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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Sondra says
No short order cooking at our house either. I started limiting snacks too after reading her other book Bringing up Bebe
Rachel says
I am not arguing against the French rules, but I am curious...aren't kids naturally "grazers" who eat small meals throughout the day? I've also heard that small meals throughout the day is actually better for you and helps to boost the metabolism. Any thoughts?
Rachel says
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Rachel says
If you're eating it, put it on their plate, even if you don't expect them to eat it or try it. When we have a spinach salad with our dinner, I put a few leaves on my boys' plates. I truly don't expect them to eat a dry spinach leaf, but having it on their plate allows them to become familiar with it...see it, touch it, smell it, etc. Eventually, it won't seem so strange to them and they may try it. My four year old runs to the fridge now and grabs a handful of spinach leaves for a snack!
michelle says
I have told my kids... You have to try it. It's just a bite. I do this about 5-10 time we eat something. And they must always have a serving of a green vegetable a day. They know that rule well! If they don't order it when we are out, I order it for them. Lol
Kathy Buffan says
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Kathy Buffan says
Our girls are fans of dip - ranch dressing, catsup, salsa - they'll dip anything into it!
JaLynn says
Like!
Gillian says
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JaLynn says
I try to hide vegetables in different dishes. Spinach can be hidden in almost anything. :)
Gillian says
My 3 year pld is very picky, we have to give her ketchup for her green beans!!!
Jamey says
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Jamey says
We do the.. "you don't have to like it but you have to eat it" We make our girls take atleast three bites. My girls love salad so they can fill up on that if they don't want more then the three bites of what ever other dish we are serving. I also stress to them that the kitchen closes after dinner. If they are hungrey eat now because there next meal is not till breakfast!
Jamey says
woops, I guess I should have re-read what I typed or used spell check :)
Nicky says
Rule #6 is the big one in our house....even if you've tasted it 50 times, taste it again!
Joni Borchert says
My Fiancés son is 8 years old and we are struggling with this very issue. He refuses to try new foods, especially if they are a vegetable or a real meat like whole chicken breast or steak. We strongly agree that he should try new foods and that there won't be any treat foods afterwards if he doesn't eat his meal. The biggest challenge is having the same standards being applied by his mother when he stays with her. Does anyone have any good suggestions that work for kids that live in a divorced household?
Kelly says
We offer multiple vegetables at mealtime- that way if they don't like one, they probably like the other one (or at least enough to eat most of it!) And they have to take one bite of everything just to try it. The one I struggle with the most is the snacking. I am fine with a small snack, but sometimes it ends up being a grazing event all day! And we have gotten into the unfortunate habit of having snacks every time we are in the car, which is both messy and ruins their mealtimes.
Ailo says
like :)
AM Dorn says
I totally agree with #2 that food should not be a bribe or distraction. I'm not sure about #7, I'm fine with healthy snacks between meals.
Ailo says
My godchild was a picky eater and her parents could never get her eat healthy food. When she stayed with me for a few months. I introduced her to fresh fruits and vegetables by having her involved in the food process. Picking, shopping, cleaning. It was her food and she was taken care of it.
Maggie says
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Maggie says
We have a rule that you must try everything on your plate...each and every time it is placed on your plate you have to try it...even if you didn't like it last time or the time before that or the time before that...because you never know when you may end up liking it.
Danigrl says
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Danigrl says
I am lucky that my boys haven't been very picky. I found that when there was something they were hesitant to try, I would let them know that they don't have to like it or eat all of it, but they do have to at least try a few bites every time the food is served.
Su says
like!
MamaG says
I try to get my son involved with the process. Going to buy the food, preparing it, setting the table. I find if he feels a part of things and has an opportunity to weigh in with his opinion he's more likely to participate.
Tara says
I don't have picky eaters. When I was pregnant with my first I witnessed I determined in my mind right then and there that there was no way in the world I was going to do that. They eat what the adults eat. Consequently, I have kids who will not only eat veg, but will try to convince their littler sibs who think they don't like it to do so!
Cassie says
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Cassie says
Our rule is that the kids will get juice to drink with dinner only if they try all the foods on their plate (or eat the foods if we know they like them). Until then it's just water in their cup. The prospect of juice offers a good incentive.
tawnya says
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tawnya says
We DEFINITELY don't short order cook. It's a tough one, but the rule is they have to try everything!
Meredith says
I never "introduced" my kids to processed junk! As toddlers, they ate fruit, vegetables, and whole grains (whatever we were eating) -- they did NOT eat mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, fries or any other "kid menu" type food. They developed fantastic eating habits and my son, now in elementary school, still doesn't like things like cake or overly sweetened baked goods. I really believe kids develop a taste for things that are offered. If you don't offer junk, you don't have to face the junk food battle until they are in school and by then, your kids will have developed a taste for healthy options.
Dawn Moyer says
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Dawn Moyer says
Picky eater tip -- thankfully mine aren't too picky, but when i'm introducing a new food or recipe, if I get my kids involved in the preparation (helping cut up veggies, mix ingredients etc) they are way more interested in trying something they helped make.
carole says
I read the book and loved it! I admit we have some bad food habits in our family and have been slowly changing over the past year. My daughter has been the hardest one to work with so far but I just keep offering fruits/veggies/real food and eventually some of it gets eaten. We were at an event last week where everyone had to bring snacks and I knew she would be aching to have a plate of store-bought, sugary cookies and desserts. As we were sitting and listening to someone speak, she leaned over to me and said, I think I see strawberries over there and they look really good! I was so impressed. She did have a couple cookies but she also had some strawberries!
Natasha says
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Amy says
I think persistence is the key. It can get frustrating. But it will be worth it in the end.
Natasha says
Out of 4 kids, I only have 1 super picky eater. We do the 1 bite rule, but he is very thin and I worry about him not growing enough if I send him to bed hungry (he's 8).
Kim says
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Kim says
Our rule is that they must at least try one bite each time it is on the table
Kara says
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