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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Rebe says
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Alicia says
We also have a rule that you must try everything every time we have it. If you don't like it, that's ok but you must at least try it.
Heather Sulzer says
I have found that instead of "we are having zucchini tonight. Eat it." It works better if I give them an option like "you can have zucchini or asparagus" or "you can have sweet potatoes or cauliflower" and let them choose. Being able to choose puts it onto their hands. It requires making an extra vegetable but eating some veggies is better than no veggies. Whatever they choose, they are expected to eat.
Rebe says
Not so much pressure to eat something new - tasting only, for example. And if I think they might try it, sometimes it helps to let them think you aren't watching them taste it. :-)
Lauren J says
I would have to agree 100% with the "Kids eat what the grown-ups eat" rule. We're persisting with that one in my house, and my 5-year-old is slowly coming around - she devoured a Greek-style quinoa-stuffed red pepper recently, much to my amazement. All of my kids started out with healthy eating habits because, I think, I made all of their baby food and cooked with a variety of veggies and herbs early on for them. However, when they started going to preschool and being around other kids more, things quickly went downhill. My 3-year-old stuffs himself on meals he likes and refuses to eat at meals where I don't fix typical "kid fare". Since the oldest one is coming back around, though, I have hope! Patience is key!
Sheena Ramirez says
Like! Like! Like!
Amy says
We have a "one bite minimum" at our house. My 6 year old turns up her nose at just about everything, but she is still required to have one real bite that she chews and swallows of everything on her plate. Once or twice she's been surprised and actually liked something that she hadn't expected to!
Carrie says
To get our 18-month old boys to eat more vegetables, we put them on the fork for them. Even though they're not very civilized yet with silverware, I think they eat the vegetables this way because it's a game. I also made all their baby food hoping it would prevent pickiness down the road. It allowed us to offer so many unique combinations early on. The only thing they both absolutely hated was my cranberry apple surprise. :)
Economiesofkale says
It sounds like an interesting read, I might have to check it out of the library (I can't enter the contest because I live in Australia).
We don't have kids but Mr Omnivore was raised on a very European diet and can be picky about some of the food I make. He does make an effort though, and he's getting better :)
Angie says
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Shirley says
I am a grandmother at this point in life. I have raised two children. The oldest was such a picky eater that I weaned him to peanut butter and crackers, because he would not except anything else. We tried to get him to eat what was on his plate and were too controlling about it. This eating pattern continued through his teen year with a very limited amount of variety of foods. Junk food and sweets were limited. At age 25 he ate his first salad. He listening to his body and has become a much healthier eater.
His sister who is 11 years younger was a great eater. When she reached 15-16 years old and was out with friends, she became a fast food and junk eater.
Both my kids blame me for their bad eating habits. They say restricting their sweets and junk food just made them crave it more. LoL.....I just say it is your responsibility now so you can quit blaming.
You can prepare good food and set the example, but eventually they will make their own choices for good or bad food.
Amanda Donatelli says
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Angie says
My daughter isore likely to try a new food when she helps prepare it.
Heather Sulzer says
Like!
Angela Yonker says
Like!!
Amanda Donatelli says
I serve grilled chicken cut up and put toothpicks in it for my son. He thinks it's fun to eat that way! It now has replaced breaded chicken tenders. :)
Angela Yonker says
We say "that's okay you're probably just not big enough yet... you might like it when you're a little bigger." Sometimes they go ahead and try it so they can claim that in fact they DO like so they must be bigger:)
Nancy says
With my 3 year old I have engaged her in the cooking process and the food doesn't seem so scary. Seems to help. She has enjoyed helping pick a recipe, shop for groceries and participate in cooking. Not easy all the time, but I am hoping she continues to try everything.
Maria smith says
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Suzanne says
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Maria smith says
My picky eater tip is green smoothies. My daughter loves the smoothies I make with just real fruit and spinach or kale. Maybe this is cheating? :)
Jane says
I just finished reading this book this week, I waited forever on the library hold list for it! It was very insightful. I can not believe how behind/backwards we are here in America. We are trying to change some things we are doing at our house, especially eating quickly and I am guilty of eating standing up all of the time! Love this book, I am going to put it on my Christmas list!
Suzanne says
I have 4 children and my 3 year old son has severe food allergies which seemed to limit him from all of "our" foods. This has been an on-going education for our whole family. While at first I continued to make all of our usual meals and always made him something separate (this never went over well in his 2 and 3 year old mind!). We began to figure out that the more "real" food (minus dairy) he ate, the better he felt. A lightbulb went off! Instead of always making him separate meals, I vowed to eat what he ate so he would always have a food buddy. The rest of the family followed and now I make ONE meal that we all can eat together. My son physically feels better, and will more easily accept food that his whole family is eating too!
Colleen says
We have three girls and each one has been picky at some point or another! There is always something on the table they like and will eat, but they are given a little bit of everything to at least try. We always figure, "If they are hungry enough, they'll eat it!" :)
The best part is now our girls are getting 'picky' if the food being offered to them isn't 'real'!! ;)
Angela Martinez says
Like :)
Angela Martinez says
I tell my daughter that we are being fancy. If she thinks its special in some way she'll give it a try. This has worked with almond butter and vege straws so far.
AronKay says
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Sera says
If my children don't like it, they still have to eat 1 or 2 bites of it.
Jessica Mitchell says
LIKE
Emily says
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AronKay says
My little one is 15 months and we are constantly transitioning to new foods. I still have so much to learn. When introducing a new food that he doesn't seem to care for I make sure one of his favorite foods is also available. This usually helps and he ends up finishing both!
Emily says
The easiest way for me to get my daughter to step outside her picky-eating-box is to either have her help me make the food, or to present it in a fun way - ie. shaped/decorated like an animal or flower. :)
Laura Blake says
Like!
Jessica Mitchell says
Great way at looking at food...it's so true that we don't invest enough time into what is fueling our bodies! One way we get our little boy to eat his veggies is serve them in a fun way (on a stick like a kabob or make them into to silly shapes).
Laura Blake says
If you include your child in the food prep and cooking process, I find that they have a better appreciation for food and take pride in eating what they helped to cook. I even bought a tower, so my boys can work at the counter with me.
Heather V says
Like!
Heather V says
I am blessed with a child who literally eats everything. There are things he doesn't prefer, but he still eats them. It also helps that my husband and I also like a variety of ethnic cuisines and I love to cook.
Susan Smith says
We make our 3 year old take one bite of a food. If she doesn't like it, then we don't force her to eat it.
Lesley says
Luckily my son is 2 and he is NOT a picky eater...yet. But I think it is becaue he eats what we eat and we eat a variety of fresh foods. I do dread when he gets sent to school and startes seing what other kids eat. I have one friend who was giving her 9 month old oreos as snack!
Julie Brizard says
like!!