by: Jason Leake
Hello good people! After almost two years of editing every single post that has appeared on this blog, Lisa asked me to share my perspective on real food with you. My name is Jason, and I am Lisa’s husband. I was exposed to real food early on – my parents were hippies in Oregon after all – but honestly by the time I got to high school I was eating a pretty typical American diet and had certainly fallen prey to the ‘conventional wisdom’ on healthy food. Point being that two years ago, before we started our real food education and subsequent journey, I was probably not much different from you and your family. Lisa shared some great feedback from the facebook page on what you actually wanted to hear from me, so here are some answers to the most common questions.
1) How do I change my husband’s eating habits without constantly nagging and lecturing him?
This question assumes you have made the decision to eat real food, but are having difficulty getting your spouse and/or family on board. For the ladies out there I’ll try to fill you in from my perspective as a man. Personally I am very open minded but also extremely skeptical. I think for myself. I’m not going to do anything just because someone tells me to. And keep in mind for anyone to decide to make a change, the perceived benefit must outweigh the difficulty associated with change. So don’t expect instant, blind devotion, but rather focus on steps you can take in the right direction together. Here is how I recommend you introduce real food to your household.
- Approach your husband about why you want to explore making changes to your family’s diet. As the ‘man of the house’ I feel the instinctive responsibility to provide for and protect my family, and this means sticking around for as long as possible. There are many health benefits of cutting out processed food so you can certainly tap into that sentiment to get an agreement to do some joint research, which is the next step.
- Watch “Food, Inc.” together. Then have your husband read/listen to “In Defense of Food” by Michael Pollan. This can be done during the daily commute if you get a CD or mp3 version.
- Take the 10 day pledge together with the understanding that this is to gain perspective and that this is only for 10 days. If you get pushback, ask what could it possibly hurt? Later you will choose (together) what long term changes you want to make and when. Obviously you want to make the pledge go as smoothly as possible, so be sure to plan accordingly. I highly recommend using one of Lisa’s free meal plans and that you replace any junk food in your house with convenient real food.
- After the pledge, talk about some changes you can both agree to make. Changes can be gradual…it’s not all or nothing. Gain the ground you can without pushing. Be patient.
- Over time the palate changes and the concept of real food becomes more familiar to everyone. Your spouse/family should (hopefully) start to get it. The change in palate can take as little as one month. As a result of our change in diet, I now have waaaaay less desire to eat meat, salt, and sugar. I actually enjoy the taste of each ingredient, as it is. It really is a simple pleasure that is so accessible to us all.
- Keep in mind most men don’t like the thought of “wasting” money. You may get initial backlash about the costs associated with eating local and organic food. I hate to say it, but you can pay now or pay later with increased health care costs. I’d rather increase my odds at avoiding all that future cost, not to mention the heartache, pain, suffering, and inconvenience that come along with it. You can share our “100 Days of Real Food on a Budget” experience to show that it can be done and to get some tips on how to keep costs down.
2) How do you handle eating ‘real food’ around other men? Do they make fun of you?
I’m not too hung up on what other people think about me, so this is really not an issue for me. That being said, I certainly don’t draw attention to my eating habits or preach to others. Some people joke around when my eating preferences come up, but never in a spiteful way. A more common reaction is for people to simply misunderstand what my “needs” are and to make unhelpful suggestions. In a social situation if the topic comes up I briefly explain that we try not to eat processed food or processed ingredients. We eat real food, which is quite different than the mainstream opinion of “healthy food”. I pretty much leave it at that. So I try to make the best choices possible without offending anyone (if I’m at someone’s house, for example, I eat what is offered), and remember that most things in moderation are fine.
3) Do you feel like you get to eat enough food? Do you miss anything?
I have to laugh out loud every time someone asks this question. NO, I never go hungry. Quite the contrary…I eat less then I used to and don’t experience the typical high and low energy swings. No, I don’t miss anything. I will share that since my palate has changed I no longer find pleasure in eating at most chain restaurants. So while you would think I would miss a buffalo chicken sandwich from Chili’s, I’m actually just displeased that my selection of desirable places to eat has shrunk.
4) How can you eat real food while traveling? How about eating out at work?
I’m not going to lie…this is a tough one. I am in sales and had a five state territory when we were doing our original 100 days of real food pledge. There were no exceptions to breaking our real food “rules” during that time period. Nada. I’d bring food with me like fruit, trail mix, and homemade granola, but obviously I had to eat out as well. Since I was usually short on time to research dinner wherever I happened to be on a given day, I created a mental list of common chain restaurants that had at least one or two acceptable options. For example, at Carrabba’s you can get grilled salmon, whole wheat pasta, and vegetables. Or I’d phone sushi restaurants and find those serving brown rice. Occasionally I would go to a grocery store and buy a bunch of fruit, nuts, olives, whole wheat crackers, and cheese and simply eat that for my meal. But in the real world, as in when you are not on a strict “real food” pledge, you simply make the best choices you can. As far as eating out at work goes, well, I bring my lunch a lot. Cooking large batches of food (like soup) and freezing individual servings makes it easy to grab and go. I research local restaurants and when eating with others I am quick to suggest the choices that fit my needs. If my suggestions aren’t agreeable to the group then I roll with it and just order the best thing I can.
In the end you have to convey to your spouse that eating real food is something you care about deeply. Get buy-in to at least try it out with an open mind. After all, real food is not a fad, but rather truth and simplicity. While I don’t plan on being a frequent contributor to the blog, I certainly welcome any feedback or other questions you may have. And props to you for thinking for yourself!
Some Helpful Resources:
- Convincing a reluctant spouse (to eat real food)!
- How to eat whole foods at chain restaurants
- Tips for Trips: Real food while traveling
Please allow my 2cent opinion for the “Husband” side of the scoreboard. =) One of my wife’s girlfriends recently loaned her a copy of “Eat Right For Your Type” by Dr. Peter J. D’Adamo. I picked it up one day and started reading it and became fascinated to find out how our bodies react to different foods and food ingredients.I think I am the one that decided that we needed to make some changes.We have started out gradual by focusing on the “beneficial, neutral and avoid” foods.Realizing quickly that some of the things we were eating were actually working against us. Quite skeptical at first,I actually began to feel better physically. The trips to the market have become like a treasure hunt for both of us as we look for new foods to try that are better and more nutritious. 100 Days of Real Food is also part of our plan. Keep up the good work!
Thanks for this post. My husband agrees with the ‘real food’ plan on paper, but often resists new foods and recipes I introduce. It’s been a game of small changes and trials, but overall our eating is getting healthier. Now if I could just get him to give up the breakfast cereal.
It was “Food Inc” and “In Defense of Food” that totally changed my thinking! I cut out processed foods (well, most of them) a year or so ago, and actually lost weight and feel better. Of course, I love to cook, so it’s easier, but I also work full time. I try to make things on the weekends that I can take to lunch during the week – soup, pot roast, roast chicken, etc. Thanks for this and other posts on this website
Such a wonderful post & awesome to read Jason’s take on the great benefits to eating a real food diet
Thank you for a man’s perspective. It has been a little difficult getting my husband on board, but I realize change must come from within and I need to allow him to decide on his own if this is what he wants to do. I have started making healthier meals for the family, more real food (ALOT) less processed food. I think he will eventually come around once he sees that it is not that difficult.
My husband is on board for the most part and the majority of what we eat is real already. However, he is not a very large man (5’8″ and 145lbs) he is worried that the switch will cause him to lose weight. He has a hard time staying above 140lbs and the idea of losing any weight really freaks hom out. Any thoughts/suggestions?
Hi Lisa,
Thanks for your question. I am not too far off in size from your husband at 5′ 8″, 155 lbs. I did lose about 5 lbs when we made the switch to real food, but I personally find my weight correlates more strongly with how much I exercise than how much or what I am eating. That being said we’ve heard from many of our readers that were overweight and/or who ate a highly processed diet and did lose a fair amount of weight when switching to real food. Given that your husband already eats a lot of real food and is not overweight, I don’t think he should be concerned. If he starts to drop weight he could always eat more or increase the ratio of energy dense foods like granola. Many people find they have to do this when training for races and their body and metabolism start changing. Everyone’s body is different but I’m sure he can find his groove while eating real food!
Best Regards,
Jason Leake
I had a weight loss and my RD suggested 5cc of Walnut Oil twice a day for a caloric punch.
Loved your perspective, please post again soon.
It’s interesting to read about real food from a man’s perspective. Thanks for sharing your insights Jason. BTW link to “Take the 10 day pledge” doesn’t work (the right link is in the menu above the post). It motivated me to try this challenge. I already eat quite healthy, but it’s always a good idea to improve your eating habits even more. I’m curious about the change in palate!
I have tried it all. Nagging, sneaking “healthy” food into some of my Hubby’s favorites. I have hidden his snacks from him and rationed him..All epic failures. When I met hubby 6 years ago his only source of daily veggies was the lettuce and tomato on his double cheeseburger (daily!) and he honestly thought apple pie was healthy because it had apples in it! I have spent the better part of 6 months reading him articles about the danger in processed foods..and just generally giving him information without cramming it down him. I will admit the “pink slime” realization hit him hard and he was much more apt to know more about healthy eating. We switched to mostly organic and cut out all processed foods and sugar about 2-3 weeks ago and on Easter we invited one of his friends to Easter Dinner. I could not believe what I heard. He was explaining to his friend why we were not eating processed foods anymore and just how much better he was feeling without all the junk. He even mentioned food dyes! He does listen! and I couldn’t have been more proud of him! Keep working on it ladies…there is hope! BTW my Hubby is 60 years old and WAS set in his ways!
I just found this today… thanks so much for the husband’s perspective! We have been gradually transitioning to real foods, and while we have cut out so many processed and chemically altered foods, there are a few things that have been difficult to change because of the resistance from my house full of husband and teenage boys. It’s always nice to hear a different approach to try.
An exciting day at my house today…my husband had his revelation at the dinner table, saying that he thinks we should stick with ‘real food’!!!! This is after several weeks of me introducing more and more real food into our diet. I want to thank you for your incredible website, as it has given me so much information, ideas, inspiration, and hope to never give up! Thank you!
Just came across this site tonight through Pinterest. Have been thinking about cutting out processed foods (healthier and less expensive) and would like to ask a question and share an experience. Question: Hubby is a HUGE meat eater, and we normally eat deer, elk, moose, fish that we have caught ourselves, or pork that has been raised for us and butchered at a local meat cutting place. I know this is a good thing, but do I need to cut back on the times per week that we eat this type of meat or is this okay? I do purchase everything else at a somewhat local, “big box” store. Also, when I lived in NY, I was introduced to seltzer, which I believe people refer to as carbonated water. At one point, I decided to cut out soda (even diet soda) and drank strictly seltzer water or plain old water out of the tap……VOILA!!!! I lost weight! Imagine that!!! Even when I would only drink diet soda and once in a while seltzer, I would not loose the weight or the opposite, I would gain weight. HMMMMMM, What’s up with that??? LOL!!! So for me, diet soda did not help in my weight loss. Soda is not good for you….PERIOD!!!
Good for you on kicking the soda habit…you are right the “diet” and “low-fat” products are not the way to go at all! And wild game is a great choice when it comes to meat because they have lived in their natural environment and eaten their natural diet, but we do feel it’s best to only eat meat a couple times a week…this post explains it: http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2011/03/25/mini-pledge-week-3-meat/
Thanks for this! I just came across this site. This is genuinely helpful! I try to cook healthy “real” meals for my husband and I and what he eats when he’s out on his own is his responsibility and I can’t nag him about it (I was happy to hear that when he eats out he never has fast food though!).
My husband also has a hard time with spending the extra money on organic food. I gently remind him that in 3 years of marriage we have never been sick except for the occasional cold (usually picked up at my teaching job). We rarely go the doctor or spend money on medical care.
Jason, thank you for your insights! I have been doing exactly as you suggest – continuously discussing what we’d like to try and why. He’s fairly “on-board” but I do still scare him from time to time (wanted to try using dandelions and making a dandelion pesto. He’s still freaked out about that one.) (chuckle!) I asked him “how far can I go?” Well, the dandelions are still a point of contention, but he and I agreed that we would simply continue as we have started. We simply continue to add more whole foods, and still eat our favorites as we want them. This adding, without subtracting has helped me to ease our whole family of picky eaters along. We buy organic and I’m adding more and more fruits and veggies to every meal, but if we decide to go out and buy donuts, we still do that. To our shock though — we noticed the same thing you did about eating out! We didn’t realize how much we’d changed our eating habits, or that it had truly affected us! We went to Red Robin and came home sick! WHAT??? (not food poisoning, just a terrible feeling, bloated, head-achy, etc) Same thing happened with Mexican food, about a week later. We really didn’t think we were doing that much to change, but noticed that all our tiny changes had added up in a very shocking way! I realized today that I put whole organic carrots in everyone’s lunches and no one even blinked! (They hated the carrots. I’ve got kids who have bordered on a bit of extra weight, and bio mom feeds them junk food like it’s the last food in the world and they’re starving.) Maybe they just throw them out, but at least they don’t fight it anymore! Ha ha! My 2yr old – I started adding salad items to his plate, not really expecting much. One day we didn’t do so and he threw a fit! “WANT SALAD!” “Um, sure, I don’t mind throwing away a few leaves of lettuce etc, no big!” he ate it and demanded more! Ok then! Still need to tackle meatless meals, but that’s on the agenda. Currently working on making all our breads homemade. That’s a big enough task for now. Husband is NOT thrilled about the meatless meals idea, so I’ll have to work on that.
My biggest problem with making my husband agreeing with this life changing habit will be financial. Since I married him 7 years ago I’ve been trying to introduce brazilian eating habits into our lives and I could never get him to eat it. And at the supermarket I’ll always hear him say “we can’t afford real food” while grabbing boxes and boxes of mac n’ cheese and top ramen
Now I wonder can we make it on a tight budget?
Here are some real food on a budget tips: http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2011/09/30/real-food-tips-12-ways-to-keep-it-cheap/
Also it’s important to remember…spend more on food now and less on healthcare costs later (it’s true!)
Eat right or DIE !!!! Men of healthy eating, do you hear the call of the battle cry? Marching forward. This is a food war! Victory is ours. Drink lots of beer! Peace
I started cutting out HFCS almost a year ago; just making that one little switch made a BIG deal; I lost about 20 pounds in 8 months, getting down to the size I was when my husband and I started dating (about 13 years ago…) So when he started to complain about our food budget, I pointed out to him the OBVIOUS benefits
I don’t hear much about it now; it IS possible to do it on a budget! We are a family of five, and some weeks my grocery bill is $150 and some weeks it is $65. That includes household items as well. Stocking up on meat once or twice a month helps too, as does making freezer meals. Since I don’t buy processed junk or seasonings in the grocery store I can also justify my monthly Wildtree order (Wildtree is all natural organic, non gmo, no preservative, artficial colors or flavors pantry products from spice blends to skillet meals to dressings, GF bread, etc and so on) and using Wildtree I can still make the meals my family likes but know I am not poisoning them with it! Recently started eating the plain yogurt sweetened w/ honey and I sprinkle cinnamin on it-yum! Think I will venture into smoothies this week!
Thanks for this. My husband has been the single biggest obstacle in this. He grew up eating Campbell’s soup casseroles and canned sloppy joes. I grew up eating real food and fresh caught fish for the most part. He comes home with Kroger brand vanilla wafers for our children, gives them gummy bears, Hershey’s strawberry syrup. It’s horrifying. Luckily, I am at least 80% responsible for their meals. He thinks this whole thing is just my latest “project” and it will fade into sunset at some point. According to him, as long as it’s in the grocery store, it’s just fine.
I am all for eating Real Food but my husband is NOT onboard even 50% I feel like. When I first talked to him about he said “NO” and when I asked him why a few days later after he cooled down he said all he could hear was “no McDonalds or Wendys for 100 days” and he was not willing to do that. After talking a little more he was like why one earth do we need to keep changing things, I see no reason to change the way we are eating, you are just creating more work for yourself and you don’t need to, etc. He also grew up with a very limited diet and though he has expanded what he eats much since we met 6 years ago he still isn’t very willing to try things more than once and seems to always not like anything new. I keep talking to him but it is very discouraging when I have to keep buying separate foods for him that are highly processed when I am not buying them for us and our 2 year old just doesn’t understand why she can’t have what daddy has. He diet when we met consisted only of the following items… McDonald’s, Wendy’s, ribey steak, fries, popcorn shrimp and chocolate poptarts. Now he will eat other stuff but not nearly a wide enough variety to eat real foods all the time I feel. The only other breakfast food he will eat besides poptarts are biscuits and he always complains about there not being any food in the house (his processed go to’s) so he goes out (which cuts into our food budget) affecting what I can buy for the family.
Any suggestions other than getting him to read books (which he will NOT do)???
I’m fortunate enough to be with somebody who is willing to read and learn about eating healthy even if he doesn’t actually do it. I’ve been trying to eat more real food and slowly change our way of eating. He has been difficult, not impossible, but difficult to work with. I let him read Jason’s blog post and though we haven’t discussed it, I know that he was thinking about it later. I plan to bring it up today. I know that this is going to be a long and increasingly successful process.
I travel a lot as well. Eating real food on the road has proven to be a challenge. Your tips will probe most useful.
Thanks for sharing your story and your thoughts Jason.
Who are these crazy people who think meat isn’t real food?
I’m 100% on board about as close to natural, unprocessed, non-chemical, non-GMO. But who decided meat wasn’t good for you?
Hi there Stevie P. I’m a bit confused. Who are you addressing this question to? Was it for Jason? ~Amy
Thank you so much for your comments to the above questions