In case you missed it there was a conundrum on my Facebook page yesterday – after I learned my daughter was buying items in the school cafeteria I was unaware of – that spawned more than 3,000 comments (on both posts in total). I don’t think I read every single one of the comments, but I did read most and noticed something very interesting.
We’ve all heard the warning, “If you are too restrictive with your kids’ food choices now, it will backfire later!”
There may be some truth to that and I do personally strive for a “healthy” (and guilt-free) balance when my own kids want to indulge, BUT what I did notice yesterday – that was different than usual and that I really liked – were many of the following comments that REALLY struck a chord with me.
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These are the stories I think a lot of us don’t hear enough and also serve as a GREAT reminder to keep instilling healthy habits in our kids (despite the naysayers many of us have in our lives)…
“I WISH my parents had ‘forced’ a real food or healthy lifestyle on me. IF they had i would not still be 50+lbs overweight (since jr high) and have such a warped relationship with food!”
“I wish my parents made me eat healthy whole foods when I was younger. It would have saved me a lifetime of health issues that have pretty much subsided since I changed what I put in to my body.”
“As a child I was taught good nutrition and given good choices and for that I’m thankful. I wasn’t given fruit loops and chicken nuggets. I wasn’t allowed to order off the kids menu I had what the adults were having —lobster and seafood! I’m grateful as an adult that I don’t really crave junk food–not to say I don’t indulge once in a while, I’m human right? I would have loved to have had all of the organic and vegetarian choices back then that we have now. Bravo to any parent starting their kids off on the healthy track!!!”
“As a 26 year old who has struggled with her weight since third grade, I wish my parents had introduced me to real food sooner. We ate at home, but corn was the only ‘vegetable’ ever to grace the table. As a parent you HAVE to introduce those foods and “force’ your children to learn how to nourish their bodies, or they won’t know how to do it themselves.”
“I wish my family had had better eating habits when I was growing up. I wish I had never learned to put sugar on cereal for example. We didn’t have a lot of junk food but I learned some bad habits. And didn’t develop enough really good ones. Now I’m 50 and gluten intolerant and overweight and who knows what other damage has been done?”
“I chose what I ate because my parents were absent during mealtimes. Mac and cheese. Cereal. White bread. Pizza. Now, I have PCOS, insulin resistance, and gluten intolerance and because of these, am struggling to get pregnant. I’m not obese OR inactive, but my body was made sick as a child. I am SO PROUD of all of you mothers that are taking charge of your and your family’s health. It is SO IMPORTANT. You are enabling your children to live long healthy lives, especially your daughters who will have babies of their own. I have control of my health now (just turned 21) but it took 5 years to figure out what was wrong with me. It was food. Now I’m fighting to get my fertility back and I will succeed!!”
“My husband and I both grew up eating healthy for the most part and even now at ages 24 and 25 we would much rather eat a healthy meal than junk food. How you raise your children to eat follows them into adulthood.”
“I only wish healthy food habits were ‘forced’ onto me as a child. Then I wouldn’t have had to spend the last 3 years completely changing my diet to avoid weight loss surgery (2 of my sisters have had this), avoid an autoimmune thyroid disease, remove anti depressants and anti inflammatories from my daily routine and really enjoy my life! Thankfully, I now know better and I pass this information on to my own children so they can avoid these issues too.”
“I was fed all natural foods from birth (and that was 1980 when it wasn’t even cool, lol) and of course I had my sneaky moments, but I am obsessed with eating healthy as an adult. People are absolutely more likely to eat healthy if they are raised to see that as ‘normal.'”
“I wish my parents would have provided me with whole foods. I have struggled all my life with weight….”
“I certainly wish I didn’t have to work so hard to overcome the UNhealthy eating habits my parents passed down to me.”
“I am teaching my children now, what I wish I would have known growing up. Fresh whole foods are better for your body than processed foods.”
“I grew up in a house where my Mom sprinkled wheat germ on my yogurt and substituted tofu for meat…as a child, I didn’t even know that a soda and chip aisle existed in the grocery store. I have such gratitude for that, and have passed that on to my children.”
“I grew up in a house without sugar cereal, little debbies, and chips. As a child I was not happy about it but now I am sooo grateful. Now my family eats a clean diet…its my job to educate and provide healthy options for my family”
“I wish my parents would have cared more to teach me better eating habits because changing them as an adult was extremely hard since I really had no idea of what real health and real foods were.”
“I wish my mother had taught me healthy eating habits as a child rather than using food as rewards and to soothe. It’s taken a long time to break that. You’re their parent not their friend! Teaching them to be healthy is a good thing. Anyone saying otherwise is crazy.”
“I grew up on junk because my mom allowed me to be picky and let us eat what we wanted, and I have had a weight problem. So now I am trying to do better by my children and some people think I’m being mean and should let them eat whatever they want (the oldest being only two years old!). It is hard to make changes when you are used to eating poorly, so I want to make changes for them now and plant the seed of good health and eat real food. I think it is a crying shame for anyone to be ridiculed and put down for that.”
“I only wish my mother had the knowledge of eating clean and healthy growing up. My whole life, I ate unhealthy. Processed food. Fast food. I didn’t know any different. And all I knew to cook for my husband was the processed food my mom taught me to make. It’s so hard to change my eating habits of 22 years.”
“I feel so fortunate that healthy eating habits were ‘forced’ upon me as a child. I thank my mom all the time for that b/c I believe I am a healthier adult b/c of it. And I am passing along the same healthy habits to my children.”
My Own Childhood
There was also one comment (that I just cannot find again to quote!), but it said something like,
“I was allowed to eat all the junk I wanted growing up and I still snuck candy and other treats behind my parents’ back.”
And actually now that I think about it I was that kid, too. We were provided homemade dinners complete with vegetables of course, but beyond that I do recall a childhood filled with plenty of packaged food options (including Doritos, Kraft Mac & Cheese, Golden Grahams, Little Debbie Snacks, Frozen Pizza, Snickers, etc.). And even so I’ll never forget how many of my grandmother’s chocolate chips cookies I would eat as a child (while no one was looking!) when we visited her house.
During the holidays her famous chocolate chip cookies would be out on a tray in the dining room, and every single time I passed by I would pop one in my mouth. Man, her cookies were good. It’s not that I wasn’t “allowed” treats by any stretch of the imagination (although I am sure my parents did have some limits!), but there I was still eating an embarrassing amount of cookies and I don’t think anyone knew except me. Even despite my sneaky ways as a child though, I’ve always had a healthy relationship with food. So long story short – junk food restrictions or not – children might sneak food and while the issue certainly shouldn’t be ignored, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are going to be set up for a lifetime of negative health consequences as a result. Just my two cents based on my own experience.
So now I am really curious – what was your childhood like from a food perspective and how did that shape you as an adult? It seems there is really no “one size fits all” answer here so I’d love to hear your stories as well.
As a child I ate OK with my family, but we ate a lot of processed food. I worked at McDonald’s as a teen and ate more McDonald’s than I think anyone should ever eat. My young adulthood (college, etc…) I am surprised that I made it with the poor nutrition that I had. I had no money and was happy with just spaghetti noodles, margarine and Parmesan, easy mac and Ramen. It makes me cringe now.
I was the queen of sneaking things when I was young and my parents were not restrictive at all. I had no rationing of halloween candy or anything, really.
I still have the hardest time avoiding candy and sugar. I try and try, but it still sneaks into my diet. Thankfully in the last few months I am controlling it more than I was in the last year. I feel that I am actually slightly addicted to sugar. So I still sneak as an adult – and that makes me feel so guilty.
I try to serve my kids the best that I can. We eat some processed foods, but are phasing it out slowly as we figure out how to eliminate. My daughter is always asking questions of what is good or not good for you to eat, what is good for your body. This year I began to send her to school with a homemade lunch, whereas last year (kindergarten year) she had school lunches every day. The school lunches were so bad, and even in Kindergarten could get snacks whenever they wanted. I am so thankful for the tracking system they have with the lunch account and that I can see what she eats.
My daughter actually prefers the lunches that I send her to school with, but I did see her sneaking in some things. I allow her to have Ice cream once a week and chocolate milk once a week. She abused that as well. I allow it, but she will sometimes sneak more than was allowed. I think that as a child, you will do this – even if you get special things at home or every once and a while at school.
This parenting is hard, but anything you change and try to do better helps them in the long run. We are responsible for teaching them so much, and in my mind, I am running a marathon where the path changes many times and you have to find what works and what doesn’t while trying to do the right thing.
I didn’t want to comment on Facebook, because I don’t want to hurt my parents feelings when I say that I wish they had done a lot of things differently when it came to food. My parents divorced when I was very young and I actually dont remember them being together. They didn’t have a lot of time to parent together, so they would parent how they wanted and there was no consistency between them. When I was with my Mom and stepdad during the week, I would eat very balanced and healthy with a couple of treats here and there. On the weekend, when my Dad would pick me up, he would have a bag from 7-11 with 2-3 individual size bags of different chips and a giant Sprite. When I came home from his house I craved junk all the time, and when I didn’t get it at home I would go to vending machines and stock up on crap and hide it under my bed. Neither of my parents considered discussing my diet and keeping it as healthy as possible all the time. I would eat healthy during the week and pig out on the weekend and it’s something I deal with today. If you are divorced and co-parenting, I hope you discuss the importance of what your kids are eating no matter who they are with. I think my Dad was trying to spoil me and make me happy when I was with him, but I would have been just as happy spending time with him without the junk food.
My relationship with food as a kid was largely defined by a single mom who was constantly dieting and pretty uninvolved in deciding what we kids ate. A lot of people are saying they weren’t taught how to make healthy food choices; I feel more like I wasn’t taught ANYTHING about food beyond how normal it is to be on some sort of weight loss diet. I think that’s a major reason I spent years struggling with bulimia – as an adolescent, I wanted to eat all the crap that a normal kid does, but body shape was paramount. The bingeing was made possible by the absence of parental involvement in any part of meals. I am an adult now, have done my own research and don’t think it’s appropriate to us my lack of childhood education as a crutch, but I do wish that my emotional relationships with food and what I thought was “normal” was different. I remember in my early twenties dating a guy who lived at home. His father was a produce broker, so year round the center of their kitchen island was covered in fruit. This boyfriend would constantly snack on tangerines, plums, apples, etc and I would always marvel at how I just don’t think to eat fruit as a snack – I have to remind myself. So really, I wish eating real food wasn’t a novelty to me; I wish I didn’t inherently think of it as difficult and exceptional. I just had my first child (a daughter) in September, and even though she won’t eat real food herself for awhile, I am committed to providing an environment where real food is the norm and eating is a pleasurable and guilt-free experience. Sometimes I think the people who argue that an emphasis on real food is unhealthy are just projecting their own assumptions that it is inherently unpleasant (which says plenty about our society-wide relationship with food). Real food can be delicious! And personally, I don’t want my kids to find that surprising.
I’m so encouraged to read so many stories about adults wishing their parents taught them healthy eating habits. I have “forced” my kids to eat healthy food since they were babies. They are 7, 5, and 1. My 7 year old totally ‘gets it’. He will choose healthy food over junk any time. He has seen from his own choices how bad food makes his body feel yucky and healthy food makes it feel good. We’re still working on my 5 year old. :) (And the baby eats anything!)
I had an awful upbringing when it comes to food. My mom was a single mom and didn’t have the time or energy to make food. We ate at McDonald’s almost every night for dinner for most of my childhood. When we did eat at home, it was soup from a can or a frozen pizza. I was allowed all the potato chips, candy, and soda that I wanted. I remember my mom lecturing me about eating healthy, but then still buying me chips and soda! I had no idea how to cook, beyond Hamburger Helper.
I was overweight from Jr. high until just recently. I only JUST (like last month) lost my extra weight that I’d been carrying around all that time. Undoing 20 years of bad eating was an extremely difficult process. But I am finally at a point where I happily choose real food and (mostly!) don’t desire junk. It wasn’t until I was married and stumbled upon Michael Pollan’s In Defense of Food several years ago that I realized that there was a whole other world of food out there. Since then I’ve been reading everything I can find on healthy eating and cooking. I really enjoy making healthy, yummy meals for my family knowing that it nourishes them. I am happy knowing I am giving my children a healthy food legacy for them to pull from when they are grown and can make their own choices.
My childhood consisted of healthy, homemade meals my mom cooked. She was the master of portion control and I didn’t realize it until my husband commented how at holiday dinners at my mom’s ‘she never made enough’.
We also had devil dogs, Entemann’s mini chocolate chip cookies and potato chips regularly in my house. Soda! I don’t even remember drinking milk or water as a teen. But, eating out – especially fast food was a treat as was any frozen dinners. I wasn’t overweight as a child. When I got my drivers license – McDonalds was the first place I drove to. Maybe I was rebelling against my mom’s strict food rules. Maybe I was just in the mood for a cheeseburger.
As a parent now – I’m overweight, my husband is overweight and I have one child who has food issues and is overweight (my other two children are within their age-appropriate weight range).
I think our main issue is the fact I wasn’t taught how to make good food choices. It wasn’t a conversation I had with my mom. She cooked; we ate. So when I had independence, I didn’t have the knowledge or tools to select healthier food because all I knew was food was food and I just selected it based on my hunger or convenience.
Sorry this is so long – but I think the MOST important thing we can do is teach our children about healthy eating. Teach our children the dangers of always eating junk. Teach our children the joy of cooking and preparing meals. Teach our children portion control. Because whether you give them devil dogs or carrots for a snack now – if you don’t have these conversations with them so they can make better choices for themselves later, it doesn’t really matter.
Thank you so much for taking the time to have these talks — with your family and with ours.
My mom cooked us healthy dinners every night. We had a few snacks around the house, but we had limits placed on them. One thing I’m most thankful for is that we rarely had dessert. When I was in high school I went to the local pizza place every day for lunch, and would eat pizza rolls at a friend’s house before volleyball practice! I don’t think my mom knew about that. And in college I often had cheezits and Mountain Dew for breakfast! But once I matured a bit and was ready to eat healthily again, I knew how to do it. That’s what I’m so thankful for, and what I’m trying to pass on to my daughter now. I know she’ll sneak food and think I’m mean because we don’t have chips, but when she’s grown and making her own decisions, she’ll know what a healthy diet looks like, and she’ll know how to cook healthy food!
I grew up eating very healthy. No pre-packaged food and treats (even though I BEGGED for Little Debbie since I saw everyone else eating it!). My mom made bread, yogurt, popsicles, etc from scratch and taught us how to eat healthy. In high school I think I ate Taco Bell every day for lunch and in college, not sure I ever ate a vegetable. However, after college I went right back to what my mom taught us, and now teach my kids the same thing. I know they will make their own choices, and not always the right ones, but I already see my kids making a lot of good choices and I am so proud of them for that!
What a powerful collection of quotes and testimonials. As a pediatrician and founder of a healthy lifestyle company that focuses on healthy weight, healthy eating, and active lifestyle— I couldn’t agree more! If healthy habits are not instilled in childhood, it is an uphill battle few will achieve no less maintain. And the health affects of poor choices begin in childhood with plaque build up in the arteries, joint disease, metabolic syndrome, fatty liver, sleep apnea, and more.
Thank you for such a great collection of wisdom, and for highlighting the importance of a healthy childhood.
Jennifer A. Gardner, MD, FAAP, Founder, Healthy Kids Company
http://www.healthykidscompany.com
I have 7 children ranging from 12-22 all raised as vegetarians on a very healthy diet. They all now naturally choose healthy foods and see junk food as an occasional ‘treat’ which none are particularly keen on. In school they were never off sick as were all of their friends and they are now all very healthy and no issues with food. All of them are a healthy size 8-10 and thank me constantly for being so strict with what they were allowed to eat and introducing them to a huge variety of foods. 6 of them are on the autistic spectrum so getting them to try new things was never easy but I’m so glad I put so much effort into encouraging them from a young age. There is no excuse for feeding children rubbish.
Quite an interesting and thought-provoking post. Personally I had a sort of dysfunctional relationship with food as a child because my mom provided us with healthy home-made lunches and dinners but there was ALWAYS junk food and soda in the house. We ate dessert twice a day(after lunch and dinner) and I usually had a “snack” when I got home from school which usually consisted of some packaged treat like Yodels or Devil Dogs (god, those things are so good). I loved my mom’s cooking, too, which was actually pretty healthy, but I always went back for seconds– portion control was not a thing in my house. I was a very active kid so was not too overweight but there were definitely times that I was the chubby one in my very small class and got made fun of for it. The worst part is my mom, although she meant well, started in when I was around the age of 12 of having me go on diets with her. She doesn’t like her body type and I inherited the same one so she was always giving me well-meaning tips about the need to camouflage my “belly.” Whenever we went on a diet we just switched to Snackwells and all those horrible diet junk foods. It’s funny because I always really loved most vegetables and ate well-balanced meals (other than eating too much of them!) but my family’s perception of “snacks” and “treats” was so skewed. When I went to college I *lost* 15 lbs because I was eating at the dining hall, so I just stopped snacking in between meals and what I was eating (even when I had dessert) was freshly prepared. I have a real weakness for junk food and a horrible body image which are things that are hard to overcome (I’m 31 years old!). So you are doing your kids a favor.
My mum did cook proper meals for us but the older we got the less she seemed to care about our nutrition resulting in eating nothing but family sized ready meals every day. I suffered from obesity for as long as I could remember and it is really hard being the fat kid in school. Now that I am in University I have lost 60lbs so far by turning to healthy eating and am finally getting close to what I hope will be my first relationship. What you are doing for your kids is amazing and I think you definitely have the balance right. I know people whose parents were so strict that they were never allowed to ave a cookie at their grandmothers. Well done, and thanks for all the inspiration!
When I was really young, I remember fruit-picking and gathering mushrooms on the way home from school with my mum. But from 6-11 years of age we joined a cult, and food was a real issue there. I won’t go into the details, but it was a mess, and I am aware that I have hang-ups about food since then. For example, I will find myself in fancy restaurants picking the breadcrumbs off the table cloth and eating them, I can’t leave food on my plate, and if you put it near me I have to almost physically sit on my hands to avoid eating it. My nickname is still ‘dustbin’. Fortunately I was always skinny, and I’m only slightly overweight now. Just lucky that way.
We left the cult when I was 11, and we never ate much processed food at home. A few pre-packaged pies, some Heinz Beans, but not much more than that. I learnt to cook over the phone with my mum telling me how to chop the onions, I had cooking classes at school (could always make my pastry go further than anyone else’s!) We’ve always cooked in my household, my mum grew veg in the back garden from time to time. Part of being a Steiner family, I guess. As soon as I had my own garden space – in went the veg!
I spent my pocket money on chocolate and sweets, but my mum never, ever, bought any of that for us. Sometimes there were shop bought biscuits, but it wasn’t part of my diet. Cakes would be homemade. Once or twice a year we might go to McDonald’s of similar. We might get a box of Roses at Christmas, and a chocolate egg at Easter.
Now I have kids, we have a similar diet. We cook at home, nearly all the time. I get bored with food if I start eating out too often. One of the best things about coming home from a long holiday is home-cooked meals. I’ve found my kids like strange food more if they’ve been around while I’m making it, perhaps helped make it, and definitely if I’ve given them a taster before we’re ready to sit down to dinner. We have a rule – if it’s on the table, you have to try it. Most of the time we manage to enforce it. My oldest will eat beans and lentils now without (too much) fussing – but that’s been a 10-year struggle. My youngest – he’s pickier, but we have to say to him “you’re not getting any salad until you’ve eaten your dinner!”
I want my kids to enjoy eating, to enjoy cooking, to like and appreciate good, well-made food, to respect food, to be healthy eaters. But I also want them to understand that food is a luxury that not everyone has, that not everyone likes eating what they’re given to eat, and that one of the most fundamental rules of hospitality is that if someone gives you food – you eat it. No discussion, end of story. To do anything else is disrespectful to them and the generosity they are showing you.
I grew up eating pizza, white bread, bologna, sliced cheese in wrappers, hot dogs, mac n’ cheese, and anything made with ground beef. My great grandmother’s healthiest recipe was roast with potatoes and carrots. We ate fast food a lot, or TV dinners in front of the television. “Snacks” were Twinkies, donuts, Ding Dongs, chips, etc. Once my great grandmother passed away, every night was some variation of hamburger meat (cooked in half a bottle of vegetable oil) with canned fruit and canned veggies, usually peas, corn, or green beans. Lunches consisted of white bread, processed cheese, processed meat, and a dessert. The only time we ate chicken was Fried Chicken night and we ate turkey on Thanksgiving, with the occasional pork chop or steak. The only spices used were lots of salt and pepper. As a result, I didn’t like many foods. I was overweight and lazy. It wasn’t until I began reading cookbooks and becoming very interested in cooking that I realized there was more out there than hamburger meat. I began cooking myself, for my family. One of my first recipes was clam linguine. I loved it, my sister and brother and uncle loved it . . . . my grandma hated it. I was sad, but when my uncle took it for lunch at work the next morning, shared with his colleagues, and brought me raving reviews, was I ready to tackle more inventive recipes. I was into everything: Japanese, Scottish, Indian, Thai, Chinese, Mexican, and Italian cooking. Ten years passed, and three kids later, I was still very overweight, even though I didn’t eat much. I came across the idea of whole foods through books at my library I was browsing through while my kids were at dance. We’ve made great strides towards a better diet since then. We buy nuts, seeds, dried fruit, and whole grain crackers for snacks instead of chips. We make smoothies with chia seeds and wheat germ for breakfast. We only use grapeseed or extra virgin olive oil for cooking. We do not buy white breads (really, now that I’ve gotten used to whole grain, white breads taste like shortening to me now!). We drink milk or lemon water instead of juice. I buy fresh fruits and veggies and they are only organic. Although I would love to buy exclusively organic meats and dairy, we just cannot afford that now. But even still, the steps we have made are AWESOME! The day my oldest daughter (along with my 2 yr old son and 7 yr old daughter) went out to dinner with my inlaws, and she chose to order a platter with fresh fruits and veggies, along with a whole grain pita bread and hummus dip for her lunch, including a Ceasar salad (and counting the Ceasar dressing as a ‘indulgence’ was the best day of my life!
I was rarely allowed sweets, sodas or chips, and I can only remember a handful of times we were allowed to eat fast food. If we were allowed popcorn and hotchocolate, it was a special occasion. Now, 26 with a 2 year old boy, I be sure and ONLY feed him clean, real food. I think any kid should be allowed cake on their birthday and a little chocolate on the holidays, but we avoid artificial colors and flavoring at all times. I appreciate that I was taught to eat well, and I am happy to pass it on to my own child. I have friends who ate fast food every night as children, and now admit they wish they knew how to cook for their husbands and eat healthy. It makes a huge difference. Kids will have pizza parties and candy for special occasions, but moderation is key. And that’s what makes it a special treat. When it’s RARE!
Of course it’s not going to ruin them…not that many things do. In my opinion there is a big difference between raising them with healthy foods and being overly restrictive/prescriptive or controlling about their eating.
But what strikes me about the comments to this blog entry is the large number of variables if you compare comments:
— Forced/not forced to eat vegetables
— Structured meals snacks/no structured meals snacks
— Food (of any definition) available all day long vs. not
— Processed foods in zero, some, and high quantities
— Weight problems no weight problems
— Selective eaters as kids vs. non-selective eaters as kids
— Parents who catered to picky eaters vs. those that did not.
I just don’t think you can draw useful conclusions from this polling. Several who have food issues now, medical problems or would like to lose weight blame their status on their parents feeding them processed foods. But we don’t know it was THAT in and of itself. Perhaps there was no structure. Perhaps there was pressure to eat that extra bite and a bit of learning to ignore natural satiety signals. Perhaps grazing was allowed and that child learned to eat for emotional reasons (which is hard to unlearn). Perhaps their medical problems or weight are in large part genetic. I don’t think you can blame food issues on Kraft Mac & Cheese. I also don’t think you can compare processed entree food (Rice a Roni, hot dogs, boxed mac and cheese, etc) to candy. Lumping ‘additives’ and food dyes and salt and ‘treats’ and entrees and granulated sugar and fat and ‘processed’ and poor feeding practices (which is different than food selection) all together as equally harmful and capable of contributing to all food/diet/health issues is just not realistic.
So while many have had experiences of being fed in ways they now disagree with, I don’t think it is accurate to point only to the food selection practices of their parents or specific food groups as the culprit of their current food/health concerns. There was probably more to the story and the manner in which their parents fed them was probably involved as well.
I for one grew up eating (or at least being served) a variety of from-scratch, Eastern European meals (complete with veggies, dessert, etc). But as an older child we also ate fast food, and stocked our pantry with lots of ‘junk snacks’ and ate tv dinners and so on. Lots of food freedom. I was skinny as a rail then and am still considered quite skinny now as a mom of 2. In college when I ‘discovered’ nutrition and worked my hardest at maintaining an ideal diet — that is when I weighed the most (albeit still within the healthy BMI range). Why? Because I became obsessed with perfecting my diet and restricting this and that and carving this ideal body I had in mind. My point is that what is ‘healthy’ while it can be defined in general, really is an individual thing. I have no noticeable reaction to food dyes and I have not noticed any in my children. So I don’t work too hard to avoid them, but prefer naturally colored things on principle. I also, for various reason, prefer home cooked slightly gourmet-ish food to fast food…MOST of the time. But I also keep lots of boxed Mac & Cheese (not the all natural kind) in my kitchen for those lazy meals. And my kids’ Halloween candy is still around…they are allowed a piece now and then. I bake most of our desserts but also by some ‘junk’ items now and then without reading the ingredients too closely.
My goal with feeding is to give my children happy experiences with meals. To show, by example, that meals are worth taking time for. That meals have various food groups and vegetables are delicious. Mine are young…I don’t teach them about ‘good’ vs. ‘bad’ foods. I don’t require they taste everything on the table, but I won’t make a separate meal for them either. They will learn what we eat and with time that will be their normal.
I was blessed to have a mom who really did try to provide the healthiest diet for us. Meat, fruits, veggies, whole grains, no sugary cereals, treats were occasional, dinner was cooked nightly, soda wasn’t present.
I do think I got mixed messages regarding what were actually healthy habits. I was taught things like pretzels, corn chips and salsa were “healthy” snack choices. I was told cheese and peanut butter were high fat and a bad snack choice. I was taught “diet” and “lean” products (packaged and fake) were good choices. It took me a long time to replace all the chemicals I was consuming with “real” food.
Unfortunately I was affected by the “diet culture” and the bad nutritional info that provides, leaving the dieter in a constant cycle of obesity, failure, poor health and poor self worth from “failing”. Once I learned how to nourish my body CORRECTLY I maintained a healthy weight with the proper nutritional guidance. Far easier to maintain eating real food than the “yo yo” experience of relying on “diet” meals, chemical sweeteners and processed food to make me healthy.
My husband and I do our best to enforce healthy habits for our son which included replacing all white refined sugar and eating “raw” and “whole” foods and limiting processed food, sugary candy and even limiting food that is “organic” and “whole grain” but not nutritionally complete. Within weeks of throwing away the “fruit snacks”, cookies and packaged “granola bars” we found he was asking for bananas, peanut butter,eggs, steamed veggies and the occasional “candy” fruit leather he wasn’t even asking for them anymore.
I was also one of those kids raised on junk food – mainly, I think, because all the processed convenience food was still so new in the 70s! My school lunch was white bread sandwiches, a chocolate covered biscuit bar, and a packet of chips! Breakfast was cereal (we were allowed the sugary ones, but weirdly never the chocolate ones!) or white bread toast with butter and jam. Dinners were a combination of home cooked, wholesome foods, and ready made convenience foods – probably more of the latter and more and more became available (in the UK) – crispy pancakes, chicken nuggets, frozen pizzas, tinned soups etc. And yup, like most I ended up being one of those overweight people with a massive carb problem. I ditched the junk a long time ago and these days eat very little carbs and finally have reached a place where I no longer obsess about or crave certain foods, but it took me nearly 40 years to get there!! My kids are being raised on 95% unprocessed, home cooked foods at meal times, but with no major restrictions outside of that so they do still get chips, chocolates, biscuits and sweets, but they are not a major part of their diet. The only thing I don’t allow at all is fizzy drinks and there are limits only on WHEN they can eat the other stuff. They also don’t binge eat – if they are given a packet of something like M&Ms they can have say 10 a day, not the whole packet at once. They each have a basket where they put any sweets that they are given (party packs, visitors etc) and each day they can each choose something to have from it. So this may mean they have sweets (candy) every day for a few weeks and then it might all run out until the next party, during which time they can choose fruit or yogurt after their main meal instead.
I was raised on a combo of processed food and decent meals prepared by my parents. I have memories of Round Table pizza or tacos with fried shells on Friday nights. Air popped popcorn with Nesquick chocolate milk or fishy crackers after school. Swan’s ice cream cups, cones, and bars. And hostess cupcakes that my neighbor friends and I would regularly sneak from the freezer and eat on the side of the house, out of view. At the age of 12 I told the adults in charge of my meals that I would no longer be eating fast food- I don’t remember why, but chances are I already knew how crummy it made me feel. At 19 I was diagnosed with IBS and while a whole foods diet helps tremendously, I still battle symptoms regularly. Now, at 30 I obsessively promote the whole foods lifestyle in hopes to teach my daughter a healthy view on food. I hope she doesn’t battle infertility, massive sugar cravings, and a broken gut like me. I only wish there was more support from the people around us, though they seem to be taking baby steps…
If you weren’t teaching them good habits you would be judged for that too. Parents just can’t win these days with this tough crowd they call the internet. Everyone has an opinion on how you should raise your children. -_-
I am so fascinated by this; I’ve been thinking a LOT recently as I struggle to change my (horrible) eating issues.
I grew up in a house where junk food was few and far between, and we always had at least one vegetable at dinner, as well as plenty of salads. My Mom cooked fairly healthy, but also used items like cream soups. In contrast to this, I also had plenty of instances of witnessing my Mom binge eating ~ on a bag of Hershey’s kisses, spoons of peanut butter, or even healthy items. In my opinion, I think that the one biggest factor that lead to my confusion and now deeply ingrained food issues is that food choices were never actually TALKED about or explained.
By the time I was a teenager, I would sneak and binge on junk food anytime I had access to it. I would even spend my own money on it. I learned to eat in secret, which is something I struggle with strongly still (I’m nearly 28). When I moved out of my parents’ house, it felt like a huge freedom to eat anything I wanted, anytime: ice cream for breakfast, fast food, chips and dip, whatever. I now am in a place where I have the knowledge and desire to eat healthy, but I also turn to food as a coping mechanism, and when I do that, it seems like I turn to the junkiest food I can find, even though the stuff totally repulses me!!
Whew. That feels like a long story. Thanks for tackling this issue!
I grew up in a home with processed food galore. Everything came from a box or a can. We did always have apples and bananas in the house but nothing more “exotic” than that. I wasn’t SUPER picky but I had certain things I didn’t like to eat. We weren’t allowed to have TONS of desserts or free reign but I remember sneaking lots of junk food throughout the years. My mom always had a meat, starch and veggie on our plates at dinner and we were usually forced to eat them. Now, after years of cooking like that for my husband and kids I have started to cook real whole foods. I am a LONG way from there but I feel so much better about what the kids are eating. I am so convinced that the fuel we put in our bodies makes such a huge impact on us. The other day my mom asked me if I was going to get a flu shot and I told her no, I don’t want that poison in my body and she said “what has changed you?” and I told her that research and knowledge of what types of things are actually in shots and processed foods have changed me…changed me for the better I hope. Again, it’s a battle but we’re slowly winning!!!
Hi Jamie. I’m glad you have learned to eat healthy, non-processed foods, but I have to point out that vaccines are a totally different issue. Many people do not realize that the supposed “scientific studies” that claimed vaccines were the cause of autism, etc, were actually based on totally falsified data, and all of the “scientists” and doctors involved have been discredited. We are now seeing a resurgence of easily preventable and serious diseases that were once almost eliminated (for example, whooping cough), and this is due to people refusing to vaccinate their children. I beg you to do more research on this topic, by using actual peer-reviewed journals, or asking your GP or pediatrician for information. If you would like sources for what I said, I would be happy to provide you with them. I am passionate about this issue, and it makes me very angry that well-meaning parents like you have been deceived by the quacks who made all this up.
Whew. Sorry for the soapbox, but please, please listen to what I said.
We didn’t eat a single unprocessed meal in my house. We lived off Hamburger helper, frozen pizzas and Stouffers. All veggies were canned. Fruit was canned, with the rare exception of an orange or banana.
I too, wish my parents had fed me better. Instead, I was put on a diet from the age of 8 until 31 when I had WLS to deal with diabetes, sleep apnea, and a host of other problems.
Part of the problem is while we all ate total garbage, my brother and father remained thin. They still live on hot dogs, Mountain Dew, and Reese’s PB cups and are fine. While my mother and I have been obese for decades. Even when we tried to “diet” or eat better they would not remove the crap from the house because “they should not have to change their lives for us.”
I wish so bad that my parents had been able to get on the same page so that my life would’t have been and continue to be, a huge struggle.
I am 28 and the middle of five girls. We rarely ate out and always ate dinner at the table as a family but breakfast was always a poptart or toaster strudel, lunch at school (it was very uncool to bring your lunch) and dinner was Hamburger Helper with some canned veggies.
When I first got married we couldn’t afford these convenience foods that both hubby and I were accustomed to. I had to make things from scratch to stretch our measly grocery budget. I’ve learned about whole grains, full-fat, unprocessed as the years have gone on. My kids hate it if we ever have to grab fast food, “Mom, this doesn’t taste like chicken. Your rolls don’t taste like this.” It makes me laugh b/c everyone gives me such a hard time about the foods we eat and the care I take to prepare good food.
My parents grew up in a third world country. So, I was taught to clear my plate, and eat what was given to you. No matter what it was. My mother, until this day, will serve white rice, as a side dish. She would serve me a WHOLE fish, at 9yrs of age. Refined foods were regularly served, and no one ever knew any better. Like many others have stated:”I WISH MY MOTHER KNEW BETTER!” I have changed my family’s diet. My children will eat refined foods with my mom. I can’t control everything. However, I do my best to serve WHOLE foods, to them. I will NOT be held responsible for an overweight child. I hated not being able to compete with my classmates, because I was SO overweight, I couldn’t keep up. I don’t want my children to watch on the sidelines, like I did.
I grew up with mostly convenience foods. I’m told my mom “tried” to feed us healthy food, but when she went back to work our cupboards were loaded with fruit-by-the-foot, cookies, cheese-it’s, gushers, squeeze-it drinks (just as bad as soda… Maybe worse!), etc. we packed our own lunches and I could easily pack a lunch full of all this snacks with not a one veggie or even a protein! I cringe when I think of it. At some point (maybe in college, but mostly when I became a mom and was responsible for the health and well-being of another tiny human) I realized how important it is to eliminate the chemicals and focus on whole, natural foods. My biggest struggle are the family members in my life (and husband) who were raised like me, and are perfectly healthy. They believe that because they are “fine,” that there is no need to overhaul our diets and eliminate/avoid all the chemical-laden foods. Not sure what to do about this. I know it has an effect, however because there are no direct problems associated with the processed diet in our families, most people just think I am crazy and overly protective of my children (and that I will cause an eating disorder!). It is extremely frustrating!
I grew up in a home with 3 children and a single father working hard to provide for us. Most nights we ate fast food, or microwave food. Weid eat a lot of veggis and salad, but mostly things like bagel dogs and pizza. We never tried new foods or learned about what was good for our body and what a healthy portion size was. We ate whenever we wanted with no limits on what, how much or when we ate. However we where very active so my siblings and I where never overweight as children. However I had a child at 18 and my lifestyle changed, along with my activity level. However my eating habits only got worst. In those next couple years I put on 100 extra pounds. Just in the last 2 years have I worked to learn what real health is and to teach it to my children. I have lost 120 pounds by exerciseing, making healthy food choices and using portion control. I am so thankful that my children are still young enough that they will only remember us eating like this and the healthy lifestyle I am teaching them will be there norm. Because I will tell you that learning and changing my food habits was a very difficult thing to do is a constants struggle for me.
I really just started learning and caring about what we ate when I became pregnant with our twin boys (who are now 3). We’ve always given them a variety of whole foods to try and have had much success. They, as of lately, have started to become more specific with their food preferences, liking some things and not others they had previously, but I find that continuing to present the foods they reject has led to them trying them eventually, and sometimes liking them. We’ve tried creating salads “Subway” style, whereas I’ll ask the boys to pick their own salad fixings instead of giving them a one-size-fits all bowl. This seems to work well and one of our little guys chose cherry tomatoes and enjoyed them for the first time after he arranged them decoratively around the outside of his plate like Mommy did ;)
We also take them grocery shopping and they love to pick out produce. Although I don’t condone taste-testing in the grocery store, my heart smiles a little bit when our boys try to munch on the broccoli they put in our cart or eagerly hand the cashier a red pepper with toddler teeth marks on it whilst beaming from ear to ear.
Our boys are certainly not immune to the pull of processed and sugary treats, which they certainly enjoy occasionally, but I try to emphasize that we like to eat foods that are good for our bodies, those foods that will help us grow strong and smart and healthy. So when they ask what a new food is, I’ll name it and tell them why we do or don’t eat it a lot. For instance, “Those are Timbits. They’re full of sugar, which isn’t good for our bodies, so we don’t eat them a lot. They’re a sometimes food.” vs. “That’s broccoli. It will help your body grow strong and healthy. We can eat as much broccoli as we want to.”
My hope for our boys is that as they grow and expand their food repertoire, they will develop an appreciation for wholesome foods and understand that there is a time and a place for treats, rather than many times and many places. I hope that as they become more independent with their food choices they will be able to appreciate the novelty of a treat and not choose one over a wholesome meal.
And kudos to you, Lisa! I love your blog and find your family’s eating habits inspiring. I have gained many tips and recipes from reading your posts. Thanks for taking the time to share!
I grew up with AWFUL eating habits…pizza delivery, buckets of chicken, Happy Meals, Kool-Aid, and potato chips were the norm. As a result, I was overweight and had no idea about nutrition and eating a balanced diet. After college, I moved to CA and my life changed forever. I discovered what real eating and nutrition was all about. And I LOVED it. I became much healthier and much happier. I still crave the junk food now and then, but 9 times out of 10, I make the healthier choice because I PREFER it. Now, as I mother of two, I do the best I can to provide them with a huge variety of real foods, organic foods, and balanced nutritional meals. And I will continue to guide them into healthy eating for as long as I live. I still hold much resentment towards my parents for being so careless and lazy about what they fed me growing up. Their attitude and choices of food are still poor, and their health is not good.
I am the youngest of 6 who grew up in the 70’s and am very grateful to have had a mom who was very ahead of her time with regards to food/nutrition. Although we did have the occasional Oreo or other cookie (remember Pin Wheels??), my mom made homemade dishes with real food & even did so on a tight budget. She also made all of our lunches though we were allowed 1 “hot lunch” at school per month (we usually picked fish stick day – yuck!). She did “force” us to try new foods–and with a family of 8–often said, “this isn’t a restaurant, you will eat what you are served.” Though we rarely had McDonald’s, we did like our pizza–but it was again limited to once a month. Everyone in my family had a healthy body weight/healthy profile growing up–and I do contribute that to my mom’s attention to nutrition and her willingness to indulge now and again. What I think is really interesting is that my older siblings have all adapted somewhat unhealthy eating habits as adults. Some of them have challenging lives (family issues/divorce/employment etc), which I know may play into their choices. Each of them struggles with weight, a few are even on cardiac medications for lowering cholesterol & high blood pressure. I do not see them treating food/nutrition the way we were raised. I have generally maintained healthy eating choices throughout adulthood, but definitely have become much more focused in recent years. I enjoy indulgences, but really do see food as an energy source more than reward or pleasure. I guess the point of all of this, is that some adults may still choose an unhealthy diet in spite of having a good learning environment as a child. I suppose the foundation is important, but emotions/environment/lifestyle choices etc also play a role in the choices people make regarding food. Still, I strongly believe in my role as a parent to provide healthy and nutritional meals–and to also provide the education as to why I choose the foods I do. Sometimes the “why” of a decision helps more than anything else we can do or say. I would not deny my daughters a few cookies or ice cream or other snack. However, I am teaching them to find alternatives to processed foods & giving them options. I firmly believe setting the right foundation, and treating food as nourishment NOT reward is key. At least I know they will understand nutrition–the rest will be up to them as adults.
I grew up with the typical American diet. Dessert every night and lots of white bread, chips, etc. I struggled with asthma and weight. My mom’s family all struggle with their weight. I have lost 90 pounds and all I have done is change my eating habits. When my sons asthma started to get out of control we switched the whole family to an unprocessed lifestyle. He is doing so much better! He can run and not wheeze! My parents are struggling with mobility due to obesity and autoimmune diseases but they don’t want to give up their “fast” food and dessert (made with white sugar). I have struggled for years with depression also. We even avoided Halloween this year (we did other things to make it special). People were horrified but my son cannot have gluten or dairy and the last time he had processed sugar snacks we went to the emergency room and he had to take steroids for his asthma! People need to understand, I am not ruining my child’s life but teaching them a healthy lifestyle so that they can thrive and do what they want in life. It’s sad that I feel like you have to justify it. I wish my parents had taught me to eat properly.
My mom did her best to feed us what she knew to be healthy for us. That is, what was purported to be healthy in the 80’s. I think she used convenience foods in my school lunches only because she wasn’t very creative with food. We had dessert every night because it made my dad happy, but my parents truly did eat all things in moderation, and she made almost all meals at home from scratch. Overall, although I allow fewer snack junk foods in my own home, I think my parents gave me a good foundation. As a matter of faith, we believe that our bodies are made by God, and that in caring for them well, we are honoring him.
I grew up in a house of healthy, hearty, home-cooked foods, with an allotment of treats (but never as many treats as I noticed my friends had). When I was in high school and college and gained control over my diet I ate a LOT of unhealthy foods, but now at age 25 I have come back around to healthy food. I had my short junk food rebellion and I am so glad now that I was raised with healthy foods, because growing/cooking/eating nutritious food is a huge part of my life now.
On the other side, as a nanny (a huge part of my job is feeding toddlers), it is VERY HARD to get kids to eat a healthy and varied diet. I applaud everyone who sticks to their guns on this. It’s easy to lose heart when a good, creative meal you just cooked gets nothing more than a glare from a 2 year old, or dumped on the floor, etc. Keep it up.
I grew up with a very strict vegetarian mother and a very strict carnivorous farmer father. We only ever had farm fresh food on the table, homemade whole wheat bread , everything from scratch and all my lunches were made with love by my mom. She would occasionally make dessert for us , but for the most part, we were not allowed junk food and excess sugar. I carried those values with me through high school and on into college. While many of friends gained the dreaded “freshman 15” I remained the same weight, still eating those things I was used to. I didn’t have cravings for French fries, or candy bars just the food I liked. And now that I have children of my own I strive to give them good clean and wholesome foods just like my mom did for my brother and I. I’m grateful everyday for her guidance and strictness, although at the time I never perceived it as such, I just thought food made by hand was better than the stuff that came in a box.
Growing up, my family’s diet was not the best. We ate fast-food or pizza at least 2-3 times a week, lots of Encore frozen meals, Spaghettios, Hamburger Helper, frozen chicken patties, more than our fair share of Kraft Mac and Cheese…”vegetables” were corn, potatoes (fried or mashed), and sometimes green beans. There were always snack foods available — chips, Pringles, Little Debbie, etc.
Breakfast was Pop-tarts or toaster strudel or kid cereals with a tablespoon or two of sugar added or cold Pizza Hut pizza or whatever school was serving (specifically I remember sausage on a stick wrapped in a pancake dipped in syrup!)
Lunch was Lunchables or chips and white bread PBJ or cold Pizza Hut pizza or whatever school was serving (especially on pizza days or chicken nugget days).
We drank Pepsi like it was going out of style. There was almost always a carton or two of ice cream in the freezer.
My entire family is overweight or obese. I was obese by first grade, too. I think my parents did the best they could with what they knew. I think it also would be SO HARD to “fix” your kids and get them eating healthy after they’ve only known junk. I think the Internet and Pinterest could have done a world of good in our food-lives…I think sites like yours which show school lunches that are healthy buy aren’t Martha Stewart fancy (all those cutesy little bento scenes with Hello Kitty are way out of my zone!).
I had lots of access to junk food and no one ever really stopped me, but I still sneaked food. I STILL sneak food, actually. Once I grew up and moved out of mom and dad’s house, I didn’t have access to as much junk food and I started losing weight. For the first time in my life I am out of the “obese” zone. I weight less than what I weighed when I graduated high school! I still have about 15 lbs before I’m no longer “overweight” and it has been really hard because I really struggle with food. Junk food is hyperpalatable. It messes with our brain chemistry. Even junk foods that I haven’t eaten in years can make me salivate if I’m reminded of it…and then I can’t get it out of my brain until I eat it. It’s ridiculous. I struggle a lot with sugar addiction — there is no “moderation” — if you give me a cookie, then I’m going to desperately want 10 more.
As an adult, it has been really difficult to figure out how to cook healthy foods and also how to LIKE them. I had brussel sprouts for the very first time this year. I worry about how I’ll raise my own (future) kids. I don’t want them eating junk often (or even in so-called “moderation” at school, from grandparents, at church, etc) but my fiance thinks kids should get those treats and junk food. I’m hoping that as I get better at eating healthy and get him on the bandwagon a little more, he’ll eventually come over to my side. We’ve got a while, at least. :)
ANYWAY long story short, please keep feeding your kids healthy foods and sharing your site! It’s great and I’ve actually shared it with my mom because it is way more approachable than some of the other “whole food” sites.
Hi Brittany.
I love that you are taking control of your health and trying new foods! It is hard to make a change, isn’t it? But I find it so worth it!
I am like you with sugar – if I start eating something sweet, I have immense difficulty stopping. I don’t know about you and your situation, but personally I have a yeast overgrowth which makes me crave sugars and carbs (because it feeds the yeast in your body). Might be worth looking into.
Hi bee! I don’t know if I have any yeast issues (I’ve never had a yeast infection, but I don’t know if that’s quite the same thing!) but I recently bought the 21-Day Sugar Detox book (which is basically paleo with lower sugary foods) so I plan to start that after Thanksgiving and see if I can get it under control!
I grew up in a relatively healthy household – at least I thought so at the time. No pizza take-out, no fast food, no hot school lunches, and home cooked meals eaten together as a family. But we were also surrounded by processed snacks galore. My dad worked 42 years for Nabisco so I suppose it was inevitable. Our mom was very active and my sister and I grew up in sports. As influential as that all was, the biggest influence for me, as I became an adult, was my dad. He never took care of himself. He worked all the time, never exercised, ate processed foods (and ate out all the time because he often travelled), and drank too much. And at 64 years old (when I was 19) he passed away from cancer. That event alone scared me into taking the best care of myself I could. I understood that one cannot just drift through life eating whatever we pleased and living a sedentary life. I knew early on that I never wanted to live life with regrets. What if something happened to me later in life? I’d always wonder, “What if I had taken better care of myself? Would this have happened??” Now I know no matter what happens down the road, I did the best I could. I exercise and constantly strive to eat as best as I can. And I’m excited to say that my oldest (7 years old) is starting to follow in my footsteps very willingly on her own. She enjoys being active (soccer, rock climbing, kids fun runs, biking, etc.) and enjoys eating healthy. She still loves her dessert after finishing dinner, but knows there’s a time and place for those special treats. :)
Lisa,
First let me start by saying, that I get your frustration was not about the food, but about the sneaking behind your back. I think its fair to say you would feel the same if your daughter had watched a movie you didn’t feel was appropriate without your knowledge.
That being said, I agree that we have to be careful about how far we push our children with food. I think how you are managing it is WONDERFUL! I have seen both sides of eating issues, those who provide unlimited junk food and end up with obese kids and those who limit food so much (or make comments about weight) who end up with children with eating disorders.
One of best things I feel people can do is provide whole foods at home and teach your children about BALANCE. The one thing that I think people forget to do is BE THE EXAMPLE. I’m relatively new to your blog, but I think that you’ve done a great job at this. Balance is about eating healthy and allowing sometimes foods, sometimes! Many people forget this and include them all the time…daily and weekly are not sometimes foods.
Growing up we had healthy food in the house…I remember I used to love going to one of my cousins houses cause they always had soda…we never had it in the house. However, I was a HORRIBLE eater as a child. I wouldn’t eat spaghetti, only the noodles. I wouldn’t eat cooked vegetables, plenty of raw ones were off the table as well, I had texture and temperature issues (some of which I’m still particular about today…no creme brulee for me!), and I just didn’t do well with change especially when it came to food. My mother was AMAZING and handled my OCD food issues with grace and calm. Basically she made one meal (and if I didn’t like it then I knew how to make PB&J) and would nonchalantly go about the meal with the rest of the family. (I ate a lot of PB&J as a child) However, my mother stayed the course…and now that I’m all grown up I eat healthy I even became a dietitian. (I realize this technique might not work for all moms struggling to get kids to try more foods, but shouldn’t we support each other not tear each other down?)
I do, like most still struggle with things I would like to improve in my diet/lifestyle. I recently had a baby and now that we are getting ready for him to start eating I’m doing a 100 day pledge! (Currently on day 4!) It’s funny the problem for me wasn’t the fruits/veggies/whole foods, it was giving up some of my condiments (mayo, ketchup, dressings – on a side note I am LOVING my home made versions more than my store bought ones!) and the big one…Diet Soda…Oh how I love it! I gave it up while pregnant, but recently became super dependent on it when I went back to work. So I thought and planned and now am making a new commitment to my health and the health of my child! Here’s to raising healthy little ones!
Thank you for keeping your posts honest! Stay strong and healthy!
Your post yesterday really struck a chord with me, bringing up memories and feelings I hadn’t realized were so strong. I applaud your effort to teach your children good nutrition and making healthy decisions. I often wish I had one of your creative lunchboxes to bring to work! Learning how to eat healthier as a adult is much harder when those patterns haven’t been ingrained. My mother was raised in a easy meals, processed foods household and barely knew how to cook canned soup when she got married. She’s never been comfortable with it, and raising three kids on a limited budget she followed what she knew. Until she decided one of us was hyperactive, then all the sugar and artificial stuff had to go. It was like when someone goes on a big diet and throws out half their pantry. She didn’t realize how the sudden change in diet impacted us and didn’t have enough comfort level to make things tasty. My first memory of lying to my parents is about stealing a bag of jellybeans from a friend’s house, and I remember my abject humiliation when my dad found candy wrappers under my bed. I have had a issue with food ever since I was a kid. I wish my mom had known more about nutrition, enjoyed making healthier food tasty, or even taught me about portions and serving sizes. I’m in my 40s and I still struggle with servings and bad carbs, but I eat better than I have since I went to college. However I still view food as comforting rather than life sustaining, and don’t ever do well feeling deprived or denied.
I could not disagree more. At my childhood home, we had snacks and soda 24/7. No limits. Neither my sister nor I have ever been overweight or obese. (We also have all our teeth). My friends, many of whom had a parent or parents who outright banned soda, candy, etc., were frequently coming over to help themselves to our stash. Guess who wound up overweight and with disordered eating patterns? I saw the same thing when I went to college – the kids who were held at the end of a tight leash went nuts.
I don’t recommend doing what my parents did. My point is that using outright, unexceptional BANS on certain foods or drinks tends to backfire down the road. Teaching kids how to self-moderate is a much better option.
I grew up eating very healthy – we weren’t offered a lot of sweets, my mom cut the sugar in practically everything, we always ate whole wheat, and we didn’t eat a lot of processed food. Interestingly, I never even realized we ate differently until I was an adult. I never felt different, odd, or left out – it was just the way we ate. Adult friends have actually said they felt bad my childhood which is just crazy. I get teased more now about my “healthy” eating than I ever did growing up.
I just wanted to say that kids won’t necessarily feel left out or think that they’re missing something great when you feed them real food.
Oh, I forgot to add that I read one of those quotations you had in yout post where the person ate wheat germ on yogurt and it reminded me of how we used wheat germ…as a topping for ice cream :)
My husband looked at me like I had grown a second head when I first mentioned getting some wheat germ for ice cream.
I grew up with my food being restricted. I wasn’t allowed treats or junk food. When it was in the house it was very restricted. I know now this is because my mom couldn’t afford junk food. But, now I have a very unhealthy relationship with junk food. I feel that I need to eat all of it immediately or someone else will get it. I have unlearned many of these habits by allowing myself to have as much as I want. Now, I don’t really want it, and I don’t really know why I even liked some of it. I try very hard to not restrict what my kids want to eat. I let them eat when they are hungry and eat as much as they want. If they learn to listen to their bodies, food will be fuel. None of them are overweight. I don’t force them to eat anything. We pretty much only have minimally processed food in the house anyway. No food is forbidden.