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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Kim says
Like :)
Katie says
Our picky eaters have to try at one least bite before saying they don't like it. We have been transitioning to a healthier lifestyle over last 4 years, and I have to remind myself everyday that these changes, though not easy, are best for our family!
Kim says
I don't have a picky eater so I honestly have no advice for it. I know my son will "not like" something for a week or two but will eat it after. I never say he doesn't like something and we have a rule in our house that you have to take at least one bite for everything on your plate.
Josephine says
For my picky-eater preschooler, I mix in new food with something I know he likes, a little at first, and then gradually increase it. As one example, he would not eat zucchini, so I included grated zucchini with his egg salad sandwiches which he DID like. This is not the same as hiding or sneaking vegetables into food without his knowledge. It's visible and I tell him about it in positive ways. He sees the zucchini, becomes comfortable with it when accompanied with something he likes, and then I eventually serve it on it's own in a different form.
Katherine S says
like
Kendra says
Help the picky eaters learn to feel the difference between eating real food and not real food. How either energy us differnt. Sleep. How their stomach feels after.
Katherine S says
Picky eater tip: ...persistence without pressure. The child resists sooo much more when it is a punishment..."You can't leave the table until all your peas are eaten!" NO!! Require a bite be eaten of everything but don't punish them if they don't like it. Eventually (hopefully) they will learn to like it. :)
Britt Henesy says
Like
Britt Henesy says
I typically offer a main dish and two vegetables. My 3 and 5 year old have to try a bite of everything. If they don't like something they don't have to eat it, but I don't make them anything different for dinner. I usually offer fresh berries or other fruit for dessert. The only exception is, my husband and I like spicy food, so I will keep the kids portion out of the spicy sauce.
Isabel says
LIKE! :)
Sandra says
My best advice is to get your children involved in picking out the recipes and helping prepare the meal.
Sandi
Isabel says
I sing the Yo Gabba Gabba song to her. :p Try it. You'll like it! It works about 50% of the time.
Angi says
Our rule is to eat a bite for each year of age. 2 year olds eat 2 bites of everything on their plate. 10 years eat 10 bites of everything on their plates. 10 is the year they realize that they have to eat it all, because 10 bites is usually a serving. :)
Cheryl says
I have learned to not discuss the food with my picky eater. I put one bite on his plate and there isn't any discussion about it. I find that taking the emotion out of it (mine is worry that he isn't eating enough) for me helps to make a more peaceful family dinner.
Ashley C. says
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Ashley C. says
I tell my kids that tastebuds change. Even if they didn't like something before, they may like it now. They have to at least try everything prepared.
Heather B. says
"liked" you on FaceBook.
Heather B. says
Picky eater tip - serve the food at least a dozen times and make the child taste it each time. You will be surprised how quickly they will change their mind and like the food.
Paige says
I always believe in "keep trying!" My daughter sometimes likes things the first time, sometimes it's the 6th time. I never give up. Sooner or later she always seems to like it.
Stephanie says
LIke you on Facebook!
Kelli says
I have found that not allowing snacks helps my picky eater to try new things because he is hungry. If he has too many snacks close to meals he will not eat anything.
Miki says
Like
Stephanie says
If I involve my boys in the planning and preparing of the meals they are more eager to try it...doesn't mean they always like it, but at least they are open to it.
Miki says
I wish I had a good picky eater tip. My oldest is utterly horrible and nothing I've done has helped. He is happy to go hungry rather than try healthy foods. My youngest is the same way to the point I've had OT working with them thinking it's a sensory issue. My two middle kids are such a joy to feed, they love brightly colored foods, even green ones!
Tara says
Like!!
Tara says
I simply give them food that we all like and tell them how delicious it is. If they don't want to try it, I sometimes will threaten to steal it (it's so good, I'll gladly take it!) and they gobble it up!
Carly says
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Erin says
I'm a Facebook fan.
Carly says
We talk a lot about trying new things even if it's just one bite! They sometimes surprise themselves that they actually like that 1 bite!
Erin says
We have the "no thank you" bite rule. My 3 yo has to take a bite of anything she might not like but then she can say "no thank you" after that. If she's hungry, she'll almost always finish whatever is offered. She likes a variety of food but she's three and wants to control her universe and food is part of that. If she's not hungry, she might say "no thank you" but then we know she isn't hungry and wait another hour before any other food is allowed.
Amy says
Like:)
Christi DeGeorge says
When our 4 kids play "restaurant" and make the menu and cook the food and serve the food, they are eagerly willing to try something new. They get caught up in the whole pretend play that they do not focus on the new food.
Lynne Snyder says
I went to Amazon and read a bit about the book. Wow, amazing. Thanks for the head's up.
Shannon says
This is a constant battle in my house! We fix one meal that everyone either eats or goes without if they decide they don't like it after trying. I would live to get more ideas how to improve my boys' taste buds :)
Susan says
Like!!
Laura Jo K says
I don't have kids yet, but my mom did the over and over again technique.
Tara says
liked
Tara says
my kids will eat veggies better if i rename them... broccoli is dinosaur trees.
Letty says
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Melissa L says
Liked!