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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Diane says
Don't make special meals - everyone eats the same meal.
Heather W.W. says
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Stephanie says
We grow a garden together, go to Farmer's markets every week together, cook healthy foods together, and talk about healthy foods.......me and my 3 year old.
Tracy P says
Like :)
Tracy P says
When my son is very hungry, I give him fruit, yogurt and veggie sticks to tide him over until I'm done cooking....little does he know I purposefully do this so he fills up on the good stuff first.
Heather says
I have two horribly picky eaters but both of them love frozen strawberry grape juice. As they always want dessert after dinner I decided that dessert didn't necessarily mean "sugar". I freeze the strawberry grape juice in Popsicle molds and they get one if they try everything on their plate without argument. The juice is made with whole fruit (Vitamix) so at least I know they are getting a bit of healthy even when they are picky.
Sally says
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Sally says
I involve my children in the food preparation and cooking. They feel more involved and are more willing to taste something they have helped to make. We also use the "you need to taste it but don't have to eat it" rule, which helps introduce new foods and flavors.
Heather W. says
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Heather W. says
I just keep offering the same vegetable over and over again. I don't make my child eat it all but she has to take a bite. Eventually after exposing her multiple times, she starts to like the food.
I agree with you about the schools working against us. My oldest just started kindergarten and I am appalled at the foods they are serving my child. I have tried bringing in snacks for her, and they are just cast aside. Anyway I would love to have a copy of this book to find more tips to get her to eat a bigger variety of healthy foods.
Sara E says
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Mary Jo says
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Mary Jo says
I puree certain vegetables my son says he doesn't like & mix them in with the food to get him more adjusted to the flavor.
Sara E says
As a wife and mother, I cook for two picky eaters. When I realized that I was constantly cooking multiple meals, I had to take a step back. No more pre-dinner snacks- just a glass of water. I also encourage a "thank you bite". They don't have to like it, just eat a bite or three with grace. :) Things are slowly getting better!
Judy H. says
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Judy H. says
My son helps pick peas at our CSA farm and goes with me every week to get our vegetables. He sees real food and were it comes from.
Kelly says
If you don't buy it, they won't eat it! Works at home anyway. Also, organic fruits and vegetables are not just better for you and our environment, but they also taste soooo much better! Especially the bananas & potatoes.
Brad says
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Brad says
Insisting that they take one bite of things they don't like or don't want to eat.
Amy FJ says
Like!
amy says
Picky eater tip-- let them pick the veggies fresh from the yard!
Kim says
We've been lucky in that our kids are not picky, although like any of us, they do have their preferences. I try to ensure if it's a lesser liked meal for one kid one night, I go for a fave of theirs the next. I don't mind smaller portions for the lesser preferred, but they do know they will be expected to eat that smaller portion. My kids love getting their snack from the tree or the ground (beans & carrots). I love summer for that!
Vickie says
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Vickie says
We eat family style. The food is on the table and we pass it around. The kids serve them selves (ages 3, 5, & 7). This encourages them to "own" their plate of food and try what they have chosen to put on it.
Kristen says
I definitely live by the "you may not like it, but you have to try it" meal rule. For parties, where there tends to be an overabundance of imitation food, I plan ahead and bring a favorite treat for my girls (popcorn, Krispy treats, pumpkin-pear muffin, etc. All homemade) and offer a small portion of the cake etc. or their very own special treat. They like having something special for themselves.
Victoria says
Well I am very fortunate that both my girls are not picky eaters. My first has a few exceptions like no eggs and needs some time to try new veggies. My second daughter will gladly eat anything and everything all day long, if I let her. She is not afraid to try new things, all types of seafood and even frog legs, yuck. My picky eater is my husband and he is set in his ways. He is the challenge on this real food journey. He is meat and potatoes and mac n cheese simple plain eater. Only starchy veggies and lettuce. No sauces or dressings. He always tells me to make whatever I want and that if he doesn't eat it he is grown and will make do. Which is nice but kind of a bummer to cook and not have the whole family eat. My only advice is persistence, keep going until the real food is our norm and not something new.
Amanda E. says
Our rule is that you must try everything on your plate. If you really hate it, then you are allowed to spit it out into your napkin (I know it is disgusting, but it does get my kids to try everything). They are allowed one food that they don't like (my daughter's is tomatoes) that they do not have to try if it is on their plate. However, if they decide they want to replace their one "dislike" food, then they must begin trying their original "dislike" every time it is on the plate.
Michelle Deuling says
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Michelle Deuling says
I work with a special needs child that is extremely picky.(he could live on chicken nuggets and pizza) I encourage him to take a bite of "this veggie" first before he gets his favorite food and we do that several times, almost making a game of it until his vegetables and other food are gone.
Scott C says
Lisa,
Concerning your Takeaway #5: don't eat the same dish more than once a week- your comment, "We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver…" proves takeaway #1: "Americans cram our schedules so full ..." Maybe you should consider making smaller meals so there are no leftovers... and "teach [y]our children 'some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food.'†Smile, they were your takaways.
Amanda says
I stick to the "you don't have to like it but you have to try it". And almost always turns into a love for new foods!
kelly :) says
best tip for our already-finicky-19 month old... promise him something he will like if he eats something he doesn't want or have patience for. 1 berry for a bite of beans #lengthydinners
Karen Stroup says
I used to think I was a picky eater until I married and had kids! My husband and kids are off-the-charts picky. I try to include at least one thing that everyone likes at each dinnertime meal. Instead of making 3 or 4 different meals, I try to make one meal that can be prepared slightly differently for the pickiest family member, such as making tacos, but setting aside some ground beef before the spices are added and putting out hard shells and flour tortillas. It is a constant struggle!
Scott C says
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Scott C says
Post POSITIVE reminders on your refrigerator and pantry doors: "Remember to eat a healthy snack" and not "Don't eat junk food". Our brains filter out negatives when filing thoughts, so "Don't eat junk food" becomes a nagging thought: "...eat junk food." Even "Don't forget to eat a healthy snack" becomes "...forget to eat a healthy snack." Positive reminders will help reinforce the message and the goal that you are striving to achieve.
Katie Sears says
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Katie Sears says
My kids love to cook the meal and therefore are proud and most of the time eat it!
samantha says
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samantha says
we do a bountiful basket co op every week and it allows my children to try new things
Natalia says
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