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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Natalia says
If the kids are going to have a sweet, I have them eat something fresh and healthy first. That's how they "earn" dessert.
Hope says
Our kids help us prepare and cook our meals. We also encourage "please taste before you say you don't like it."
Erin Lingard says
We try to teach our kids why it is important to eat healthy.
Katie Rogers says
My son is 16 months old and has never really been a picky eater but when he is a little fussy about his food ( think toddler finicky fussy) I take the food he won't eat and put it on my plate. Then I eat a piece or two has he watches and soon he's asking for some too. He will eat anything we eat this way so he gets a good variety and has learned to love healthy, real food and enjoy mealtime with others around him.
Claire says
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Stacey says
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Stacey says
We have an organic food service delivery and my daughters help decide what to order.
Claire says
They always eat what we eat!
Simply Well with Michelle says
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Simply Well with Michelle says
My kids help plan our menus. They know each meal has to include certain components but they get to choose within my guidelines.
Christine says
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Christine says
I have always fed my son what we were eating, since he was able to eat real food. If I am making something particularly spicy, I make something else to go with it that he can eat in place of spicy whatever, but besides that, dinner is dinner. I fix his plate just like mine, and he has so eat some of everything. I let him choose his own breakfast (from a set of options I approve of), and let him participate in the weekly meal planning so he feels like he has some control too. I am glad to say he usually makes some pretty good dinner choices...
Cristi says
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Elizabeth says
Let them eat straight from the garden! It's so exciting to pick a green bean and consume it immediately. They seem to feel more in charge if what they're eating since they're picking it out.
Tracy says
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Tracy says
Serve the salad / veggies first when they're most hungry. Then say when you finish those, you can have the next thing , which is something they prefer. Also positive peer pressure when they see less picky older siblings eating the salad/veggies. (and hope your oldest isn't too picky :) )
Alana says
Would love to read this to help me encourage my daughter to want better REAL foods instead of her speghetti o's and canned raviolis. She is doing better now that we aren't asking her what she wants and having her have at least 1 bite...usually if I help her she will eat the rest of whatever we are having her try!
Shelly says
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Shelly says
I have a very picky eater. We grow different vegetables in our garden and also make weekly tips to different farmers markets. I have been quite surprised at some of the things he has tried! Micro greens - radish & broccoli were the most recent. There is hope!!
Karen says
My once picky, eldest daughter has chosen to eat healthy/clean/organic for the next four years and to write to all the congressman and representatives about labeling GMO's. She is doing this as a challenge project as a requirement for high school graduation and because she and I have become addicted to your website and have watched several videos you have suggested. We want to get the rest of the family on board. Would love this book!
Jamie says
I made the mistake of not trying foods over and over again for my 5 year old son. I have however repeatedly tried new foods with my 2 year old daughter. My son is getting better except for veggies and this book should help because I worry he is not getting enough vitamins and minerals.
Melissa R says
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Melissa R says
Pixky eater tip; try, try, try again. Keep presenting foods kids are resistant to, more familiarity = more likely to try. And be patient. What they don't like today, they may in a year or two.
Leia says
We just don't buy a lot of processed food as a result our child doesn't like chicken nuggets and doesn't beg for junk food. She enjoys helping me cook in the kitchen, also. I have implemented some of these rules recently and she has become an even better eater! Can't wait to read the book!
Julia says
A fan on Facebook
Nicki says
My husband and I go to the Farmer's Market together and pick out new things to try. He is more willing to try something new if we have made the decision together vs. something new appearing on the table... our latest venture- kale!
Jan J. says
I find that pureeing veggies into a creamy soup gets a lot of good stuff in my kids as they can't tell what they are eating LOL! But really they have been raised on pounds-a-week of fruits and veggies and are not that picky.
Julia says
Let them help grow food in your garden!
Jamie Del Balso says
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Jamie Del Balso says
My kids are fortunately not very picky. I think the key is to start young (when they first start eating). Give them a variety and repeat disliked foods until they are liked -do not start off with processed baby foods, give them what you are eating.
cassandra sm says
I feel that some picky eaters are being over generalized here. My little sister was picky but would try most things . My cousins would starve to death before eating something that he/she didn't like. I am not sure that the whole one bite and persistence can really solve that kind of problem.
Melissa says
Best picky eater tip: I don't give them a choice. They don't have to eat all of what they don't like, but they may have to eat 3 bites before being excused from the table.
Also, start them early. My kids LOVE fruits and veggies. I give them spinich everyday instead of lettuce on sandwiches, in wraps and in salads. Kids will crave what is good for them, whether it is healthy food, schedules, rules.. etc..
Kate Cooper says
"you can have this, or this", works pretty good in my house.
EHakin says
Sometimes I will put my red kidney beans in the blinder and then mix it in my chili,my girls dont even know they are eating beans;but they are! sneek sneek;)
Brandon says
Grow a garden! My kids will at least try anything they helped plant and pick. After doing it for a few years, they have gotten really excited about picking out unique seeds to plant and it is mostly things they would never dream of trying if just bought at the grocery store.
Andrea Brown says
I don’t have a lot of picky eater tips. My picky 6 year old does not like sauces or condiments of any kind so I can't use that to get him to try more foods. He is pretty healthy overall and loves his fruit.
Naomi says
Like following on facebook!
Naomi says
I know this may not sound right but I'm blessed that my son is blind and he isn't really picky because he can't see what he's eating. It's more of a texture and smell that gets him eating well. For this reason he LOVES most veggies and fruits and asks for healthy foods most of the time. When he doesn't like something I always tell him to smell first and then taste a small bite, if he likes he will eat but if the first two experiences are not good he will not continue.
Melissa B says
I have found just to keep giving it to him until he tries it. We have a rule that you don't have to like it you just have to try it. Also he loves to help cook even if he is only 2.5 years old.
Jennifer M says
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