Can someone please explain at what point in history it was decided that children’s menus would only offer the following?
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- Hamburger/Cheeseburger with French Fries (or Chips)
- Hot Dog/Corn Dog with French Fries (or Chips)
- Chicken Fingers with French Fries (or Chips)
- Macaroni and Cheese
- Cheese Pizza
- Plain Pasta
Sure my kids would gladly devour any of these choices, but I often wonder when it was decided that kids need a special, separate meal in the first place? Since when can’t they just eat what the adults are eating? Has it always been this way? Surely not.
It amazes me when we go to birthday parties and the food served to kids consists of pizza and cake. How is that possibly being passed off as a “complete meal” for our next generation? Where are the fruit and vegetables? When was it decided that kids would only eat a handful of simple (and somewhat bland) foods? I understand that pizza is usually a crowd pleaser, but how and when did things get to be so limited?
How did children end up with such a limited palate?
I too used to be guilty of thinking kids had a very limited palate. Not long after embarking upon our “100 Days of Real Food” pledge it dawned on me that I had never before offered my daughters a salad because…they are kids after all! That is honestly the only reason (other than the fact that we didn’t eat salad all the much in the old days), but I just assumed they wouldn’t be interested because “kids don’t like salads”…right? Well you should have seen how shocked I was when I finally offered my children a salad and saw my older daughter actually eating it. And liking it! It took much longer for my younger daughter to come around, but after lots of repeated exposure she eventually became open to the idea of salad (and more importantly began to expect it as a norm at our family dinners). That was definitely a lesson learned for me.
One thing I’ve noticed is that many kids these days will only eat foods if they look a certain way (i.e. familiar). If there is a variation from the norm then the whole meal could be a flop. Why is that? I’ll never forget this one instance (long before our real food days) when my parents were babysitting my 3-year-old niece. They knew she liked and would eat Kraft Macaroni & Cheese so that was the plan for her dinner. But what they didn’t know was since they bought Kraft “Shells” Macaroni & Cheese instead of the traditional variety that all hell would break loose. Has anyone had a similar experience?
Do your kids willingly try new foods?
It’s no secret that food is a big part of my life and one of the things I am interested in is other people’s food choices. I am curious what choices they make and why. One thing I’ve noticed is that when I am preparing food in the kitchen and I offer my children a bite of something, they almost always take me up on it. Usually it’s something I know they love like a piece of parmesan cheese, a bite of pesto, or a roasted cashew, but I admit I occasionally take advantage of the situation and slip a piece of olive in their mouths just to be sure they still don’t like it. They’ll make a face and spit it out, but thankfully it doesn’t stop them from coming back. :)
I’ve also noticed when I offer other kids a little bite of something as well they are almost always very much against the idea of taking the sample (usually before they even know what it is). Maybe it’s because I am not their mom and they’re scared what that “Organic Miss Lisa” might try to make them eat, but their response is dramatically different than what I am used to with my own children. I bring this up because I am curious about other’s experiences when you offer your own children new foods or bites of what you might be eating. Do they act like it is straight-up poison?
Can a picky eater really be converted?
Our younger daughter used to be extremely picky so I totally get it. It was much easier and much less time consuming (and also much less likely that food would be wasted) if I only offered her what I knew she would eat. I recently came across a document I’d typed up - for the same babysitting grandparents mentioned above - that was a complete list of all the foods my younger daughter would eat (she was 3 at the time). Let me tell you that it was a very short list with a mere 31 items on it including Spaghettio’s, Goldfish, Graham Crackers, only 1 dish containing meat (spaghetti sauce), 5 types of fruit, and only 1 vegetable (frozen peas).
Looking back I am amazed at how far this child has come. She was one of those that would spit out her baby food before she knew it was fun to annoy mommy by not liking anything. Her palate was dramatically different than our older daughter’s from day one. But after two years (since taking our pledge) of repeatedly offering her a variety of different foods she thankfully now has a broader palate than most adults. I will be the first to tell you it has not been easy, and many months passed before any of our efforts started to pay off. But since this is one of my only first-hand examples of watching a child’s eating habits change over time, I wonder if I can really attribute the change in her to something we’ve done or if she would have grown out of that picky phase on her own regardless?
What’s your opinion?
So I’d love to open this up for discussion….what is everyone else’s experience/input on children’s eating habits these days? Why are so many kids so incredibly picky and is it possible to change their preferences? I wonder what it was like a hundred years ago (or even now in other countries)…have kids always been catered to with a limited variety of special, separate meals?? Do we only give kids pizza and hot dogs because that’s all they’ll eat or do they only eat pizza and hot dogs because that’s all we give them? How can we break this cycle?
Wendy says
I have always given choices for breakfast and lunch (for the most part) but never for dinner. My kids have always eaten what I fix. It gets easier as they get older for sure. When they are smaller and they say they don't like something, even without trying it, I tell them they have to try it first before they say that. Then I make it again later and they get better at eating it. There have been some things my kids REFUSE to eat like mushrooms or chunks of tomatoes so I have not pushed that (I remember how it felt to be forced to eat things I did not like), after all we all have our preferences and they are their own people. But I don't let that stop me from using those things in my cooking.
Joani says
I feel bad for my mother, since I was a notoriously picky child. I refused to eat pretty much anything other than macaroni and cheese, scrambled eggs, and cereal. I also distinctly remember a time when I was probably around five when I stopped eating solid food altogether, and my mother had to put me back on baby food. I still have no idea why I did this! So I really sympathize with parents who have picky eaters!
Rebekah says
I feel lucky my almost 4 yr old is not a picky eater. Sure she rejects some of the items (grilled bok choy) but she will often try at least everything. I've never made more than one meal but I sympathize with others who need to make alternate choices due to allergies, intolerance or textural issues. Since we don't have any of those issues I feel at liberty to offer one meal and it's take it or leave it so to speak. When I was a teen and had access to friends/car my parents decided that the alternate dinner meal was a plain peanut butter sandwich - no jelly. So if you didn't like the meal you made yourself an alternative. This was because they were worried I'd then get my food elsewhere, which I did on a few occasions. I think as a parent in my limited years, you have to make changes along the way - kind of roll with the punches.
I do not like children's menus - prices are obviously better but seriously the choices? Awful. We rarely eat out except at Nordstrom's cafe, or a local pizza joint.
I was a proud mama yesterday when at our church picnic, my daughter picked up the fried chicken (only choice to main meal) and asked how do you eat this?
Kristy says
My parents rule and my rule with my 3 year old is "Just a little bit please" We always had to try it. We never make a separate meal for anyone. You don't have to clear your plate you just have to try it. That is what is important to me. My 3 year old eats salads, peas, broccoli, and many other things. He doesn't like carrots but he knows he has to eat a couple of bites. Sometimes he struggles but for the most part he is happy to eat new foods and his veggies.
Stephanie says
This post has such perfect timing. I threw my 4-year-old daughter's birthday party this weekend. In the past we have always just done burgers or hot dogs because that's what we thought people would eat. But now that we are on a healthier "real food" diet I didn't want to change that just for a party (although we did have cake). I made baked black bean taquitos, your tortilla soup recipe, and your Lime-Cilantro Quinoa salad. For drinks I made a fresh lemonade with watermelon and strawberries in it. And you know what? Everyone, including the kids (the youngest was 2), loved all the food! I realized after the party that I think this was also the first time I didn't serve meat at a get together. And it wasn't missed.
Nicole says
My kids eat a wide variety of foods, and eat A LOT! I am often surprised at how little some kids can eat. Some of them whom I know personally, fill up on snacks and then don't want the meal. Others, I'm not sure???
We have always made most everything from scratch and I think that has helped a lot...my last two children, especially, (5 and 1.5) will try anything and eat most things--new or not--beets, chard, salmon, ect. I think this is because they have not grown up with fast food, or convenience items...
That said, I don't have any children with sensory issues, but there are still a few things my husband won't eat because of textures (but even he has come a looong way.)
Jan says
I find my 6 yr old to be fairly picky- mostly that she likes really plain food- she will absolutely not eat ketchup, mustard, bbq sauce, pasta sauce, pizza, chicken nuggets, hotdogs, or anything that comes mixed together like a casserole. But she will eat surprising things like salmon, or roasted seaweed.
Theresa says
Timely post. Why does the adult burger come with lettuce and tomato and the child burger does not? I notice when I begin feeding my daughter the unhealthy food she becomes very picky and fights about what she will eat and how much she will eat of the real food. If she has had limited processed foods, she will happily sit and eat whatever is put in front of her. Yesterday she grabbed a handful of cherry tomatoes and then began digging through the salad to find more to eat. A week before I was fighting with her to eat them.
And I second the statement that it is hard when you have to rely on other adults to feed your child. They can't seem to understand that "child" food is not always good food.
Dana says
In general, I think kids eat what they are exposed to. My daughter is almost 3 and enjoys things I still don't enjoy as an adult and definitely would not have eaten as a child. I was a picky child and have gotten much better as an adult through learning to enjoy real food. As soon as she started purees, I made an effort to not allow my food preferences to limit her exposure to food. When she began having solids, we decided to serve her exactly what we eat for dinner: meat, fish, veggies, etc. I do not make separate meals for her unless I made something too spicy. I don't think she has ever asked for a PB sandwich for dinner or an alternative meal; it's just not an option. I also think so many foods are packaged and marketed to us as "kid food" i.e. puffs, crunchy snacks, colorful cereal, etc. We have come to think that it is perfectly acceptable for their daily diets to consist of all those things.
sherry says
At least in my experience, children's menus are a rather recent thing in the first place. Remember, 25 years ago there were no such things as Applebee's or other mid-point restaurants between burger joints and "real" restaurants. Yes, there were diners and such, but most people who went there with kids chose an adult meal and two kids shared it, or an adult asked for--and got--an extra plate and shared a meal with the child. My parents' families lived pretty far away from us and we traveled regularly to visit when my brother and I were small. (Some of it pre-Interstate!) We frequented the roadside diners and cafe style places that were pretty common then during these trips, and although I do remember my mom sometimes ordering two or three sides which my brother and I split for our meal, she always picked vegetables and a starch, maybe one order of a meat that we would also split. Not really what you would call a children's meal compared to today.
RJ says
I think those options are available because that is what kids will eat. Or that is what many assume. When we went on vacation I always checked the kid menu because I wanted a smaller portion for her but I only ordered off it once, the rest of the time we shared. The one time I did it was fish and fruit. I was happy to see that. Until it came to the table and the fruit was blue jello.
Sandy @ God Speaks Today says
My 3 kids all vary in "picky-ness" but they all like a good variety of healthy foods. I think the key is to keep exposing them to healthy things.
My rule is that I usually make something new once a week or so. I always put a small serving of it on their plates. If it's made of ingredients they like (but just prepared in a new way) I make them try it. If it has entirely new ingredients, I say, "you don't have to taste it, just keep it on your plate."
That way, they smell it--they can touch it--lick it. Whatever. I don't care. I just want them to be exposed to it.
If it's a dish I plan on making again, I will make them try it the next time.
When they complain about what I'm serving I say, "Every night I make something it is NOT someone's favorite. Tonight is your night. Tomorrow it will be someone else."
And then we move on and eat dinner.
The end.
Jenifer says
I LOVE your comment about it not being their favorite! I'm gonna have to explain that to my kids as well!
Pam@behealthybehappywellness says
This drives me crazy. My kids will of course eat typical kids meal options, but they are also willing to eat most other foods too. So often I'll get comments on how well they eat (meaning some veggies other than fries). However, I really think the only thing I've done differently is to serve them whatever we eat - they don't have to eat it all, just try a bite. Through the years, they have come to like most foods due to consistent exposure. I also avoid the kids meals when I can and we order 2 or 3 meals as a family to share. Now that they are older, we talk about healthy food choices versus unhealthy - they totally get it!
Here is a recent post I did on how to help your kids eat healthier: http://behealthybehappywellness.com/healthy-eating-can-be-easy/
CE says
I LOVE this post! I have been known to rant about the content of kids menus frequently since paying more attention to what we eat. It angers me that restaurants don't serve vegetables (or at least fruits) to kids automatically. It feels like they are "conspiring" against parents who want their children to eat healthfully. As for our household, we have 2 fairly decent eaters, but they do love their carbs and each of our girls has a few foods she just doesn't like. I still offer them regularly to see if their tastes have changed with mixed results. I think it's important to offer kids "adult" food most of the time. I haven't read in detail about it, but I think the French are good about generally offering their children less junk food. I wonder if Italians are the same since they also have a rich food culture. I imagine any place with its own cuisine is likely to fare better than our Melting Pot.
Marie says
I live in France. The French kids are loaded up with sugar. They start the day with nutella, followed by a school lunch that, while healthier, still includes sugared fruit and the kids don't gobble everything up. Next, is the sugar and chocolate filled after-school snack. Dinner may be healthier, but the fruit will again be loaded with sugar, and on many occasions I've heard parents point to potatoes and tell their kids to eat their vegetables. The only reason they don't have an obesity crisis is that the kids spend a few hours at the playground every day.
The other day, we took a picnic to the park. I took carrots, celery, apples, cheese, and whole wheat crackers. Most other picnics consisted of McDonalds...and my favorite was two bags of potato chips, a package of cookies and a 2-liter bottle of coke. To be fair, the parents had sandwiches from a bakery, it was only the kids eating the junk.
This shocks me, especially after living here as an adult without children because the local diet, in general, is much healthier (although anorexia is prevalent as well because French women may not get fat but they aren't naturally THAT skinny either). I'm not sure how it reconciles from child to adult or if this is a new trend.
Michelle Majak Johnson says
There are definately so many reasons for picky eaters. Battle of the wills is definately one and the other is not offering it to your child on a regular basis. I have a 2.5 year old son and I also take care of a 3.5 year old little girl. My son eats most everything and I even have to bribe him with fruit and veggies to get him to eat things like pizza. One of his favorite meals is east indian food, butter chicken and curry! I have offered flavored food since the beginning..always putting spices in my baby food and not shying away from flavor and so far it has paid off. He dislikes beef however because of the texture..so I know for a lot of kids the texture thing can be a big problem. As far the little girl I watch, she is incredibly picky and does not eat fruits, veggies, dairy and many other items. I realized that its because at home she is never offered it at all! They just assume that she tried it once and didnt like it so they dont try again. Her mom is always shocked when I tell her that she ate veggies at my house or had homemade pureed soup made with at least 5 different veggies. There are ways of hiding foods! Also have tried a fun little way of offering the "good" food only on the plate first (usually a bite or two) and in order to "unlock" the food that they want they have to finish the first food and if they don't they can leave the table. This comes from the premise that it becomes a game and no child will starve themselves! So each meal keep trying that until they "try" a bite..etc etc. However this doesnt pay off for me because I dont have her fulltime and once her mom picks her up she goes home and is allowed to eat whatever she wants. I have seen it affect her health in many ways!! Like constipation, UTI's, bags under her eyes, low energy, etc etc. Its sad to see. Just my experience I guess!!
Adrienne says
My kids are very good eaters and I think one main reason is that when I cook dinner, that's the meal. I don't cook separate dinners for them. I also make several things - at least 2 veggies so that they have something to choose from - if they don't like one, they will probably like the other, or at least taste it. Most kids, if hungry, will eat. I think many of the menu issues stem from not giving kids enough credit. School lunches, fast food restaurants, even "regular" restaurants assume kids will not eat other kinds of food so it isn't even an option. Many kids will give foods a try if they are given the opportunity but unfortunately, they aren't even offered that choice.
Danielle says
My children are 9 and 7 and have always eaten a pretty consistent real food diet. My son who is 9 has always been a stellar eater and rarely dislikes anything. When he was just a toddler I was emptying my organic produce box and he saw a plum tomato and grabbed it saying apple and took a nice big bite, he was a little shocked that it wasn't what he expected but loved it anyway. My 7 year old daughter on the other hand has not been as easy to feed, at one point she wouldn't eat anything red! With constant exposure and the rule that they have to take 2 bites of every new food, she has become a great eater. I think for her she had to grow out of it, but to this day she can't stand the smell or texture of bananas and swears they have no flavor. She will however eat banana bread and things like that.
Susan Bewley says
The biggest thing that people need to remember is that most of a child's taste buds aren't completely developed until they are about ten or twelve. Up to that point they are mostly interested in the texture of food. This is also why foods people hate as kids are foods they love as adults. As well, adults start losing some of their taste buds as they get older, causing them to go for more bland foods.
I find kids being picky eaters as a very odd thing. Growing up, we were all willing to try new things and junk food was the things we refused to eat, making going out a chore. Kids will also be more interested in eating what they see and are exposed too. if parents are eating healthy foods, kids will want healthy foods.
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Christine says
I was afraid of having my son stuck with those awful choices, so I've made sure to expose him to all kinds of healthy foods, and to expose him to those he may initially refuse more than once. I feel like kids gravitate toward the junk because that's what parents give them and/or think they'll like. Or some give up after one try and the kid spitting out a new food. A lot of it also has to do with parents' poor eating habits. Then of course there are the kids that have the sensory issues, so nobody is really to blame there. There are quite a few different variables.
I'm lucky to have had a son born with a good appetite. It always seemed like my milk was just barely enough. I also let him do baby-led solids, so he got to explore healthy foods as they are -- not the bland pureed versions that is the norm these days. There are only a couple of foods he doesn't like, and he rarely gets the stuff off the kid's menu when we eat out. If he does, it's something like grilled chicken and veggies.
Megan says
I've enjoyed reading a lot of the comments. I have to say there seem to be several different conversations going on. There are a lot of different reasons behind picky eating - sensory issues, stubbornness, lack of exposure etc. I think this article is aimed more at the under exposure crowd than those struggling with sensory issues. My oldest 2 are pretty above average eaters but it is a struggle to keep them on a healthy path. I'm thwarted at every turn - school, grandparents etc. My youngest has always been picky. Had a hard time transitioning to solid food because he just wouldn't eat it. What could I do? I try to be patient and continue to offer the same meal to our whole family but I admit giving him things I know he will like (yogurt, pasta, cereal and milk, nuts, pineapple etc.). After a while it wears me out! All that to say if someone is doing there best and being conscious about providing choices that aren't just kid menu favorites then bravo! If your kid begs for arugula and brussel sprouts - fantastic! If you day after day provide healthy foods to your picky get and deal with their panic and groans - bless you. I think it is a combination of personality and exposure (outside of severe sensory issues). I'd love to see some reform in kids menus to offer better choices. We can leave the hot dogs and quesadillas but add some better rounded options too!
Alison says
I know some kids are just pickier than others. I have three kids. Two of them will try anything and everything. The third is picky and gags easily. But I have found you cannot give up and cannot give in. Here are some of our rules that have worked for our family...
1. only cook one meal
2. everyone must try one bite of everything
3. always have at least one thing that you know they like
4. very small snacks in between meals
5. no treats/desserts if meals are not finished
I guess I follow view that "kids won't starve" and "if they get hungry enough they will eat it."
Andie says
My little, 2 years, will actually not eat her food when we order something from the kids menu. She doesn't like that she is not getting what the grown ups eat. This is true in any situation. She doesn't like being singled out and will eat artichokes, beets, turnips, olives, etc. as long as we are eating and enjoying it. However, if daddy pushes something around his plate and opts to not eat it, Aubrey usually does the same.
Heather says
I grew up in rural Kansas and really ate a limited diet.
In college I got exposed to so many different foods and then moving to the Central Coast of California my whole was opened even more.
I eat a fairly whole diet, and I started my daughter on that kind of diet from the get-go.
Now at 3, my daughter is a great eater and LOVES fruits and veggies. I found that starting her eating those foods from the beginning helped. The reason I wanted to be sure to give her good food from the start is that I know how difficult it is to change your taste buds. I have noticed, however, that I have difficulty eating greasey food or less healthy options that I once did. Most healthy food doesn't taste all that great when compared to processed food that is packed with salt and sugar.
One of my daughter's favorite food is quinoa. She eats it plain in her lunch at school.
She also loves spicy food and other foods that most people don't like. She loves eating slices of avocado, kalamata olives and raw onions.
When I cook I give her (and my roommate's daughter we does eat a lot of processed food and is a picky eater) tastes of food as I cook so they can taste what the food (usually veggies) tastes like raw so they can compare it to how it tastes cooked. And so they know what they like and don't like.
I think it's partially that, but also what little pressure I put on food. I offer my daughter food and ask her to taste it. I say, "You don't have to eat it, just taste it and then you can decide if you want it now or not." Sometimes she likes it but doesn't want it then and other times she doesn't like it, but I'll give her another taste later on because sometimes she doesn't like something the first time (or the first several) or just doesn't like it at a certain time.
I also try to reserve giving my daughter judgement on whether or not she'll like a food, so she can tell me what she thinks.
It's difficult, especially for those of us who don't eat all the healthy (I've been getting much better).
I only make one meal and won't do special orders (usually). My roommate's daughter doesn't always like what I serve, but has been getting better at trying the food and even likes some of it.
I've also found that outside influences play a lot into it. My daughter will love something until someone else says, "I don't like that" even if that person hasn't tried it. Then she'll say "eww....I don't like it" even when she does.
Because so many of her friends (including my roommate's daughter) eat things I wouldn't give her, I try to give her a healthier version so she can still have it, but not really.
Jes says
For some kids it's not simply not offering.
My 4 year old has a limited palate, though not from lack of offering. He had many food allergies his first year (the kid reacted to rice), this limited what he could eat. He's been outgrowing these allergies and now only has to avoid peanuts/tree nuts. In addition he has sensory issues that further limit what he's willing to eat. He'll only consent to eating certain textures.
We've involved him in the growing, shopping, preparing, choosing of foods with no help. We have probably tried every trick in the book, still no luck. Our doctor suggests eating therapy but of course insurance doesn't cover such things so we can't get it.
My youngest had foods introduced the same way, no food allergies and no other issues. He eats nearly everything put in front of him (he hates lettuce but otherwise will eat anything).
Madeline says
I have a 9-year-old step-daughter and it's amazing to see her open up to new foods the more I know her. We introduce her to different foods -- but more importantly -- we involve her in it. Not to say that pickiness is cured by opportunity, but it certainly helps.
Two years ago she almost cried when we tried to get her to try grits. Just grits. But the rules in the house are 1) you have to try it once, then you don't have to eat it again, 2) If you had never tried mac n cheese you'd never know it was your favorite food, and 3) Your taste buds change all the time so if you haven't had in awhile just try it. That generally gets her to try something. After some huffing, she tried the grits, loves them, and now wants them almost every morning. Also, 9 out of 10 times we tell her "you'll really like this" she does, so she has starting trusting our suggestions.
We go to the farmer's market as a family which has really helped. Just this past Saturday I saw peas were fresh and wanted to get some for her father and myself. She has had them from the frozen bag before -- tried them -- and didn't like them. Once she saw "ohh this is where peas come from??" and helped me get them out of the pod, she loves them. She's more likely to try food that she helps me pick out or cook.
As for restaurants, we avoid the 'kids menus.' There are just a few restaurants where we know the chicken tenders come with a side of fruit or veggies, but usually she will order off the regular menu (and dad finishes what she couldn't). She'll eat off our plates as well where she can try new foods. She thought she hated crab, fish, etc but after trying off our plates she's always asking to go to "that place with the good crabcakes."
One other thing-- when she younger she had the same aversion to food that just looked different. If I pre-peppered veggies she thought they were funny looking and smelled bad. I stopped pre-anythinging to the food and she would watch her father and I put pepper or sauce on the food and we'd suggest it to her- then if she did it herself it wasn't weird or different.
Again, I think it all comes down to involving the children. If they see the food being cooked it's not some strange thing on the plate- it's food.
Tracey says
Hi Lisa,
You came to Rea View Elementary a while back. This week, I have tried both blueberry and banana walnut whole wheat muffins. Wow! They are delicious and my five year old son LOVES them. Even my 70 year old mother in law (who lives with us) liked the banana walnut (and she usually only likes soul southern cooking and doesn't try new things often). It is interesting that they can be so tasty without one ounce of sugar (honey is natural). We are freezing the leftovers and now, Michael is ready to make more. Thanks for the recipe!
Justin says
This subject has interested me for quite awhile. And as a new parent of an infant who's just started solids, I'm even more adament about developing my kid's palate.
I do think there is such a thing as a picky eater, but like a lot of things (like oh, ADD), people are too quick to blame that as the root of the problem when it probably stems from something else. In most cases, I think it stems from a combination of four things:
1) Assumptions (as you pointed out). We "assume" kids will only like bland food because that's what the food manufacturers, restaurants, and "other people" tell us. And once our kids are trained that way, many just go along with it as a fact of life--to the point of playing short-order chef. I once watched a woman walk into Panera with a kid who was toting a McD's bag. The kid sat-down and ate his Chicken McNugget happy meal while Mom went up and got her turkey sandwich or soup and salad (let's forget for a moment that Panera is quite processed and focus on the fact that a sandwich is relatively healthier than McNuggets).
2) Manufacturers. If you've never tasted baby food, it's worth spending a couple bucks on some jars or boxes. Don't go for the bananas...anyone can make sweet foods taste yummy. Try the "dinners". They're bland, watery, and more or less all taste like sand. If you look at the ingredients list, it's no surprise why. The first ingredient is water, the second is usually the protein, and the third is usually a starch flour representing "rice" or "pasta" in the dish...but it's just flour. The food is so watery thin that it doesn't even come close to offering textural sensation.
Think you're going to make your own baby food? I went through dozens of baby cookbooks, and you know what? All but two of them recommended pairing something sweet or something blad with everything so the baby would accept it. Sounds like a surefire way to a lifelong sweet tooth.
3) Extreme allergy fears. Read anything about child rearing or infant nutrition and people are absolutely scared about allergies these days. The odd part is that something like less than 3% of children have food allergies (according to the CDC). Anyway, only the blandest, most neutral, allergan-free foods are recommended as "first foods" and most "allergan" foods are held-off until after a year old. You're encouraged to wait upwards of a week in-between introducing new foods to "watch for signs of allergies" and most kids end-up only having tried a small number of foods by 12 months old for this reason. Research has shown that introducing a variety of foods more frequently and continuing to try rejected foods is what develops a varied palate (There was something recent about French kids vs. American kids in this arena). How do you expect a kid to like anything tasty if he's been eating plain rice cereal 3 meals a day for 6 months?
4) Training and leading by example. I know a person who made it a point of offering her kids more flavorful infant food. Once they started eating table food, their favorite things were items like pesto. What 1 year old do you know who scarfs down anything with spicy pesto on it? They never knew the concept of bland, so the idea of something tasty wasn't foreign to them. I know another person who's kids ask for extra helpings of veggies over sweets and their favorite food in the world is smoked salmon. They're not freaks of nature. She simply has always offered them differen things to try and kept offering those foods again and again to make sure preferences haven't changed. Even if you don't like something yourself, you should offer it to your kid and not say, "You won't like this...it's yucky."
I'm really looking forward to letting my own daughter try as much as I can. She already eats a wider variety than most other kids her age (she's 6 months) and it's simply because I go out of my way to puree unique foods that you can't find in baby food jars (mango, blueberries, papaya, various green veggies). Sure, she didn't like asparagus on the first try. But she tried it and she'll get to try it again and will probably eventually like it.
Amy says
Just a quick comment on the first foods & allergies. I followed Dr. Sear's food intro interval suggestions for my son, who's now 3 (i.e. what veg, fruit etc. to introduce what month). For my daughter, now 16 mo, I was planning to do the same thing. But, she had 8 teeth by six months & independant thinker that she is, wanted whatever we were eating for dinner. I was concerned about the allergin issue, but my pediatrician actually told me a recent study showed that it didn't matter what age your child is introduced to foods - if they're going to be allergic to something, they'll be allergic to it - period. Age of introduction doesn't matter. So, I didn't feel so anxious about what she ate. However, as a parent, you decide what's best for your baby (and it doesn't always have to be what the dr says! :-)
Shari says
Great post! Hindsight is 20/20 right? I have a 10 year old daughter we fed 'kid' foods for the first several years of her life(nuggets, mac and cheese, grilled cheese, etc.) Over the last 2 - 3 years I have been changing our diet to more whole foods and very little processed foods. I also have a 7 year old son (adopted at 15 months). It has been really hard for my daughter to make this transition. She doesn't like food that is mixed together, she has a strong preference for starchy and sweet foods, and eats vegetables that are also starchy (corn, peas, sweet potatoes). She is also very resistant to trying new foods. Sometimes I think she does have an issue with texture, sometimes I think she's being rebellious (there goes mom trying some new healthy food), and sometimes maybe just personal taste. It continues to be a very frustrating battle. My son on the other hand will try just about anything and will eat just about anything. From a very early age he was living with various families and probably was exposed to a more varied diet. So, I think there could be multiple factors that play into the 'picky eater'. I think consistency and perseverance will be the key. And hopefully I am planting the seeds so that when she is away from home that she will make healthier choices.
Linda says
When my daughter started on solids I started with veggies and meats and waited a LONG time to introduce fruits. I figured if she started with the sweet stuff, why would she want anything else.
It worked for a long time; she'd eat all my kalamata olives, tomatoes and feta out of a greek salad, I'd mix together steamed mashed broccoli, brown rice and cheese, and she loved the naked truth brand green machine juice (we called it dinosaur juice).
I long for those days now. At thirteen she picks at her food, unless it's lasagna. I finally made her a deal. I prepared, portioned and froze a pan of lasagna with meat with pureed carrots and spinach in the sauce, so if I am making something for dinner she doesn't like, she can heat up a square and add a small salad.
I finally know what my friends went through with their little ones, and it is a bummer.
Lesley says
Yes! Restaurants should be ashamed of what they offer for kids. Hot Dog/hamburger/chicken nuggets/mac & cheese/grilled cheese. Why is this at every restaurant! Michelle Obama should direct some of her efforts towards this. Why not just offer the same menu but a kid size portion at a fixed price for the little ones. I would go to a restaurant like that in a heartbeat!
I am lucky though in my 22 month old loves everything and has since he began solid foods. I have a hard time understanding the picky eaters (except for allergies and the severe sensors as mentioned above) I am one of those that believes most picky eaters are a result of not being forced to try enough variety. I geuss I am considered one of the mean moms. Growing up my dad chose what we ate. One meal was made and if we didn't like it we didn't have to eat it but we could not make something else. If we were stubborn we didn't eat and if we were hungry we ate. We never starved and to this day all of my siblings and I love trying new things. We also were lucky that our mom made most of our meals and did not serve us many processed foods. I strive so hard to be like my mom in so many ways and cooking great food....well I am getting better. I recently found a note I wrote to my mom when I was younger apologizing for not eating a TV dinner for the baby sitter b/c it was so gross. "Even the brownie was gross. Everything was 100% grosser than your food. I can't wait to have your yummy food tomorrow" Yes making stuff from scratch can take a bit more time but only until you get used to it and it isn't always more expensive. I can't even eat canned soup or pasta sauce any more. When I make sauce or soup I make big batches and freeze it. And I always have a few go to recipes. If I buy a 7+ pound chicken I can usually get 3 dinners out of it.
RevAllyson says
We have six year old boy-girl twins. They're both pretty adventurous, I'd say, although the boy is pickier than his sister. He's autistic, and sometimes the flavor, look, or texture of something will set him off. His sister will literally try *anything* and even goes back to try things she knows she doesn't like a few times a year, to see if her tastes have changed.
The kids generally get what we get, although I make some exceptions. I recently discovered why the girl dislikes beef - we eat it rare, and she prefers it well done. It was an accidental but happy discovery, and has made steak nights much more pleasant. We'll tone down spicy dishes for the kids (and me, I'm not a big spice person) as their little taste buds aren't happy with the really hot stuff. Generally I'll add hot sauce at the end, but pull the kids' meals out before I do it, so they get what we get but without the added heat.
We have a restaurant within walking distance of our new home and they serve whatever is on the adult menu to the kids, as well as a kids menu that contains healthy versions of the "old standards" (for instance, they serve buffalo burgers prepared in-house on whole grain buns with sweet potato "fries"). But if one of ours wants a kid sized duck with pomegranate reduction (yes, this was a popular option lol) then they'll make it. Smaller price, smaller portion, same food. They also make a "backpacker's meal" which the kids LOVE - finger foods like sliced local cheeses and meats, local smoked salmon, fresh baked whole grain buns, butter they make in-house, little bits of salad with cherry tomatoes and cucumber slices. It changes every time we go, because it depends on what's available. :)
Stephanie says
Sounds like my kind of place! Would love to know the name of it?
Stephanie says
Everyone (in my extended family) thinks my 3 year old son is picky, but I don't think he's so bad. The reason people think he's picky is b/c when we eat with the whole family, he never wants what's served, just crackers. And i let him have crackers in the effort to keep him seated and the meal peaceful. But truthfully he eats a good diet, but just doesn't eat that much in general (quantity wise). His tastes are limited, but they're slowly growing. At home he loves homemade bread, apples, cheese, carrots, boiled eggs, plain yogurt, most kind of nuts, PB&J sandwiches, most fruits, etc. He's pretty resistant to veggies and meat, but he'll usually take a bite of two of veggies at dinner when coerced and he gets lots of greens in the smoothies that he loves. I'm not too worried about his dislike of meat, I don't like it much either.
I think he eats a pretty healthy diet, so I find it a little frustrating when my family acts like he just doesn't eat anything.
Erik says
We just came back from a wedding where we had to stay with some friends, who have a 4 month old and a 16 month old. Also staying in the same house was a good friend of ours who currently lived in France with his wife and their 2 year old and 5 year old.
This was a hot topic of discussion among the guys (!). The consensus was that it's part general culture, part parental expectations, part convenience and exhaustion, and part cooking ability.
For the general culture, there is a TON of imagery around telling kids that they like certain foods and that they don't like others. That's before parents are even involved. Generations ago this factor (TV advertising and such) didn't exist. The second part of general culture is the prevalence of kids menus and the acceptance of such when dining out. These cultural norms (and food advertising regulations, especially those aimed at kids) are very different in France. Also, in France, you would NEVER make a separate meal for your kids or order one outside the home (according to my friend). In France all kids of all ages get real meals at lunch in school (fresh vegetables, a small portion of meat, and something like rice). They are not exposed to chicken nuggets or pizza at school at all.
The parents' expectations are also important. Even if a parent is trying to feed their kids varied foods, sometimes, even unintentionally, they signal to their children that they don't expect them to like it. Also, in general, kids need multiple exposures to any food before they don't dislike it, and some parents won't try things even a second time... so that adds to the expectation problem ("oh, you don't like peas.").
The convenience / exhaustion part is obvious. The mass market is built for industrial food and the advertising feeds it and it's easier just to go with the flow.
Cooking ability is the smallest part of it, but you need to be able to prepare, flavor, and even present / plate foods well for kids to get them to be really eager eaters. My friend in France was telling us how involved he is in involving his kids in cooking with him, and that it really helped.
All in all it was an interesting conversation on how to avoid accidentally coaching your kids into becoming picky eaters and how that is supported in France but the opposite here, and how France is much more like what things were like a few generations ago.
100 Days of Real Food says
Wow, I wish I could have been part of that conversation! I think you have a good point with the outside influences (i.e. advertising) that wasn't as prevalent decades ago or even now in some countries. My cousin and his family are moving to France this summer for a couple years, and I am even getting more excited about visiting them and learning about their experience!
Jennifer says
Not even just adds. I hate letting my kids watch TV, but occasionally I do anyway, and it drives me up the wall when I overhear a cartoon stating that "{x} vegetable is good for you. you should like it, etc." It plants in their heads that they should not inherently like veggies. I don't have to fight that battle and I don't want some show to change that for me!
LessSugarNaturally says
I actually posted about this on my blog last week. http://www.lesssugarnaturally.com/getting-teenager-and-kids-to-eat-healthy/ (sorry, I'm not sure if it's okay to post a link, if not - if not please remove) Here's an excerpt that touches on the advertising:
"In 2007, the Kaiser Family Foundation released the largest study ever done on children and advertising. (pdf link here) The statistics are sobering.
- Tweens and Teens see 17-21 food ads per day. That’s 7600 food ads per year!
- 50% of all ads featured during children’s shows are for food.
- 34% of food ads were for candy and snacks, 29% for cereal, 10% for beverages, 10% for fast food.
- Nearly one in five food ads makes a health claim. 42% of all cereal ads include a health claim. The most frequent health claim in food ads is: “provides essential nutrientsâ€.
- Of the 8,854 food ads reviewed in the study, not one ad was for fruits or vegetables."
ebsquared says
I was raised on great food - my mother had a wheat grinder and she'd drive outside the city (LA) for an hour or more to get fresh eggs and meat. I was taught to eat food that I could tell where it came from and to cook using ingredients that were recognizable as food. I still haven't given up bread (I LOVE baking bread!) but I do make sourdough and am investigating soaking and sprouting.
Now, I have 3 children, the oldest having severe texture issues as well as growth issues which forced us when he was younger to give him whatever he would eat. However, his list of foods was fruit, yogurt, cheese and bread. Not so bad. We have slowly added vegetables (still no raw ones) and some meat and I'm very happy about this progress. His younger siblings are boy-girl twins who were fed pureed table food until they could eat the real thing. We have a rule that all food on the table must be tried (a large, mom- or dad-approved bite) but otherwise we don't insist. However, they don't get anything else until the next meal. My younger son will eat pretty much anything but my daughter can be randomly picky and frequently refuses to eat things that we know she likes. If she decides she's not eating, she knows she's going without food until the next meal - she's 3.5!
Regarding school lunches and the list of "kid" food above, I have written a letter of protest about the nutritional quality of the school lunches. We call it "yellow" lunch. Disgusting! A friend has started a school garden at another elementary school in our district and they are incorporating the produce (a little bit) into the lunches, sharing it with the families and donating the extra. I'd LOVE to start one at our school as well. Hopefully this will help improve things.
In restaurants, I've found that if you ask for grilled chicken or sometimes even baked fish instead of nuggets, very often, they will make the substitution for you. We also try to only go to restaurants that we know have fruit or real vegetable options (potatoes in any shape don't count!)
Tricia says
I haven'y had time to read all the comments but I do have a question. Do any of you have children with Asperger's? I have 5 children, ages 22 months- 16 yrs. Three of my kids eat super healthy 99% of the time. They love fruits, vegetables, water, etc. My 10 yr old, who has Asperger's, has a VERY limited diet. My 22-month old, to me, is also showing signs of Asperger's especially where his diet is concerned. Believe me- my children are not spoiled and I am always trying to give them healthy food. Any idea would be greatly appreciated!
100 Days of Real Food says
Tricia - Yes others have commented about this and Asperger's (as well as Autism) seem to play a role when it comes to food tolerances...you are not alone!
Sara says
My 2 girls are overall great eaters. My 3 yr old LOVES veggies, fruit, hummus, salsa and normally refuses dessert. While we have exposed her to all the above I am not one to refuse dessert. LOL. I feel it is both genetics and environment that influences the child. While hanging out with the neighbors, I brought out a veggie/fruit tray of cucumbers and cantelope. The 2 yr old boy devoured both and his Mom just sat there stunned. She doesn't eat fruit or veggies much and thus had never tried them with her son. Keep trying everyone! This week we all tried swiss chard from the farmer's market. It was a no-go even with my 3 yr old, but they were able to see Mommy thoroughly enjoy it :).
Christine says
I have triplets, so it's like a built-in social experiment in my house. They have all been exposed to the same foods at the same time, but with wildly different results. They are all girls, but not identical. They are 6. I have one child who loves food, gets excited about trying new things, asks if she can pick out some vegetables for herself every time we go to the grocery store, has brought home books from the school library about the food pyramid and is more aware than most kids (not to mention some adults) about what makes up a healthy diet. I have another child who will not eat a single fruit or vegetable (unless you count raisins and ketchup). The third girl is in between - I wish she would eat more vegetables but overall she eats a pretty good variety of things. My picky girl is exposed to all kinds of foods. I don't want to turn food into a huge control issue (she has enough of those already) so I don't ever make ultimatums about food, I just keep offering and hope some day she will grow out of it. We model good eating, and so do her sisters. She's offered everything we're serving. We praise the heck out of her every time she tries something new, even if she hates it so much she spits it out. She likes to help cook and she likes to help in the garden. I grew strawberries this year and was really hoping to get her to try one. Nope. With some kids I really do think they just are born picky. I was actually a picky eater as a kid (not as picky as her, but close) and only in the past year started liking broccoli so while I don't think she's going to start asking for green beans any time soon maybe someday she will have a more varied diet.
Leslie says
My son has always been willing to try new foods. Some things he has had to try multiple times (as I found better ways to fix!), while others he liked right out. I tell him he has to take one bite of everything. When he was younger (he's 12), I would just tell him matter of factly "no dessert til you try everything." I know using treats as a way to get him to try is debatable, but he has a varied palate now - more so than I had at his age!
We have friends who have picky eaters. I see a combination - parents don't continually try to get the picky eaters to try new foods and the picky eaters thus don't have an incentive to try.
Megan says
Coming off a long flight and in need of a quick meal due to more travel ahead, I was shocked when my 15-month-old rejected chicken nuggets (he'd never had them before). I thought all kids liked "kid food" even though (or maybe because) it's not healthy with all the added sugar and fat. As the mom of a toddler, the changing tastes and preferences can get annoying, but it's always been true that in any eating situation, he will go for the fresh fruit or veggies over anything else. I wonder if we as humans are probably naturally wired to eat good, whole foods in their purest state -- and generally they taste better that way. Still, I worry that I'm limiting my son's tastes because I always fall back on fruits and veggies when he won't eat anything else. I know he's getting good nutrition, but I don't want him to grow up a picky eater.
Jennifer says
As I read the comments I cant help but smile, ok maybe giggle a little. We all have experiences and thoughts that are shaped by our situations. In reality I think there are many different reasons children are picky, some being what they are offered, some because they have many options, some just the childs personality. All though I am not an expert in this area I can say that having 5 children has opened my eyes to this, only because I have enough to compare. My first 4 would eat what they were given, it was only when # 5 came along that the problems began. Stubborn and strong willed from the start she has always had her likes and dislikes (mostly dislikes). She has always preferred sweet things, could care less about bread, pasta or rice. Meat so so as long as it isnt in a casserole or with sauce, wont eat most veggies cooked except peas and loves salad. For a while now (she is 5) she would eat only her salad for dinner. Of course she wore me down eventually, we were also homeschooling and that in itself is time consuming! I began to offer other choices so she wouldnt become sick or dare I say it, starve, none of the others were like this so what was a mom to do??? We are still in the thick of it and I have noticed that because we offer her options, it has given the other children "the right" or so they feel to proclaim what they do not want. In the end for us perseverence is what we need to work on and maybe a little creativity!
AJG says
I have not read the book about French kids and their eating choices that has been repeatedly mentioned in the comments above, but I can tell you my experience with a 2 and 4 year old while vacationing in France for 2 weeks... they didn't really have children's menus there... the children had the same menu choices as all other family members. I don't know if my son and daughter would be eating better than they do now had they been born in France rather than America, but it was interesting... and as far as why French women can eat what they want and still stay skinny... well that too was obvious about 3 days into our trip... everything they eat over there, even things purchased at a food stand in Paris, is fresh made! They don't consume the tons of chemicals we Americans do daily... and it shows. Thanks for a great and informative blog!