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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Julie Brizard says
Two things we do is 1. have a "new food night" where we make something new, and it may be something that our daughter thinks she doesn't like (even though she's never tried it) and we all have to try it, because it's "new food night." It's a fun way to look forward to the new food night and hopefully change the outlook on the food for that night. And 2. if it's a veggie she doesn't (or thinks she doesn't) like, she has to eat 5 pieces because she is 5 years old. If she has eaten her 5 peas or whatever vegetable we are having and she still doesn't like it, then we don't force her to finish the serving and will substitute fruit instead.
Melanie says
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Melanie says
I offer something healthy first and if they finish it and are still hungry, then they can make a suggestion of something they would like in addition to what's been offered.
April says
LIKE!!
Rebecca Roland says
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Rebecca Roland says
My biggest tip is to start them early and lead by example! lol I've been lucky that my kids eat a variety of foods.
Cortni says
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Cortni says
The Two Choices for Dinner: Eat it or Go Hungry seemed to work pretty well in my household.
Gail Medaris says
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Gail Medaris says
I have four children and my youngest is the picky of all of them. He is 2 1/2 and just started taking one bite of whatever he doesn't like which is almost everything I serve him for dinner or any fruit or veggies! We have patiently and consistently still given him the food everyone else is eating and he is told he can take a bite or go hungry. It is slowly working!
Stephanie says
I have a 4 month old so no tips yet, but I would love to read this book to prepare for teaching her about nutrition
Maura says
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Maura says
When introducing a new food to my 2yr. old son, I will start eating it before the meal starts so he sees it and wants some. For some reason new food is less scary when his first time seeing it isn't on his plate before dinner!
Betsy says
My daughter is well aware of the "you don't have to like it, but you do have to try it" rule in our house. I've noticed that if we do not focus our attention on her, but go about our normal conversation, she is more likely to eat the food without the theatrics of gagging, tears, etc. It's a process!
Kayla says
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Kayla says
My best tip is the same as mentioned above don't be a short order cook. Keep exposing!
Beth says
Like!
Kate says
Before I had kids, I knew what I would do with picky eaters. Then I had the pickiest one ever. So, I just beat my head on the table. Just kidding, I make him at least lick every thing if I can't get him to take bites!
Beth says
If I know my 4yr old has liked something in the past, but is just picky that day...I'll let him know if he eats all (or mostly all) of it, then later on he can have a snack. (something healthier, but still a treat to him) if he doesnt eat lunch/dinner, then no snack. This seems to motivate him, but still leaves the ball in his court. He's learning to make healthy decisions.
Kate says
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Allison says
I agree with all of your points wholeheartedly, but I also wonder about your opinion on the French eating "real" food. I know you are against sugar - they eat plenty of it in moderation. And the typical French family certainly doesn't go for 100% whole grain bread, rice, pasta. So do you agree with the French way of eating or not? You also just posted about semolina flour being "out" for you, but there is a whole country of incredibly healthy Italians raised on semolina. I love your blog, but I have a hard time with some of the (typically American) extremist views. Life isn't so black and white.
Carrie says
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Carrie Payne says
My kids have to try one bite of everything on their plate. This usually gets them to eat enough!
Also, we do a lot of cooking together. I find if the kids help make the food, they are more likely to eat it.
Nina says
Gardening and cooking with my children has helped them to expand the list of foods they will eat. Nothing like having to help cook the family meal that you "don't" like a couple of times and then have the family thank you for cooking the wonderful meal before you get curious enough to taste it. While my children don't eat everything they grow in the garden, they have at least tried some new things, and I personally think a fresh carrot or tomato from the garden tastes a bit better than the one from the store.
Molly says
By best strategy for dealing with my picky-eater daughter is variety! I offer a variety of veggies and fruit, and then she gets to pick which ones to eat. Instead of not eating a fruit or veggie like she used to, she thinks she's in charge since she's making the choice . . . and she's actually eating fruits and veggies without a battle!!
Bianca says
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Bianca says
I just keep offering the food over and over. I usually ask them to try at least one bite. Oftentimes they end up liking it!
Aimee says
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Aimee says
My child is not too picky, but the trick that seems to work best for us is showing enthusiasm for the food item ourselves. That, and lots of exposure.
Sommer Norton says
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Kris says
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Sommer Norton says
I don't have any tips, but would love a few to get my picky eater to eat more foods. He ate everything the first two years, now he won't eat anything.
Kris says
Use food from your garden. My kids are much more excited to try food that they helped grow.
Kathryn says
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tracey brewer says
I try to always have a variety of fruits available and ready to eat.
Marnie says
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Melissa says
I always have my daughter help me make dinner. We have a great time and she seems to
appreciate the food much more.
Kathryn says
We don't have picky eaters, just picky moments. I just act as if the (sometimes new) food is completely normal and wonderful, and they are less apprehensive with trying it.
I believe if you start out by prepping your child with "Honey just try a bite of ___,", etc, it causes more anxiety and an unwillingness to try it. Act as if you've served it a thousand times and tell you child matter of factly that it's good for your body because.....it helps your eyes, helps your bones grow stronger, it can help you run faster, etc.
FYI, I'm still working on implementing these techniques with KALE. WE LOVE it...my latest kale technique is to saute it with coconut oil, then throw it in the food processor and add to homemade mashed potatoes. Lovely!
Marnie says
I like hiding veggies in breakfast smoothies.
Syhren says
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