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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
Jen says
Like!!!
Samantha M says
You have to have one or two bites and then you can have a PB&J but no desert!
Jen says
I give my picky eater small bites to try. She's in ballet so we talk about how the specific food she is eating will help her body become better for dancing. It doesn't make her like everything but over the last 4 years her ability to eat a wider variety of foods has improved. "It doesn't have to be your favorite to be acceptable."
Samantha M says
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Samantha says
What works best for us is they have to try the food with one or two good bites and then we can have a peanut butter & jelly but no desert. If they want desert they have to eat the dinner the family eats :)
Deanna says
Like!! My daughter is so picky and will only eat a certain brand of chicken nuggets and will only eat Kraft macaroni and cheese. If we are out at a restaurant and they don't have Kraft, then she refuses to eat. I could just let her go hungry but I want her to eat something!! Help. Thanks!
Michelle says
This looks VERY interesting! Would love to read more about eating " real food".
Karen Littlewood says
Our kids do not my like carbs; odd, I know, but after countless times of being invited for dinner where a 'special' meal was made for the kids- spaghetti, tater tots, mashed potatoes, etc, we had to speak up to save the embarrassing looks of disgust from our brood. "The kids will eat whatever is being served, thanks!". Salmon, steak, veggies of all kinds...down the hatch! We now know why good friends of
ours call them "f@&&ing nuggets"...because they're so tired of that being considered a meal for their kids.
Natalie says
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Natalie says
I add puréed veggies that my girls wont eat on their own to any sauce we eat.
Debbie says
Liked!
Debbie says
I need help on how to have a healthy eater! I would love to have this book!
Thank you!
Heather says
My son isn't a picky eater but my husband is! As my son is being exposed to more poor eating habits (at school especially) he's now claiming to not like many more things. I just remind him of all the dishes he's loved that have it and tell him he has to try 3 bites and then can pass.
Jen (yup, another one) says
It's a standard expectation that if there is something new at the table they have to taste it. We don't make a big deal; it's just the way it is. (Unfortunately, they aren't LIKING much if anything of what they try, so I need the book!)
Jen says
Liked!
Jen says
Like!! I am fortunate not to have a picky eater but I need help on how to have a healthy eater!!
Megan says
We have started teaching our daughter to cook, she is 8 1/2 and very fussy about what she likes and does not like. I find the more she helps, the more likely she is to at least try it.
Samantha P says
LIKE!
Samantha P says
Grow a garden and grow it with your children! If they pick it, they usually love to eat it. The more children are involved in the process of preparing the food, the more invested they are in the outcome (aka more excited to at least try it, if not love it!)
For picky eaters offer a choice in quantity when serving the food. The child knows that they have to at least try it, but they get to decide how much (a large, medium, small.....or for the pickiest eaters - "a fairy bite"
Sherry W says
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Sherry W says
For our picky eater we take her with us to the grocery store to choose a few different veggies/fruit to try out. It gives her a chance to control her eating while widening our food variety. She is always expected to try something new. Although we never enforce eating dis-liked food. Sometimes children don't eat things because their body knows better (allergies, or intolerant)which is why she has some say in what she is willing to try as well.
grace c. says
the mantra that my daughter picked up from the chef of a kids cooking class at Whole Foods is "try one bite!" so whenever she's resistant to eating something, i remind her of what "Chef Flo" said during class, then she willingly tries at least one bite, and is often pleasantly surprised that she doesn't "dislike" the food as much as she thought she would and ends up eating more than she intended.
Doris says
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Doris says
I remind my kids that they sometimes need to learn to like new foods and insist on one bite and if they still don't like it then they can try again next time. It's amazing what foods they have learned to like!
Maya says
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Maya says
For our picky eater it helps to eat with a not so picky friend. She eats or at least tries the new food because her friend is eating it too.
Mary-Jo says
I have a two-step suggestion for "picky-eaters". #1 would be to have a big brother like our Joshua, who would eat anything, everything and just loved food - and he did so much to encourage little sister Emily with his "yummmy-yum-yums" and "ohhh, this is so so good" comments. Little Emmy could hardly resist. #2 was to give Emily food in little bits and bites, many colors, like snack-sized food. Too much food on a plate was overwhelming to Em, and she didn't like it. We found that if broccoli was served as little trees, and chicken was in neat small cubes, etc - it was fun to eat and she enjoyed a lot more variety.
Megan says
I don't have any children myself, but I take care of my 13 year old sister who used to eat out of boredom. She only wanted to eat what she knew she liked, which wasn't all that great. I got her to enjoy healthy foods by letting her go with me to the farmers markets, pick her own veggies and fruits and turn them into whatever dish she wanted. Now when we go to the grocery she has her own list of what she is going to create and thankfully, it is always a healthy choice.
amanda says
We have a 2 year old and a 4 year old. The four year old has gone from being a picky eater to an eat everything in site-er. The 2 year old is definitely a work in progress because the foods he will eat are very limited. We try to make sure we have one thing they both like at dinner. Big brother tries almost every food, sometimes" showing" little brother how to eat it. Sometimes this works to help little brother , sometimes not. At any rate, big brother is encouraging because he was once a picky eater as well.
Alicia J says
To get the kids to eat vegetables, I put out the vegetable course of dinner before the meat/protein or carb and they can have the next course once they have at least tried the vegetable (if new) or eaten a decent portion if it is something they already like.
Lisa says
I like you on facebook :)
Lisa says
my best tip is to make sure they don't snack so that they are hungry when the meal comes around and to do courses with the veggies first. End with whatever is filling/they like.
Kym says
Like!
Kym says
Being a nutriton instructor in our elementary, my kids have grown to love different foods and taking "adventure bites". The biggest tip I give parents is, "If you don't want your kids to eat junk food, don't buy it! You're in control, not them"
Janell says
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Janell says
I tell the picky eater that her taste buds are going to like a particular food as she gets older and and today may be the day! That gets at least one bite in the mouth and often more.
Christina says
I do make my kids try something but I'm still in the battle with picky eaters! I need this book!
Sandra Ambroise says
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Sandra Ambroise says
It helps when I tell my daughter it's "princess"-food. A lot of times she doesn't even want to try, but after I tell her it's princess-food, she tries and eats!
Diane says
Like.