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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Kara says
Ive got 2 fussy and somewhat picky eaters. I hide veggies in smoothies, but also offer fresh fruit or veggies at each meal. We also have the you have to taste it rule. I definitely need more help with this so this book is a must read foe me I think!
rachel says
like
rachel says
My child is not always a picky eater, bt she is two so she has her days. I have found that if I put a dip(hummus, ranch) on her plate with her meal those days and make a big deal abot how special it is, she seems to eat more. It's pretty easy and it works for us.
Dana says
While most of the time my 4 year old will not protest to much on the one bite rule, my 2 year old is a different story. I add spinach (a cup or more of fresh) to their fruit smoothie. They know it is there but they don't mind. I also add cooked sweet potatoes, carrots or spinach to my meatloaf. I just yesterday made whole grain waffles to which I added mashed sweet potatoes.
Diane says
There are a ton of great tips here. For us, it's just a matter of repetition. My kids have a habit of saying they don't like it, even if they really don't know what they're talking about. One night I made pork chops on the grill. Two of my three kids said they didn't like them and ewww they weren't eating it. I put it on their plates anyway and told them that yes, they do like pork chops. Not only did they clean their plates, they scavanged off of mine!
Denyse says
like
Denyse says
I once worked with a dietitian who told me children have to be exposed to a new food 21 times before you can honestly say they like or don't like it. Now we don't give up on a particular food. They don't have to eat it, but it has to go on their plate.
Brandy says
In our home we live by the one bite rule. To get our kids to try new foods we require at least one bite, which usually turns into more than one! There are times when they truly don't like something. But the one bite rule has gotten us past food prejudice based on appearances! I encourage everyone to try it!
amanda thomas says
Like
amanda thomas says
My 2 year old is a very picky eater, if it doesn't look like pancakes or french fries she doesn't even want to try it, we do eat a lot of pancakes around our house so I try to add oatmeal or fruit, and I have even snuck in some pureed veggies! I have tried cutting foods in a French fry shape, that didn't go very well. But we recently discovered telling her "look big sissy is eating her food" she will actually try it! Although, she usually spits it out, it is definitely progress.
Kalyn says
My best tip is to simply have a positive attitude. My younger sister has always been fairly picky, but when people just assume that she won't eat anything, that simply makes the problem worse.
Kristy says
My best tip to call eating an adventure with my picky eater. We "go on an adventure" to try foods we don't normally eat. Make it fun and exciting!
Jackie says
Like
Kristina says
like!
Jackie says
I used the "have to taste" and also made them eat at least as many bites of everything on the plate as they were old. Seems I didn't have a problem once they hit 6 years old, by then they knew they had to eat.
Kristina says
My boys usually don't complain but are not fond of salad greens and some other vegetables. We have an age bite rule in our house. However old you are determines how many bites you must take.
Tanya W says
My 6 year old daughter became a very picky eater around age 3. She even refused milk. I was so worried about her nutrition. I eventually took her to the Dr and got some advice. My Dr told me to include one new thing every day into our menu. I made a list of all of the new foods we tried and then noticed after a month that my daughter actually liked some of the new foods. I just had to go out of my comfort zone and buy and cook new items. My daughter had become picky because I had let her get away with it.
Nichole says
like
Nichole says
Persistance...I just keep offering the same things over and over again...eventually my daughter has tried several of them. I also came to terms with the idea that she wasn't going to starve herself! If she is hungry enough she will eventually eat.
Melissa says
We eat mostly home made from scratch cooking and are thankful that we do. Sadly, there is an abundance of junk food at most social events we attend. I do have a question, however, about how to deal with a child who does not like a food. For example, my daughter does not like fish or seafood of any kind. My son does not like grilled burgers. When we have those things for dinner, would you just make them try it and then if they don't like it have that piece of fish or burger be wasted ( expensive - especially with the fish)? Do they have to try it and then go to bed hungry if the rest of the meal does not fill them up? Can they have second servings of the other components of the meal to "make up for" the food they did not like? Wanting to know how to solve this dilemma without making a separate main dish for them when we have these foods. Thanks for any insights! They are 11 and 9.
Pam @ Ramblings of a Happy Homemaker says
This sounds like an awesome book! I once heard that kids have to taste something 7 (I think) times before they develop a taste for it. So, you have to keep presenting it. But, the big thing I've found with my own family is that if we try a new veggie and don't like it, it may be the preparation. So, I look for a new way to fix it and then try again at some point. It took a while, but I eventually found a method of cooking brussels sprouts that we could not only endure but actually enjoy. :-)
Kim says
My kids have done great with the whole foods transition. Sure they would like more junk but they know why we don't have it and they re only 3 and 5. We have framed food as " is it a superfood?" and "will it help me get big and strong?" They are superhero obsessed and they want to be big and strong. They must try one bite of everything and they are NEVER EVER made to eat something they don't like. They also now ask if a food they want while we are about in the world "does it have too many ingredients?". Putting it in words they understand has been the key. We eat home, at the table, as a family 99.5%. I make almost all our food, real whole foods. It can be done! Don't force a kid to eat. I was as a child and it was awful.
Ali Hill says
I have a rule to at least try one bite of everything on your plate! If they don't like it they don't have to eat the rest, but they do have to try one bite!
Ali Hill says
Like!
Christine says
I like the "no short order cook" rule.
melissa g says
Liked on facebook!
melissa g says
My two year old is huge on texture. For things he won't eat, like veggies, I will provide him with the "whole" version while also pureeing some into sauces or batters. The toughest part is dad is a very picky eater, which makes it so tough to explain why daddy isn't eating, but you have to...
Marisa Cibirka says
We actually have our daughter eat 3 bites. At least that gets us a little closer to an actual serving size. Her favorite drink also helps wash it down. She loves organic milk with a touch of vanilla and a drop of liquid stevia.
Stacy S says
"like"
Stacy S says
Try one bite and no short orders!
Brigette says
With my toddler, once she has been out of the baby stage, we have tried to always have her eat what we eat. Even at restaurants, were surprisingly the kids menu is mac and cheese and pizza, even at a sushi restaurant! So we order her sushi instead, and she eats it!
Kathleen says
Growing up, we always had to eat at least three bites of everything at the dinner table, which (looking back, anyway) is a reasonable amount and it's what we ask of our kids now.
Brittany says
"liked" on Facebook. Love this site actually!!!
Brittany says
Eating "real food" has been a real experience and jump for us thus far. But are on day 32 of our challenge and feel enormously better! I will say the one thing I try to remember something I read when my son was younger. With picky eating is that on average it takes 7 tries before it can truly be said that a child doesn't "like" a particular food. Many times its a texture thing. With my son, we've learned that he'll gobble up fruits and veg if we take the skin off, simply because he doesn't like the chewy texture yet, like with cucumbers, peppers, apples, pears, etc.
Gaelle says
liked!
Gaelle says
I am a new mom so I don't have personal tricks yet! My parents raised me with a philosophy regarding food that is actually quite similar to what I read up there... And I wasnt picky! Neither was my sister. I actually couldnt understand why my friends didnt like this and that!
I think the "no short order" advice is very important, the kids eat what the parents eat! I was cooking for a family a couple years back and the mom always suggested to the kid that I cook them some white pastas or stuff like that, no wonder they were picky! Plus it was kind of a bummer to spend time cooking something I'd thought was delicious and everybody would enjoy just to see them not even try it...
Thanks for the nice blog!!
Tiffiny says
This book looks like a must-read for me! My kids are basically healthy eaters but I have one son that cannot handle fruit. He likes the tast but the texture makes him gag. Lately I've been giving him fruit in smoothies but that will be harder once school starts back up. Another thing I do is give him a fruite (such as an orange) that he can suck the juice from. My hope is that he will continue to like the taste and eventually get over the texture aversion.
I love your blog. I'm trying to cut out all things processed and it is hard! And our family are relatively healthy eaters to start out with! This will be a new favorite place for me to stop by. Thanks for all you do here!
Susan says
"like" your FB page too!
Susan says
We have a "try 1 taste" rule in my house. You try it once. That's all I'm asking. Try it. For my older kids, most of the time they like it. My 3 yr old we still struggle with this but she'll learn eventually!
Heidi says
like :)