler says
Introduce, introduce, and reintroduce! Also start them young. I think they learn to like what they are first given. If you do what is quick and easy when they are 1 and 2 that is what they end up liking and the reverse is true; start them on veggies and grains and then fruit and wait for special occasions for the other stuff!
Brandy says
I have never allowed myself to be a short order cook. When a meal is ready, we eat!! My heart sings when my kids ask for broccoli, Brussels sprouts or asparagus!!
Julie says
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michelle says
only have healthy items in the housed!
Jessica says
My lo is only 4 months old, so I have no first hand experience, but a friend of mine shared the trick she uses. She and her husband serve meals in stages. So, the vegetable is the first thing put on the table (when the kids are the hungriest), then comes the protein, etc. That way they eat at least some of each thing. If they ask for dessert, they can choose from a variety of fruit...my friend figures if they don't want fruit, they're not really still hungry.
Jacquelyn says
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Karen McAdams says
My son loves to help me stir things. The other day he helped me season sweet potato "fries" by stirring the seasonings & oil and helping me coat the sticks. He was so proud to have helped that when I put some on his plate at dinner he ate them up! So now I think I should have him help with all the simple veggie prep for dinner if it makes him want to eat what he makes.
Jacquelyn says
When my daughter tries something new and says she does not like that type of food we say " oh you do not like the way the food is prepared, maybe next time we will make it a different way". She always says okay and is more open to trying it again. We have many conversations about how things taste different depending on how hey are cooked. It is a concept she really gets and she just turned three.
Angela Pater says
I always have bread and butter and a raw veggie with homemade ranch on the table. The kids haft to taste a spoon/fork full of the meal before anything else is eaten. If they do not prefer the meal, then they can have one piece of bread and butter, and some veggies and ranch. No more eating after that until before bed snack.
We just started doing these rules this past year, and Ill tell ya...It has made a huge difference! The kids find out how much they do like the meals we make, and how much more full they feel when they eat the meal.
I'm looking forward to reading other parents tips! Thanks!
Cindy says
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klavdia says
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Marijke Tromp says
When eating a vegetable my daughter is not very fond of such as green beans we each put one on our fork and then "Cheers" each other in celebration. She loves feeling in control of the situation and making vegetable toasts now.