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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Jolene says
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Jolene says
Whatever food on your plate you complain about, I will give you more of that food.
Nicki Czarnecki says
Cutting out fast food, processed food, short order cooking, and switching to water (took time) instead of other drinks that fill kids' bellies...along with a lot of consistency and patience. My son has come around a lot. He use to get so anxious eating he'd gag and even vomit on occasion. His palette changed over time. Whenever I make a dish I know he will be uncertain of I make a side dish I know he likes. There are many meals he ends up mostly eating a mountain of green beans but so much better than the past!
Emily Havens says
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Marion says
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Marion says
My daughter is a picky eater when it comes to veggies and meat. After giing her carrots for the 100th time she finally eats them and all it took was a little ranch. Imagine that! Funny thing is she would eat organic plain lettuce no problem. She is also not a fan of meat unless it is mixed in with beans for tacos or in homemade chicken noodle soup, but oh does this girl love her some Tofu!
Jennifer Renshaw says
I think I've done just about everything wrong with my don (including bribing, which I am still guilty of!). However, despite my mistakes he is getting better! The one thing that helped the most, and in hindsight seems like a no-brainier, was getting rids of snacks. A hungry kid will eat much better than a non-hungry kid!
Lisa T says
let them help you plan the meals & go shopping for the items!!!!!
Tara says
While I'm finding lots of great suggestions in this book, I am continually appalled at the French approach to breastfeeding. I wasn't surprised when the author mentioned that France has one of the lowest breastfeeding rates in the industrialized world, and that if French women breastfeed, they tend to stop by 2 months. When Le Billon tells the story of her friend holding off feeding her two-day old infant because his next scheduled feeding is 3 hours away, I was just as shocked as she was. It amazes me that a nation that seems so bent on feeding children varied and nutritious meals gets them off to such a terrible start. Breast milk is the perfect food for babies and toddlers, and through our beast milk, we introduce them to the foods and flavours we eat. Babies should be breastfed, and as often as they need it!
Cady says
I'd like to adopt the "try it bite" type rule in our house, but my son is not quite 3 and he just refuses. He's a pretty great eater and if we coax him by telling him much Mommy and Daddy enjoy whatever the food is he'll usually try a bite. I'm just wondering when the "try at bite" idea can become mandatory - how old do kids need to be before that's fair and they're able to understand it?
alex says
I have one very picky eater (who used to eat everything ) and another one who eats everything. My best trick is telling my first that there is a party in her tummy and the 'carrots' or whatever it is that she is eating want to go to the party. LOL It actually works quite well.
alex says
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Nina Im says
"like"
Nina Im says
My son will not eat foods mixed together. I made chicken pot pie and told him to pick through it and eat at his own pace. Before I new it he had a mouth full and a green tint to his skin and when he started to gag I believed him. I have to serve the food special and not make a big deal if it's chicken pot pie so we don't have any replay moments.
Audra says
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Smedette says
My nephew was (and to a degree, still is) very picky. I set him up with his own little vegetable garden box next to my own kitchen garden and we planted miniature varieties of peppers, eggplant, lettuce, peas and carrots. Watching his plants grown and harvesting the bounty made him excited to try these foods. He's almost six and love going through seed catalogs to pick out what he's going to grow next.
Michelle says
I absolutely love this site. I wish that I had a great picky eater trick but unfortunately I have the Worlds pickiest eater that he is currently in a feeding clinic program to hopefully get over his fear of food. I am going to start the 10 day pledge on Saturday and get rid of all the processed food in my home! Hopefully he'll start eating soon.
jenny says
Hi - I am SOOOO glad I found your blog....I have been obsessed with the French style of eating since 2009....lost weight and felt amazing...even started to bike to work...then got hit by a car...true story...again gained 30 lbs in recovery....OH WELL....I am going to try your challenge. Your philosophy is akin to what I teach as well...EAT REAL FOOD!
You are my new FAVORITE!
joy says
I lied. I told them fish was chicken, etc. They tried it, liked it and I confessed!
Priscilla says
I make new food all the time. Usually my 4 year old son will be quick to say, "I don't like..." even though he has never tried it. We make him take a "thank you" bite, which usually leads to him finishing most, if not all, of the food. And after dinner, I get a "that was good mama!"
Cady says
How old was he when he agreed to try the "thank you" bite? My son turns 3 in a few months and he will not do this, even though we suggest and model it. He's a pretty great eater, it's just sometimes when we know he'd like something but it's new he's hard to convince.
CrazyMama says
We're next on the library wait list for this book and can hardly wait to read it. When my oldest was 18 months old, I decided I do not have time to prepare more than one dinner each day. We always include at least one healthy food we know our kids like with each meal, especially when we are trying a new recipe. It seems to be working so far.
Meghan G says
liked!
Meghan G says
Just this afternoon, my daughter (5) prepared a fruit salad for our lunch. I let her take ownership of food prep and delivery.
julia says
My advice is "you don't have to like it, you just have to eat it." (or at least try it) We all are eating the same thing and it will help us get energy and stay strong. (at that point my younger one usually says I'm strong, feel my muscles." :)
Jill says
My son will eat his broccoli first, maybe because I only serve it at dinner and we have it often so it's familiar. I discovered he likes carrots better raw than cooked, even though I like them better cooked than raw. Some foods I eat as a snack I forget to offer him, like cottage cheese, but he likes it because he thinks it's an adult food.
Jessi says
When I taught at Head Start we used family style eating at lunch. You, including the teachers, had to put one scoop of every food on your plate. "No thank you bites" were strongly encouraged. I think some of the children were more likely to try something knowing that all that the adults were asking of them was one bite. By demonstrating "no thank you bites" I discovered a few foods that I liked. I was very sure to tell the children that I changed my mind about some things with NTYBs. We had the same meals on a rotating 8 week schedule. Children need to see the same food many times (I think the number is 17) before it's considered familiar to them.
Jessi says
I get them started on the family food from the beginning. When I start solids with my babies, I don't do jar baby food. I let them eat something I'm eating. I just mash it a little.
Esther says
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Esther says
My boyfriend eats like a child in so many ways. Despite all my attempts to encourage him to eat real food with me, I have failed for 3 years now ... Until last week. I got him in the kitchen to help me cook for the first time ever. It was not only a bonding experience but it gave me the opportunity to show him how easy it is to eat real food by preparing it himself. Because the time we spent together cooking was so fun, he was more willing to try what we cooked together and he actually tried my food and liked it! I learned that if I am going to succeed in getting to eat what I eat, I need to make cooking something he likes to do too! So easy.
Staci says
So excited to have found this page and "liked" on Facebook!
Staci says
My boys usually will say they don't like what we have made for dinner but our rule is you must try everything on your plate. Sometimes we have them start out with a certain number of bites, usually the number of bites equals their age. And almost always they end up liking the meal and eating most of it! They also like to help me cook and sometimes they will make comments or faces about foods or ingredients etc. But they know they will have to try the food and usually they end up saying how good of a cook their momma is! ;)
David Clark says
great post - we have a similar rule - you dont have to like it but you do have to try it.
Rainey says
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Rainey says
I try to have everyone help plan the menu.
Rachel DeFriend says
Like on FB!
Rachel DeFriend says
We try to have our little ladies help prep/cook the food in some way. The more they are invested the better our chances of them trying it. I think too sitting together and eating with them helps as well. We have however been known to bribe veggies to get them to eat meat...always cracks me up barter at the table with zucchini and broccoli!
Tracy says
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Robyn says
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Tracy says
I have my 3 year old help me cook. Getting him involved gets him more excited about trying the final product!
Robyn says
My kids follow the same rules as most people on here- must try at least a bite of everything on their plates (only if they really don't like it, not just if they don't feel like eating it). When I am serving something that is new, or I know isn't their favorite, I always make sure to serve other things they do like with it, so everyone is able to fill up on healthy food and I don't have 3 kids with 3 bites of food in their stomachs!