In case you missed it there was a conundrum on my Facebook page yesterday – after I learned my daughter was buying items in the school cafeteria I was unaware of – that spawned more than 3,000 comments (on both posts in total). I don’t think I read every single one of the comments, but I did read most and noticed something very interesting.
We’ve all heard the warning, “If you are too restrictive with your kids’ food choices now, it will backfire later!”
There may be some truth to that and I do personally strive for a “healthy” (and guilt-free) balance when my own kids want to indulge, BUT what I did notice yesterday – that was different than usual and that I really liked – were many of the following comments that REALLY struck a chord with me.
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These are the stories I think a lot of us don’t hear enough and also serve as a GREAT reminder to keep instilling healthy habits in our kids (despite the naysayers many of us have in our lives)…
“I WISH my parents had ‘forced’ a real food or healthy lifestyle on me. IF they had i would not still be 50+lbs overweight (since jr high) and have such a warped relationship with food!”
“I wish my parents made me eat healthy whole foods when I was younger. It would have saved me a lifetime of health issues that have pretty much subsided since I changed what I put in to my body.”
“As a child I was taught good nutrition and given good choices and for that I’m thankful. I wasn’t given fruit loops and chicken nuggets. I wasn’t allowed to order off the kids menu I had what the adults were having —lobster and seafood! I’m grateful as an adult that I don’t really crave junk food–not to say I don’t indulge once in a while, I’m human right? I would have loved to have had all of the organic and vegetarian choices back then that we have now. Bravo to any parent starting their kids off on the healthy track!!!”
“As a 26 year old who has struggled with her weight since third grade, I wish my parents had introduced me to real food sooner. We ate at home, but corn was the only ‘vegetable’ ever to grace the table. As a parent you HAVE to introduce those foods and “force’ your children to learn how to nourish their bodies, or they won’t know how to do it themselves.”
“I wish my family had had better eating habits when I was growing up. I wish I had never learned to put sugar on cereal for example. We didn’t have a lot of junk food but I learned some bad habits. And didn’t develop enough really good ones. Now I’m 50 and gluten intolerant and overweight and who knows what other damage has been done?”
“I chose what I ate because my parents were absent during mealtimes. Mac and cheese. Cereal. White bread. Pizza. Now, I have PCOS, insulin resistance, and gluten intolerance and because of these, am struggling to get pregnant. I’m not obese OR inactive, but my body was made sick as a child. I am SO PROUD of all of you mothers that are taking charge of your and your family’s health. It is SO IMPORTANT. You are enabling your children to live long healthy lives, especially your daughters who will have babies of their own. I have control of my health now (just turned 21) but it took 5 years to figure out what was wrong with me. It was food. Now I’m fighting to get my fertility back and I will succeed!!”
“My husband and I both grew up eating healthy for the most part and even now at ages 24 and 25 we would much rather eat a healthy meal than junk food. How you raise your children to eat follows them into adulthood.”
“I only wish healthy food habits were ‘forced’ onto me as a child. Then I wouldn’t have had to spend the last 3 years completely changing my diet to avoid weight loss surgery (2 of my sisters have had this), avoid an autoimmune thyroid disease, remove anti depressants and anti inflammatories from my daily routine and really enjoy my life! Thankfully, I now know better and I pass this information on to my own children so they can avoid these issues too.”
“I was fed all natural foods from birth (and that was 1980 when it wasn’t even cool, lol) and of course I had my sneaky moments, but I am obsessed with eating healthy as an adult. People are absolutely more likely to eat healthy if they are raised to see that as ‘normal.'”
“I wish my parents would have provided me with whole foods. I have struggled all my life with weight….”
“I certainly wish I didn’t have to work so hard to overcome the UNhealthy eating habits my parents passed down to me.”
“I am teaching my children now, what I wish I would have known growing up. Fresh whole foods are better for your body than processed foods.”
“I grew up in a house where my Mom sprinkled wheat germ on my yogurt and substituted tofu for meat…as a child, I didn’t even know that a soda and chip aisle existed in the grocery store. I have such gratitude for that, and have passed that on to my children.”
“I grew up in a house without sugar cereal, little debbies, and chips. As a child I was not happy about it but now I am sooo grateful. Now my family eats a clean diet…its my job to educate and provide healthy options for my family”
“I wish my parents would have cared more to teach me better eating habits because changing them as an adult was extremely hard since I really had no idea of what real health and real foods were.”
“I wish my mother had taught me healthy eating habits as a child rather than using food as rewards and to soothe. It’s taken a long time to break that. You’re their parent not their friend! Teaching them to be healthy is a good thing. Anyone saying otherwise is crazy.”
“I grew up on junk because my mom allowed me to be picky and let us eat what we wanted, and I have had a weight problem. So now I am trying to do better by my children and some people think I’m being mean and should let them eat whatever they want (the oldest being only two years old!). It is hard to make changes when you are used to eating poorly, so I want to make changes for them now and plant the seed of good health and eat real food. I think it is a crying shame for anyone to be ridiculed and put down for that.”
“I only wish my mother had the knowledge of eating clean and healthy growing up. My whole life, I ate unhealthy. Processed food. Fast food. I didn’t know any different. And all I knew to cook for my husband was the processed food my mom taught me to make. It’s so hard to change my eating habits of 22 years.”
“I feel so fortunate that healthy eating habits were ‘forced’ upon me as a child. I thank my mom all the time for that b/c I believe I am a healthier adult b/c of it. And I am passing along the same healthy habits to my children.”
My Own Childhood
There was also one comment (that I just cannot find again to quote!), but it said something like,
“I was allowed to eat all the junk I wanted growing up and I still snuck candy and other treats behind my parents’ back.”
And actually now that I think about it I was that kid, too. We were provided homemade dinners complete with vegetables of course, but beyond that I do recall a childhood filled with plenty of packaged food options (including Doritos, Kraft Mac & Cheese, Golden Grahams, Little Debbie Snacks, Frozen Pizza, Snickers, etc.). And even so I’ll never forget how many of my grandmother’s chocolate chips cookies I would eat as a child (while no one was looking!) when we visited her house.
During the holidays her famous chocolate chip cookies would be out on a tray in the dining room, and every single time I passed by I would pop one in my mouth. Man, her cookies were good. It’s not that I wasn’t “allowed” treats by any stretch of the imagination (although I am sure my parents did have some limits!), but there I was still eating an embarrassing amount of cookies and I don’t think anyone knew except me. Even despite my sneaky ways as a child though, I’ve always had a healthy relationship with food. So long story short – junk food restrictions or not – children might sneak food and while the issue certainly shouldn’t be ignored, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are going to be set up for a lifetime of negative health consequences as a result. Just my two cents based on my own experience.
So now I am really curious – what was your childhood like from a food perspective and how did that shape you as an adult? It seems there is really no “one size fits all” answer here so I’d love to hear your stories as well.
I’m the opposite of many of these posts. I ate real, whole food as a kid. No soda or candy in the house. The closest thing to junk food was probably cheese (the real thing) and crackers. My mom cooked every meal. And I did rebel. When I went to college, I took to stopping at the local convenience store before going to the library every night. I would get a big gulp – soda – and some candy. After awhile I started having health issues. Mainly passing out or feeling like I was going to pass out. I was diagnosed as hypoglycemic. Light bulb moment here. And today, I feed my family in much the same way I was raised. We typically stick to the Feingold diet. My kids (15 and 12) have the occasional soda and candy but all in all, we eat real, whole, organic food. :)
Kim, Thanks for your post. Actually, your post totally supports many of the posts. You went on your own, got in trouble, and went back to your roots. If your parents hadn’t laid the foundation, you would’ve had a hard time getting healthy again, then passing that on to your children.
“Train up a child in the way she should go, And even when she is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
When I think back to my childhood I am so happy that my parents, mainly my mother, chose to cook our meals rather than feed us food from a box. Everything was made from scratch and each meal had something from every food group. The one thing I wish I had learned about was cooking. I was never included, nor were my siblings, in the cooking process. Thankfully I LOVE to cook and always include my DS in helping with meals and teaching him about food and why it is important to eat the right things versus the bad foods. I am by no means perfect, but having a child has made me want to incorporate healthier options than my hubby and I did prior to starting a family. Isn’t that what we owe to raising our children? I once reposted a link on my Facebook page about making your own “lunchables” that you had posted. I had one person that responded so negative about it. Saying that in “a real world” maybe that was possible!? What?!? Isn’t that what we live in? She complained there weren’t enough hours in the day to always provide her family with healthy options. Sure the days get crazy, I like her work a full time job, as well as my hubby, but you prioritize your time. She thought I was crazy. I prep my meals in the morning, or the night before. I let my son help me pack his lunches etc… Just saddens me that people still want to make excuses for why they can’t eat healthy. To me it is like saying you didn’t have time to get your kiddos out and active so you just let them sit on the couch and play video games or watch tv. Just really sad and change needs to be made. I am thankful for your amazing blog for tips and recipes to make me an even better parent! Thanks so much and keep it going!
What a great post! It is so hard to find a balance when raising kids (and husbands) to be healthy and still feel “normal” at the same time!
Oh my…my childhood eating habits were interesting. We are Chinese. My mother made three dishes with rice and soup every night – two vegetables (greens cooked in oil and garlic) and a meat (made in any variety of ways). McDonald’s was a very rare treat when we were very young. Once I became a teenager and could get myself to McDonald’s, I ate there ALL THE TIME. McDonald’s was so good to me that I can still remember my love for Filet-o-Fish, hamburger happy meals, double cheeseburgers even the chicken nuggets. Loved it all.
We also ate a lot of frozen dinners – Stouffer’s chicken pot pies, salisbury steak dinner, chicken a la king. I love packaged Kraft mac and cheese. Does it make you cringe to read all that??
Yet, you know what really changed my perspective and my eating habits? Becoming a mother. Knowing that what I put in my body affects my child and then after she was born, making sure we made the best food choices so as to a good example was very important to us. My daughter is 4 years old. It’s been four years since I’ve had McDonald’s and I have ZERO interest in ever eating there. I am obsessed with real food and sharing the knowledge with my friends. EVERYONE should be eating real food! Why is it so hard to get access to it? That really makes me sad.
We try to instill great eating habits in our daughter and we really try to limit her sugar intake..though we find that so challenging. I am particularly challenged this week as we are on vacation with my sister and her family and they kind of let their daughter have as much sugar as she wants. Maybe not so much in candy, but just sugary drinks with meals. I will let my daughter have a sugary drink, just not with every meal. She can have one (if she must). If she has eaten two scoops of ice cream and maybe some cookies in the day then we won’t have any sugar for dinner…that sort of thing. So it’s been challenging for her to see her cousin getting a sugary drink every meal. She doesn’t understand why our family has a different set of “rules”. These kinds of things make it so hard. If everyone would just eat real food….
I have a daughter that is 14 with a mental age of 4-5 years old with a whole host of special needs. The biggest of which we are trying to control now is the high risk of MODY Diabetes that she has as well as being non-verbal. She is a carb-aholic. She LOVES carbs! Candy, pasta, bread, fries! If she had a whole plate full of healthy food that contained even just the smallest bit of these foods, they are the ones she will eat first and then won’t want to eat anything else. She is almost five foot tall and can reach or will find a way to reach anything that is put up away from her. We’ve done what we can to keep these away from her except just not bringing them into the house. My theory for quite some time is that my other kids shouldn’t have to suffer because sister can’t have it. Long story short, before I started reading this blog and even more so since I started, I have been working at getting these things out of our house. My girl also suffered quite regularly from constipation, one time being so severe that we ended up in the ER because we thought she was having appendicitis. Since moving away from so much processed food I can say that while she still wants to eat all the time she is less constipated and more regular. I can’t imagine having my tummy hurt so bad and not be able to tell anyone what hurts. This alone should be reason enough to make a change.
I love that we can teach our children what and how to eat but what about our babies if we cannot breastfeed?
Has anyone really looked into the ingredients in formulas… and if so, what are your thoughts?
I need some advice and help…
Thanks all!
Hi there. We have not. However, it is a good idea for some research and a post. :) ~Amy
My parents divorced when I was four and then Mom moved us all back in with Gram and Pop. Since Mom and Pop worked and Gram stayed home, she ran the kitchen. We were allowed healthy and unhealthy snacks, but most of the meals were relatively healthy.
My ex-husband was also raised by a widowed mother who had very little income. Most of their meals were boxed, canned, frozen foods, or just plain old Raman Noodles or rice and beans. He talked a lot about eating pancakes that were just made from flour and water.
My ex worked in a grocery store and I was a stay-at-home mom. I begged him to bring home healthier foods, but it was always Totino’s frozen pizza or pizza rolls, Hot Pockets, and other boxed, canned, frozen foods, or just plain old Raman Noodles.
So, when my son was fourteen, and my microwave died, I decided not to replace it (he needed to learn to use the range). That’s when we started to eat healthier foods again, and he loved it.
Since then, he throws up when he eats processed food. He’s even been talking to his fiance about it. My son says he does not want to have a microwave in his house. He says that toaster ovens are better. She is confused by that.
This post and all the comments have been really inspiring! I’ve had a busy few weeks and this has resulted in eating junk food frequently but your words are reminding me why it is important to eat better!
It’s the Parents responsibility to help children adopt healthy eating habits. Be aware of what your children eat when not at home and try to motivate them towards a healthy diet if they are drifting away.
I makes me happy to know that people are teaching their kids to eat right. I wish someone would have done that with me. I grew up on fried foods, mac and cheese, frozen pizzas, and typical box type meals. One summer I remember I got 200 Burger King crowns that they gave away with the kids meals. Fast forward to now, I am 38 years old, overweight, diabetes, and have already had a major heart attack. So now I am at the start of the journey to eating right and to make sure my kids have my health problems.
Thank you for your valuable inspiration. If all parents were like this, then we wouldn’t have a sick nation.
I have always struggled with my weight. I remembered being called Miss Piggy in grade school by boys in my class. Every female in my mom’s family is obese (some morbidly so). I learned to cook and bake-with boxes and refined flours/sugars. I didn’t know there was any other way. I had a job in high school one summer as a dish washer at our little cafe and I remember one time the owner asked me to cut up tomatoes and lettuce-I didn’t know how to do it! The main veggie we ate was corn. And we ALWAYS had white bread at every meal. When my Mom and I went grocery shopping the next town over, we always stopped to get ice cream and pop on the way home. But we had to finish it before we got home so Dad wouldn’t know about it (which also meant throwing our trash out the window). Such an unhealthy relationship to food that I learned very early on. I would stop and get a Dr. Pepper and a Honeybun before school every morning in high school. I knew that wasn’t the best option for breakfast, but I had no idea how addictive or honestly bad for me those things were. I easily became addicted to pop (my mom was horribly addicted). It wasn’t until I found this blog that I started really thinking about food and how it affects us. My husband grew up eating carrots and celery as snacks-extrememly healthy. He’s so happy I’ve learned a healthy way to cook!
Don’t get me wrong-my parents taught me a lot of valuable lessons. I don’t think they really knew the extent of damage their diets were doing to themselves and us kids. My dad didn’t grow up eating processed foods and junk but my mom did more so than he did. But from someone who had no restrictions on what she ate growing up, TRUST ME….it’s NOT healthier for your child to “let them eat what they want”.
I am working really hard to break the chains of addiction to bad food for my kids. I don’t want this trait to be passed on to yet another generation. Health problems abound on my mom’s side-heart, blood pressure, cholesterol, sedentary lifestyle, depression, anxiety…most of which I honestly believe can be traced back to the kind of food (and drink) being consumed on a daily basis. I’m teaching my kids WHY food is important, HOW it effects our bodies, and WHAT we can do to help ourselves be healthy. Do my kids still get highly-processed candies and food sometimes? Of course…we can’t live in a bubble. Do I have any of those things in my house or cook anything like that anymore? No. Does that mean my kids are going to go crazy and binge on crappy food when they leave home? I seriously doubt it. Because I’m not just restricting what they can eat…I’m TEACHING them about food and nutrition.
THANK YOU Lisa for this blog…it has literally changed my life. I lost 30 lbs just from cutting out processed foods. I feel so much better about my health and my future. And best of all, I’m breaking the cycle for my kids! Keep on teaching your kids about healthy foods and indulging a treat once in a while. You’re doing a great job, and you’re an inspiration for moms like me who are trying to do the same!
I do believe that has parents it is our job to give kids the right tools in making every day decision and eating healthy is very important. Thank you for this blog and I loved reading everyone’s comments
My dad taught us to be very conscious eaters and to eat to fuel are bodies but he also didn’t have a lot of knowledge about what it meant to eat healthy. For example, he swore up and down (still does) that regular, pizza-shop pizza with vegetable toppings was a healthy meal because it had carbs, vegetables, and protein in the cheese. Although some of the foods he believed were healthy actually weren’t, he did teach us the importance of trying to be healthy, eating after workouts, drinking lots of water, and limiting sugar. He also stressed the value of home cooked meals over eating out and would cook a week worth of meals and store in the freezer for us to eat when he wasn’t home.
Man, I wish I could have learned healthy habits at a young age. The women in my family, mostly on my mom’s side, tend to be a little robust. That did include me for a long time! While I will always struggle with my weight and body image, I have finally started to learn to eat healthier. It’s great! I haven’t gotten sick as much, and I feel a lot better. I make green smoothies every morning (yes I got that site from you, and those two ladies are amazing), and I try to eat only fruits, veges, and proteins for snacks. It’s a shame because my parents really did try to eat healthy, but because the FDA is SO misleading, it ended up hurting us more than helping. I am 23, and I remember when I was young, the healthy thing to eat was carbs. So mama loaded up on the pastas and breads, and that’s what we ate the most of. Then Atkins came along ten years later, and bam, no carbs. We went along with every fad diet you could think of, and the pounds kept adding on. And what’s worse, because both my mother and father were amazing people who were constantly working, we were getting take out all the time. I was so busy in high school and didn’t have my license, my parents were literally driving me across town to my high school (this was about a 30 minute drive, no bus came that way) we grabbed a lot of food on the go. While I have watched my parents get worse despite their efforts to work out and eat healthier, I know that the core of their problems are coming from not really understanding what food is good for them! They still focus only on calories, while sugars and fats should be taken into account as well. It’s sad because they really did try, but they just were not educated enough on good, healthy foods. I was almost 180 pounds (and I’m 5’5”) in high school. I had so many body issues! Teach your kids to eat right. Give them the tools to make their own choices, which is exactly what you are doing. When they are older, they will understand that you did them a huge favor :)
When we were very young, our mother was a devotee of Adele Davis: My sister and I were the ones with the misshapen whole wheat sandwiches and brewer’s yeast in our orange juice. Except for a brief hiatus when my mother went back to work and the late 70’s and early 80’s collided, we tended to eat whole foods and rarely had anything like potato chips or cookies in the house. At times, though, I think we were too restricted: I can remember eating a sleeve of Oreos by myself, alone after school. They tasted great–for both their chemicals and for their taboo.
I am a vegetarian; my husband and two sons are not. I had intended to raise my children vegetarian–and I did until my older son had his first hot dog at a birthday party. I hadn’t known that he had begun to eat, and the hostess had simply served him a hot dog. After watching him try to navigate this food she did not know was new to him, she came to fetch me, laughing so hard she could barely stand. When I found my son at the picnic table, he was eating the hot dog all right–as if it were corn on the cob, holding either end in a hand and working his way around in circles. At that moment, I decided to let my kids try any food they wished. What I serve, I control; what they are served, I cannot really control.
We live at a boarding school where we can eat in the dining hall everyday: We do not, though, because the choices are–for my family–overwhelming. We mostly eat at home, balanced, homemade meals. On the weekends, we bake bread and each boy makes something for the week–muffins or cookies. I think–and I hope–that I have given them a (mostly) healthy foundation to build on. I don’t expect that they will eschew Doritos at a friend’s house and pull out a stash of raw almonds, but I won’t buy the Doritos either. Food choices are like any habit–I hope; and I hope that I have helped them develop the habit of making healthy choices most of the time.
I grew up with a mom who made as much of our food as she could. She was a ‘plain yogurt with a teaspoon of homemade jam & wheat germ’ type of 70’s health-food mom. My husband’s mom was the same, but was very much into shaming her kids for their weight and food choices. My mom tended to do things like ask us to try to read the ingredients in foods before she would buy them.
I get the sense that this is a much bigger factor than WHAT we ate, in terms of how my husband and I approach food. Because I do 90% of the cooking, we eat a mostly healthy diet (lots of veg, lean meat, fruit, a bit of dairy and home-made breads). My husband almost acts like he can’t believe he can make his own food choices.
He will buy quarts of orange juice and down them in the car, gobble cookies by the pack and always buy bacon if he is going to the store. It’s almost as if someone is going to snatch these foods away from him.
Most kids can understand the idea that some foods are better at helping them grow than others and that if you cant identify it, you should probably think twice about eating it. In my experience, if you can instill these ideas and avoid the good/bad dichotomy, the prospects for long-term healthy eating are better for your kids.
Thank you!
I am in my 30’s without kids and I eat a fairly healthy and balanced diet, but like most people I do have days when I struggle and your blog gives me fresh ideas and helps keep me on track.
I use your ideas from your children’s lunches in my lunch all the time and your tips are helping me to get my partner to slowly change his eating habits.
I agree with what seems to be a common opinion here that treats are ok (in moderation), but I am also learning to make better choices with treats.
Eating real food is a challenge at times, both budget wise and practically but your posts are helping me to make step by step improvements in my life.
I really appreciate this site and have shared with with many people here at home in New Zealand. Thanks again :-)
My mom’s obsession with health food turned me into a closet junk-food junkie! She made EVERYTHING from scratch–homemade yogurt, jams without sweetener, plain ground peanuts for peanut butter, and bread that weighed 10 lbs a loaf. We ate tofu in the ’70s before it became cool, and then uncool, and then cool again. Sugar was banned from the house. So, was TV. I hated the food we ate, so I hardly ate. I was skinnier than all my friends by a mile.
While this sounds pretty ideal, it actually caused me to be obsessed with junk food. I saw my friends eating things I was forbidden to eat, and it was all I could think about. I ended up secretly spending all of my allowance on junk food. I got fat. I spent years realizing I could have a balance. I’ve been thin for 20 years now, but it feels like sobriety (one day at a time).
Today, I raise my kids to eat a variety of healthy foods, but I also let them eat some things that aren’t so good for them. We talk about balancing the good and the bad. I hope I’m doing right by them!
I have read your blog for a little while now, since learning more about whole foods and wanting to feed my family more healthy things. (Thanks for sharing such great info, by the way!) Teaching your kids healthy habits IS important. Imagine my surprise when I saw this post… at Smart Kids 101, we actually have a DVD training program called Healthy Habits 101. It’s intended to break the ice and start kids on that path to a healthy lifestyle. Check it out if you feel so inclined… our whole goal is teaching kids to be smart about life! :) smartkids101.com/healthy-habits-101/ Our blog today features gift ideas for raising healthy kids! http://www.smartkids101.com/fun-gift-ideas-that-encourage-your-child-to-be-healthy/
A couple of years ago, my nine year old niece was shocked to learn that chili didn’t come out of a can. She had no idea that you can make chili from scratch. She had no idea because she said that was all her mom ever gave her. She was also shocked to learn that a can of chili has tomato sauce in it (she hates tomatoes but loves chili). All I could think was her mom, who criticizes my brother for what he feeds the kids, thinks that canned chili is a perfectly healthy meal.
My dad did most of the cooking growing up. When I was little, most meals were homemade with natural ingredient. However, as I got older, so did both of my parents. They were tired and wanted something simple(pizza, tacos, other fast food). I really wish we never would have went that way because we are now trying to fix the way we eat. This included no more soda. It really wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I also want to thank you for all the information you provide on this blog. I want to applaud you for teaching your children healthy habits and actually being a parent to your children.
Similar story- When I got married (my husband and I were both 20), he was amazed that you can make meatballs! He thought those only came frozen in a bag! :)
My parents raised me on whatever was cheapest. Ground beef, canned veggies, processed foods and TONS of sugar. They were struggling to raise 5 children so although I wish they had thought more about nutrition, I don’t blame them.
Fast forward 30 years. My oldest two brothers and my father are type 2 diabetics. My youngest brother is almost to the point of being diagnosed with it as well. My sister and I somehow latched on to the health food movement, thank goodness! We both eat and feed our families super healthy. We are thin and quite healthy. Neither of our families are hardly ever sick enough to go to the doctor. My brothers roll their eyes at our organic, vegetable heavy, gluten free diets, but the stark differences in our health speak for themselves.
I so appreciate your blog and people like you who are helping people and their families on the path to better heath. Ignore the nay-sayers and keep on going!! :)
My childhood food was mostly processed. My mom wasn’t a great cook. We had a vegetable garden in the summer which was delish! We had veggies, but mostly comfort food. I’m in my 40’s, so we ate at home most of the time (before the days of running around frantically from activity to activity). But my mom was in poor health; getting diabetes later in life. I am struggling with health issues too, so have been seeking to change my ways and that of our family for about a year now. It has helped, but it’s hard to get 100% real food. I am THANKFUL for sites such as yours! You are such an inspiration and encouragement to me as I’m still learning gobs! I was telling my husband about the brouhaha yesterday and I didn’t understand why people who were so against eating well and teaching your kids to do the same would even be ON your page? I don’t understand the crazies! And it’s not like you are making them ONLY eat spinach or something. This is common sense stuff here!
I’ve always tried to raise my kids with good food and lots of fruits and veggies from the start and try to keep food balanced. They are SO good about never sneaking anything (I thought since you said yes to yours that should do it)–I do the same thing. I have taught them to UNDERSTAND WHY which food is good and which is bad, etc., so hopefully they can make good choices.
I felt bad for your predicament with your daughter(which, really had ZERO to do with food–as you said, but more with character issues). I didn’t comment yesterday because there were already too many comments, but I have to agree that I wish I would have learned better food choices, etc. like the others who commented. Bless you Lisa for helping us out so tremendously! I know you will work it out with your kids and thanks for being such an inspiration to the rest of us!
Growing up, I ate mostly home-cooked meals. We always had vegetables and a protein but our vegetables were always cooked in a large amount of butter and our protein was usually some sort of fried or doused with sauces. At almost every dinner we had macaroni, fried potatoes, or mashed potatoes, sometimes even two of those at the same time! We always had some sort of bread to go with dinner, too. Biscuits, a roll, or just a slice of bread with butter. My parents did do a good job of stopping us at second helpings, or limiting them if we insisted we were still starving. But the overall quality of the food was bad. My family could even take something as delicious and beautiful as berries and turn them into a heart attack at the table! Ever try mixed berry dumplings? Delicious but loaded with flour, buttermilk, sugars, and butter! We also had a dessert almost every night. From chocolate chip cookies made from scratch to the gooiest, peach cobbler with the flakiest crust, to chocolate ‘earthquake cakes’ and cheesecakes. There was always something. I was 19 when I moved out on my own and my now husband came over and as I started to cook dinner for the two of us I pulled out the vegetable oil, butter, and salt. And as I began to spoon butter into the pan I was using to cook a bountiful of beautiful vegetables he stopped me. It was a talk that night that embarrassed me but more than anything it opened my eyes. I had always been about 25-30 pounds over-weight. I had battled bulimia for years and before then it had seemed that no matter how little I ate, even if it was just the meat and loads of vegetables, I could not take off those extra pounds. It was that night that I realized why. The way I had grown eating, the way I had (unintentionally) been taught to cook my watching my mother and grandmothers slave away in the kitchen making their best home-cooked meals that could stop wars, had tainted my future with food. Luckily, my boyfriend and I stayed together and throughout our relationship I learned how to use natural foods like peppers, herbs, and simmered vegetables to spice up our meals. I also dropped the (heavy) use of butter and salt. But years of eating like that makes it very difficult to change habits over-night, or even in a few years. Especially when my family had no intention of changing the way they cooked. I was addicted to food being cooked a certain way… It wasn’t until I had my little boy that I and my husband, (who is Hispanic and had lived off of traditional Mexican meals his whole life and also battled weight problems) decided to put our feet down and make life changes for the better of our future and our son. We immediately made ONE rule, if it was something that we wouldn’t let our son have; it was not going to be in our kitchen. At that moment I began researching healthier meals to cook and living a healthier lifestyle in general. Even though he was only a week old, I already had a list of banned foods that would never come into our house. My son is just turned three years old now. He is an amazing little who is in fact in the 90th percentile for kids his size and age (he’s very tall). But every morning he gets up, has a glass of milk and his father or I make him something to eat. Whether it is a scrambled egg, a whole wheat pancake, oatmeal (because stone rolled oats take a little while to cook) we make it a point to cook ALL of his meals. And he watches us, which I know now, from my own experience, that we’re instilling good habits in him. Our choice didn’t come from just wanting to fit in with the trends; it came from our own personal struggles with poor quality meals. Our struggle with being the biggest third-grader in our class. Our struggle with having to skip lunch at school because dinner was going to be the equivalent of a Thanksgiving feast. And our overall struggle with not being happy with ourselves and not having the right mind-set or knowledge at the time to change anything. I don’t want my son to be an overweight child. I don’t want him to battle childhood diseases like obesity and have breathing problems. I don’t want him to be addicted to fast, greasy foods that are full of salts and fat. Now, I’m not saying he never has anything sweet or fast or microwavable (he does have two sets of grandparents) but those things are VERY limited and portioned small. He chooses fruits and vegetables for snacks, he’ll choose broccoli over French fries. He’d rather have banana chips than a piece of candy. And his favorite at the moment is a spoon of almond butter with strawberries. We made the choice to change our lives in order to give our child and children a healthy life and body and the knowledge and good habits to make better decisions as adults. If he decides to live off of Big Macs when he turns twenty, that’s his decision but he’ll know that there IS a healthier alternative and he’ll know how to do it right. I won’t be the reason my child is overweight or sick or has an eating disorder when they’re older. His future starts with me and if I want him to have one then I have to provide a healthy life and smart habits.
And I will say that not only has our rule helped us in keeping his diet clean, it’s also helped us clean our act up. We’re both about 40 pounds lighter and more active than ever before. This one rule has changed so many things in our lives, from sickness to just being altogether happier. It is a lot of work when you first start but definitely worth it.
I love this blog as does my husband. We just had our second little boy two months ago and we are determined to raise them both as my husband was raised. My husband’s family didn’t have much money and that meant using every part of a bird or roast and making it last, as well as growing as much fruit/veggies as possible. My family on the other hand, was very excited about the invention of the microwave and TV dinners. We were taught to eat well and exercise but the example my parent’s set was separate from what they were trying to teach my sister’s and I. So as a young adult that was sick of Kraft and McDonald’s, I became a vegetarian rebel at 14 yrs old. I wish I could say I remained healthy, but I became lazy and fell into the processed food world until I became pregnant with my first son. I had heard as a preschool teacher that Autism, (every 1/150 kids born in NJ at that time), was linked to what the kids were eating, and that just stuck with me. I have been doing my best ever since to eat organic and serve organic whole foods to my son. I slip up and get lazy, but this blog is a life saver and motivator. Thank you for your positive, down to earth approach to living well, being well and sharing your stories.
This is a wonderful post! And, keep it up, because I am proof that when a parent alters their lifestyle, the kids follow suit.
When I was a very young child, my family was the picture of health. both of my parents were very active. My dad was involved in some sort of athletic league constantly, and my mother taught aerobics as a part time job. I remember eating salads and other veggies a lot.
When I was in elementary school, however, my parents made a career change that continues to effect me and my relationship with food into my 30s. They bought a donut shop.
Not only did this mean that I spent a large chunk of my childhood within an arms reach of sugared up, already processed carbs—which I most definitely developed an addiction to, but it also meant a decreased amount of time to prepare family meals and teach us about nutrition. My parents also developed their own addictions to over-processed foods, and lost sight of good, nourishing whole foods.
For me, this meant that despite my remaining very active (I was a ballet dancer, and spent four nights a week in the studio after school) I was still about 50 pounds overweight by high school. I never learned how to eat properly. I would drive through fast food and eat my dinners on my way to or from the studio. I just never knew how powerful food was. I thought I just had a “fat gene.” Afterall, everyone in my family was overweight also, and most of us were active.
It wasn’t until after college—and after I had gained about 30 pounds from my high school weight—that I figured it out. I was becoming less and less active and felt more and more sluggish. I knew I was unhealthy, so I began to research nutrition. It was then that I had my ‘Ah Ha’ moment and embraced whole, real foods.
The changes I made led to significant weight loss, even though I didn’t think that was even possible for me. I just wanted to be healthy.
Don’t get me wrong. I had wonderful parents who taught me many valuable lessons and gave me many gifts. A good relationship with food just wasn’t one of them. To be honest, I’m not sure they knew how to do that.
To this day, when I visit my parent’s house, I tend to overeat, and I eat things I wouldn’t touch under any other circumstances because it is normal for me in that environment.
I do not have children, but if or when I do, I couldn’t imagine not giving them the power of knowledge when it comes to nutrition and health. I never want them to wonder what may have been different for them if they had been healthy when they were young.
Lisa, I just want to commend you on teaching your children about proper nutrition. If kids do not learn this at home, where else will they learn it? Major kudos to you.
My mom “forced” healthy foods on me and my brother growing up. We didn’t have the junk food available in our house to eat. My brother was hyper so we didn’t have anything sugary in the house. And she always packed a healthy lunch for school.(up until middle school!) As a kid I hated it. I just wanted white bread and jello. My best friend’s mom still jokes to this day about how I would scavenge for snacks and junk in their kitchen… I could always find her stash of potato chips! Then when I went to college I ate whatever I wanted… aka JUNK JUNK JUNK! But then after college when I got married and started buy my own food, I slowly realized how bad this junk was. When I had kids I pushed even harder to eat better. My mom laughs now and says it’s amazing to see me come full circle, and to be telling her things about food that she’s known for 30 years. I want to raise my kids to enjoy real fresh local food and maybe it’ll take 30 years for them to appreciate it, but someday they will know I was right (just like my mom was right before me!)
I AM PRINTING THIS POST AND PUTTING IT IN MY KITCHEN.
Thank you so so much for compiling such encouraging comments.
I grew up on a combination of processed foods and real food (the meat and potato variety) and my husband the same. I started to educate myself on the benefits of nutrition when I was 18 and received negative feedback from my mother: “you’re not fun anymore” when I cut back on refined sugars and started going to the gym. Hmmm…isn’t feeling good and being healthy more fun than mood swings and lethargy? Anyway – changing old habits of associating crap food to “fun” or “rewards” has been a process, and getting my husband on board is another process in itself. If you “feel fine” (as his family might say) then it seems there’s no reason to stop eating processed food. Now we have a 6 month old daughter and I am EVEN MORE MOTIVATED to focus on real food for our family.
There are no good excuses to continue to feed ourselves everything but what our bodies are made to digest (and thrive on!) We have taken our “health” for granted long enough.
We ate home cooked meals mostly, but did have chips, cookies & ice cream around. Seldom was
Candy allowed in or chocolate milk. I am very health conscious today,
but have stuggled with unhealthy diet habits in the past. I have always craved sweets. When
I finally lived on my own I would eat copious amounts of candy & carbs, then overexercise out of guilt.
Now I eat very healthy & clean, but worry about my son, who has food allergies, sensitivities, & is very picky.
Will hardly eat any of the foods I prepare. Healthy lunches will come home uneaten. Yikes. I keep trying though.
I know the reason I have a healthy relationship with food today is because of the decisions my mother made when I was young. My mother never give my sister or I Gerber or any processed stuff like that, she blended up what the adults ate to feed us. As children, my sister and I loved artichokes, brussels sprouts and all kinds of food even though we did have candy and ice cream in our house. It annoyed me to have to eat at the dinner table when I found out my friends didn’t do that (they were also eating Velveeta though) but as I got older I understood the value in it. Now we are adults and even though there have been struggles we make our own informed decisions and strive for a healthy balance. Thank you for talking about this, it is so important to start a healthy relationship with food at a young age!
I wish I could make this page my screen saver, so when I am in tears over the food issues in our house I can be reminded and strengthened in my decision to teach my children healthy eating habits, no matter how hard it is!
I grew up in Romania, only with homemade food. The stores where empty during the Communism times and my parents and the whole society struggled for food. Most important foods where rationalized, like bread, eggs, flour, milk, butter, etc..but people had a way of finding food, mostly from barter and gardening and raising animals. The country was in the process of industrialization, but many people lived in the country, so they produced their own food.
I lived in a city, but my mom’s family in the village provided us with eggs, meat, milk and cheese, flour and butter we needed to cook.
My mom cook everything, after working 6 days a week (only Sunday was off!). She made soups and stews and stretched the food as much as she could. There were not many dinners with beef steaks and caviar, but we were happy and healthy:) She made buckets of cookies and crackers and loads of sweet breads and cakes, so I was lucky.
I have never had fast food until I moved to US 8 years ago and I don’t like it or crave it. It’s easy, I admit, to just drive through and get some food, but I can feel the taste of fake ingredients and preservatives and can’t enjoy it. I usually stick to salad when dining out or eat Asian food.
As a stay home mom I try to cook dinners and treats just like my mom did, but my kids are flustered by all the temptations and they are indulged too often by their American grandparents to develop a taste for the crappy cheap food overflowing in the stores and the so called restaurants!!! School doesn’t help either; my son does not touch his lunch box and begs for snacks from teacher or friends, who are allowed and encouraged to bring too much unhealthy food at school:((
My family did not have a lot of money, so a lot of the food we had was from the food bank or generic food which was a lot cheaper than “real” food. Lots of chicken patties, hot dogs, Mac and cheese, spaghetti O’s, etc. when I went to college, I indulged in eating out and eating the expensive junk food I never got to have as a kid. I began having health problems like high blood pressure and was extremely overweight. I later began working at an eating disorder clinic and learned a lot about food and nutrition. I then became obsessed with eating healthy to the point that it consumed my every thought. Now, I’ve struck a balance. I try to cook meals for my family that are clean, but my husband is not 100% on board which makes it hard. My daughter ends up eating fruit loops and frosted flakes because Daddy brings it into the house. I feel that if they eat healthy 75% of the time, I’m doing the best I can do. Until he gives in all the way on his own terms, it’s not going to be an everyday fight. I teach my daughter the best I can to eat heathy and hope that when she is older, she will make good decisions.
As a child we lived on a farm. My mother prepared all of our food. She had a huge garden and she canned all summer so that we could continue to eat vegetables during the long, cold winter. We ate many different kinds of vegetables, ones that my husband did not try until he married me! She always says that if we wanted to try something new, then she had to learn how to make it. She made pizza once in awhile and donuts probably once a year (both big treats for us). On Friday nights we would share a small bag of chips and we would each get a small glass of soda. When we drove to the city we were treated to a restaurant meal. I would describe my food experience as “moderation”. My sisters and I remember “sneaking” cookies etc, but I think that’s just what kids do. As the mom of 3 young children I am leading by example and following in my mom’s footsteps. We eat clean most of the time, with treats occasionally. We focus on health and energy, rather than how much we weigh. I cook at home 99% of the time and try to give them a variety of foods to try. They come to the grocery store with me and are already reading labels!
I remember eating a lot of frozen dinners, mac&chz and ramen noodles for dinner growing up, but my mom was raising 3 kids often by herself and worked full time so think she just tried to get something on the table quickly. This being said, she somehow still managed to instill good eating habits in all of us – maybe because we didn’t have processed snacks & soda laying around the house.
Now I’m trying to raise my own daughter with good eating habits and try to feed her real food, but not having much luck. She’s super picky and really small for her age so feel bad leaving her with out any food at meals so resort to processed food that i know she will eat, ie chicken nuggets or pizza. I know it’s horrible and cringe every time i do this, but don’t know how else to get her to eat anything. She likes a good amount of fruit, but the only vegetable she’ll eat is snap peas. I tried the Sneaky Chef too to see if I could at least sneak her good foods while still offering healthy food at the same time and that didn’t work either. She somehow always knows when I sneak veggies in anything like smoothies or anything else (she’s pretty smart!). I’m hoping it’s just her age, but my husbands family eats poorly so am afraid it may be hereditary?? Please help if you have any suggestions!!!
I feel your pain. I have a picky 12-year-old who is on ADHD meds, which kills his appetite. When many foods induce a literal gag reflex, you do tend to bend. He is very underweight so I try to get calories in him, as bad as that sounds. I feed him a huge breakfast of bacon and eggs and toast or a dinner food, a lunch of peanut butter and rice cake, a fruit and home-made baked goods (he usually doesn’t eat anything), an all-organic anything when he gets home from school and then a late night dinner when his meds wear off. Unfortunately, he eats mainly mashed potatoes and Ramen at the moment, but I add pureed cauliflower, flax meal and egg (you can’t see or taste it) to the mashed potatoes and carrots, pureed leafy greens and quinoa to the soup. I put something he doesn’t like on his plate every day but he will vomit if he tries to eat it. Still, I am hopeful. I wish I had introduced him to better foods when he was young but I was very unenlightened, even though I have long been a vegetarian and very healthy. Keep on keeping on!
Great topic! Growing up we had a garden. My mom cooked home cooked foods from real food ingredients. We had some store bought cookies and ice cream in the house, but only a bit and when it was gone, no more until the next grocery day. We did eat processed foods too (Kraft Mac n Cheese, canned soups, cake mix) but it was all in balance and not excessive compared to the real food my mom cooked. All 4 of us kids were breastfed. Now as an adult, I am healthy, normal weight and have a great relationship with food. I breastfed my kids, even my adopted son (now THAT was a lot of work to accomplish!!!!) I have a garden. My kids eat veggies raw off the vine. My daughter eats kale, mussels, sardines and many other foods kids usually won’t eat. Both kids bravely tried Star fruit this week for the first time. My son loved it, my daughter not so much. But her attitude was great. She said “it’s just ok” but ate it anyway. I cook real food meals for my family. I am teaching my kids good eating habits the way my mom taught me. If anything, I am even more into serving “real food” than my mom was. I thank my mom for teaching me what good food is and I am teaching my kids how to cook and eat healthy, so that they in turn will teach their kids. My daughter watched me struggle and work so hard to produce breastmilk for my adopted son. That taught her the value of breastmilk. She will most likely breastfeed my grand-babies one day. I am proud of all I have accomplished.
Hello,
Another possibility is that she is a super taster. I have this issue and I can taste ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. I am very sensitive to bitter foods- and that tends to be most vegetables. I was in my early 20’s before I could eat cooked onions- I still can not manage uncooked onions. I really had to work hard to get to that point. There are many vegetables I can not eat, and I am super sensitive to most spices. The sad thing is this lends itself very easily to sugar addiction. I also can not taste salt. I have to have other people test out my food and season it with salt. Apparently this is another issue that comes with being a super taster. This may not help with getting your child to try new things, but it may explain what your child is feeling. I was lucky to grow up with a rule that we had to at least “taste everything” so I am willing to try things and that is why I can eat a larger variety of things now.
Lisa,
Great topic, great post. This is such a charged subject for so many moms. Growing up, my diet was about 80% real food, for the sheer reason that having soda and junk in the house was too expensive. Also, my parents are from Eastern Europe and Israel where whole food is just how you ate. Israeli salads for breakfast etc… I lucked out! About your daughter buying food that you were unaware of…well, it’s simply another teaching moment. I believe that there is no one right way to parent. You’re clearly doing a great job! – Judi
My mom would starve herself to lose weight. She would announce to my siblings and I – “i only ate one apple so far today.” With us she would go from one extreme to the next. One month super healthy – no anything in the house. Only oranges, apples. Dinner would consist of frozen, unseasoned veggies. She also did not know how to cook – still does not. Than the next month she would allow us to eat whatever we wanted and as much. IE, chips and dip for dinner with cokes. She is a constant yo yo dieter still. When I had my first daughter – i started researching how to feed / good diets for children. Started reading and researching blogs, etc. Realized how poor my diet was and made a huge overhaul back than. But up to that point i would rarely eat enough fruit or veggies. Lots of processed foods. My girls eat about half raw foods throughout the day. We are still not perfect. But I am very proud of how much they love fruit and veggies. They both LOVE my chopped salad. It is still hard for me to educate my parents and my husband’s parents – they always want to feed my kids “kid food”. IE, gross processed foods. They will say – the girls wont like the fish let’s give them a frozen pizza. What! Why! They love fish. anyways.
I grew up in a very similar way. Early on in my childhood when my mom worked nights at the hospital, my dad fed us McDonalds more nights a week than I care to admit. Once dad learned how to cook, we had healthy(ish) meals every night. (I say healthyish because they were generally Hamburger Helper meals with frozen veggies.)
When my mom’s schedule changed, we definitely had healthy meals and my parents always made sure we had fruits/veggies with every meal but there was always junk food running around the house. Despite my mom’s best efforts to instill that “if you eat all those chips, you’re not going to stay skinny like you are,” we ate them anyway.
I’ve not had any health problems, at least to my knowledge, but I have since changed my relationship with food and switched to a Paleo lifestyle, and I will never go back to the way I used to eat. I’m sure every person says this, “I’m going to raise my kids differently.” But, I’m definitely going to raise my [future] kids differently.
Oh boy did I eat terrible growing up and it continued until only with in the last 10 years maybe. (42 now). Growing up we had everything processed, packaged, sugery and addicting! And the way I ate at home was how I are my lunch at school that I bought- often would buy Twinkies or some other horrible snack or maybe just eat the French fries. I sort of remember eating fruit and veggies but not year round. Mostly when they were in season. I have battled weight issues since jr high! I know now what is better and can eat healthy and usually choose too. I try to buy organic when possible, or at least nonGmo. We have some grab and go snacks but again trying for better quality. I have a 7 month old now and I am getting back in the kitchen a little more each month. Before becoming pregnant I made A LOT of our snacks. Anyway, I am trying to teach my 4 kids (baby no 5) to make healthy choices and teach them how nutrition affects our health. I home school and our science course is 101 Nutrition and we are learning a lot :) I know that they will make choices I am not happy about when they are out of sight. But it won’t be because I didn’t try.