Can someone please explain at what point in history it was decided that children’s menus would only offer the following?
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- Hamburger/Cheeseburger with French Fries (or Chips)
- Hot Dog/Corn Dog with French Fries (or Chips)
- Chicken Fingers with French Fries (or Chips)
- Macaroni and Cheese
- Cheese Pizza
- Plain Pasta
Sure my kids would gladly devour any of these choices, but I often wonder when it was decided that kids need a special, separate meal in the first place? Since when can’t they just eat what the adults are eating? Has it always been this way? Surely not.
It amazes me when we go to birthday parties and the food served to kids consists of pizza and cake. How is that possibly being passed off as a “complete meal” for our next generation? Where are the fruit and vegetables? When was it decided that kids would only eat a handful of simple (and somewhat bland) foods? I understand that pizza is usually a crowd pleaser, but how and when did things get to be so limited?
How did children end up with such a limited palate?
I too used to be guilty of thinking kids had a very limited palate. Not long after embarking upon our “100 Days of Real Food” pledge it dawned on me that I had never before offered my daughters a salad because…they are kids after all! That is honestly the only reason (other than the fact that we didn’t eat salad all the much in the old days), but I just assumed they wouldn’t be interested because “kids don’t like salads”…right? Well you should have seen how shocked I was when I finally offered my children a salad and saw my older daughter actually eating it. And liking it! It took much longer for my younger daughter to come around, but after lots of repeated exposure she eventually became open to the idea of salad (and more importantly began to expect it as a norm at our family dinners). That was definitely a lesson learned for me.
One thing I’ve noticed is that many kids these days will only eat foods if they look a certain way (i.e. familiar). If there is a variation from the norm then the whole meal could be a flop. Why is that? I’ll never forget this one instance (long before our real food days) when my parents were babysitting my 3-year-old niece. They knew she liked and would eat Kraft Macaroni & Cheese so that was the plan for her dinner. But what they didn’t know was since they bought Kraft “Shells” Macaroni & Cheese instead of the traditional variety that all hell would break loose. Has anyone had a similar experience?
Do your kids willingly try new foods?
It’s no secret that food is a big part of my life and one of the things I am interested in is other people’s food choices. I am curious what choices they make and why. One thing I’ve noticed is that when I am preparing food in the kitchen and I offer my children a bite of something, they almost always take me up on it. Usually it’s something I know they love like a piece of parmesan cheese, a bite of pesto, or a roasted cashew, but I admit I occasionally take advantage of the situation and slip a piece of olive in their mouths just to be sure they still don’t like it. They’ll make a face and spit it out, but thankfully it doesn’t stop them from coming back. :)
I’ve also noticed when I offer other kids a little bite of something as well they are almost always very much against the idea of taking the sample (usually before they even know what it is). Maybe it’s because I am not their mom and they’re scared what that “Organic Miss Lisa” might try to make them eat, but their response is dramatically different than what I am used to with my own children. I bring this up because I am curious about other’s experiences when you offer your own children new foods or bites of what you might be eating. Do they act like it is straight-up poison?
Can a picky eater really be converted?
Our younger daughter used to be extremely picky so I totally get it. It was much easier and much less time consuming (and also much less likely that food would be wasted) if I only offered her what I knew she would eat. I recently came across a document I’d typed up - for the same babysitting grandparents mentioned above - that was a complete list of all the foods my younger daughter would eat (she was 3 at the time). Let me tell you that it was a very short list with a mere 31 items on it including Spaghettio’s, Goldfish, Graham Crackers, only 1 dish containing meat (spaghetti sauce), 5 types of fruit, and only 1 vegetable (frozen peas).
Looking back I am amazed at how far this child has come. She was one of those that would spit out her baby food before she knew it was fun to annoy mommy by not liking anything. Her palate was dramatically different than our older daughter’s from day one. But after two years (since taking our pledge) of repeatedly offering her a variety of different foods she thankfully now has a broader palate than most adults. I will be the first to tell you it has not been easy, and many months passed before any of our efforts started to pay off. But since this is one of my only first-hand examples of watching a child’s eating habits change over time, I wonder if I can really attribute the change in her to something we’ve done or if she would have grown out of that picky phase on her own regardless?
What’s your opinion?
So I’d love to open this up for discussion….what is everyone else’s experience/input on children’s eating habits these days? Why are so many kids so incredibly picky and is it possible to change their preferences? I wonder what it was like a hundred years ago (or even now in other countries)…have kids always been catered to with a limited variety of special, separate meals?? Do we only give kids pizza and hot dogs because that’s all they’ll eat or do they only eat pizza and hot dogs because that’s all we give them? How can we break this cycle?
Flosshea says
I used to think that kids only liked bland food, or that they could only handle bland. When I had my second child, I started making my own baby food, and one mom mentioned that her baby loved hummus. I love Arabic food, and had hummus on hand often, so I tried it with my little one and he loved it! Then I thought, I bet kids in Asia eat spicy, interesting and a variety of foods that are more nutritional than pizza and french fries (not that we had those a lot). I make lunches relatively the same since its just me and the boys all day, but dinners I take chances and my kids are always willing to try. This is amazing since my boys are 2 and 4 (peak picky eater season). My younger one has a longer list of foods he will eat than my older one who was raised on bland food. When we go out to eat, I tend to buy off the sides menu for the kids and I have fun watching the waitress surprised face that my boys are eating broccoli with gusto! ;)
100 Days of Real Food says
We do the same thing (most of the time) and order a grouping of adult side items or have our kids split an adult entree. They occasionally get to order off the kids menu as a "treat" but I'll never forget the shocked look on the waitress's face when one time I ordered a lamb shank entree for my girls to split! LOL
Linda says
My seventeen year old was eating sliced black olives at age two. He(now)also eats pumpernickel bread, onions, hot curries, and sushi. He enjoys kefir and Greek yogurt. He loves fish, and eats almost no red meat. Foods that he doesn't like, I will occasionally ask him to taste, just to see if his taste buds have changed. I still can't interest him in asparagus!
charlotte gracer says
I've stopped beating myself up about it. It's not me, it's them. I continue to offer them a variety of foods, which they mostly reject, they take a multi-vitamin and thankfully like a wide variety of fruits. My kids are not overweight and continue to be tall right off the charts. They will grow out of it just like I did, I love trying new foods now and eat a ton of veggies and salads but not as a kid. My oldest son has ADHD and Sensory Processing Disorder and my youngest son has ADHD and Autism, so I've realized there is a lot more to their pickiness and like I said, I will not give myself an ulcer about it anymore.My daughter is typically developing and has a much more varied diet. Love your site.
Ami says
P.S. I have only RARELY bought a kid's meal on the menu (unless it is a non-bland food with a vegetable with it). We usually just get an adult meal and split it between the 3 or just feed them off our plates!
Jen says
I completely agree with the lack of necessity of childrens' menus. I grew up eating whatever my parents did and by only offering them these unhealthy select items we are training our kids to gravitate towards them. I've also seen parents insist on their kids finishing the pizza or hot dogs etc. at events when they probably shouldn't even be offering them in the first place.
I have noticed that children prefer blander foods than adults, so whatever I am making I try to season less for my 9 year old. Some children have texture issues which can possibly be related to the 'taste' issue of preferring bland options (dry pasta vs in sauce or butter)
Ami says
I have 3 kids, and we have a rule in our house - you must try one bite of everything before you can say you don't like it. Luckily, my husband is Egyptian and from Montreal, so he is very open to many foods and different ethnic foods (one of the reasons I love him so much!). So, the kids get exposed often to new choices (and when pregnant, I try to have a wide variety of foods and when breastfeeding as well - don't know if that works, but I have a theory that it does). Also, the first course of the meal is the vegetable - you have to pass go before we move to the next course. My husband is great at making eating (and new foods) FUN!!!! At a Thai restaurant, we had a soup with some interesting mushrooms, which he nicknamed as "hats". One kid ate it and liked it and so the others were intrigued because it was so fun - and everyone joined in! Because I pack snacks for school, I think my older daughter likes that people think that she's weird because she'll eat jicama or other strange foods!...
Marcia @Frugal Healthy Simple says
My son is not a very picky eater, mostly because I didn't allow it. I've been mean.
If he's not hungry, he doesn't have to eat. But he'll get the leftovers for the next meal.
We have a 3 bite rule - he has to take 3 bites of everything. He's 6.
There was a time around age two where he started saying that he didn't like something, but I didn't allow it. I also don't allow nieces/nephews to say they don't like something in front of him.
Up until age 4, if we went out, he just ate our food, which was real food. I don't stress much about the kids meals now because we always make sure he gets some of our veggies, if the kids meal doesn't come with it. We don't eat out much anyway.
He does have 4 foods that he "doesn't like" and doesn't ever have to eat. These are pineapple, red peppers, raisins, and mushrooms. Truth be told, he eats red peppers and mushrooms on occasion, chopped very finely in recipes. He just doesn't realize it. He can add a food to that list, but another one has to come off.
Kristin says
Sometimes I think pickiness is also in the nature of the kid. Two years ago my oldest loved asparagus and lettuce, now she won't touch them. She currently wants only YELLOW cherry tomatoes, but hey she's still eating tomatoes, so I give in and buy the yellow ones. Though, I still buy red grape tomatoes at trader joes using the excuse "they didn't have any yellow ones" (true). I do feel that taking your kids grocery shopping or to the farmers market, will lead them to want to try more produce. My oldest often picks interesting things to try that she might not touch if I brought it home. As for restaurants, we eat out so infrequently that I often let my girls have their favorite "kid food" (grilled cheese or pasta). However, I always make sure to pack a fruit and veggie for them to eat in the car or while they are waiting for their food to arrive. Oh and at meals I always give my kids the foods they like least first, when they are hungriest.
Geraldine says
Oh and also - it really baffles me that everything for kids is fried in the US... We lived in South Africa for a while, and there were also separate kids' menus, but they'd be grilled chicken strips and mash and carrots, or grilled shrimps and stir-fried rice... It's almost like kids are not regarded as real customers - I mean, we pay for them, right??
100 Days of Real Food says
Hmmm...very interesting about the kids menus in South Africa!
Teresa says
I was a picky eater growing up and I think my mother cursed me that my kids would be picky too. I remember not wanting to eat cheese simply because it wasn't the same color that we normally ate. I was really afraid that something wasn't going to taste the way I expected it to. I'm not sure why that is. But, since college and especially since cooking my own meals I would say that I'm not picky any more. Although I still don't like fish.
My kids are somewhat picky but in strange ways. For a while my son would only eat pasta for dinner...but he would eat it with pesto! There are so many things he doesn't like but the things he does like are not typical "kid food" - pesto, cantaloupe, brussels sprouts, mussels & clams. He won't eat meat, but we've slowly found vegetables that he likes, especially when we can pick them right out of the garden and he likes most fruit. I think my daughter has texture issues but she will at least eat meat.
I try to be as consistent as possible and we eat a lot of meals at home but at times I have catered to them to get them to eat something. Now I try to have something at the table that each of them likes that fits into our meals. I'm confident it will get better. One thing I have learned is to not ask them what they want to eat but to put food on the table and tell them that's what's for dinner. Sometimes they put up a fight and sometimes they just eat it.
Kim B. says
I just read a GREAT book called: French Kids Eat Everything: How Our Family Moved to France, Cured Picky Eating, Banned Snacking, and Discovered 10 Simple Rules for Raising Happy, Healthy Eaters. By: Karen Le Billon. I HIGHLY recommend this book as the French DO NOT offer seperate meals for their children. It REALLY inspired me to offer more of a variety of vegetables & to stop thinking some foods are too "grown-up" for my kids.
Geraldine says
Oh yeah, and I also have the the must-taste-once rule....
Jamie Rowe says
I am lucky that both my kids, almost 3 years and 11 months, are both pretty good eaters. Not sure if it is because I have offered them a wide variety since I introduced solids or if I am just lucky. I have made it a point to never cook separate meals, only altering spice level since my husband and I like it spicy. My daughter loves veggies and will eat them up. She does have a slight meat aversion but she loves Greek yogurt, all natural peanut butter, and cheese so I don't worry to much about it. At 11 months, I already give my son pretty much what we eat for dinner only eliminating choking hazards. That kid is an eating machine. The only thing he has ever spit out is coleslaw but I don't blame him. My advice for parents with picky eaters is that a kid will never let himself starve. I taught preschool for 8 years and we had a ton of kids that would eat everything at school but nothing at home because they knew that they didn't have choice at school but could whine and cry for something different at home.
Dede says
One of my favorite quotes is from Centsible Meals, by Lorae Bowden,
"Kids in third world counties don't starve to death because they don't like their beans and rice. Children are usually only as picky as their parents will allow. In fact, often a picky child has a picky parent."
I do have a picky eater, and I didn't realize I was a picky eater until I read this. I decide what we eat, so I always eat it, and like it. I find it's a different story at a pot luck. LOL!
Katelyn says
Yes. I too have found that I tend to not purchase/offer foods that I don't care to eat. I sometimes have to specifically think of foods I don't like and remember to offer them. Luckily, my husband likes many foods I don't (and vice versa) and our son is exposed that way.
Karen says
I have a friend from a third world country who would have starved to death if his mother hadn't purchased special foods for him that he was willing to eat.
Casey says
Lol! That's probably true of me! I decide on the menu, so everyone else must be the "picky" ones! Although my husband is definitely the pickier one and rarely eats vegetables! Luckily the kids haven't figured it out yet.
Geraldine says
I'm also a "mean" mom, like Emily... Eat what I give you... I don't run a restaurant... And that said, my kids eat (and try) pretty much everything. They've never had Mac and Cheese - not even homemade. My son sometimes complains about "green bits", but eats it eventually anyway! A couple of weeks ago, I was tired and uninspired and made a very simple pasta sauce and my son remarked "mommy, there are no green bits in here, did you forget about them?", haha.
And what we do in restaurants, is that we usually order a normal ("adult") dish and divide it for the 2 kids. Usually more than enough, especially here in the US (we're European).
Rebecca says
I just finished reading an excellent book that deals with this topic very well. It is called "French Kids Eat Everything" by Karen Le Billion. It is basically her story of how she moved her family to France for a year, and how the eating habits of her family changed. It was a very well written book, I would encourage you to check it out. She lays out 10 "rules" that you can use to get your kids to "eat everything" too.
100 Days of Real Food says
Adding this to my "must-read" list too...very interested in checking this one out!
Jennie says
My kid LOVES restaurant food. But is also a fairly adventurous eater. At 12, he does eat like an adult, so I'll often order him an adult entree... but they are so much more expensive. At a local restaurant, I found that ordering 2 kid's ravioli dishes yielded more ravioli than the adult portion... and was cheaper. Crazy, eh?
Tracie says
When I started intoducing my preschool aged kids to raw veggies instead of the canned cooked kind, I found that they were more likely to try it if there was just one piece of it on their plates to begin with. Over time, i would increase the portion size and now they enjoy and willingly eat a large variety of different raw veggies.
Rija says
When my son was younger and we would eat out he would get a helping of some of the grown up's plates. I still do shared orders when we're getting Chinese or Japanese. We have a must taste once rule. Then if he doesn't like it he doesn't have to eat it. I'll usually make him taste it again next time we have it though. I don't typically make anything special for him because there's usually two or three things and he can just have more of what he likes. It'll all balance out eventually nutritionwise. Having him help with the cooking makes him more receptive also, I think. Although it's funny because sometimes he'll go on and on about how yummy this looks and how delicious it's going to be then doesn't want to eat a bite of it. :)
Michelle says
re: Restaurant menus - our kids will gladly eat salad / things that are on the grown up menu. The only time they eat chicken "tenders" is at a restaurant. Usually we end up sharing our salad with them. Then again, salads are on our menu at least once a week, and they've grown up on those. I know it's not 100 % real food, but we go to Ruby Tuesday and our kids prefer to have the salad bar as the side with their kids meal instead of fries. I've found that most restaurants that have salad will gladly sub a salad (or steamed veggies) for the fries or chips.
re: Birthday parties - we are "guilty" of hosting parties where the refreshments are pizza, cake, mini water / juice boxes. It wasn't our intention to serve a complete meal, and we've actually moved toward having parties at odd times so we don't end up having to serve lunch or dinner. Pizza is one of those universal foods that most people love, and if I'm providing food for a large group of people I want to make sure it's something that a large percentage of the guests will eat. I don't feel like my childs birthday party needs to be the place where some other mom has to fight her child to eat a salad. IMO going to parties = treats. If (general) you don't want your kids to eat party food, then don't go to the party.
Nicole says
I completely agree I cannot stand the kids meal section! We rarely order off of it since my daughter would rather eat what we got. I will admit I did start off giving her those foods but I hated the lack of color on her plate so she basically eats what we eat except for the meat but I still put it on her plate anyway.
Kala M. says
I'm not sure about children but I can give you a point of view from adults. I was once a picky eater and have come a long way in the past 10 years. My husband is still a bit of a picky eater. We are both 26. I'm willing to try things, him not as much. I used to hate peas and sweet potatoes, now I love them. My husband used to refuse to eat yogurt. Now he likes it but only certain ones. His aversion to yogurt was because as a child his mother made him eat it but she always bought the stuff with the fruit on the bottom. He likes fruit just not when it is sitting in his yogurt. He also doesn't like fish and I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, but he has agreed to start trying some foods when I make them. I also agree to try stuff he likes every so often to see if I still don't like them, like celery and peppers. Yup still don't like them. LOL. Sometimes our dislike of food is linked to how it's prepared and other times it's something from the past like the yogurt with my husband. I also hated canned peaches for a really long time because I was made to eat them at daycare. If you have a certain food one don't like it, it might not be the actual food it might just be the preparation. You can't always write off a food just because you didn't like it the first time you had it. It took me a couple times before I decided I like Salmon.
100 Days of Real Food says
Kala - You are so right...food can be prepared so many different ways you definitely can't just write it off the first time you try. I am even sitting here thinking you might like celery and bell peppers if you tried it in my gumbo recipe! LOL
Kala M. says
It is possible. I know I definitely don't like them raw. And I don't like it when cooked things have too much of that red pepper taste. I like salsa and I'm pretty sure most of those have green peppers. I've also never really liked onions. But if you cook them into something like chili and I'm not crunching on them then I'm good. I've even left onions out while cooking certain dishes and found it was missing something taste-wise compared to when I have eaten it with onions.
Lue says
My youngest is 13. When he was born and for the 1st 4 years of his life we ate a vegan diet. I never made a separate meal for him. Since he was exposed to real food and not much else, he never developed a taste for much junk food. His "snack" every day in kindergarten was green peppers with no dip. To this day, he will refuse any sort of candy bar, doesn't like cake, cupcakes, frosting etc. His preference is still simple, real food.
Chrissy says
This post made me take a huge gulp...I was worried it would inadvertently accuse me of catering to my picky child rather than just offering her what we are all eating. I'll say this, dealing with my picky eater has been extremely frustrating and it's not because I cater...it's because she completely refuses anything that isn't on the very short list of things she eats. Before she was 18 months, I had my child eating salmon, quinoa, asparagus, chicken, you name it... then one day she realized she could refuse food, and fast forward two years and i have a three year old who only eats Kraft Mac and cheese, yogurt, grilled cheese and a variety of cereal sprinkled in with a handful of easy-to eat fruits. She does a lot of crackers, applesauce, and gold fish and of course loves her chicken mcnuggets (ugghh!!!)
I am so sick of people saying, just only give her real food. It doesn't work!! she just won't eat!! I don't know how she survies on the stuff she is eating, but everytime I see a clean plate I just feel thankful that she at least ate something... it's really hard, and honestly effets our dinner time every night. I just hope and pray it ends soon! Lisa- I envy your child's school lunches! LOL I hope we can get there one day :)
100 Days of Real Food says
Hang in there Chrissy! What if she has to take one bite of whatever you choose in order to get the meal she normally gets/likes?
Chrissy says
Thx for your comment Lisa! I just re-read my post and several on here.... I sounded pretty frustrated...(I was typing feverishly, it's a sore subject!! Lol) I agree with the "one bite" idea, and I should try harder with that. I think I have been lax on it of late because it has just been going on so long, even has gotten worse. Any way, I came from a household where we had lots of whole foods, no special meals for the kids, and encouraged to try everything. The thing I can't empathize w is that I have always loved to eat! Lol so I can't imagine why my own daughter isn't more adventurous! Regardless, thx for ur post today and blog, Im on here at least once a day! :-)
100 Days of Real Food says
Hang in there! :)
Chrissy says
** Looked at the menu again and it says "with water" California Dreaming's menu gave the option of soda, so that was definitely not there menu!!!
100 Days of Real Food says
The menu is from an event that was at my daughter's elementary school!
Sarah @ One Sweet Heat says
Growing up, I was extremely picky. I was just like your daughter - my mom could make a list of the things I would eat! It's taken time and dedication for learning what is healthy, but I've finally adjusted my pallet. The foods I once found delicious - spaghetti O's, hot dogs, and lots and lots of white bread - are now disgusting for me. The processed, unhealthy foods promptly put 30 lbs on my belly after I'd quit growing as a teen. In ONE summer! At the time, I just wanted to lose the weight before it got worse, but I never knew it would become such a lifestyle change. It's been a slow process learning everything and I've only recently, within the last year or so, realized the real dangers of processed foods. I'm thankful though that it's something that will stick with me forever!
On the flip side, one of my husband's friends has a little boy and girl that he has raised eating no processed foods and mostly whole, raw fruits & vegetables. When at a kid's birthday party with the kids a couple years ago, the little boy was served a slice a pizza which he promptly refused. He asked for a plate of veggies instead. How cool is that?! That story has stuck with my husband and I and we have a goal that our (future) children will think the same way (or, at the very least, ask for a much healthier, homemade and unprocessed slice of pizza!)
100 Days of Real Food says
Sarah - I've heard about kids doing that (refusing pizza and asking for veggies)...now my kids are pretty good eaters, but that is something they would never do! It amazes me when I hear stories like that.
betsy says
My picky eater would refuse pizza, but that's just because he doesn't like it. He'd pick raw broccoli (raw, Mama! Not cooked!) over it any day. But don't let that fool ya'. He still likes a pretty tight palate of food. He'll try lots of new things (because he's very literal, and we've told him that it takes 100s of tries sometimes to learn to like something), but he rarely finds something that he likes well enough to request. It takes him days (days!) to think up something for me to cook for his birthday meal.
Judi says
Honestly, there are a lot of factors that go into pickiness. When my oldest was 13 months old, she started rejecting foods. This was back in 1996. There was no literature, and I do mean NO Literature, that talked about a child this young and what to do about picky eating. It's true that most kids hit this stage right around 2. My daughter was recently diagnosed with Aspergers, mind you she is 17. So no the big red flag of excessive pickiness has some explanation. It started with ziti, then it was mac and cheese, then all meats, veggies, etc. by the time we were done, she ate all of 5 foods. All of her food rejections had to do with texture. I really didn't know what to do. 14 years later, her brother did something similar; not quite so young, but close. I've learned that you just give them what's for dinner and they will either eat it or not. there's a caviat; you don't give them a lot, so the waste is minimal. admittedly, my two younger children do not eat most of what is put in front of them, and when my 3 year old sees something that is not something she wants to try, she just says she doesn't want it. My son, however at 5 is starting to try foods again. Still a challenge to get him to eat any other veggie than corn on the cob, but we will get there. Now, understanding that my second child will eat almost anything and always has, so this made the issues with the first that much more challenging. I have learned a lot about children's eating habits and you just can't expect the same thing twice. For the more challenging ones, you just have to keep putting it in front of them and having them try things. One day one eats and the next another does. They won't starve because there is always breakfast and lunch and ultimately, they will try and like things they never expected. Unfortunately, in my house, there is a 17 year old saying ewww about things and that's when I have to have her be somewhere else during dinner time. The influence is too great. Unfortunately, the kids today have a wide range of foods that they can choose from and most will never be truly hungry. This plays an important role in pickiness. that being said, in the 30's my mother was given appetite enhancers to make her eat. Kids don't eat the same amounts as adults and we should not overwhelm them with putting too much on their plates.
Chrissy says
I have to wonder if that kids menu is from California Dreaming - We went there for dinner the other night and that was pretty much their menu with NO healthy options...no grilled chicken, no vegetables. I even asked if they could substitute and the answer was no! Luckily I had brought food with me, I was just looking to "add" to his plate. Sad that chicken tenders, hotdogs, and hamburgers is the "norm."
Cady says
Kids menus baffle me as well. Why would I choose to feed those typical kids menu items to my child? Those are foods we try to avoid or at least minimize in our house, and I agree that they're all pretty bland to begin with!
My 2.5 year old son is not a picky eater, thankfully. He will try just about anything whether familiar or brand new, and we do the same standing-in-kitchen-offering-a-bite move when we're cooking with good results at our house too. He's curious about food and its preparation(s) and likes to be part of the process.
I believe that because my husband and I are good, varied eaters my toddler sees this example and knows it's just what we do (try new foods, try bites of things, eat what we like, etc.). But what I credit most with his good attitude toward feeding himself a variety of foods is the way we started him eating solid foods in the first place. We loosely followed the "Baby-Led Weaning" school of thought (http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Led-Weaning-Essential-Introducing-Confident/dp/161519021X). We basically skipped baby food altogether in favor of offering developmentally appropriate textures and sizes of real, whole foods. His first foods were actual pieces of avocado, banana, watermelon, peach, etc. Food was never pushed on him or into his mouth for him and he was therefore always in control, allowed to place the food in his own mouth when he was ready (developmentally speaking as well as appetite-wise), and just generally able to explore and taste and eat however much of whatever foods he selected from his (or my) plate. I believe this had contributed to his willingness to try new foods - the fact that he doesn't feel forced to and he feels in control.
He continues to amaze me as his palate grows when he eats handfuls of black olives or chunks of blue cheese, or when he chooses fruit over a cookie. :)
Judi says
You are lucky to not have a picky eater. I have found that despite the fact that I was and always be the least picky eater in my family and that both my ex husband (father to the first two) and my husband now (father to the younger two) are both varied eaters, it doesn't necessarily mean that you won't have picky eaters. My daughter will come and sit next to me and watch me eat, but if I offer her any of what I am eating, she will say no. My second child is the only one of four who will eat a variety of foods. There is no rhyme or reason to any of this. I never controlled what I ate when pregnant or nursing and eat good healthy foods. I wish that were an explanation for the frustrated parents out there, but it's not. And unfortunately, this is not a new problem, just more talked about. My father was excessively picky way back during the depression. It's just that kids have more choices now in eating unhealthy foods.
Ashley says
Cady,
I'm so glad you mentioned BLW! I give so much credit for my kids' adventuresome eating to that method, which I stumbled upon quite by accident with my older daughter six years ago. In addition to giving them access to exactly the same foods and textures we were eating, the kids were in control of their food from the beginning. We all sat together to eat, and they ate right along side us rather than us spoon feeding them separately.
I think far too much emphasis is placed on the quantity of food little ones eat. My favorite mantra was "food for fun until they are one." As long as they are still nursing, or taking formula, food is just exploration until a year. It's a way of introducing this fun new world to kids. If we stress over how much they consume and start feeding them bland, "safe" foods to get them to consume more, then we set them up to expect that and to expect to get something else when they don't like what's on their plates!
Julie says
Have you read the book Bringing Up Bebe? Really interesting comparison of French parenting vs. American. Amazing what the French "expect" & offer their children to eat -- much more varied & "real" compared to us Americans! Great & enlightening read!!
100 Days of Real Food says
I have not read that yet, but would really like to...I need to order it (and add it to my growing stack of "must-reads")
Kim says
I agree, great read!!
Emily says
This has been a huge thing in my house. My husband and stepdaughter have always been very picky, although recently they have both been getting so much better. My 4-year-old and almost 2-year-old have been eating mostly real foods their whole lives and have never eaten hot dogs or Spaghetti-Os or most of the normal "kid food." It is only recently that we have been cutting out all processed foods, but before that we still cooked at home and ate lots of fruits and veggies, so they haven't seen too much of a change so far.
I'm afraid I'm a bit of a mean mom, if they don't like what is put in front of them and refuse to eat it, I let them go hungry, and quite often that food comes back as the next meal until they decide to eat it. I grew up with the idea that we needed to be grateful for the food we were given, and I am determined to pass that on. My 4-year-old used to refuse food quite often, but now loves almost everything I put in front of her, including fish and all veggies.
Liz says
I'm so glad I'm not the only one. :)
Michelle says
Love it! You are not mean, by my standards!
Abbie says
I agree Emily. I have just finished reading "Bringing up Bebe" and "French Kids Eat Everything" and while there are definitely picky and fussy eaters, to have children subsist on cereal, bread, and pasta is really our own fault as parents, not the pickiness of the child. We are letting our fear of "my child will go hungry, thus he will behave badly, thus he won't sleep" outweigh the more difficult but perhaps more wise decision of teaching them to "grow" their palate.
Sara says
SO glad to hear I'm not the only one. My (2.5 year old) son refused to try a yummy meal that I made tonight and I am so over fighting, offering other stuff, generally having mealtimes be battles...(He wanted cheese, bread, anything other than what we were having for dinner) I just told him he didn't have to eat it, but that's what dinner was tonight. Eat it or don't, but that's your option. He chose not to eat and go play instead and then decided he was HUNGRY at bedtime. Oh well, I guess he'll eat extra breakfast in the morning. :/
Meredith says
I suspect (based on the completely anecdotal evidence of my own kids) that it's a completely individual thing. My daughter is adventurous, and will usually try new things without a hitch. My son (whom I've rarely seen actually dislike a food that makes it into his mouth) refuses to try, and a lot of his meals consist of whole wheat bread or pasta and a cup of milk.
I assume 100 years ago, they would've acted the same way. Since my boy generally does find that he likes new things when he deigns to try them, I pop-psycho-analyze that it's a control thing, and I let him have that. One of these days he'll hit a growth spurt (physically and emotionally), and then he'll eat the food that's been on our table his whole life. And I bet that moment will come a lot sooner if I don't try to force it.
Tiffany says
I think as a society we have created picky kids - see your kids menu above. My kids will eat everything and we have two rules in our house - we do not make separate meals for everyone and you have to try everything twice before you say you do not like it. Too many times we assume kids don't want to eat salmon so we feed them mac n cheese without even trying to see if they will eat the salmon. I get very frustrated with I am with family who serve their kids that crap (hot dogs, mac n cheese)b/c then my girls want that even though I know they will love the dinner of mussels and fresh fish so much more. Kids will never know the amazing flavors of food out there unless you as a parent give it to them to at least try.
Rachel says
I was JUST thinking the same thing about the kid's menu. We travel a lot in the summer and after one weekend I was already SICK of the same options for my 20 month old. However I was scared to order something different given I may be 'wasting food' and he will go hungry, when he ends up not liking it. You are exactly right...I've been sucked into ordering (and making at home) the things I KNOW he will eat. But something has to be done about these 'kid menus'!!
I find that he'll spit out things that are new but then the next day, if mom and dad are eating them, he wants to try them more willingly than if I were to just give it to him. Shows the importance of the parents eating healthy and they 'should' follow...and try try again...his likings and dis-likings change WEEKLY. Back and forth.
I would love some direction on trying to get more veggies into my 20 month old's diet. He would eat every single veggie 'baby food' but now that he's eating whole food we are struggling. Green beans seem to be the only thing he will eat and that changes bi-weekly. He eats the crap out of all fruits but we are fruit heavy and I need some ideas, even if it means 'hiding' the veggies in a food. You probably have a post about this, if you can directly that would be great! Or if anyone else on here has ideas, I'd love to hear them. He is a great eater otherwise. Has never been too picky unless the texture is weird...
Thanks!
100 Days of Real Food says
Rachel - Have you seen this post yet? It might help (it was inspired by my younger daughter...all tactics we learned from working with her): https://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2011/09/09/real-food-tips-12-ways-to-deal-with-a-picky-eater/
Rachel says
Thank you!!
Chic Mummy says
I think pickiness comes with (relative) wealth. Going back to at least the early 19th century, upper class children ate "nursery food" but I'm willing to bet that the working class children had no such luxury. The same goes today - our first world nursery food is chicken nuggets and fries, but in the third world the children eat what ever they can get without the luxury of fussiness.
Michelle says
I agree with this. Kids are picky, for the most part, because we allow them the luxury of being picky. Kids "won't" eat certain things because they don't have to: they're never hungry because something else will be provided if they don't like what's being served. If they knew they had no other option other than the one being served at that meal, I wonder how many kids would stop being picky eaters?
Jennifer M. says
This is a great observation and historically true! I am a substitute teacher at a local elementary school, and I often walk through the cafeteria for "lunch duty." The more affluent students are eating Lunchables and all manner of processed foods, while the immigrant children (we live in a large vegetable farming area) have homemade rice and beans and other yummy, fresh foods.
Kids eat what is put in front of them. Somewhere along the way, doctors and parents grew frantic about childhood nutrition, so we decided to feed them whatever they are willing to eat! But in my experience, kids will eat healthy if given the choice. Sure, there will be times when they go hungry (they can be stubborn), but they eventually come around. We are so afraid today of feeling hungry, that we forget it is a natural (and normal) feeling.
Karen says
A coworker of mine grew up poor in a country that is well know for its diet of mainly vegetables and rice. He refused to eat any of the traditional food at a young age. His mother had to go out of her way to pay for much more expensive food so that her son would not starve himself. I think it is true that many kids would eat better if they were offered healthier choices on a consistent basis. However, I think some kids have a more discerning palate and risk the potential of becoming a "failure to thrive" case if they aren't given food choices that are palatable to them.
annette says
check out Dina Rose's blog about feeding children "it's not about nutrition".
Andrea says
I think as families have become more and more busy, and less of us prioritize sitting down together for meals. I honestly believe that children will eat what they see their parents eating, without prompting or pushing. We eat fresh, non-processed foods including at least 2 vegetables every evening and our children began asking for fish, salad and vegetables at a very young age, feeling left out if we tried to offer them more bland foods.
Since we rarely go to restaurants, we don't mind the usual chicken finger and french fry fare offered. I definitely agree however that we have essentially lowered our expectations for what children need to be eating for good health and nutrition.
serenity says
My first daughter ate almost everything, though at 4 1/2 she is getting pickier. ( Like suddenly refusing to eat quinoa, even though she loved it last year)Her FAVORITE food is broccoli My second is much pickier. I have a really hard time getting her to eat veggies, though I offer them at every meal. She is not quite 2 and for some reason she will eat raw a little better.
I do believe a lot of it is what kids are exposed to. But having to very different eaters makes me see that a lot of it is taste as well.
Melissa Wheeler says
I love foods and trying new things. My husband, on the other hand, is what I call picky. When our first daughter was born, I was determined to make sure that she was not picky. From the get-go, she has been offered real food. When she started eating food from the table, we offered her exactly the same thing that we were eating. She's not picky! She loves zucchini, olives, mushrooms, artichokes, and salad! Kids eat what you give them. And if they don't eat it the first time, try again and again, and again! It took 2 months of offering scrambled eggs once a week before she'd try them. Now she loves them! Keep trying!
Cathryn Bray says
Over the past month we've started to eliminate processed food. It hasn't been too hard my myself, my husband and my almost 4yr old but it's been very difficult feeding my 21month old. She seems to have texture issues, anything that looks like baby food is out of the question, meat out of the questions, most veggies out of the question. I find myself feeding her almost the same (requested) dinner every night... mac and cheese. I've been able to switch her to a mac and cheese that only has about 7 ingredients but I still feel awful feeding it to her so much. I do offer her different things with the mac and cheese but her usual response is "yuck". I think my goal with her is just to keep offering different things, she's young and stubborn, but I think she'll out grow it.
Rachel says
Funny I JUST posted similar problem below with my 20 month old...texture issues, lack of vegetables in the diet - maybe its the age? I've started my first garden, hoping that picking the veggies and the taste of them will be appealing. I, too, agree to just keep trying and hopefully they will grow out of it. But it takes effort on our part, too, to offer those offerings and sometimes I just want Mac N Cheese myself :)
Karen says
My 3 year old was a pretty good eater up until she was about a year and a half. I worked really hard at developing her palate as I think it is important for kids and adults alike to eat a variety of foods. She willingly ate fruits, veggies,and dairy, but was never a fan of meats or beans. All of a sudden, right around 18 months, she started refusing most vegetables that she had previously loved (carrots, tomatoes, zucchini, etc)and other foods she previously liked as well (spaghetti, etc.). My husband and I eat later than her during the week and I find myself giving her the same few things, quesadillas, grilled cheese, mac n cheese, cereal and fruit. I am hoping this is just a phase. I continue to offer her veggies and such in the hope that one day she snaps out of it, but it truly baffles me that she made such a complete 180 after I worked so hard to expose her to a variety of food when she was a baby.