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Now I will say, as motivated as I felt after reading the book, there's one huge component we’re lacking here in America. Apparently, in France, their schools, governments, and communities all work “together to create food and education systems that support parents in feeding their children well.” I don’t know about you, but I oftentimes feel like others are working against me (not with me) when it comes to feeding our next generation well. My daughters eat more junk food at school than I would ever dream of giving them at home. I can’t imagine how much easier things would be if everyone in our society was on the same page like they appear to be in France.
But rather than waiting around for that to happen we must just take matters into our own hands. And what I have learned from my own children is that converting a picky eater requires a gentle, yet persistent approach and LOTS of patience! Winning over a picky eater is not something that will happen overnight, but if you really make it a priority in weeks, months, or even a year I guarantee you will start to see some of the dramatic changes you are hoping for. And in the end it will of course be worth the effort.
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10 great takeaways (the “French Food Rules”) from the book French Kids Eat Everything:
- Parents: You are in charge of your children’s food education.
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Apparently the French think us Americans cram our schedules so full with activities (like sports, art, music, dance, etc.) that it leaves little time to teach our children "some of the most basic, important things they need to know, like the proper way to prepare, cook, and eat healthy food." You have to admit it's hard to argue with that criticism. And I just love the analogy the author uses when she says, "French parents think about healthy eating habits the way we think about toilet training, or reading." If your child had trouble learning to read or using the potty would you just give up? Same should go for eating a variety of healthy foods...I know, they are right and it stings.
- - Avoid emotional eating. Food is not a pacifier, a distraction, a toy, a bribe, a reward, or a substitute for discipline.
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I feel like we are so far down this rabbit hole it might be hard to get out, but let’s face it they have a good point here! Food is for nourishment, hunger, and nutrition...not for being a good listener.
- - Parents schedule meals and menus. Kids eat what adults eat: no substitutes and no short-order cooking.
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If this were a reality for everyone it would certainly make life a lot easier!
- - Food is social. Eat family meals together at the table, with no distractions.
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How you eat can be as important as what you eat.
- - Eat vegetables of all colors of the rainbow. Don’t eat the same main dish more than once per week.
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I agree that variety is extremely important, but I am personally a little stumped when it comes to the second half of this rule. We love leftovers at our house and feel they are such a time saver...but that certainly means eating the same main dish more than once, or in some cases, more than twice per week!
- - For picky eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to taste it.
For fussy eaters: You don’t have to like it, but you do have to eat it.
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When considering these statements it's also VERY important to remember that "you're not going to convince the kids to love food by being too strict with them. It has to be enjoyable. Not necessarily loads of fun, but simply pleasurable." This takes us back to that "gentle persistence" I mentioned above.
- - Limit snacks, ideally one per day (two maximum), and not within one hour of meals.
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Now, I know out of all the rules on this list that "no more constant snacking" will likely cause the most uproar. But according to the author it's okay to feel hungry in-between meals and guess what...your kids might eat a better dinner if they are actually hungry!
- - Take your time, for both cooking and eating. Slow food is happy food.
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"North Americans associate food most with health and least with pleasure. The French are at the opposite extreme: they are the most pleasure-oriented and the least health-oriented about food." And ironically enough "20 percent of kids in the United States are obese, but only 3 percent in France." Now if that doesn't send a message, I don't know what does.
- - Eat mostly real, homemade food, and save treats for special occasions. (Hint: Anything processed is not “real” food.)
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See...I am not the only one preaching this statement! :) But "so much of what French people eat is, by default, 'real food'" so I'd have to say they don't exactly face the same challenges we do when it comes to encountering junk food on almost every corner. The French do have an admirable approach though when it comes to the processed, junk food their kids may want to eat on occasion. They do not police their children's food intake (or ban all junk food), but instead attempt to "train their children to eat a balanced diet and to realize how much healthier they feel if they eat mostly 'real food.'" I've always said that if my daughters only avoid processed food "because mommy said so" then it's not going to get us very far.
- - (The Golden Rule) Eating is joyful, not stressful. Treat the food rules as habits or routines rather than strict regulations; it’s fine to relax them once in a while.
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I couldn't agree more with the importance of this rule, but striking the perfect balance between "good nutrition" and "relaxing the rules" is no easy task. And maybe that's because most American children are faced with processed, junk food on a regular basis (at birthday parties, friend's houses, church events, soccer practice, school celebrations, etc.). As I mentioned above, our society is (unfortunately) not exactly working together on these issues like they are in France. Regardless though, I agree it is not "healthy" to constantly be stressed out about the food you eat.
In addition to this list of rules there were so many other startling facts and insightful statements that I took away from this book. I wish I could share them all here, but since that's not a very practical idea I will instead just highly recommend that everyone go out and read the book yourselves! I promise you won't regret it...not to mention there are a handful of kid-friendly recipes in the back.
*THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED*
The winners are:
- Ann - "I abide by the kids eat what adults eat rule and don’t offer other options. We also stick to real foods, minimal sugar. So I think that helps kids eat real food without complaint."
- Emily - "My husband can be a picky eater, so my trick is preparing the same food a number of times. He may not like everything, but perseverance pays off!"
- Nicky - "Rule #6 is the big one in our house….even if you’ve tasted it 50 times, taste it again!"
JIll says
On Sunday night I drag out my cookbooks. My son and daughter each get to choose one meal that I will make during the week. My son is notoriously picky, yet his choices surprise me. When he chooses, it feels like 'his' meal. He then actively participates in the preparation and is invested when it is time to eat!!
Cheryl says
Like!
Cheryl says
I would love the French Kids Eat Everything book.
My best picky eater tip would be to add veggies to sauces, smoothies, etc. Once they have enjoyed them, let them know what they are eating and have them get involved with the food preparation process. We also encourage trying new foods at home and when eating out.
Valerie C. says
liked on Facebook
Valerie C. says
I wish that I'd gotten my son to eat more vegetables. He's a barrel-chested Marine now...they Marines can make him march 10 miles with a 70 lb pack, but they couldn't get him to eat a salad, either!
Megan says
I have a 4-month-old, so I haven't yet (and hope to never have to) battled a picky eater. I am reading "Bringing Up Bebe" and am thoroughly enjoying learning the French perspective on child-rearing. I firmly believe that if my husband and I model good eating habits, and that from the beginning my baby eats what I eat (currently via breastmilk and later by doing baby-led weaning), my daughter will not have the option of becoming a picky eater. If she isn't given the alternative "kid friendly" option, she'll learn to eat what is offered, as has been the case for children for thousands of years. Am I being naive?
Debbie says
There is no one vegetable that everyone in the family likes, so cooking 3 or more different things
(catering) to everyones likes got to be a hassle. Hiding veges in sauces, muffins, and soups has been a winner. Some like their vegetables raw and some like them cooked, texture seems to be a big factor.
Suzanna Nunes says
My mom had always a garden in the yard which made it so easy for fresh veggies to be picked and eaten if we wanted a snack. Now that I live in an apartment it's difficult to not have "snack foods" around in order to not feel hungry. The tip about allowing yourself to feel hungry is a good thing made sense to me because that used to be the case at my parents house. I will have to go back to allowing myself to feel hungry instead of always content or over stuffing myself.
Bess Camp says
I spent a couple of weeks visiting an orphanage in Zambia. One thing that struck me was the way the 18 mo - 3 year group of about 15 children would eat. At meal time they would all sit in a circle (on the ground, no high chairs) and be given their bowl of food and a spoon. They would sit still and eat every bite, laughing and visiting with each other and their care takers. No tantrums, no getting up and running around, no food picky-ness. I tried to think about what was different about their eating patterns from most American toddlers and here is what I came up with:
1. They were hungry at mealtime (no snacking between meals).
2. It was a routine, same times everyday, same eating rituals.
3. This style of eating was modeled to them, it was expected they would be grateful for the food provided and stay seated, part of the group, during the mealtime.
4. Mealtime was an important social event in their lives.
5. Meal time with these Zambian children was a pleasant, enjoyable time. Not the chore and battleground it frequently is in American homes.
Sheila says
Like!!!!
Jennifer says
Like!!!
Jennifer says
Our little one (19 mos) is picky about veggies. We have found that if we serve veggies first with no other options on her plate she usually gobbles them right up. We also disguise veggies in things (smoothies is a big one). Another thing we do is try to involve them in grocery shopping and cooking of the food. They take pride in being big enough to help and therefor excited to eat their creations.
Heather ODonnell says
like
Heather ODonnell says
I have usually resorted to good, old-fashioned bribery. Not my best parenting moments. We need help in our house. If I could get my husband on board, things would probably be easier.
Jill Marshall says
I put a lot of the veggies that they don't like in soups and they really eat them. Somehow they don't taste as bad in soups.
Jill Marshall says
Like!!
Becky says
Like!!
Monica P. says
Like!
Monica P. says
I throw vegetables in our fruit smoothies and call them Monster Smoothies. I set some aside and make popsicles with it, too. He eats Kale and Spinach without realizing it.
Leane says
Like :)
Leane says
Start early by offering babies (at the appropriate age of course) the healthy foods you are eating at meals instead of only making them what is often seen as "kid" foods. Instead of bribing and ordering kids to eat, suggest they try things and talk about the food you are eating - where it comes from, how it is grown and made.
SCB says
I a facebook fan too!
SCB says
"am" needed to be in there too...whoops!
SCB says
My husband is the picky eater. I have stopped giving him choices and started just giving him dinner. :-) He is amazed that he likes asparagus now!
Carol says
I'm a fb fan too!
Carol says
Our children love eating fresh veggies out of our garden! Especially if they have helped plant them. :)
angela says
My boy is only 7 months old, so we haven't entered the picky eater stage yet. I take notes from my sister-in-law in regards to helping kids be "open-eaters". When she goes to the pool she doesn't give her kids cheese doodles and 'now and laters' (those were my pool staples when I was a kid), she brings different colored stips of peppers, cut strawberries, cut carrot and celery sticks, and lots of water. Her kids don't ask for other snacks because they have come to know and love the snacks their mother provides.
tasha says
I use a muffin pan for a 'snack tray' and fill the cups up with different fruit/veggies, using different 'colors' everytime. They named it the rainbow tray, and eat more fruit/veggies that way, without me having to nag
Lee Ann says
Like.
Lee Ann says
I have tried many of these tips already, but despite continuing to present whole foods meal after meal (particularly veggies), acceptance at my house has not improved. I would like to read this book to see if I could learn some new/better approaches.
Jill says
One thing that seems to change my boys attitude towards food is eating by candle light. We always did this when they were little, and it seemed to get them in the habit of trying things (maybe because they couldn't see them well). They're still kind of picky, but getting them to try a bite is starting to help.
Erika says
Like!
Erika says
My husband is Very picky but I find if I don't make a big deal of something 'strange' we are eating he doesn't usually notice and then by the time he does he's eaten it and hasn't minded it.
Desi Rose says
I agree with an earlier comment! Many parents will bring junk food into the home and then are upset when that's all the little ones want. I wont ever allow things like soda to cross our threshold. If they kids want soda, they can have it for meals out if the house, yet they rarely request it because my husband and I don't drink it or give it as an option.
lindsey case says
My son wont eat much raw veggies besides carrots! As long as things are steamed or cook it is all over them!
Lauren says
One of my friends called broccoli "little trees", and her kids liked the thought of eating trees :)
Kristin says
The blender is my best friend! I can blend any veggies into a pasta sauce and my kids will eat them! When I serve them on the side, they act as if they are being tortured.
Stephanie Larson says
I use NurturMe dehydrated baby food and add it to everything. I've also found that persistance pays off. Even though it is frusterating....if I offer something enough eventually he will try it and sometimes he even likes it! :)
Stephanie Larson says
Like
Danielle V. says
like
Danielle V. says
I like the tip of involving your kids in picking out the ingredients (i.e. vegetables) and helping with preparing the meal.