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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Erin CF says
One of my fav tips to get kids eating a variety of fruit and veg is the cut thing diff ways. Cut oranges into circles or "orange smile" wedges. Instead of always cutting carrots into sticks leave them whole or cut them into coins. Conversely instead of always slicing cucumbers cut them into sticks or even just letting kids gnaw on a big chunk. I am always suprised how the exact same food presented differently appeals on certain days.
LIsa says
Having kids help with the planning and cooking really worked for me. Growing a few tomatoes and peppers in planters on our deck also helped them appreciate veggies.
Wendy says
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Wendy says
I have four children with my first born being my extremely picky eater. I think maybe I didn't introduced "table foods" early enough and fed him baby food too long. I would say introduce table food early and cut back on baby food as age appropriate.
Jaime Shockley says
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Jaime Shockley says
We try all foods - at least taste it twice. If they don't like it, we can put it away for THAT meal. But, that doesn't mean that we don't try it again some other time! I firmly believe that tastes change all the time. What you didn't like awhile back, you might like now!
Sabra says
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Sabra says
My son is quick to say he doesn't like something if it is unfamiliar. To promote familiarity, he helps to write the grocery list and helps mix ingredients as appropriate.
Mandy says
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Mandy says
We have the must try all new foods rule, and it works! I also told my girls it takes awhile to decide if they like a food or not, so they have to try it on more than one occasion and always if it is prepared a different way. Then, once I am satisfied that they gave it a good effort, if they have decided that they don't like something, they don't have to eat it. But, I do not stop using the food... If daddy has to pick the tomatoes out of things, the girls can pick out the mushrooms!
Vanessa says
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Vanessa says
My mother was the head chef at a local summer camp this year, where she changed the rules up a bit from years prior. In the past, if a child so much as turned up their nose at what was being served, the cook would rush off to make them a pb&j (on white bread) instead. My mother instead made sure that there was enough other food available (e.g. side dishes like cut up veggies, potatoes, cheese, etc...) to make up a decent, balanced meal, even if the child did not like the main that was being served. She also encouraged "no thank you helpings" which were basically a tablespoon or so of the main that the child apparently did not like, just for them to try. It worked very well, and many of the children returned to get full servings after tasting the "no thank you helping".
Kasie says
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Rhonda says
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Kim Nascimento says
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Paula says
I have found that letting your picky eater (yes, even the spouse) help make the food, they are more likely to eat it. My hubby discovered asparagus was edible after he grilled it and sprinkled with balsamic vinegar. This was after 10 years of trying to get him to just try it.
Kim Nascimento says
My Best picky eater tip is simple: just keep trying. Kids are finicky and don't know what they want from minute to minute. Just keep offering it and eventually they'll come around.
Dawn says
If I make up names for some food, my kids will eat it. For example, I said couscous was "bug eyes" and my son dived right into it.
Melissa says
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Melissa says
My best picky eater tip is repetition. Just keep serving it over and over in different dishes, prepared different ways, and different varieties.
Emily says
My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!
Kris Mays says
Like your FB Page, thanks!!!
Kris Mays says
I shred zucchini and put it in everything I can: tacos, soups, etc. It boosts the nutrition content and they never know it's there.
Christina says
the kiddo eats at least one bite of everything, and she eats mostly what we eat. that has already been said but it's what we do with our almost two year old. she has never been extremely picky but her tastes have changed over time, hard to tell how much reflects on what we feed her and how much is just individual.
Katie says
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Heather says
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Heather says
Implement tips from this website has helped my family with our picky eater on it's journey to eating mostly (not quite only) real food. Thank you.
Sheena Ramirez says
My daughter always wants to try whatever I'm eating. She's two so this exposes her to lots of different foods. Most of which she ends up liking!
Ella says
My picky eater doesn't like blueberries or bananas. I put them in smoothies or homemade popsicles and she loves them. I tell her there are a lot of ingredients we wouldn't really want to eat alone like garlic. If we add garlic to a sauce it makes it taste super yummy. I explain the blueberries and bananas are just ingredients in the smoothie or popsicle. She accepts that and I accept that she won't eat them plain.
Jenifer says
My 6 yr old son has always been an adventurous eater until he started Kindergarten.... now he refuses most everything. I've just learned patience. I refuse to make a separate meal, so if he's polite about it, I allow him the opportunity to eat/try my required 3 bites & if he still absolutely doesn't like it, then he can make himself a sandwich. I won't do it, but he has the option to make that himself.... I can count on one hand the number of times in a year that he's actually gotten up & made one for himself... usually he just eats what we have even though he didn't want to originally. So much easier giving him that option than starting a power struggle... when he feels he has some control over it himself, he stops fighting so much.
Katie says
Picky eater tip: I try to get my daughter to try new foods as often as possible so we don't get stuck in a rut of feeding her the same things every day. When I find something new that she likes, we add it to the "roster".
Christine @Cooking My Cookbooks says
I don't have kids, but I do have a picky husband. It's something I struggle with, but the best tip I have to share is to pair something you know your picky eater likes with something he's iffy about. And especially when you are trying to win someone over, make sure you are cooking it properly & the seasonings are well balanced. I don't suppose I can really blame a picky eater for not liking something if it is not cooked well!
cindy quinn says
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cindy quinn says
We always have our picky eater taste the food we prepare and give her the option to "spit it out" if she doesn't like it. However if she eats it and takes another bite she gets a penny for her piggy bank!
Kara says
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Danielle says
I like you on FB
Alicia says
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Jenifer says
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Kara says
Breastfeed your baby! This exposes them to many different flavors (based on what you eat) before they even try solid foods. When my oldest was 18 months, he was eating everything. He would even clean his plate at the Indian buffet!
Danielle says
Have the kids help choose meals for the week & cook them. If they have a say in what goes on the table, they're more Likely to eat it. :)