Can someone please explain at what point in history it was decided that children’s menus would only offer the following?
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- Hamburger/Cheeseburger with French Fries (or Chips)
- Hot Dog/Corn Dog with French Fries (or Chips)
- Chicken Fingers with French Fries (or Chips)
- Macaroni and Cheese
- Cheese Pizza
- Plain Pasta
Sure my kids would gladly devour any of these choices, but I often wonder when it was decided that kids need a special, separate meal in the first place? Since when can’t they just eat what the adults are eating? Has it always been this way? Surely not.
It amazes me when we go to birthday parties and the food served to kids consists of pizza and cake. How is that possibly being passed off as a “complete meal” for our next generation? Where are the fruit and vegetables? When was it decided that kids would only eat a handful of simple (and somewhat bland) foods? I understand that pizza is usually a crowd pleaser, but how and when did things get to be so limited?
How did children end up with such a limited palate?
I too used to be guilty of thinking kids had a very limited palate. Not long after embarking upon our “100 Days of Real Food” pledge it dawned on me that I had never before offered my daughters a salad because…they are kids after all! That is honestly the only reason (other than the fact that we didn’t eat salad all the much in the old days), but I just assumed they wouldn’t be interested because “kids don’t like salads”…right? Well you should have seen how shocked I was when I finally offered my children a salad and saw my older daughter actually eating it. And liking it! It took much longer for my younger daughter to come around, but after lots of repeated exposure she eventually became open to the idea of salad (and more importantly began to expect it as a norm at our family dinners). That was definitely a lesson learned for me.
One thing I’ve noticed is that many kids these days will only eat foods if they look a certain way (i.e. familiar). If there is a variation from the norm then the whole meal could be a flop. Why is that? I’ll never forget this one instance (long before our real food days) when my parents were babysitting my 3-year-old niece. They knew she liked and would eat Kraft Macaroni & Cheese so that was the plan for her dinner. But what they didn’t know was since they bought Kraft “Shells” Macaroni & Cheese instead of the traditional variety that all hell would break loose. Has anyone had a similar experience?
Do your kids willingly try new foods?
It’s no secret that food is a big part of my life and one of the things I am interested in is other people’s food choices. I am curious what choices they make and why. One thing I’ve noticed is that when I am preparing food in the kitchen and I offer my children a bite of something, they almost always take me up on it. Usually it’s something I know they love like a piece of parmesan cheese, a bite of pesto, or a roasted cashew, but I admit I occasionally take advantage of the situation and slip a piece of olive in their mouths just to be sure they still don’t like it. They’ll make a face and spit it out, but thankfully it doesn’t stop them from coming back. :)
I’ve also noticed when I offer other kids a little bite of something as well they are almost always very much against the idea of taking the sample (usually before they even know what it is). Maybe it’s because I am not their mom and they’re scared what that “Organic Miss Lisa” might try to make them eat, but their response is dramatically different than what I am used to with my own children. I bring this up because I am curious about other’s experiences when you offer your own children new foods or bites of what you might be eating. Do they act like it is straight-up poison?
Can a picky eater really be converted?
Our younger daughter used to be extremely picky so I totally get it. It was much easier and much less time consuming (and also much less likely that food would be wasted) if I only offered her what I knew she would eat. I recently came across a document I’d typed up - for the same babysitting grandparents mentioned above - that was a complete list of all the foods my younger daughter would eat (she was 3 at the time). Let me tell you that it was a very short list with a mere 31 items on it including Spaghettio’s, Goldfish, Graham Crackers, only 1 dish containing meat (spaghetti sauce), 5 types of fruit, and only 1 vegetable (frozen peas).
Looking back I am amazed at how far this child has come. She was one of those that would spit out her baby food before she knew it was fun to annoy mommy by not liking anything. Her palate was dramatically different than our older daughter’s from day one. But after two years (since taking our pledge) of repeatedly offering her a variety of different foods she thankfully now has a broader palate than most adults. I will be the first to tell you it has not been easy, and many months passed before any of our efforts started to pay off. But since this is one of my only first-hand examples of watching a child’s eating habits change over time, I wonder if I can really attribute the change in her to something we’ve done or if she would have grown out of that picky phase on her own regardless?
What’s your opinion?
So I’d love to open this up for discussion….what is everyone else’s experience/input on children’s eating habits these days? Why are so many kids so incredibly picky and is it possible to change their preferences? I wonder what it was like a hundred years ago (or even now in other countries)…have kids always been catered to with a limited variety of special, separate meals?? Do we only give kids pizza and hot dogs because that’s all they’ll eat or do they only eat pizza and hot dogs because that’s all we give them? How can we break this cycle?
Michele Williams says
So I have been thinking a lot about this post. Obviously, there is no right answer, and exceptions to every rule. But I think the answer comes down to a couple of things:
Kids are picky because we let them be. Parents (including my former self) got lazy. We picked certain battles and food was not one of them. Kids can get real cranky if they are hungry, so lets feed them with something we know they will eat so we can just get past that point in the day. This becomes a vicious cycle because then they quickly become aware of foods they like and become resistant to trying new ones. Restaurants try to accomodate this as well hence the kids menu.
Presentation and illusion of choice - how we prepare the healthy food is very important. My mom made veggies as plain as could be, usually overcooked, and forced me to eat them. I HATED them. I now love every veggie there is since I learned how to season them. My 2 young kids have been eating sliced tomato and cucumber and MANy other veggies for years now because I drizzle them with either olive oil or salt, or both. We need to present it well to them and not try to force it on them!
Tonight is a great example for me about why I think this is the case. We are on day 6 of our pledge and my 3 year old has been having a tough time. When he heard I made brown rice for dinner he almost went into a complete tantrum until I assured him to please eat one bite of my awesome home made rice and if he did not like it, he did not have to eat it and I'd make something else. i'd let him put soy sauce on it, which he loves. He agreed, and loved it! Then for dessert we made your zuchinni bread mix into muffins. My 3 yo refuses to taste zuchinni or almonds. I asked him to help me make the recipe and he was so excited over participating that when I added the zuchinni and almonds he did not blink an eye, and he just finished his second muffin! Great recipe!!
In summary, kids are a challenge. But the bottom line is they eat what we give them, so we need to just keep trying as hard as we can until they can figure it out on their own!!
Bridget says
I am still amazed each time we ask our definitely-a-picky-eater-3-year old to try something that she actually does. Most of the time she tries it and doesn't really like it, but she always asks to try. That is what is confusing to me... that she keeps asking.
Marie says
My son does the same thing with tomatoes. He always wants them but only takes one bite. We had grape tomatoes a couple weeks ago and he ate several, so it seems he really likes the flavor (and maybe the smell?) but doesn't like something else (maybe the texture) so he's always willing to try but can't get past the first bite. Maybe it is something similar for your daughter? Maybe she would like the same things prepared/presented differently?
Nina says
Marie and Bridget, KEEP PRESENTING. It takes our palattes at least 10 different introductions of a particular food before we start to like it depending on what the food is. Check out "The Man Who Ate Everything" for a real world story on how and why this happens and how, if you keep presenting it, eventually it should be something they like.
Lorri says
I just thought of this post. My picky eater went to his friend's house for lunch today. The mom made him a peanut butter sandwich. He refused to eat it. When I asked him why, he told me that the bread was weird. It was white bread. He is just suspicious of new foods but prefers many healthier options because that is what he is used to at home. I keep offering new foods. Once in a while he will try something new because he tells me he likes me to be successful on occasion. haha
Laura says
This is a great topic! I had a question-My daughter is pretty picky, so my question is-When I offer her new foods or healthier ones and she doesn't want to eat them, so I just let her go hungry if it is going to take her months to come around? Does that make sense? I'm not saying I"m going to make her a different meal, but just curious to see what yall think. Thanks
Jennifer says
I think that starting with one or two new things at each meal is the key. Take your time to change your menu. Now, as far as junk food, I think you can go cold turkey and make homemade (healthier) options instead of buying lays chips, but on the "main" course type stuff, go slowly so as not to shock them and cause a rebellion. That's my opinion.
Juliana says
Have you tried presenting a new-and-healthier food alongside familiar things, requiring her to just take one bite? I think it takes something like 20 exposures to develop a positive association with a new taste, so it may take a lot of time, but don't give up!
Assistant to 100 Days (Jill) says
Hi Laura. Lots of great suggestions already left in the comments. I would always have at least one other thing on her plate that you know she likes and consider having her try a bite or two of the new food. Good luck. Jill
Melanie says
This topic has always left me confused. Before I had kids I was appalled by the choices for kids. My stepdaughter only ate junk food and these typical foods on the kids menu (chicken fingers, fries, mac n cheese, etc). When I became a mother I swore I would never make two meals (one for mom and dad and one for the kids). I have stuck to it. My kids eat great! They actually don't like the typical fried food options and carbs. They won't eat mac n cheese, pancakes, waffles, chicken fingers/nuggets. They do like fries, but I have shown them what really good fries taste like so they never want McDonald's or Wendys. They eat salad and every other veggie that most kids won't. I have always considered myself lucky. I am starting to realize it might not be luck. They eat what we eat. I cook from scratch everyday. I do not use frozen veggies or canned. I think the real reason my kids love real food is because REAL food taste good. Processed food is just bland over salted food. I think you can change a bad eater to a good eater but only if everyone is eating that way. We don't buy junk food so they don't have access to it. My kids are young... 2 and 4 yrs old. So start young. I made all their baby food (so that is the one time I made 2 meals). EArly on I was putting curry, cinnamon, garlic, etc into their meals. I know it is not easy to work and come home to cook, but there are ways to still put a home cooked meal on the table. Crock pots, or make ahead meals work. I meal plan for the week. And any meal that is longer than 30 mins to cook I make on Sunday and freeze. I also never make the same meal twice in the month. I love variety.
Jennifer says
How do you keep your kids from being exposed to junk food through other people? Our kids occasionally go into the neighbors house, who's pantry only contains trash. The parents do not limit consumption at all, so the kids grab whole bags of chips and cookies, etc which means that my kids get to eat it. Even if I don't "allow" them in the neighbors house, they bring it outside ALL of the time. I don't think that denying them those things is an effective way for them to learn what IS healthy, but it kills me to see them eating that junk. Absolutely kills me, Yet, I do not know what to do! Suggestions?
Hailey says
I think there has to be a balance and a lot of teaching elements for our children to learn to make these choices by themselves and for themselves. The reality is you can't control every situation and while you'd prefer they didn't have the junk food, there is an appeal to kids for things they don't normally get. I might discuss with my kids and help them decide before hand what an appropriate amount of *junk* might be - ie, only one bag of chips....not a bag of chips, then a chocolate bar, then candies, etc. And also, if you know they are going over to that house for a playdate, maybe fill them up with a veggie plate first so they aren't feeling as hungry? All in all, I think just keep the discussion open, notice if there are any behavior or energy issues after they have been there, and help them find the value in saying no themselves. But also realize, that maybe a bag of chips once in a while isn't the worst thing, although obviously you'd prefer it wasn't a part of their experience.
Hope that helps :)
marisa says
Im currently pregnant, and eat only a whole foods diet (along with my husband) despite not having kids yet, I watch my coworkers child nearly every day, and my neighbor runs a daycare so she plays with these children. I find every single thing they offer children to be cringe-worthy and quite frankly pitiful. pretty much zero effort processed food, artificially colored sugary beverages, and fried plates of frozen goods are just set out for nonchalant eating with all kids parked on the couch. its a nightmare to me but the kids do enjoy each others company so i still let her go over there. i do not think i have any right to infringe upon the way my neighbor chooses to feed her children, so instead of asking her to change i just supplied the food. i made up a fruit platter (strawberries, pitted cherries, watermelon, and a few orange slices set it out with a little homemade fruit dip and brought the tray along when we went to the neighbors) the kids all dug in, my neighbor appreciated that i brought something for them, and i didn't have to bite my tongue as i watched children devour junk. now i just make sure that I'm the adult that provides food whenever the little girl left in my care goes outside, even if the other kids don't want it shes a good eater and will usually prefer what i gave her in the first place
100 Days of Real Food says
My kids are definitely exposed to junk through other people...it happens ALL the time actually! And I try to encourage them (especially my older daughter) to make her own decisions about eating it or not. I don't want her avoiding junk food only because "mommy said so" but because she knows it should be consumed in moderation. I think TRY is the key word here though b/c they definitely indulge more often than not...it's something for us to work on for many years to come!
Jennifer says
Wow - this is a hot topic! I am a moderately reformed picky eater :) I would gag on certain textures and didn't like lots of things as a child and teenager. I still have some things I choose not to eat ("fishy" fish, overcooked veggies). My mom would let me know what she was making for dinner...if I didn't like it, I could fix myself a PB&J and clean up my own mess. Looking back, I did eat a relatively decent variety of foods as a child, but the thought of certain textures still makes me gag. I don't like slimy/mushy veggies but will usually eat them if they're still crunchy (I'm 32). I enjoy cooking and have transitioned to mostly real food way of life.
I don't think it was my mom's fault that I was a picky eater - she asked me to try things but stopped forcing the issue when she got tired of watching/hearing me gag at the dinner table. She didn't buy much junk food (we couldn't afford it) but would always buy fresh fruit or veggies if we saw something we wanted to try. I became less picky when I was in college and started cooking for myself on a regular basis - I still get in food ruts but at least they're healthy ruts :) I've learned that I "didn't like" some foods because they weren't prepared correctly (overcooked meat, eggs, veggies) or seasoned well.
I've also been curious about how things taste to other people - I have a geographic tongue so my taste buds respond to foods differently. How do you describe what a peach tastes like? Or green beans that have been cooked until they're gray?
For all of the parents of picky eaters...hang in there! Choose your battles and know that your kids will most likely become less picky over time. Offering healthy choices is never a bad decision :)
Sue O says
Jennifer, I recently discovered that I have a geographic tongue. I'm also a relatively picky eater, although I eat a lot more things now than I did as a child. Is there a correlation between the two?
Kari says
Growing up the veggies in our house were green beans, corn, potatoes and salad with iceberg lettuce. That's what my mom liked so that's what we ate. I learned to like brussel sprouts and broccoli and cauliflower from time I spent at my grandmas. I had asparagus for the first time as an adult. Same with fresh spinach which I found I loved. When we had kids we served them what we were eating. No special meals are made just for the kids...EVER! They don't have to eat it all, they don't have to like it but they do have to try it. Our kids shock people by eating salad (with romaine and spinach) broccoli and cauliflower (no cheese sauce..which shocked our pedatrician! Um...HELLO!!!), fish and lots of different fruits (kiwi is a favorite here!) My philosophy is they can't learn to like it if they aren't exposed to it. And they won't always like it right away, and some things they might never like, but you tried.
Debbie says
Kari, Do you mind if I ask you a question about "no special meals are made for the kids, ever?" I believe this too in theory, but in practice it has been very difficult for me to implement. The reason is that I like my food mixed up and my kids like it separated, even if it is the same food. For example, last night I served a salad. I served it all mixed together, but my daughter promptly sorted hers out into different piles. If I make spaghetti, I find myself asking who wants sauce and who wants cheese, etc. I made coleslaw one night, but my kids, who don't like cabbage at all anyway, said if they have to eat it they would rather have it without the mayonnaise. So, part of me doesn't think these variations are a big deal because at least they are eating the food. But it does take a few extra steps, which I don't always like. So I was wondering if you (or anyone else who does not make special meals for your children) prefer for everyone to have the meal prepared exactly the same or if it works better to vary it slightly according to personal preferences?
Nina says
Hi Debbie, I'm late to replying to you, but IMO making separate meals for them makes them MORE picky, it does not help things. I serve what I serve the way I serve it, which is the way we all eat it. You can opt for some choices for the sake of control - for example, whether or not you want the bread and butter on the side, or if you want bread plain with no butter, but not eating what's served is just too bad, you go hungry. Let me tell you, when kids are hungry and realize no special meals are being made for them and absoultely no bending of the rules will happen no matter how much they whine and complain, they will start eating what you present because there is no choice. No kid ever starved because the mother presented whole, helathful, balanced meals every night and every single night the kid completely refused to eat.
Debbie says
Nina, You are so kind for responding to my question! Your answer is great and just what I need to hear. Thank you so much!
Kari says
Sorry I'm just replying Debbie but Nina's answer is just what I would have said. If my kids want to eat spaghetti without the sauce and shredded cheese on it that's one thing. But I won't make two different sauces just because someone doesn't like tomatoe chunks in it. They can pick them out. I won't make steak for the adults and chicken nuggets for the kids. I offer a variety of fruits and veggies with meals so they have at least one that is their favorite. If they don't want to eat what we're having that night I'm not gonna make them a hot dog...they just don't eat. Some people think that's extreme and mean, but it very rarely happens if kids are good and hungry! Good luck!
Debbie says
Thanks Kari! I appreciate your reply! Learning how other people handle these situations really helps me.
Vicki says
Hi Debbie! I have the same problem as your kids, I do not like my food to touch! It is no fault of my mother, and she would always serve "just one meal" and that was it. If I did not like it, I just would not eat that portion of the meal. Extreme and mean ~ not so much...I managed to live, become an adult, and carry on to become a decent 35 year old. I was obsessed with divided plates with my daughter (now 4) and she did not pick up on my obssession. So, just make the same meal, but be sure to have a small option (such as a salad that CAN be picked apart of a veggie that you know they love) and they will be fine, IMHO.
Rebecca Foxworth says
There is only one drawback to feeding kids the same foods at home as the adults eat, IMHO. The "kids eat free" thing? Forget it. Mine don't want chicken nuggets or mac and cheese. Mine want their own serving of Apple Plank Chicken or Rib Eye Steak, which means I shell out a lot more and go out a lot less.
; )
Joni says
Rebecca, I have found in this situation, that my 13 year old (especially) is more than happy to share an adult entree with me. Portions are out of control at most restaurants anyway. We just ask for an extra plate and split it...or the three of us (him, his dad and I) will all share two entrees. My younger two are still happy to eat off the kids menu most of the time...or they will share an additional entree of something they like.
Katie | Healthnut Foodie says
Love this because it is SO true!!! My four-year-olds favorite restaurant meal is sauteed shrimp in lemon and herbs....and she can eat TWO appitizers worth of food!
jan says
we recently omitted red dye 40, and other dye for that matter, because it seems to be effecting my younger son (the PICKY one). We have eliminated alot of processed food in the process. My kids are 10 and 12 so I decided to actually talk to them about it and inform them about why we were changing. And it worked. My picky kid is trying more stuff without arguing. I have tried to replace their favorite junk with better options and I think that helps. I didn't feel like ripping the rug out from under them was the best approach. We have always been mindful of labels but we are just taking it to the next level. I told them there will be things we like and things we don't but lets at least try. So far so good. Good luck to all with picky eaters...I'm in your shoes.
Talitha says
One of my favorite stories was when my son's friend was over for supper before the boys went to kids club. I made fish, roasted potato oven fries, peas and salad. My son's friend asked what was for supper and I told him fish. "Oh... I don't like fish" he told me. So I told him he only had to try one bite, and if he didn't like it, he didn't have to eat it. "That's ok," he said, "I'll just make a sandwich."
My son quickly responded, "yeah, we don't do that here..." It still makes me chuckle when I remember it. And you know what? My son's friend ate ALL of his fish AND asked for seconds!
Christy says
My husband and I are transitioning our family to real foods. It's been almost three weeks and I'm absolutely loving it. It's been more of a challenge for us with our kids though. Our youngest, daughter, was always a fantastic eater as an itty bitty. Anything and everything I gave her, she'd eat. Our son, almost 7, has always been picky since moving from baby foods. I have NEVER been able to get him to eat fresh fruits (heck, even canned... yuck!). I think it's a texture thing. His main diet, I'm ashamed to say, since he was about three years old has been processed foods. It has been a challenge for us because he has Type 1 Diabetes and unlike type 2 (the one everyone knows about), he has to eat multiple times a day and needs carbs in his diet. When he was dx at age 3, they served him chicken nuggets in the hospital and it was all over with. It's all he would eat. That's a scary thing to think that your diabetic child won't eat... so you feed them what they will eat. (Insulin is not a cure, it's often our enemy). Anyway, I'm really needing some help on transitioning him. I'd love to see him eating more fruits and veggies (He will only eat canned green beans and carrots for veggies... fruit... only raisins --- if those are considered fruit!). My daughter will generally eat and be more adventurous, so I figure she'll be the easier transition, but I don't know how to transition our son. Any suggestions would be appreciated!!!
100 Days of Real Food says
Christy - Have you seen this post yet? https://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2011/09/09/real-food-tips-12-ways-to-deal-with-a-picky-eater/
It can take many months to a year to really turn the corner so don't give up!
Anitra says
I was a picky child - although there were many "kid foods" I didn't like either (hot dogs, anything with tomato sauce). I fought with my parents SO MUCH about certain foods that I vowed not to make it into a fight with my kids. They've gone through phases of pickyness, but at meal time I generally give each kid a little bit of everything we're eating and encourage them to at least give it a try.
My three-year-old often gets compliments from adults about how "well" she eats. In all honesty, she's got some pickiness too, but I know where her areas of absolute disgust lie (most of the time). She loves tomatoes and olives and pickles, along with most fruit, so when all else fails (at a restaurant or a party), that's what she gets. :)
I have noticed that some restaurants in our area try to expand their "kids menu" to include things beyond burgers, hot dogs, nuggets, pasta and pizza. Whenever we go somewhere that does, I try to make a point of mentioning it to the server and thanking them - even if my kids choose to eat a hot dog.
Debbie says
I love this!! It was always odd to me when my friends would make a completely different meal from what they were planning on eating for their children. First of all that is double the work and second how will the child learn to eat new things if you give them the same 5 things all the time? If the child doesn't want to eat it then they will eat it later when they are hungry! Thanks for posting!
Maleah says
I agree, repeated exposure works! Both of my girls (2-1/2 and 4) now eat broccoli and sweet potatoes. Both were foods that they actively spit out before. I started with just having 1-2 bites on their plates. I never made a big deal about eating all of it but did require them to take one 'no thank you bite'. If they did great, and if they didn't that was okay too. For balance, and sure assure that my incredibly skinny children DO EAT, I make sure to having something on their plates that I know they like.
Millie Snyder says
These are great topics! I found myself chuckling in agreement on so many issues like... "kids don't like salads"... right? Since when were there "kid" foods and "adult" foods? I mean we all need similar nutrients so at what point did we establish different menus? Do the adults get the food that is more difficult to eat, or tastes worse? The concept seems silly to reflect on.
These days we are told about HALF of our plates should be filled with vegetables. Great! My kid's least favorite part of dinner. So what I tried was adding a salad to dinner every night. My kids began to expect it, and I think they were surprised how many different types of salads there are. And, they liked it! They began to pick their favorites (southwestern salad) and ask for me to make those. This was a great method because you can easily stick various vegetables into a salad, and mask the taste with different dressings and toppings. Now, half of our plate really is vegetables!
Kimber says
Bottom line - if your child is hungry they will eat what you give them!
Anitra says
Kimber - Be careful with a blanket statement like that. I've known some kids who really will starve themselves rather than eat something they hate.
Melissa says
I love this site! I have 3 children who are 16, 13 and 8. My older kids are good eaters now, but that took a great deal of time and effort. I started my journey towards healthy eating with the kids (I have always eaten well myself..) when my oldest started showing signs of ADD at age 7. I immediately recognized that it was the food that I was giving her and started slowly removing foods, starting with anything with food dyes. Over time, our family has evolved into a family that eats whole foods...I grow some of my own veggies and fruits, I preserve food, I bake, etc. Despite all of this, for many years, I struggled with my youngest being a picky eater, despite my doing things completely differently than with the older two. This year, I gave him a challenge. He had to try one fruit and one veggie each month from Sept thru May (our school year) and as long as he ate these F&V and added them into his diet (unless he really disliked one, which did not happen), he could get a special gift at the end. This was a child that starting in September only ate peas, corn, and bananas with regard to F&V. Now.. he eats (regularly!!!) carrots, asparagus, greens, raspberries, oranges, grapefruits, blueberries, grapes, broccoli, green beans, tomatoes, salad, zucchini, cantalope, etc... He actually asks for salad in his lunch, begs for blueberries, and loves to help me pick things out of the garden to eat. He knows what food he shouldn't eat, talks about how bad the junk that other kids eat is and has been healthier than ever! The program went so well that not only is he getting the iPod touch that he wanted (he actually had to contribute some of his bday money to this.. ) that we are extending it through next year (starting in Sept) so he can earn something else. I highly recommend it and would be happy to help anyone interested enact this with their kids!
PS... To Stephanie who posted asking about a multivitamin for kids.. have you ever heard of Juice Plus? It is a whole food supplement, fruits and vegetables in capsules or chewables. Gives you all the phytonutrients in the F&V instead of just the vitamins and minerals. LMK if you want more info..
Jessie says
My daughter (3years old) is one of the pickiest kids I know. For a while, the rule was if you don't eat what is served, you don't eat at all. She lost two pounds in one month. She had been catagorized as "failing to thrive" since she was born because she was always underweight. If we told her she had to eat a certain something or nothing at all, she just wouldn't eat.
Now we do the "one bite" rule. She has to try a bite of everything and I make sure that at least one thing at each meal is something she likes. She doesn't get a seperate meal, I just make sure that our meal has something she likes. I also let her help a great deal in the kitchen. I find if she helps me, then she is excited to eat what she makes. Last night we made your pizza pockets and she made her own with cheese she selected from the cheese drawer. She has NEVER eaten plain cheese before but she tried a few pieces last night to see which one she wanted in her pizza pocket.
I guess my point to other moms (and dads too!) is not to give up. It's still rough some days but she is slowly trying more things. When I started involving her in our meal preperation, things got so much better! I use to only let her help me when it was something fun (cakes, pies, etc.) but now she helps with everything. She even loves to peel the "paper" off the onions.
Lisa Jean says
I have a family child care business in my home where I feed 5-10 children daily. I am on my 18th year. I've seen many children go through different stages of picky eating. As I learn about what is 'more healthy' I try to make changes. A few years back I started to make most of our own baby food. If we were having baked sweet potatoes, then bake an extra and puree it for the babies. Saved tons of money and I realized that the babies fed homemade baby food transitioned so much better to regular food. Part of it I think is the texture. I have never made a separate lunch for a picky eater, but try to include something that I know they will eat on the menu for the day they are here. I have only had a small handful of extremely picky eaters. Many children will eat foods here that they won't eat at home. May be a bit of peer pressure in a good way :) I had one Dad that would jokingly say I was lying when I would tell him his some had 3 servings of Shepherd's Pie. I use no prepared food-we make our own chicken nuggets and mac/cheese, etc. Parents are busy and they want their kids to eat 'something'. I learned a long time ago at a food training for child care, that a child may need to be exposed to a new food 10 times before they try it. I encourage a no thank you bite of everything, but can't force it. I'll put one bite of everything on their plate, just in case they want to try it. And salads, one day one of us adults was making a Ceasear salad and the kids wanted one, now most days they all are eating them! (Newmans's dressing)
Stephanie says
Do you give your kids any type of multivitamin? I'm not currently but wondering if I should be giving my 2 year old one and if so, what kind? She is a good eater and, like your kids, will try one bite of almost anything. She definitely has her short list of her favorites where she will clean her plate, but is good at trying my salads and any veggies we have out (though she won't fill up on those- just a few bites here and there). I hope that it is just the start and she will begin to eat more of them every time we offer them.
Assistant to 100 Days (Jill) says
Hi Stephanie. No, Lisa does not give her kids a multivitamin. Jill
Marie says
I live in France, and while I've heard the stories of kids eating everything, I can attest it just isn't so.
The first thing that drives me nuts is the after-school snack. All of the kids have chocolate-covered cookies or super-sweet pastries at 4pm. I'm constantly stopped by (French) people telling me how good it is to see my kids (3 and 1-1/2) eating carrots/cucumbers/apples/etc. on the way home from school.
My son eats a ton of things, but at the same time he is a bit picky. He loved plain yogurt and cheese and milk until one day he suddenly wouldn't touch dairy anymore (although he will eat cheese cooked into things and he knows it is there - but NOT mac & cheese!). He doesn't like a lot of sauces (although if I tell him it is soup, he might eat it). Potatoes were his favorite food but lately he isn't interested anymore. He will eat salad (or at least try...it keeps him busy chewing - I think that is perhaps why it isn't an obvious choice for little ones) and the French always comment on how unusual that is as well.
At French restaurants, the kids meals are usually a hamburger patty, chicken nuggets, or some sort of sausage (if they even have a kids menu - and they don't expect my 18 month old to eat anything). Always with fries. My kids do not like hamburger or sausage. I was actually pleased last summer in the US to find some different choices (grilled chicken/grilled fish and sides other than fries) on kids menus...and with reasonable prices. When we go out over here, we usually go for Lebanese or Indian (because they open before 7pm) and the kids each get an appetizer and then steal from our plates. A trip to the park beforehand ensures they are hungry, which always improves their capacity for trying new things!
tuxgirl says
I grew up eating a lot of sweetened foods... cinnamon toast crunch was my favorite cereal for a while... and I *never* had plain yogurt.
Well, one day when my daughter was almost 2, I'm not sure how it happened, but somehow, we had plain yogurt instead of vanilla at home. I probably just grabbed the wrong thing at the store. Anyway, I gave her some. She loved it. I don't buy flavored yogurt anymore, and I'm working on getting to the point where I like it. Sadly, I'm struggling much more than she does with that...
Marie says
To get used to plain yogurt, you can sprinkle a little sugar or honey on top to help you get used to the taste. As you get used to it, put less and less sweetener until you don't need any at all.
Jennifer says
eat it with a good granola and fruit in it. you will never look back, i like this granola recipe a lot.
http://www.organicspark.com/portfolio/really-healthy-granola/
Elizabeth says
Oh, and when I say I make things from scratch, I really do. My son can't have very much processed food due to his dairy and soy allergy. So, even when we have pizza, I grind my own wheat (yes, I have a wheat grinder!) and make my own pizza dough (whole wheat flour, yeast, salt, honey, water, extra virgin olive oil), make my own pizza sauce, then top it how each person wants. Pancakes are again, whole wheat, made from scratch, with rice milk. Muffins are, you guessed it, whole wheat (and with rice milk), made in a variety of flavors. My kids' favorite is chocolate pumpkin (cocoa powder and solid pack pumpkin added to the batter) or chocolate raspberry (grated dark chocolate and fresh raspberries mixed in). You can make standard processed breakfast foods that are usually high sugar and high fat (with little to no vitamins and minerals) much healthier and pack a lot of nutrition into a small package.
Elizabeth says
Often when my children were very young, I use my mini cuisinart to puree whatever I made for the family for dinner. I exposed them (after the initial introduction of foods, watching for allergies) to a variety of foods and flavors from 8 or 9 months old. I also rarely make a completely separate meal (it does happen sometimes...I have a child allergic to both dairy and to soy, and dang it, there are times I want Chinese food or something dairy laden). They have to at least try a small bite of everything. I also have a rule that people who eat their meals (it doesn't mean they have to clean their plate...just eat an acceptable amount at a meal to satisfy hunger) may have a snack between meals if they are hungry before the next meal, but people who do not eat at a meal must wait for the next meal to eat. My son is more adventurous at this point, but he's also several years older than his sister. With time, I expect her to get there too.
Barring allergies and severe sensory issues (which I have some understanding of...my son who has the allergies to dairy and soy also has autism and we've had our share of food issues), children will learn to like what they are served. I work with children who are extremely picky and most of them have conditions and some of them need a feeding team involving a dietitian, an occupational therapist and a speech pathologist. They need specific, targeted theraputic intervention to enjoy their food, often even to broaden their diet to get enough basic nutrition.
However, so many people these days rely on processed, convenience foods. They feed their children what they eat, and what they think their children will eat. That's half (or more) of the battle right there. There are a few restaurants that my family patronizes more frequently than others because I can get better quality, fresher, and more nutritious food. I'm willing to pay more for it. It DOES take time to train a palate, and some palates take longer to train than others, but you have to put the time and effort into it, and then it will happen. Am I perfect? Hardly. When I cook, I cook from scratch using real ingredients (barring substitutes for real ingredients due to allergies...such as dairy free/soy free cheese for pizza, dairy free margarine, etc.), I brown bag mine and my children's lunches, and bake from scratch in bulk once a month, freezing everything so my children can have nutritious warm breakfasts. However, I'm a working mother who has a special needs child and a husband who works swing shift. Most days I'm gone from my house (my children with me) 11 hours a day (once a week 12 hours), and fast food happens about once a week, sometimes twice. I'm continually trying to better our diet, but I've realized as long as I'm working full-time outside the home, it's not going to be perfect, and I'm OK with that.
Christine says
I love this blog, and especially this post! I recently had a discussion with my best friend about school lunches and left the conversation feeling both like I had offended her, and like I was some kind of psychotic monster, because I wanted to feed my son (3) real food. I rarely make my son a special meal; if I feel like he really won't even try something I make for dinner, I feed him leftovers from the previous night or lunch. I lost my job last year and we moved in with my parents, and I have seen a huge difference in what he will eat, which I attribute to the snacking my folks do (and allow him to do), and to their attempts to feed him "kid" food. I find this really odd, since I never got a special meal and we rarely had snack foods in the house when I was growing up. But just knowing there are others out there fighting the good fight with me makes me feel better, so thank you!
Tiffany says
I require my kids to eat whatever I eat, even if it's only 1 bite. My kids are 9,7, & 5 and eat a variety of "adult food" I don't particularly care for hot dog and pizza so I don't buy it. I believe children eat what they are feed. The only catering to tastes that I give into are condiments. BTW I LOVE YOUR SITE!
Jennifer Busick says
Restaurants offer kids' menus because the less expensive offerings bring in families who don't want to pay adult prices for adult servings for their kids. Because this food has to be cheaper, it tends to be the same cheap things. My older daughter -- never an adventurous eater -- eventually grew sick of kids' menu offerings and around 9 years old, started refusing to order from it. In contrast, my younger daughter (who just turned 9), and who is a much more adventurous eater than her big sis, can only be persuaded with great difficulty to order anything but chicken strips or a hot dog in a restaurant. Go figure.
As far as changing tastes and getting kids to try new things, one surprising thing that worked for us was... books. I read the Little House books with my younger daughter, and she started pointing out things in the grocery store that Laura and Mary ate, and insisting that we try them. We tried salt pork and turnips and cottage cheese and pancakes with brown sugar melted in between them while they were still warm and I forget what all else because of Little House on the Prairie. So, hey, if you want your kids to try Lobscouse, why not read some Patrick O'Brian out loud and then serve the Lobscouse? The literary road to food.
Erin CF says
Very interesting comments and I think it is encouraging to hear that there are other households out there offering lots of real food to their children. I have been blessed to have 3 kids who were born to eat. Ever since their first bites of solids they have been willing to try new things. So far I haven't managed to mess this up, but I definitly haven't had to TEACH them to like food. We encourage a pretty realistic dialouge around food. We explain how food (diff food groups as well as junk vs healthy food) affects the body. We also have been very careful never to let our children hear us say "Oh Caleb doesn't like tomatoes" or worse "oh leave that, you don't like tomatoes". Even now if they come across something they don't care for they say "I don't care for this" or "I just don't feel like eating ___ tonight". It leaves the door open to trying things next time when they may be just hungry enough to find it tasty!! Keep Keeping it Real, it is nice to know there are lots of other real food mommas out there!!
Cathy says
We have five, ages 2, 4, 5, 8, and 11. With my first, I was not yet into whole foods, so fed her the typically suggested "baby foods" (not homemade, though I did buy organic as much as possible). After that, we started our journey into whole foods. That child is still my picky eater, so I really wonder if there is some connection there. The others have all grown up eating "weird" stuff and are pretty good about trying new things. However, my picky eater tends to especially dislike rice and oatmeal, so I do also wonder if there is some sensory problem going on there as well.
We do have a rule at restaurants that, even off the kid's menu, the kids have to pick something of the ethnicity of where we are eating. Enchiladas or tacos at a Mexican restaurant, spaghetti or ravioli at an Italian restaurant. Works well for us, though they occasionally ask for the chicken tenders instead, lol.
Lara says
This is a great post-thank you! I will say that this topic weighs on my mind constantly, and it's so great to see this conversation and hear others' thoughts. I do think that the way we feed kids as a society has changed drastically over the last generation or so. So many people eat the majority of their meals out now, and convenience is the number one priority. When ease and convenience are ranked higher on the priority list than nutrition, the goal becomes getting the kids to eat quickly and easily, and that means not taking risks. Also, most restaurant food all tastes the same, in reality. So, if kids get used to eating restaurant food, I would think their palates would be much more limited than if they are exposed to a variety of flavors and textures via home cooking, which is by nature not as uniform since it's not mass-produced. I do also think that we have become so conditioned to avoid allowing our kids to go without, and I'm not sure where that comes from. As a mom, my rule is that if the kids choose not to eat what I serve, then they are welcome to wait until the next meal to try again. But, I do admit that guilt about them "missing a meal" is in the back of my mind. How did we get so conditioned to worry about our kids missing meals, when in reality, they are probably overfed to begin with? I can't tell you how many times I've heard parents say, "Well, at least they ate SOMETHING," even if it is all junk. When did just filling their stomachs become more important than teaching them to appreciate quality, healthy food?
Isana says
I'm a new reader and before I get to my kids & food response, I just wanted to say that I absolutely love your blog.
As for kids and food, I'm firmly of the opinion that kids are picky eaters because parents make them picking eaters by:
a. limiting their choice because "(s)he is just a child!"
b. playing the role of short order cook
c. feeding (and filling up) their kids on processed junk (goldfish crackers, cereals, juice, etc.) otherwise known as "snacks"
d. setting a bad example as an adult fussy eater
My daughter is 5 and she will eat just about anything as long as it's prepared well and not spicy. She loves sushi, veggies/fruit, foods heavy on herbs & spices, legumes, whole grain pasta. Quinoa, cooked carrots, and eggplant are on her "I don't really like it list" and I think 2-3 foods "MEH" foods are reasonable for a child. I ask her to take a bite whenever I make any of her "meh" foods and she continues to confirm that she doesn't like them.
I read a great book a couple months ago -- "French Kids Eat Everything: How Our Family Moved to France, Cured Picky Eating, Banned Snacking, and Discovered 10 Simple Rules for Raising Happy, Healthy Eaters". I highly recommend it to anyone with a fussy eater.
Assistant to 100 Days (Jill) says
Hi Isana. Welcome to the blog. Thanks for the book recommendation. I have not read it yet but it is on my summer list. Jill
Kerri says
I posted before how one kid is a good eater and one is not. I used to think my picky kid was just strong willed, but then he started throwing up when I made him take a bite. Oops! Maybe it is a texture thing! At any rate, maybe this is bad, but I try not to mind too much about the kids menus. I do wish they would put one thing on their menu that represents their restaurant. My kids would not necessarily pick it, but at least they would have the option!
Mieke says
I, for one, was never given such a limited selection of foods as a child. I ate the same foods as my parents or I just plain didn't eat. I was not given other options for meals. My parents never asked my brother or I to eat off the kids menu and, to my knowledge, I never did. I am raising my daughter in a similar fashion. While I do generally ask her what she would like for breakfast and I try to pack her a lunch of foods I know she will eat - at dinner I make one meal for us all and if she doesn't eat it, then she just doesn't eat. I never make her something different. And, there have been many nights where she has refused to eat dinner - sometimes even if I have made something I know she likes and has eaten many times before. She does choose to eat off the kids menu most of the time, but it is not required by any means. I try to point out to her that there are different foods that she may try on the regular menu. And, I am sure that she will eventually branch out and try new things because she is given the option to do so! It drives me nuts when parents require their kids to eat off the kids menu!
I think that we are starting from infancy training our kids to only like certain foods. We are being scared by doctors into thinking that we have to wait to feed our kids certain foods before they are a certain age to try and prevent food allergies, etc. - I was plagued by this at the beginning as well before I figured out that the whole thing was ridiculous. Once I figured out that I didn't need to follow this new "wisdom," I started feeding my daughter the same foods as we were eating. And, guess what? She doesn't have any food allergies and is VERY healthy! By 7 months she was eating the same foods as my husband and I!
Parents continue to feed their kids supposedly "kid-friendly" foods because they are "scared" that their children will actually starve if they do not feed them the foods they want instead of expecting them to eat a variety of food. I am sorry, but I have never seen a child that would actually starve themselves instead of eating! It goes against our human nature to starve ourselves! Kids WILL eat when they are hungry!
Jamie says
I think it's all about familiarity and what kids are fed at home by their parents. From personal experience, growing up I was SUPER picky and my parents always ordered a cheeseburger meat and cheese only or pepperoni pizza for me when we ate out. I am 29 years old and just in the last year (as I've been changing our family's diet to real food) I have started eating burgers with lettuce and tomatoes and pizza with toppings other than pepperoni and I love it! That is crazy! I can see with my own kids (3 yrs,2 yrs, and 8 mos) that they like the things that are familiar. Even if I prepare the same food but in a different way (for example tonight I grilled slices of squash) they wouldn't touch it and normally they love squash! They love all kinds of healthy food, but it's because that's what we feed them. I am definitely guilty of not offering them enough variety, but they really make it pretty easy on me by eating raw or steamed veggies any time. I have one who is very picky, but he loves the fruits and veggies, I just have a hard time getting him to eat meat dishes sometimes. So, all that to say, I think kids will eat whatever you feed them but I'm sure it's harder to start when they are older. Thankfully I'm getting our diet on track now while they're young, before they get used to the junk! My husband and I are having a much harder time switching over to no processed food than they are. :)
Anne says
Mine are not picky unless they have the influence of peers who are picky eaters. Overall, they'll try any foods at the dinner table. Eating out, I get frustrated with most kids' menus too. We've found it's often a better value to let our two split one adult meal that includes some real food. And then there's always the advantage for a few years before the kids can read: they don't need to know that fries were one of the side choices and not just broccoli and carrots!
Claire says
I am eternally grateful that I have a daughter who at 27 months will eat anything as long as it is not spicy. We are currently living in Singapore and most restaurants will just put a child sized bowl and d cutlery on the table with the expectation being that our daughter will eat what we are having. She eats crab, sushi, noodles of all descriptions. She loves fruit and her favourite vegetable list is long. I am also a big fan of baby lead weaning. Our daughter loathed baby mush but was excited by eating what we ate.
Some restaurants here offer a kids menu but most of them are a big improvement on the nuggets and pizza. Usually they have a little salad, some meat or prawns served with rice or noodles followed by a fruit jelly. The odd nugget does make an appearance but they tend to be home made style.
I realized the other day that our daughter has never had Mac and cheese although I tried the kraft stuff a few years ago (I am a New Zealander and we do not have it there) and I was horrified by the colour, flavour..... I would think about making it from scratch the way we had it as children...
I am hoping that my daughter's adventurous palate will expand to include spicy food as she gets older. One of us always needs to order a non spicy option which is not always easy in a country where chillies are in almost everything.
Christine says
My son, who is now 14, ate almost every veggie you put in front of him as a younger child, now he barely touches anything green;except brussel sprouts and broccoli(go figure!). I'm just keeping the healthy options available and hopefully someday, his tastebuds will come back!
nanette says
Last summer, our family took our own "62-day Real Food Challenge" (July and August 2011). One of the things that was most noticeable to me was that my children, all of a sudden, were willing to try just about any food I put in front of them. I think it may have been because so much of the food they had been eating suddenly disappeared. They were excited by the prospect of our whole family taking a "challenge" together, and may also have felt that if they didn't try the real food, they may have starved. They were probably pretty surprised to find that they liked the vast majority of everything they tried! Once September came around, we eased up only a little. We now eat a couple of non-real-food meals per week. My kids may not be quite as enthusiastic now as they were last summer, when it comes to trying new foods, but they are still pretty willing. Their new-found openness to trying new foods was (for me) as much a benefit of our new diet as knowing that they are eating a healthier! (Not to mention the fact that my 9-year-old's chronic constipation had completely disappeared, less than a week into our challenge, after years of Miralax and prune juice in the morning!)
Jenny says
This can be a tricky issue. My 6 year old daughter can be very fussy. I know my kids are exposed to more food choices than others and her other siblings have pretty good appetites. I find that she doesn't like foods she can't recognise. If I put meat and 3 veg on the plate she'll probably eat most of the vegetables but doesn't really like meat. But if I mix the vegetables through mince like I did last night, not a chance. And then there's yesterday mornings saga when I made the wholemeal banana pancakes (which I made last weekend and she ate 2), I thought I was onto a winner. But yesterday it took her half an hour to eat one (reluctantly). I think the main thing is don't give up. Her sisters were all a bit picky, but have grown out of it. Hopefully she will too.
Beth says
I figure whenever we eat out it will probably be junk food. My twins (3 yrs) barely touch restaurant food if and when we get it, unless it is something familiar already. My son is the more adventurous eater - I discovered one day they he liked spicy food when he started drinking salsa! He even eats dried seaweed with wasabi, which is even a little spicy for me. My daughter however eats more like my husband - supertaster picky - rarely eats veggies if they are in "natural" form. Loves fruit, milk and cheese. I don't push them to clean their plates, but I do ask that they at least taste something new before they declare it yucky. I saw my brother struggle with his sons picky eating and didn't want to get into the same dynamic with my twins. Dinner would be a huge struggle and it usually ended in an argument. (from 3-4 yrs). Then one day my nephew just started growing and chewing down everything in sight - dinnertime stress was finally over!