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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Starr says
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Jennifer M says
I limit sweets and choose natural options like fruit. I dehydrate veggies and fruit as well as make juices for the kids. One tip is to let picky eaters have fun with their food like using dips.
Starr says
I try to add interesting flavors since I noticed my son prefers things like balsamic vinegar strawberries to plain strawberries. I also like to make dips out of yogurt and veggies or fruit so he can have a little fun while he eats. I have also noticed he is more likely to eat something if someone else gives it to him, like friends or other adults.
Jen says
I am a fan on FB. Thanks!
Jen says
Ha, I don't have a lot of picky eater tips. My picky 2.5 year odl will just barely eat for days if he doesn't like what's being served! But one thing we've had some success with is tasting. He has to taste things and then, if he doesn't want it, he doesn't have to keep eating. Often he will protest but then relent and taste. When asked, he says he likes it, but then he won't eat a second bite. So frustrating! I'm just hoping that over time the exposure to new flavors builds up and he eventually wants to try new things.
Tammy N. says
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Tammy N. says
We just keep offering at multiple meals. At some point, one of the kids will decide to try it if we're not making it a big deal.
Matt Rich Jr says
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Jessica Webster says
I only serve one dinner choice. Everyone must try at least one bite of everything on their plates. Eat as much or little as you want. This avoids power struggles and when the kids are really hungry, they eat.
Nic says
Unfortunately I have fallen into the trap of making adult meals and children's meals. It's so time consuming and stressful I could really use this book to help me out. I don't have any tips to offer, but I am writing down the ones everyone else has shared. Thank you ;)
Danielle P. says
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Leesa says
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Leesa says
My best picky eater tip is that I don't make a big deal about it. If my 2 year old doesn't want to eat something I might try "mommy thinks its yummy and I'm going to eat it if you don't want it". If that doesn't make him reconsider then I just say ok, I guess your not hungry and we end the meal. Not harshly, just ok we're done. He's usually hungry by the next meal and if he asked for a snack an hour or two later I'd give him a piece of cheese or something, but he usually doesn't ask:)
Danielle P. says
My son is almost four years old and I had this idea that he would hate all healthy foods just because he was a kid but as I keep adding more whole foods he just keeps gobbling them up! He will eat a spinach salad if I remind him to eat his leaves. He doesn't like the stems but I'm ok with that!
We love to have smoothies for breakfast and my son helps me load the blender. A few mornings ago my son had his daddy make him a smoothie and I was so excited to hear him say "daddy don't forget the salad" We don't hide the fact that there are veggies but the fruit flavor overpowers them. Love it!
Mari Ana Muniz says
We usually make the vegetables into art on a plate. The kids eat them every time.
Lisa says
My kids are more likely, and actually excited, to eat a meal when they helped prepare it.
Kelly P says
Starting off early and be consistent. Also, get kids involved with cooking or preparing.
Danielle says
Give your child the produce section of the weekly ad from the grocery store, along with a magic marker. Tell him to circle at least two fruits/vegetables that he would like to try this week. When you get to the store, send him on a "mission" to find those foods (with your help). Include him in the preparation of the food, too, by giving him simple tasks. The more invested kids are in the food they are eating, the more willing they are to be adventurous!
Tiffany says
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Rebecca C says
I let them help cook. Only problem is my 4 year old LOVES to help cook, but will cook 'for mommy' or 'for daddy' or someone else. So she will love the cooking of dinner but refuse to eat it.
Tiffany says
We are going to start a garden in the spring. I've heard that if the help grow it, they are usually more interested in eating it.
Cecilia says
Liked on FB
Michelle says
Oh, one more great tip- have them help cook! Even my 20 month old, when he gets to sprinkle the cinnamon in his oatmeal he can't wait to dig in!
Misty says
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Christy Kennon says
My son will finally eat salad now that I use spinach leaves and a yummy dressing such as raspberry or strawberry vinagarette!
Madison M. says
I wish I had some tips to leave. I have a picky husband which feels worse than a picky child because I can't force him to eat anything or have any rules they have to follow. The other day he was making himself fried rice and I handed him my soy sauce and immediately he was like, "NO I don't want that nasty gluten-free soy sauce!" Um... IT TASTES THE SAME!! Something that is deemed "healthy" is automatically disgusting. How old is my husband, four?!?! I'v been making lots of new things recently or just mixing foods in new ways (tuna with guac) and I ask him to try it all but so far he hasn't tried ANYTHING I make. If he does he automatically gives me a nasty face like he doesn't like it. Sometimes the face starts before the food touches his tongue. It's ridiculous! I need this book! lol!
KaeleyAnne says
Put many different foods in small amounts on the plate rather than larger portions of just a couple of different foods.
Heather says
Since finding your blog I have started just not buying packaged "stuff" any more and am replacing with whole foods. Tonight my daughter and I made muffins from scratch because she wanted muffins for her lunch (I've committed to packing their lunches!) and it was a great time to teach her how to measure stuff out etc etc. Even though they weren't the tastiest muffins ever because she'd help make them she ate one. Next time I'm picking out the recipe we use (lesson learned!)I'd heard getting them involved in the cooking helped them want to try it, guess muffin lesson was proof for this mommy ~
Jennifer says
Only one tip? That will be hard; I have a lot! : ) If I can only name one, it would be to avoid talking about foods kids don’t like in front of them.
If a child hears you say, “My child doesn’t like broccoliâ€, it's establishing in their mind that they don’t like broccoli, and the child will be less likely to eat it. Kids quickly “catch on".
If a parent maintains a positive and relaxed attitude, stocks the frig and pantry with real food, and serves it in delicious ways, kids are more likely to eventually want to eat it – unless the parent tells them they don’t like it : )
carmie says
We would tell them to have 3 more bites like a hockey player, dinosaur, etc. Then we would tell them to take as many bites as their age. Sometimes we would keep going until all was gone. Sometimes we have offered a piece of chocolate or chocolate chip if they eat all the bites. :)
Kristen Turner says
I have B/G twins. Both have loved all kinds of fruit since they started eating solids. My son eats everything except avocados. And I mean everything. My daughter, on the other hand, is my picky eater. She used to be carb girl, eating only cheese and bread/pasta. The book Monsters Don't Eat Broccoli helped us to get her to eat broccoli "leaves," and she also adores her pediatrician, so I have him tell her she must eat more veggies every chance he can. Recently, however, we have turned a corner. When we restricted dairy in her diet, amazingly, she starting eating more veggies and less carbs. Now she has a rule that she has to eat something green. Tonight she asked for spinach, we we wrap around strawberries for her.
ilo says
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Rachel Frost says
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Carol says
like!
Rachel Frost says
Use fun names for veggies like super spy carrots (since they're good for your eyes) so it makes eating them more fun and try arranging them in fun shapes or using cookie cutters to cut them into fun shapes.
Carol says
I have gotten my 2.5 year old to eat a lot more veggies by having her come to the garden with me and help me pick what we having for dinner. She also likes to help me cook by eating some foods while I cook :)
Lori Lochmiller says
"like"
Melissa says
For my picky 1 year old I puree veggies and mix them in with my homemade cheese sauce for "mac and cheese". Still that cheesy taste but with the added benefits of broccoli, peas, spinach, or whatever veggie is in the fridge. I also make berry and plain greek yogurt smoothies for her since she won't eat yogurt and refuses to drink milk.
Rhonda says
My 2 year old is a picky eater. I've found he does much better if I offer something, but give no indication that it's important for him to eat it. I just offer and let him decide. Otherwise it's a power struggle. And I never
make deals with him, like "if you eat your veggies you can have dessert," because I don't want him to think that veggies are the horror you endure in order to get to the goo stuff (dessert).
Lori Lochmiller says
We take "age appropriate" bites before we decide if we like a dish. My 4 year old takes 4 bites and my 2 year old takes 2. My 4 year old even brags to my 2 year old that she gets to take more bites!