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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
liz says
My tip for picky eaters is sit down and eat what they are eating with them. It sets a good example and food always tastes better with company :)
Mindy Richter says
My son is a very picky eater. It is especially hard to get him to eat any sauce, dressing, or meat. We have made it a rule that he must eat 3 - 6 bites of whatever he doesn't like before he can have dessert or participate in a fun activity that night. Because it is such a small amount, he usually will eat it, but it has lead him to finally enjoy a hamburger, artichokes, etc.
Aubrey says
LIKE!
Aubrey says
I have three very picky eaters, but one is especially difficult...with autism. He has many food aversions and sensory issues, so meal time has always been difficult. I used to make him a separate meal, but it became too time consuming and wasn't helping him make any progress. Now, I make one meal for our whole family, but he has to eat at least half of each food item on his plate so that he is experiencing new and healthy foods continually. Then, once he's eaten at least half, he can eat the rest of the food on his plate for a *healthy* dessert, or choose a different "preferred" food to fill up on...he usually eats it all!
Stephanie says
I probably don't have anything new to add, being coment #2286 or so. :) But at our house we are big on the "one bite rule": you may think you don't like it, but you have to at least taste it. If you don't like it after that first bite, you get a pass for that meal; but we are sure to re-introduce it at another meal, and the same rule applies.
We're also working on limiting snacks after school, but an important part of making that work is moving up dinnertime -- which is not easy to do as a working mom! So meal planning, and choosing meals that can be prepped on the weekend and easily and quickly put on the table on a weeknight is key.
Jane says
My best picky eater tip is to make sure my kids are hungry when the meal is served. If they are hungry I find they are more likely to eat whatever it is that I have made.
Courtney says
Like =)
Denise Moser says
The few things my husband and son are picky about, I am usually able to get around by mixing in with the other items of the meal. An example is zucchini. I made some sauteed zucchini with meatloaf the other day and I know neither of the boys will like it so I added shredded zucchini into the meatloaf and didn't get any complaints.
Sarah says
I'm a Facebook fan! Like!
Courtney says
Mix food they may be reluctant to eat into food they already like. Examples - Kale in a fruit smoothie. Carrots in chili or spaghetti sauce, zucchini and carrots in bread, veggies in soups, etc.
Melissa says
I have a very picky eater. I have found introducing foods in fun ways - faces made out of veggies, eat with a plastic cocktail sword etc. often helps.
Melissa says
like! I'm a facebook fan.
Jennifer says
Like! I'm a facebook fan too!
Amy Hansen says
Like
Jill Bundschuh says
I also involve my children in food prep and cooking!
Amy Hansen says
My three year Old is picky. He gets the same food as all of us and the stuff he won't eat, he must eat 3 bites of at least (bc he's three!). He actually goes for this!!
Julie says
I have a picky eater, and I'm at a loss. I wish I had some good tips to share.
Maria says
I also follow you on fb.
Jennifer says
My daughter loves to pretend she just walked into a fancy restaurant (she calls it Restaurant de Melon!) and I tell her in a fancy voice what the supper special is and she orders her drink. Then I bring it out on a fancy plate or I separate it into appy/main course/desert etc. She has so much fun pretending that she forgets that she doesn't like the food I'm feeding her!!!
Jill Bundschuh says
I think of picky eating as a ladder or pyramid....tolerate being in the room with the item and eventually the table then the child's plate, next tolerate smelling, then tasting(I will allow my child to spit out at first), we work up to chewing then eating...hopefully;). I have a very picky eater!
Andrea says
I find my picky eater is more apt to eat veggies if he picks them out or he is involved in the making of the food
Kelli Duermeier says
Like!
Laurie Martinez says
I "like" you. :)
Kelli Duermeier says
Two bite rule at our house! It can sometimes take a few tries to get my girls to like something. Also, my girls are two years apart and the little one will mimic everything the older one does. We have another rule that if you don't like it, don't make a big fuss about it. Push it to the side of the plate an continue to eat.
Laurie Martinez says
I just found that continually offering the food they dislike works. My daughter didn't like carrots. I put it on her plate, just like everyone else when it was part of dinner, and eventually she liked them. Now carrots are one of her favorites!
Maria says
Our children really enjoy eating things they have grown themselves. If it is something we can start from seed it makes it even better. If it is something new that just shows up on their plate, you have to taste it, not like it, and you may politely say no thank you...a "no thank you" bite my cousin calls it.
Thanks for the opportunity to win a free book.
Keziah says
LIKE!
Mary says
My tip is to just give them what the family is eating, and require that they try everything. If they don't like it that's ok, try again and again. I have found that eventually they come around :-)
Kristen M. says
I don't have any earth shattering advice, but my philosophy is that meal time shouldn't be a battle. I encourage my 4 year old to try what's on her plate, but sometimes it's OK if she eats fruit for dinner.
Deborah says
Sometimes cutting food into interesting shapes or using cookie cutters or arranging food in a face on the plate helps with my picky eater... Plus, it's fun!
Katina says
My kids are usually good eaters. One time they wouldn't try blood orange, because of the name. On a 12x12 piece of paper I made a small caterpillar head. I cut circle body segments out of different colored pieces of paper. Everytime they tried a new food, we added that color body segment to the caterpillar. On the circle we would write what it was they tried and their reaction. They loved watching the caterpillar grow and looking for different colored foods to try from the produce section.
Erin says
Like! I'm a Facebook follower!
Keziah says
i have two sons. one is EXTREMELY picky. the other one will eat anything and happily try any food you offer. my eldest (the picky one) won't even try a new food so it is very frustrating sometimes. what i have found is that if he helps prepare dinner or helps pick out a new food from the store he is much more willing to eat it.
Heather Turnet says
I turn it into a game. For instance my 5 year old son was carrying around raw spinach the other day stomping around singing I'm a hungary herbavior as he ate the spinach leaves. This intern got my picky eater to fallow along with his brother. We also pretend some foods are something else. When trying new things I tell my 5 year old we have to do an important experiment and taste whatever food it might be, we then have to describe it in our food journal.
Jennifer says
At 2 my daughter stopped eating, she had been slowly disliking foods one at a time between 1 and 2. Now being raised in the 'old' way (old fashioned farmer parents) we mostly lived the rules. You ate what mom cooked, it was all home cooked, you ate at the dinner table, no distractions (unless Dad needed to see the weather on the news :)) and so on. My mom, being herself, said "Don't worry, she will eat when she gets hungry. So I waited, 3 weeks and NO FOOD later (all she would do was drink milk), everyone finally agreed something was wrong. After some medical tests and a few more sleepless days, we took her off dairy. After 1 week on soy/almond milk she started asking for food. It has taken almost a year, but with no dairy, and slowly introducing foods she will try almost anything, but still asks if it will make her sick. She was too young to know or be able to tell me that her stomach was hurting, so I counldn't fix it. Then I had a 2 year old with a very real fear of food that we have had to overcome. I guess after all this I just want to say, yes, the rules work, yes it is hard, but yes it is worth it. Cook together, Eat together, these are memories your kids will enjoy as they get older, and health lessons that will serve them well!
Aimee says
Make a chart of the foods they are not willing to eat and then once they tried it they get to critique and rate it! You can give a reward after say 10 foods? The reward can be they choose the dinner! Even if it's cereal!
Aimee says
I like this page! I am a Facebook fan!
BetsyD says
I like your page too!
BetsyD says
We had (and I use the past tense intentionally) a picky eater and tried a number of different approaches until we finally settled on this-- he had to take three bites of items (i.e. green beans)on his plate that he did not like. If he finished the majority of these items (or all), then he was given a "prize." Along with this, though, we used dinner time to talk about the healthy benefits of eating vegetables, meat, etc. and also explained the "heart" issues of being respectful and grateful for the food God gives us and that others prepared. The change was very gradual, but now at 8 he will at least try anything and eats just about everything. It has made such a difference for his health and understanding that we love him and care about him, but our home is not all about him and what he would like to eat.
Krista says
Like
Elisabeth says
I am a FB Fan!! LOVE YOUR WRITING and RECIPES!
sarah says
I like this page on facebook.