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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Sarae says
My girls are 5 and 2.... My little one is super picky and doesnt like anything. Especially since I have switched to "real food" My rule of thumb is not to make any special substitutions for her if she refuses to eat. I know she will not starve (LOL) and next time we eat she is hungry and is more likely to eat what ever I serve =)
Dawn says
I always enlist my childrens' help in the kitchen when preparing meals. With foods that might be met with resistance, I try to put emphasis on the child's creation of a "new" dish. Then they have ownership of the dish and encourage their siblings to eat it! This worked most recently when I was making an eggplant recipe. My youngest son helped me to prepare it and was very eager to try it himself when we sat down for dinner. My oldest son is nearly 13 and some of the things he has helped me make have become his "specialty".
Angel P says
I mix in vegetables very chopped up so they dont notice. I also have a child that will eat anything in his favorite sauce-so I add the sauce to things he wont normally eat!
Winona says
I'm also a facebook fan!
Winona says
I have a very “picky eater†here. I sometimes have him help me plan out meals, and we talk about compromise - for example, if he picks out a meat/method of preparation, I pick out the veggies and how they are done. Or I'll give him a couple of choices, and have him pick one of them. We also find Pinterest handy - I show him the pictures of food I've pinned and let him choose what "looks good". All within reason of course. In the end, I have final say.
Monica Howeth says
Involve babes with food shopping and get them excited about what you're buying...mine's too little to do this right now but this is how I helped my sister with her two picky boys. That and getting them to help with basics of cooking when they're little (salad spinner is an awesome tool for this) and they'll be proud of what you created together!
Bethany McAfee says
like
Tanya C. says
Like!
Bethany McAfee says
Tip that works for my 19 month old, present the food in a different fun way. If she does not eat it the first time, it often helps just to put it in a fun bowl or help her eat it with a fork!
Tanya C. says
Limiting snacks is a great tip!
lisa says
like. :D
B says
Like!
lisa says
since our son is only 8 months old, we're working on only introducing a variety of vegetables and fruits into his diet. and not allowing sugar or processed foods [much to the dismay of some of his grandparents and uncles.]
We're hoping to nip the problem as soon as possible.
B says
My picky tip is to just make them familiar with the foods. They have to try it multiple times - every time we eat it, they taste it. Different flavors, different cooking methods, different seasonings, brussels sprouts = baked, sauteed, steamed, mashed in with potatoes - every veggie gets multiple treatment. Frequently my picky eater will only eat foods in their 'raw' state - no sauces, no dips, no coating - just food. Finally! Finally! After six years avocado is now "Delicious!" They try a bite every single time, every single meal.
Michelle says
My picky kid really had me going for a while! I have learned to always put food he likes on the plate with food he thinks he doesn't like or that is new. First time I present it is just for him to see it and think about it. If he's in a good mood I ask him to taste it. Next time I make him take a bit. Next time a bit or 2 depending on previous reaction. And we go from there. Took me a year to get him to eat risotto but only 6 months for mashed potatoes. Long, slow process but it works.
F. Jenkins says
Starting early, introduce the foods you know to be the healthiest. Have available and offer what you want them to eat, in fun ways, (e.g. making scenes or faces out of food). If picky eaters are hungry, they will eat!
Meg says
"liked"
Kristy says
I've found that it helps to introduce new foods regularly to kids diets because sometimes they'll surprise you with what they like.
Meg says
I put a little bit of everything on their plates, even if I am pretty sure they won't eat it. Then, we just eat together. I really try to bite my tongue and not beg them to eat or try the food, it seems to encourage my 3 year old to say no when I ask her to eat. If we just sit and talk and have a meal together, sometimes they eat with out any trouble...other times they still eat nothing though:)
Elizabeth Hodge says
Like!
Elizabeth Hodge says
The "take one bite" rule. It has been surprising to my kids how many things they like if they will try just one bite!
Melanie Bradle says
like!
rachel rutt says
Like
Amy S says
like
Melanie Bradle says
I always offer raw veggies at dinner first. If they are really hungry they will eat them. If they fill up, then at least they are full of real food!
Aria Wornson says
I love the rule about snacking!!! My oldest doesnt understand the concept of being hungry. I try to explain that hunger can actually be good at times because it makes you appreciate the mrals when they are served. Looks to be a great book!
Amy S says
Have the child pick their own fruit or veggies out at the grocery store.
rachel rutt says
We always ask our picky eater to atleast take one bite. Most times he keeps eating it and turns out he actually likes it!Haha!
Nicki says
Like!
Carrie says
Here, when the children were small, the rule was that you had to try one bite of everything. Taste buds change, you might feel differently about it this time. You were allowed to spit it out, but you had to explain what it was you didn't like about it. Was it too tart? spicy? dry? chewy? crunchy? After that, very simple, basic options (cheese, bananas, apples, peanut butter, hardboiled egg, raisins, carrot sticks) that did not disrupt the meal were offered only if needed. At the end of the day, I just wanted my kids to learn a healthy diet at a harmonious table. I myself can’t imagine my tastes changing to embrace raw onions, or boiled chicken breasts, so I do respect that some tastes are never going to be acquired.
Colleen says
A few of our favorites:
1. My kids' first pizza was FULL of veggies. It's amazing what they'll eat if it's on pizza.
2. Along those lines, adding cheese or (homemade) ranch dressing is a surefire way to get my kids to eat something they aren't crazy about.
3. My kids tend to prefer their food "deconstructed" - which I'm fine with. Plain pasta NEXT TO the sauce instead of tossed in it? Sure! All the ingredients for a cobb salad in individual portions on the plate? Why do I care if you eat it all mixed up v. alone? As long as you eat it. :-)
Nicki says
The best advice I have is to make sure that Mom and Dad aren't picky! As long as the parents don't complain and eats everything, they set an example for the children.
Robin Seitz says
I ask the kids to choose a new fruit of veggie each time we grocery shop. It helps them to get excited about it!
Kirsten G says
Like (love!)
Kristy says
Like
Kirsten G says
We have one picky eater who is teaching our younger child to be picky now too! Our rule is that you have to have at least 1 bite of everything on your plate.
Mindy Richter says
Like!
charity lichtenberger says
like
liz says
Liked!
charity lichtenberger says
we have garden, and my picky eater seems more willing to eat veggies when he's been involved in the process of growing and picking them.