Can someone please explain at what point in history it was decided that children’s menus would only offer the following?
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- Hamburger/Cheeseburger with French Fries (or Chips)
- Hot Dog/Corn Dog with French Fries (or Chips)
- Chicken Fingers with French Fries (or Chips)
- Macaroni and Cheese
- Cheese Pizza
- Plain Pasta
Sure my kids would gladly devour any of these choices, but I often wonder when it was decided that kids need a special, separate meal in the first place? Since when can’t they just eat what the adults are eating? Has it always been this way? Surely not.
It amazes me when we go to birthday parties and the food served to kids consists of pizza and cake. How is that possibly being passed off as a “complete meal” for our next generation? Where are the fruit and vegetables? When was it decided that kids would only eat a handful of simple (and somewhat bland) foods? I understand that pizza is usually a crowd pleaser, but how and when did things get to be so limited?
How did children end up with such a limited palate?
I too used to be guilty of thinking kids had a very limited palate. Not long after embarking upon our “100 Days of Real Food” pledge it dawned on me that I had never before offered my daughters a salad because…they are kids after all! That is honestly the only reason (other than the fact that we didn’t eat salad all the much in the old days), but I just assumed they wouldn’t be interested because “kids don’t like salads”…right? Well you should have seen how shocked I was when I finally offered my children a salad and saw my older daughter actually eating it. And liking it! It took much longer for my younger daughter to come around, but after lots of repeated exposure she eventually became open to the idea of salad (and more importantly began to expect it as a norm at our family dinners). That was definitely a lesson learned for me.
One thing I’ve noticed is that many kids these days will only eat foods if they look a certain way (i.e. familiar). If there is a variation from the norm then the whole meal could be a flop. Why is that? I’ll never forget this one instance (long before our real food days) when my parents were babysitting my 3-year-old niece. They knew she liked and would eat Kraft Macaroni & Cheese so that was the plan for her dinner. But what they didn’t know was since they bought Kraft “Shells” Macaroni & Cheese instead of the traditional variety that all hell would break loose. Has anyone had a similar experience?
Do your kids willingly try new foods?
It’s no secret that food is a big part of my life and one of the things I am interested in is other people’s food choices. I am curious what choices they make and why. One thing I’ve noticed is that when I am preparing food in the kitchen and I offer my children a bite of something, they almost always take me up on it. Usually it’s something I know they love like a piece of parmesan cheese, a bite of pesto, or a roasted cashew, but I admit I occasionally take advantage of the situation and slip a piece of olive in their mouths just to be sure they still don’t like it. They’ll make a face and spit it out, but thankfully it doesn’t stop them from coming back. :)
I’ve also noticed when I offer other kids a little bite of something as well they are almost always very much against the idea of taking the sample (usually before they even know what it is). Maybe it’s because I am not their mom and they’re scared what that “Organic Miss Lisa” might try to make them eat, but their response is dramatically different than what I am used to with my own children. I bring this up because I am curious about other’s experiences when you offer your own children new foods or bites of what you might be eating. Do they act like it is straight-up poison?
Can a picky eater really be converted?
Our younger daughter used to be extremely picky so I totally get it. It was much easier and much less time consuming (and also much less likely that food would be wasted) if I only offered her what I knew she would eat. I recently came across a document I’d typed up - for the same babysitting grandparents mentioned above - that was a complete list of all the foods my younger daughter would eat (she was 3 at the time). Let me tell you that it was a very short list with a mere 31 items on it including Spaghettio’s, Goldfish, Graham Crackers, only 1 dish containing meat (spaghetti sauce), 5 types of fruit, and only 1 vegetable (frozen peas).
Looking back I am amazed at how far this child has come. She was one of those that would spit out her baby food before she knew it was fun to annoy mommy by not liking anything. Her palate was dramatically different than our older daughter’s from day one. But after two years (since taking our pledge) of repeatedly offering her a variety of different foods she thankfully now has a broader palate than most adults. I will be the first to tell you it has not been easy, and many months passed before any of our efforts started to pay off. But since this is one of my only first-hand examples of watching a child’s eating habits change over time, I wonder if I can really attribute the change in her to something we’ve done or if she would have grown out of that picky phase on her own regardless?
What’s your opinion?
So I’d love to open this up for discussion….what is everyone else’s experience/input on children’s eating habits these days? Why are so many kids so incredibly picky and is it possible to change their preferences? I wonder what it was like a hundred years ago (or even now in other countries)…have kids always been catered to with a limited variety of special, separate meals?? Do we only give kids pizza and hot dogs because that’s all they’ll eat or do they only eat pizza and hot dogs because that’s all we give them? How can we break this cycle?
Shawna says
This so true. My kids love fruits and vegs. I buy what I like to. I don't like raspberries but decided to pick them to see they would like them. Guess what they both loved them! I now realize that just because I don't like something doesn't mean they won't like it!
Gretta says
My daughter is extremely pick. The foods listed above in this post she will gobble up, but trying new thing is a horror for her. She hates new things, wants to eat only plain things, etc. She loves bread and has helped me make the whole-grain biscuits and zucchini bread recipes I found on this blog. Which she enjoys, so I will count that as a win. This year getting her to eat peanut butter was a success, she was so opposed to new things or things mom eats. I will continue to offer only what we are eating, but make sure it includes enough healthy options for her to have a choice.
I remember myself at that age, and I was the same way. I ate bread and pasta. So, I know this will not last forever and she is just a kid, but I do worry a lot about the nutritional aspect of her diet and fight to get real food into it!
Amy says
I like to cook and since it was usually just my daughter and I,I always fed her what I was eating. She is not a picky eater and never was. I did follow a lot of the rules in the French kids book but that was before it was published. She has a very diverse palate and likes to eat healthy foods. (She's 18) I hope that all of the work I put in teaching her healthy habits and to enjoy real food will pay off. Her dad's family has a real problem with being overweight. This is not to say that she never eats processed foods or junk, but she does so knowing that she will feel better if she doesn't. Don't give up hope moms!
Kristen says
First if all, I just found this blog and I love you. I love the journey you have taken. I love your family's courage. And I love that you are honest and open and that this change has been wonderful.
So about picky eaters, I truly believe that kids who's tastes have not been spoiled by bland sugary processed foods eat more well rounded in general. But that can also be corrected, as you have proved. I also believe however that not making a big deal of things at meals makes a huge difference. I require a vegetable to be part of dinner. They'd (5 year old & 2 yr old) be surprised if a meal came without one. They must try it. It's ok if they don't like it. And they do not have to eat once they are full as long as they have a taste of everything. (There is no food later tho if you are full you are full. Period) I usually put out new "scary" foods as if I am feeding a tiger- fast and with no eye contact or comment. (I've served many a friend's child this way and mom is surprised their kid ate that) last thing is go light on snacks. A clementine, half an apple will suffice. I know if my kids eat a whole banana or crackers they will not eat as well at dinner.
So my secret, not secret, is 1) "treats" are just that. No processed food in the house. They can have junk food at parties and holidays (and grandmas)
2) don't make a big deal. Look away. Steer conversation to what they did at school or what was their favorite part of the day
3) snack should have nutritional value.
Thanks for the great great blog keep it up!!!
Laura says
We have been giving our 14 month old whatever we eat each night. Tonight he had flounder and asparagus. Last night, he ate turnips and he loved them. When we told my parents that he loved turnips, they said "gross". Our goal is to give him as many whole foods and homemade food we can. "Kid food" is an invention of American culture, we don't believe in "kid food" in our house.
Lisa says
This is an extremely old post, so I doubt my comment will ever be noticed by anyone, but I just had to give my 2 cents since my life experience is perhaps different than most. I married a man with an 11 year old son & a 13 year old daughter. They were the pickiest eaters I'd ever seen! He took them to a pediatrician when they were young & expressed his concerns & that doctor told him to feed the kids whatever they would eat and that trying to force them to eat something else would only give them negative associations with food, making the problem worse and lifelong. So that's what he did - offering, but never requiring they even try something new. And they existed for decades on nothing but peanut butter and frozen pizza.
Fast forward a couple of years and we had a daughter together. She again was extremely picky. I consulted her pediatrician, a dietician, her gastroenteroligist was involved, we tried feeding therapy - I NEVER gave up. She is still a picky eater, but eats at least twice as many foods as she once did, including several vegetables. She saw me cooking the other day and shouted "I love broccolli!" I won. It's that simple. It will probably be somewhat of a battle for us her whole childhood, but she will not be a 27 year old married mother of 2 who still can't stand the thought of onions in anything, or any vegetable besides peas, like her half sister.
Don't give up!!
liz says
I fed my baby nothing but "real food". She is 2.5 and such a picky eater, I am just beside myself with what to do. She eats any fruit, dried fruit, but no meat (which is fine with me), and a limited ammount of veggi's. I recently started juicing veggi's for her (which she likes) just needing advice to get her to eat dinner.
My 7 month old eats everything from black beans to tomato's.. maybe she will rub off on the toddler!
Jennifer Gillespie says
Oh my goodness. That is the exact list of what my daughter will eat. Very limited. So there is hope?
Amy @Foodie4Healing says
Hello! I am against giving my kids processed foods, so we make almost everything from scratch. My kids are really really picky. I've never made they a separate meal; they've always eaten what we eat. However, my 16 month old has started screaming, throwing her food and crying making mealtime extremely stressful and unpleasant for everyone. She refuses to eat most things and then goes to bed hungry. Then, she frequently waking in the night because she's hungry. How do we stop this insane cycle?!
Assistant to 100 Days (Jill) says
Hi Amy. Sorry to hear the issues you are having with your little one. Have you seen our most recent post on this topic...https://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2012/12/07/picky-eater-vs-problem-feeder/? You may also want to check out a few additional ones we have done as well that may be helpful...https://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2011/09/09/real-food-tips-12-ways-to-deal-with-a-picky-eater/ and https://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2010/08/19/winning-over-your-picky-eater/. Best of luck. Jill
Shannon says
We have a unique picky eater. For her she has difficulty trying new things. Vegetables are almost at a total loss but I can convince her if it's mixed in with egg or cheese. As an example she's excited about making shakes with spinach and banana and berries. We make plain steel cut oatmeal and add hemp hearts banana and raisins. From a young age she would devour the veggie flatbreads from Jugo Juice onions and all. Now give her a single vegetable on its own and we're down to raw carrots, occasionally. It took forty five minutes to get her to try mango but was really excited to immediately try smoked salmon?!?! She's two and a half now so fingers crossed she'll find her way but persistence is key. She would live on cheese and yogurt if we let her but I'm too stubborn to allow her to fill up on one or two types of food all day. Processed foods truly is the downfall of western civilizations. Good luck moms!
Jess says
I never went through this period as a child. I loved all my vegetable so much that I thought something was wrong with me! I remember finding it odd that some kids would only eat a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch and dinner. Not even put lettuce or tomato on it! I don't know why I was this way at all. It might have been my parents. My dad cooked and he always ate what he cooked. Another idea I think is to actually cook vegetables well. Some kids hate certain foods because no one dresses them up, cooks them a certain way, or uses delicious spices. I think that could help a lot. I also understand that it can be expensive, but freshness makes a big difference.
Oh well, that's all I have to say. :D
Billie says
Whats worked for my three children is to not offer the alternative to healthy meals i prepare. I find that each of my kids went through a phase (starting very early, around 15 mo) where they started to refuse veg. I dont offer my toddlers crackers or anything processed besides an occasional plain ricecake, so for us ive realized they learn that fruit is tastier than veg, so they refuse veg in hopes i will offer fruit or more meat. So I always offer the veg first to my 16 mo old. She will chow it down if she is hungry but as soon as i bring out something she likes better, she refuses to touch it. I also dont offer fruit at meal times anymore. Another thing ive done with all three (my older two, age 5 and 3 are awesome little eaters now) is if they are refusing what i prepared i simply put them down from the table and let them play, then try to put them back up in 15 min. I do this at very young age. It usually takes one or two attempts and they will eventually chow down everything they refused a half hour ago...maybe because they are hungrier and maybe because they realize this is the only option. Im going through all of this a third time now with my 16 mo old. It's so hard to not just give in, but ive seen first hand it is worth it to stand my ground. Oh and i have a rule in my house that we arent allowed to say "i dont like this". Instead i encourage them to say "i will try it". Didnt need this rule til i started watching other's kids who repeatedly said "i dont like it" and suddendly my then 2 yr old started saying it for the first time. I had to stop it, and it works. I also agree that the less junk we expose them to at young ages, the easier. Eventually you cant keep them in a bubble, but i believe under age two it's ok to have them never be given the junk. Try to just shape their palets at that young age and then once older, even though still may get super excited about "kid food" they will still love many hlthy foods too.
Jessica Rooks says
This is a hot topic in my house right now. I have a 16 month old daughter who I have always prided on being a super great eater...until recently. Before I encountered this picky eater phase I had a multitude of judgements as to why kids became picky. So naturally I did everything I thought of in my power to prevent a picky eater. I breastfed her and ate a wide range of foods, then when she started to eat purees she only ate what I steamed and pureed and ate it very well. When she started eating solid food I only gave her what we were eating (as long as it had already been introduced to her). She was a perfect eater. Then one day almost without warning it all changed. She now won't touch meat or vegetables. She still eats only real food including cheese, fruit, milk, yogurt, eggs, and breads/crackers (with minimal ingredients) or homemade baked goods and rarely eats sugar. So I have no idea why she won't even taste meat/veggies anymore.
So this is what I have been doing: Every morning she eats one scrambled egg with fruit and possible whole grain toast or waffle. Then at lunch she eats something that I know she likes (sun butter sandwich, homemade whole wheat macaronni and cheese, hummus, beans, etc) with more fruit and maybe cheese. Throughout the day she will snack on a fruit smoothie that I LOAD with spinach, kale, sweet peas, and cucumber. ANYTHING I can do to sneak these veg in. Then for dinner she is only offered what I made for the family. I don't offer her any fruit unless she eats something else, I figure she has had enough fruit for a day anyway. Not going to lie, there are a lot of days she only drinks milk for dinner. I refuse to make her a second meal and she doesn't seem phased by it at all. I am praying that this is just a stage and that by staying strong by offering her only what the family is eating that she will eventually eat meat and veggies again.
Long comment, I know, but I feel like the details are important.
Stephanie says
Maybe it's just me and I'm not trying to be rude but that sounds like a lot of food. Maybe try to reduce the size of her earlier meals just a bit and see if it helps dinner. She may have eaten enough by then and not be hungry just because if how much she's eating?
Jennifer says
Oh how I wish I weren't so well versed in this topic! My 3yr old daughter is a VERY picky eater. We are a whole food/real food household. I make all the meals in our house and offer nothing but nutritious options for both meals and snacks. I've been eating this way since I was 15 and have raised my daughter this way from the start. At dinner I prepare and serve ONE meal--no opting out for something else. Now, I wish I could say that this has resulted in a child with a diverse palate, but the reality is far different: my daughter DOES eat a wide variety of fruits and grains, but will NOT eat a single vegetable by choice. And she seems to be getting progressively more particular. She's ALWAYS picked apart her food, taking care to remove anything remotely suspicious looking from her plate, but she's recently taken to carefully wiping tomato sauce off individual strands of pasta. Seriously, it's maddening. But since I won't serve her plain pasta, she takes care of the problem herself. My daughter chooses most nights NOT to eat what's being served or to eat ONLY the accepted food item(s) included in the dinner--I always serve at least one thing I can be reasonably sure she'll actually eat. So, tonight she ate corn. Yep, just corn. NO salmon, salad, or asparagus. And though we try to enforce a "one bite" rule, she rarely so much as touches the foods to the tip of her tongue. There is nothing concerning her behavior that hints of sensory issues--she has several friends with disorders, so I have a comparison. And she has never been fed a diet of mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, or most other picky eater staples. In fact, she doesn't like cheese and so WON'T eat mac and cheese or pizza. Go figure. We try to praise her even for just licking foods, but we don't seem to be making much progress. There isn't a day that goes by without a tantrum thrown over what she is--or isn't--being served to eat. I wish I knew what was driving her picky eating and I'm hopeful that she can be "converted," but it surely won't be a quick nor easy process, that's for sure.
Marie says
I have the same problem with my daughter. I thought I had started her off well as a baby and fed her Earth's Best since it was organic when I did feed her baby food, but mostly I made her foods and she ate what we did. I remember her being around 15 months and so proud at a restraunt when she ate grilled chicken with steam zucchini and yellow squash. Then one night I made home made pizza, she hated it and it went down hill from there:( Now she eats hardly anything. Apples, applesauce, yogurt, raw broccoli, sometimes raw carrots, cheese, oranges, pumpkin bread/muffins, pancakes, and still doesn't like pizza but will only eat the pizza crust! And drinks only water. I keep waiting for this to pass but fear it may never. She is now 5....
Michelle Williams says
My son is the same what to do what to do??? It is madenening trying to get him to eat adult foods...simply maddening. So I usually allow him toeat what he wants...ughhh
Emily says
I have heard at that young age kids may have a limited palate phase anyway. I wouldn't worry that she will NEVER grow out of it. It is probably just a phase (even if it lasts awhile). From what I've read it is normal for them to fixate on maybe a handful of things they are interested in eating, or even go on "strikes" and refuse food, etc. I think she will come back around. Just keep offering, it's all you can do. Sometimes I need to remind myself its OK if my son doesn't "like" everything... because I certainly don't. That list of foods you gave for your daughter sound OK to me (veggies, home made breads & muffins, cheese.) Those are real foods! And it's great that she is drinking water instead of juice or soda!
Stephanie says
I've started giving them the foods I know they'll refuse first and make them try it, then give them the main item I know they like. My kids always filled up on pasta and never ate the salad. I started giving the salad first and they ate the entire thing. Then, give them the pasta. It works out much better. No fighting to get them to try things and they actually eat.
Janine (Alternative Housewife) says
We were at a birthday party recently and there were five pizzas. My son was the only one eating the one with veggies and chicken - All of the other kids just ate cheese. My son is two, so I made the decision for him, but he was happy to eat the more nutritious and flavorful option. I think that the gravitation toward more bland food is definitely learned.
I think that the "picky eater" being biological is bullshit if they will only eat mac n cheese, etc. Don't introduce them to those foods and what, they'll starve? I have to admit, picky kids and adults both push my buttons!
Given, my son is not very picky. We did "baby-led weaning" which I think played a big part. I find that so long as I give him the item he is least likely to eat first, he'll eat a bit of everything. If his favorite food is on the plate, he tends to fill up on that first (Can you blame him?) so I often serve meals in small courses so that he gives other foods a fair go.
Elizabeth says
For 13 years, I had one child, who ate everything, including the healthy things I offered him and the junk he got elsewhere. Even though his weight problem began at age 8, I was proud to be raising a child who was open-minded about food. I figured I had done something right and when he wanted to lose weight, he could enjoy healthy food choices. Then we had our second child. We cave in and give her mac & cheese, etc., because really her 3 year old diet only consists of a couple dozens things, regardless of what we do. Now, I'm pretty much convinced that a lot (obviously not all) of these born-picky types just don't really like food and will probably never struggle much with weight.
Amy says
This is a really hot topic for me right now. I'm just beginning the process of removing the processed foods from my house. Both my husband and kids are finding themselves much hungrier because they don't like the options in the house (I simply won't buy that garbage anymore). They will try things, but then throw fits and make me feel guilty saying, "you want your kid to go hungry? How can you make your child eat something they don't like?" It kills me! My husband has eaten all the meals I've prepared, but won't touch the snacks. Our fridge is full of fruits and veggies because no one will eat them. My husband has stopped taking a lunch because he'd rather buy lunch at work. UGH!
How long does it usually take for them to come around? It kills me that even my husband won't eat these things for two reasons - 1. He knows how incredibly important setting an example for the kids is and 2. He knows how incredibly picky I was as a child and I'm making a change. He and I were both raised on total junk food. His upbringing was much worse as far as food (and don't even get me started on his mom's take on all this), so I can't say I don't know how he became this way. I don't even want to go out to eat anymore because I know they will all make horrid decisions.
I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle that's 3 against 1. Any suggestions for transforming my family into healthy eaters? I have thrown away so much food these last couple of weeks and it's just depressing.
Assistant to 100 Days (Jill) says
Hi Amy. You may want to take a look at this post https://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2011/07/07/convincing-a-reluctant-spouse-to-eat-real-food/. Good luck. Jill
Missy says
I have recently found this blog and have to say I'm really enjoying it. I really like this discussion about kids menus. It's always the same few things, we usually ask for veggies raw instead of cooked and the restaurants are always accommodating. Even when we offer our kid fires, she wants veggies. I have a 5 year old daughter, who in the last few years has become a great eater. I don't remember the last time we bought a package of hotdogs to have at the ready incase she didn't like dinner that night. A rule in our house is that you have to try something new 2 times on two different occasions before you can say you don't like it. This goes for the adults in the house too. I thought we were restricted to the so called "kid foods" because all kids ate it, but after having my daughter try many different things I find she loves so many things, like salad and lobster. I have friends who kids barley eat veggies but mine will eat so many different veggies and fruit and often asks for them. I remember telling a friend about what my kid eats and she asked me "How did you do that?" I said I offered it to her and never looked back.
http://www.tanastable.com/ says
I think you would enjoy pages 198-199 in the book Bringing up Bebe where the mom brings her children to the US and is frustrated by 'kid's menus' and limited palates in children here in the US. It makes me laugh because I have felt this way forever! My parents raised us to eat what was fixed. No questions and no complaints. If you didn't like it, then you didn't eat. My daughter gets the same treatment and she is 2 1/2 and eats salads, raw zucchini and broccoli on a regular basis without complaint. It's possible if there is no other option. I would choose to eat ice cream for every meal, too, if I didn't know better. Kids don't know better and I believe it's our job as parents to teach them.
MJ says
Amen! I did a post on my blog a couple years ago about this very same thing! People would ask me for "kid-friendly" menu plans and I was agog at what they meant! At 9 months old my daughter was eating vegetable stir fry with onions, garlic, broccoli, and a ton of other veggies. She loves wheatberries in her salad, quinoa, and couscous. She literally will eat everything but olives, salmon, and mushrooms and her friends are all soooo picky it drives me nuts!
Jen says
I have a picky one. She also has Celiac disease (PS don't get me started on kid's menus). Here are some of her more obnoxious picky things. She refuses oatmeal... period. She hates hates hates cooked apples, carrots or... well actually the number of veggies/fruits she WILL eat cooked is smaller: beans, corn (technically a grain), peas...asparagus. That's about it for cooked. BUT you see, she WILL eat all of the above raw. Kids palates are dependent on what they are exposed to for the most part. I get so frustrated when my new daycare kids are nearly offended when I tell them what is for lunch. "Miss Jen I don't like that" is more than common. To date not a SINGLE child has remained so picky after being here a few weeks. I overheard the worst ask her mom for asparagus for dinner the other day. You should have SEEN her mom's face! :)
Sarah @ The Cyclist's Wife says
Oh my goodness! Kids menu's are offensive I think. We have been feeding our kid what we eat, basically since he could eat. Pasta with tomato sauce and sauteed zucchini, seasoning and all, got put in the food processor before he could chew.
We purposely stay away from "kid" food, which I find to mostly be processed and freaky, like those dinosaur shaped chicken things. What the what?! We both nearly had a heart attack when my mother in law asked us why we didn't have any food for our kid "like hot dogs". Seriously?
I think it's unfortunate in our society that people treat kids like well, kids, instead of what they are - little human beings. Just because they are small doesn't mean they will automatically hate vegetables, spices or exotic tastes. I think we should stop feeding our kids like "kids" the way society has defined it and instead feed them like humans. Encourage them to try everything from the beginning and I'd be willing to bet they won't be too picky.
I'm not an expert obviously. But we do have a 3 year old that loves fruits and vegetables and eats pretty much anything. He's just not a fan of onions. And I'm proud to say he's never had fast food.
P.S. Don't even get me started on birthday cake and pizza!
Jennifer B says
My oldest is not a picky eater but my other is. It started as soon as she had solids. She refused pureed foods and went straight to chunkier foods. It was weird. It only got weirder for us as she got pickier. We found out hers was from a severe speech delay. She only ate certain foods because she knew she could manipulate them in her mouth. Her tongue lacked the fine motor skills to even lick the corners of her lips at 2.5 years. Once we started speech therapy she has slowly become a less picky eater. So, while I subscribe to the "one meal" approach, we had to make concessions for her because she truly would not eat if there was nothing available that she knew she could chew up. We always would make sure at least one thing was something she liked. We still do. We also know she doesn't like mixed foods (even pb&j!) I'm okay with that though and I'm told by her therapist that it's common with children having her speech issues. Interestingly, her father also had delayed speech and he is a picky eater too... of almost the same exact foods! I still offer a wide array of foods because my oldest and I like them. We've won my younger one over on many things. My kids also prefer fresh, raw veggies over cooked ones. Oh and for my picky child, if I know she likes everything on her plate and she won't eat it, she doesn't get a special snack later. She gets to eat what's left on her plate. My kids don't like that rule but it's a necessary one.
christy says
just read the book "french kids eat everything" by Karen Le Rillon. Really good read, but one thing that hit home is how much snacking we do in this country. If we have a snack soon before a meal they may not be hungry enough to try somehting new. And if they know it's only an hour until they can get a (probably highly processed) snack they can make themselves wait. I've realized kids need to be reasonably hungry to be willing to try.
michelle says
I had the best pediatrician when my oldest was a baby. He basically told me if I didn't want a picky eater to make as much of the baby food myself as I could. That way you're introducing your family's style of cooking and diet from the get go. As he got bigger and I was able to introduce more - I was basically just mushing up whatever we were having for dinner that night. I used this method for all three of them, and I have no picky eaters.
No from trial and error, I've learned that if I'm introducing something totally new, if I have the kid help me in the preparation of whatever it is it seems to go over well. They are even excited to try it! Aaah, but the don't always like it :)
Juliana says
As for 2&3-year-olds -- I've also read that kids are supposed to be picky at this age (for caveman reasons). When guests dine at our house, they think my 3yo isn't picky because she eats everything we do. However, if even my mom tries to fix her something she knows C would eat at home, C is suspicious. I once ordered a side of black beans at a restaurant for her, because I thought it would be familiar, and she wouldn't touch them even though they looked very much like what I'd recently made at home. So for little ones, I have given up on a degree of pickyness -- she is going to prefer what she's used to, and what she is used to is mama's cooking. If she eats (over the course of a week or two) a wide variety of healthy foods, I am happy. And she's more brave about other-people's-cooking than she was a year ago, so we're making progress. It will be a whole new ballgame and battle, I am sure, when she starts school and is introduced to the less-healthy foods we avoid. But I turned out okay (preferring healthy foods over sweet ones my friends sometimes brought), so I think it will be fine.
Juliana says
I haven't seen a comment on this so far, but I didn't read though the older ones, so sorry if this is a repeat --
From what I've read over the last few years, what mama eats both when pregnant and when breastfeeding can have a big effect, as well. Babies taste moms food in utero (after a certain age that I don't recall), and breast milk carries flavors as well, so if mom eats a wide variety of healthy foods, it will be easier for that child to become accustomed to eating those foods once they are eating on their own. It takes something like 10-20 experiences to become accustomed to new tastes, but they'll have a head start. For those who can manage it, I think making your own baby food helps too, because it is easier to incorporate a wide variety of foods and flavors (and to mix a little bit of a new flavor in a base of a familiar flavor until the new flavor can be tolerated alone).
Libby says
What a great subject. 2.5 years again my daughter, who is now 10, survived on bread (in many types), and a few fruits. even a cheese sandwich was too much for her to eat. If she went a friends I said just feed her bread and water and she'd be happy - I was NOT joking. Since we had a 6 week trip to UK planned we knew we had to change things as she wouldn't always have access to what she wanted. Her diet is still a work on progress. In the last few months she's moved onto cheese pizza!!! Crazy that we're happy but it's a step up from garlic bread :-). She now eats a lot more veggies, cheese (in different forms) and is getting better at combining foods (which was also a no-go). It's something that you definitely need to keep working on. And I honestly think if we hadn't started making her try things (usually a bit or two) that she'd still be on bread and water.
Shereen says
My almost 3-year-old is a pretty good eater, and I credit it to following a lot of the same strategies mentioned in the comments already: avoiding processed foods, making only one meal, requiring him to taste new foods, trying to make meals a balance of something I know he will like plus something new. When he was first starting solid foods, I read the book "My Two-Year-Old Eats Octopus," which I found really helpful. The book taught me a lot of these strategies, as well as emphasizing that parents shouldn't try to "force" kids to eat. Along those lines, some of the tricks we've found helpful are little comments about the food that make my son start to eat. For instance, if he's not touching a particular item, say, cauliflower, I might say, "Yum, this cauliflower is good!" or "Look, Daddy ate all his cauliflower!" Doesn't always work, but often does.
I also have started using strategies from the book "French Kids Eat Everything," which are really great as well. We have cut down tremendously on our snacking as a family and as a result, my son eats much better at meal time because he is hungrier. I also use some of the phrases suggested when he doesn't like a food, like saying "you just haven't tasted it enough times" or "you'll like it when you're older." He has now declared that when he's 3, he will like onions!
Jennifer says
I have found with both my kids that they started out eating a wide variety of foods, then went through a picky period for a few years, then (at least my 12-yr-old son) grew out of that and eats a lot more foods again. My 8-yr-old has been in the picky phase for the last year or two. She used to eat mostly fruit and veg, not much meat. Now I have trouble finding anything at all she'll eat except for the standard "kids' meals". I don't make anything special for them at home; they eat what I make or go hungry. But they do get to choose their own meal in a restaurant. And we eat out frequently at a wide variety of restaurants (Indian/Pakistani, Thai, Italian, Mexican, Greek, Korean, German/Austrian, British, Chinese, etc). This has exposed them to a lot of different foods AND they've learned how to behave in a restaurant since they've always gone with us.
Laura says
My 5 year old will try a bite or two of anything, and he's always been a pretty good eater. But my 2 1/2 year old is SO frustratingly picky. He pretty much lives on yogurt, berries, and anything with peanut butter. Hmmm...maybe I should try dipping veggies in peanut butter? :D
Nilla says
Jennifer, the same thing is happening when my daughter plays with her friends outside. The other children are always bringing junk foods outside and offering them to her. If they are not offering, she is asking. She is 6 years old and she knows that we do not eat foods from a "package" but of course she does not follow that advice since she is 6. We talk about it at home, why we eat the way we do; it is good for our bodies, it makes us feel good, and helps us grow well, etc. I ask that she comes home and ask me before eating anything that others offer. It works sometimes. The other day she came home and said that one friend had brought out cookies for everyone (store bought) and could she have some too. I said no becaouse you just had lunch and it is not a special occasion. She got upset and started crying. I felt like a bad mother, but I did not change my mind. After talking to her about it, she stopped being sad and she just asked if she could have a smoothie popsicle instead. I was happy that she came up with that idea. I realized then that she just wanted a treat too!
Eileen says
Out to dinner last night with my son (11) and nephews (9 and 5) my sister and I discussed a similar topic. At what point did these kids meals need to be so undiversified and so highly processed. Nobody needs a side of fries with an individual cheese pizza or macaroni and cheese. If a side is offered with what are large servings for children, can we not at least offer another food group?
susan says
i know i'm a little late in chiming in but...
1. thanks for the thoughts on TEXTURE being the issue. i have an uber-picky son and after reading your post i realized that texture was a major source of pickiness for him. i think he could live on apple sauce, yogurt, mac-n-cheese, pbj, and grilled chicken if i let him.
2. it's not realistic to lump all kids menus into one bucket. the ones that irk me are the ones where the kids food is clearly not the same as the adults... like those blasted smiley face "fries" that are like fried mashed potatoes. some restaurants serve a scaled down version of adult entrees (with or without modifications for childhood tastebuds). figure out which type of menu you are dealing with.
3. many restaurants have other options available for kids that aren't on the menu. a child's serving of grilled chicken or fish with simple sides is normally something they can accommodate. don't be afraid to ask a server to help create something based on stuff you see elsewhere on the menu. (yes, i know this is a pain for the kitchen and server, tip accordingly!) doing this consistently has actually changed the kids menu at a local eatery.
4. speaking as a former picky eater: in some cases the pickiness has nothing to do with food. it's a strong-willed child thing. once i realized that no one could MAKE me swallow, it became the perfect battleground as a kid. it was a control issue, not a food issue. once i began to own my own food choices (college) i stopped being picky.
Becky says
When I was little (as young as I can remember is probably early grade school), I loved fruits and veggies, even stuff like cooked cabbage (weird, huh?), carrots, broccoli and cauliflower raw w/ ranch, tomatoes, etc. I don't know exactly what my parents' philosphy was for feeding their kids (I was the baby at the tail end of 7 kids), other than I think my mom always tried to have a balanced meal (grains/protein/veggies/dairy) and I don't think she would have ever made a separate meal. We definitely didn't have a "no processed" diet, but like I said I know she always made it a point to have fruits and veggies, so evidently whatever they did worked well because as far as I can remember I've always loved them :)
Leanne says
I don't have kids, but as for myself, I don't remember being catered to as a picky eater. I do remember being somewhat picky (I hated chunky pasta sauce, didn't like spinach lasagne, etc), but I am amazed that now at 22 years old, I LOVE the exact things I used to hate. Although you want to feed your kids healthy foods, take heart knowing that the most likely WILL grow out of it eventually- just might not be while they're under your care! Just a thought.
liz m says
1) i read recently that Children at age 3 become picky as a form of safety measure to keep them from trying strange berries and other things that were possibility dangerous.
2) I did Girl Guides for years and we have had the same menu as when I was little girl. My friend refers to this as "Kid Food". It is probably widely used because leaders know most of the kids will eat it and you will not get kids refusing to eat which happened when a friend of mine decided to broaden a group's palate by adding butter chicken.
We did do other nights that they were prepared to have food that would be foreign to them. My guide group did curry chicken- some of the girls were concern if it was safe to eat while they were making it but all of them tried it and a few in fact asked for the recipe for. Another friend took her girls out for dim sum and ask that they just try a little of it to decide if they would like it. She told them later what everything was with the reminder that remember that when you tried it you liked it. Most girl we found when not surrounded by their mom or dad- would eat stuff they normally would not touch at home and enjoy it. My mom while working with 6 - 8 years old found something the blocks to getting girls to try new things were other leaders who decided that they need to take the girls to a specific Chinese resturant because" there were french fries and some of the some of the girls would only eat that!" - and of course the girl tried nothing out of their comfort zone because there was french fries and Chinese food that was familiar to them. My mom did pizzas with them and one of the leaders' daughter didn't like pizza but at brownies was happily eating it until her mom reminded her that she didn't like pizza and she stopped eating it.
My friend has a theory that kids will eat better if they are involved in process of menu planning, cooking- it tends to be true. When we let them plan menus they will pick one menu that might be different and if they make it, they tend to like it.
I have noticed some restaurants with healthy eating in mind are starting to begin to off more choices then burgers, fries, grilled cheese and pizza especially in resturants that have a bit of theme to them.
A Table in the Sun says
I think that children became picky during my generation. Since my parents and grandparents did not have many choices of processed foods, they learned to eat REAL food. Then came the horrible over processed generation of food. Mommies started working outside the home, and time became the number one factor in making food choices. I broke the mold with my own children. Even though I worked full time, I always provided fresh real food. I am now rewarded with children and grandchildren who love picking dinner from the garden.
Amy says
That is awesome!
Jennifer says
I just always think it's funny how when we are invited to picnics we bring healthy options like fresh fruit salad or veggie salad so we have something we know we can eat. but by the end of the night it's always gone. It just proves to me that most people will eat what is available and enjoy healthy food they just don't want to put in the effort to really make a solid change.
Katie | Healthnut Foodie says
If this was a Facebook comment, I would totally like it :)
Kim H says
My son became very picky at 2. We let it slide then because you need to pick your battles. Realizing that it was a perfectly normal need for some autonomy, we decided to give him some control of his dinners by giving him a small portion of everything we were eating and a larger portion of what he would eat. When he had finished everything on his plate, he could eat as much of anything he wanted. (which at the time was ice cream sandwiches) He was allowed to eat the whole box but usually was too full to eat even one. Today at 11 he eats everything. I do allow him to have 2 veto ingredients. (that was added when the food he ate was only what we were eating) Those ingredients I either won't cook with or he can eat around them. He may change them but they apply to future dinners not the one in front of him. RIght now they are mushrooms and cauliflower. As to children having limited palates, Jacques Pepin says in one of his cookbooks, that since infancy, his children have eaten almost everything the grown ups do, just pureed. He believe's that it helps them to learn to eat the more "adult" flavors. One thing we do around the dinner table is the "Ingredient Guessing Game". My family takes turns guessing what ingredients went into the food. My son was agahst to find that there were minced mushrooms in a potsticker or anchovy paste in spinach, that he loved. It also gets the kids interested in the food and slows their eating as they think about what they are putting into their mouth.