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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Karen Smith says
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Karen Smith says
If the child ask "what's this?" don't answer by listing any ingredients it has.
DeAnna L says
we do the take at least one bite to try. most I think is just patience and persistance. put lots in front of them often and eventually...hopefully...they will eat more food items. it's hit or miss with my uber-picky eater...but I'm not giving up yet!!
Laura says
I believe we all eat the same thing at meals! I try to teach them to cook in hopes they eat it later!
DeAnna L says
like!!!
Karly Vardaman says
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Karly Vardaman says
My son has to at least try one bite of something before he can say he doesn't like it. Sometimes, he's pleasantly surprised, like when he found that he did like roasted cauliflower! Other times, he doesn't like the particular food. If he doesn't, I don't make a big deal about it, I just wait a while and re-introduce it again another time.
Andrea Cooper says
Like :)
Andrea Cooper says
I usually mix veggies in with mac and cheese or some other pasta dish, my son has become a broccoli lover.... he says "look mom I'm eating trees!"
Jennifer says
My son is a picky eater and I admit it's been a struggle since the day he started eating table food! I've lucked out in that he has grown out of it a bit since turning 4 but not entirely! We do not offer other choices at mealtime. The kids eat exactly what mom and dad are eating. If they choose not to eat something, the rule is that they must at least try it and it's ok if they don't like it. When they want more of something they do like that is offered they have to show us that they've at least tried everything else. Some meals are a struggle for sure. It never gets easier but I don't let them off the hook :)
Charla says
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Heather Bauer says
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Charla says
I usually have my kids pick a vegetable to try from the farmers market and have them help prep it. Our one rule at dinner is "you need to try before you say you don't like it, T.R.Y try!"
Marishannon says
I have very young children and I'm not sure if all teh experts would agree with this one, but it helps to call food by "special names." Like we eat carrot suns (round slices) and party hats (sandwiches cut in triangles, because sometimes, he doesn't even want to eat those!).
Heather Bauer says
I use the "take x numer more bites" technique with my fussy eater.
Kristen Leavitt says
I definitely have a picky eater, so I have her help me prepare the foods when I can as I find she is more likely to try them that way,
Tracey says
We implement the one bite rule in our house. You have to try a bite of everything before you can be excused from the table. It has not altered my son's picky eating but I keep hearing persistence is key.
Cara says
I liked you n FB! Thanks for your blog. It's my favorite.
Kristen Leavitt says
Like!
Cara says
Luckily I've focused on eating from the start with my daughter. She is 2 1/2. The things that lead to our success are having her involved in the cooking process since she was a baby, taking her to multiple Farmers Markets weekly, and modeling healthful eating. I always tell me friends who ask for advise, " you can't give your kids raw nuts and carrots for a snack and then eat Doritos in front of them." Believe it or not, I have had friends that want to change their kids eating habits but do t want to change their own. It just won't work.
Yolanda says
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Christy Davis says
Like! ;)
Yolanda says
I love to hide veggies in smoothies. Works like a charm!
Jodi Baughn says
Offer a variety and don't give up ... mix up the way you prepare different foods ... for instance, I discovered my "picky eater" son likes spinach raw but not cooked.
Christy Davis says
I always make them taste two bites. It has worked over the summer with my 5 year old eating yellow squash! She asked why there was only a little bit on her plate. I know I had a look of shock on my face.
Trish says
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Trish says
My 9 yo has always been picky. We have consistently said to just try it. She still puts up a fight so we have a bead jar that is used as a reward if she tries the food. For example, she gets 3 beads to put in her jar if she takes a good size bite & swallows it. She gets a simple prize when her bead level gets to certain points on the jar. She also earns beads for chores around the house. It works for us.
Christina says
I smuggled extra puréed veggies into almost all of my kids food :)
Megan @Chaos Served Daily says
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Megan @Chaos Served Daily says
We have three adopted (and not genetically related) kids...and they all eat everything...maybe they're French? ;0) Our "rule" has always been that they have to eat 1 bite per age they are (the 3 year-old eats 3 bites of everything, etc) and by the time they're in school, they're eating all of what I give them...and asking for more. I'm a personal chef, and make a main dish and two sides most nights...we occasionally have pizza or burgers, but the pizzas are healthy, homemade ones and the burgers are loaded with fresh vegetable toppings. Not that I'm a perfect mom...far from it...this has just worked for us.
Sally says
My advice is to keep up with the one bite rule indefinitely. It often takes many exposures to a food before a child (or picky adult) will accept it. My daughter is using it with her fiance so he will be a good example for future children!
Also, check Le Billon's blog at karenlebillon.com.
Hayley says
like :)
Kris says
Everyone takes a "no thank you" bite
Hayley says
I let my little one come with me to Trader Joe's and the supermarket. He loves it! He picks something out, we prepare it together and he MUST try it once it's cooked. He doesn't have to eat it all if he genuinely doesn't like it, but he must try everything on his plate. And honestly, sometimes... BRIBERY! If he wants that delicious peach cobbler we made for dessert, he's got to eat some brussels sprouts. And most of the time, he actually likes it!
Corly Wilson says
Like :)
Corly Wilson says
At dinnertime, no matter what i make the kids must try at least a bite of it. We are lucky with my older son as he will try and like almost anything; with my younger son, we often find he will end up liking and eating something that he didn't want to eat originally. Also, I think we should offer foods that kids don't like over and over agin so they aquire a taste for it. My son didn't use to like raw tomatoes or peppers but after being served those vegetables a couple of times a month and being encouraged to try them each time, he likes them now.
Lauren says
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Lauren says
"Green" smoothies! Strawberries and bananas mask the flavor of spinach and add some ground flaxseed for some Omega power. It works everytime.
Josephine says
Like!
Sarah says
My 2 1/2 yd old tends to be great about food, but she really loves helping out on the kitchen - making her own little pizza, mixing muffin batter and sticking berries on them, or spreading peanut butter.