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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
marielle says
Like!
Whitney says
LIKE
Amy says
Picky eater tip: I serve foods my kids "don't like" many times and they have to try it each time. I've found that over time, they end up liking it!
Merry Jo says
My tip is just to keep trying different food.
marielle says
Each family membee has one night a week when they choosethe menu and udeally help prepare.
Jessica says
I think exposure is very important. They may not eat it the first, or even tenth time, but they may on the eleventh! Also, having my 2 year old pick from 2 or 3 healthy choices instead of just asking her what she wants for a snack has made it less of a battle.
Whitney says
I don't really have any great tips, as this is why I would love to win this book! But I suppose I just try and show my daughter how I enjoy eating whatever it is she is refusing, or take a bite from her plate. Sometimes it works.
Liz says
My son is a picky eater and does not go for "he will eat when
He's hungry". We would miss dinner every single night of the week.
We make him a small plate and sometimes he will try, if not he has to wait till mommy and daddy are done and sit nicely while we eat. Then I will make him something else (nutritional) that I know he will eat.
Jen Boucher says
LIKED
Jen Boucher says
Our strategy is to put everything that is being served on the kid's plate -- when he wants seconds of one particular item (raisins for example) we ask him to eat a bite of chicken, broccoli, and cracker first -- or whatever is on his plate. Then we give him a small amount of raisins and play the "game" again.
OR we'll play the "I'm going to eat your ___fill__in__the__blank___" and he gets super excited to put it in his mouth first. If he doesn't like it he spits it out ... (something we are working on. He just doesn't like grape tomatoes!)
Elana Hostetter says
I have been a mom for 14 1/2 years so far and I have never, ever ever, served a "special" meal in Ddition to what we are eating as a family. As a result I have very healthy and somewhat adventurous eaters. Additionally, we don't use dessert as a bribe.
Melissa says
Like ... liked you on FB a long time ago :)
Shelley says
like!
Shelley says
I don't have any good tips...just keep trying!
Melissa says
We really don't have to use "tricks". Our children have always eaten whatever we eat (never a short order cook around here) and they've always been required to try everything on their plate. Greens or veggies of any kind are a known "must eat". My youngest has always eaten her veggies first to "get it over with". :) I think parents don't give kids enough credit. Mine love spinach and kale and all things green. :)
Kristin V says
like
Janet says
like
Kristin V says
I don't have any tips and need to read this book!!!
Melissa says
like
Janet says
Coming at this from the perspective of a parent with a kid who required a feeding tube his first 2 years....
We serve something that he likes at every meal - everyone gets that food. We serve other things (from new to him to things he's not fond of to things he actively hates), and everyone gets servings of those too - including my son. Some things he eventually tries, some we're not there yet.
Melissa says
These have already been mentioned before, but my kids eat what we eat and they have to try everything, even if they have told me for years they don't like something! Also, I never fed my babies store-bought baby food. I mushed up fruits and veggies that we were eating until their bodies were used to those, then I cut our dinners up into tiny bites for them. I found they transitioned easier into chunky food since they didn't have a diet completely of pureed, bland food. :-)
I have read bits of this book on Amazon and would love to read the whole thing! Thanks for doing this!
Cathy says
I involve my kids in the preparation of food - if they "made dinner" they are much more excited about eating it, no matter what it is.
Grace says
like
Grace says
Let them help, and let them see you try new foods.
Lee Broom says
I like to cook the veggies or healthy foods different ways, and eventually we find a way that we like it.
Putting a variety of things on a pizza or in bread or muffins sometimes works. Or cooking with cheese or lots of pasta.
Krystal says
Our son is 2 1/2 and has never had a hot dog or commercial pizza or macaroni and cheese. He knows the same real food we eat, so even though we feel he is picky, his options are healthy. We are working towards better balance though!
Jessica Taylor says
like!!! So glad I found your site :)
Jessica Taylor says
My advice is start young...always cook a variety of healthy meals and make them try it! That was the rule in my home growing up...you had to at least try it or go hungry. There were never special kid meals made..you ate what there was or you didn't and you went to bed hungry..
Cathy says
Like
Cathy says
Repeated exposure to new foods that they have to taste before they determine they don't want anymore. Decreasing the stress associated with trying new foods has helped!
Donna says
My son wouldnt touch vegetables until we told him it would make him big and strong. He then decided to tried it and when he took a bite, we told him we saw his muscles grow a little on his arms. Now he holds his "guns" up while he eats them and asks us to watch if they grow after each bite! :) I about fainted when he announced he liked broccoli now. :)
Becky (have turtle will travel) says
I don't have kids, but I used to be married to a super picky eater. He only ate "kid food" and caesar salad when we got married. A lot of the time when I would make something new I would describe it as similar to _____ that I knew he liked without telling him about the parts I knew he would veto. I might would stress the garlic flavor in something and conveniently leave out that there were tomatoes in it too. Once he tried it and kept eating, if he asked I'd tell him. If not, I'd just keep using the secret ingredient in other stuff until he figured it out and then I'd point out to him that he'd been eating in ____ and in ____ and in _____ for months. For him, the picky was mental, not tastebud related.
Laura B says
Like
Laura B says
First of all I just finished this book and LOVED it!!!! It is a must read. We follow the "hunger is the best sauce" rule of thumb, and you don't have to like it but you have to try it.
You have to read this book-- you WILL like it ;)
Jessica David says
Like!!!
mamanut says
like
Jessica David says
I have tried to tell my kids (5 & 9 yrs old) the health benefit of eating the healthy foods I cook. For instance, eating healthy means less tummy aches and getting sick less (which means going to the dreaded doctor less). This seems to work on my 5 & 9 year old. I'm still stumped with my 2.5 yr old though...
mamanut says
Here goes: we try to get our kids interested in food from other cultures. Sometimes the fact that it is 'exotic' to them can make something they otherwise refuse outright more exciting and make them more willing to try. This works *some* of the time for us, but is so worth it - who knew my kids would go for Indian food just fine!? Now we get to eat Indian food which I love regularly without worrying that we'll listen to whining at the table. The key for us is talking about more than the food: the culture, friends we know, things our kids read or saw about that country, listening to music, and so on. That opens them up to the idea.
Moiya says
Like
Deedra says
"like"