Can we please all agree to make this post a non-judgmental space today? Just like most other parents I am simply trying to do the best I can, and just like most parents—I do not claim to have all the answers. And as a result of some recent non-judgmental and constructive feedback from blog readers, I've been doing some thinking...and my thoughts are this: I never want my daughters to have to worry about food (or anything for that matter).
People sometimes imply that allowing your children to have free rein on junk food means "letting your kid be a kid," but in reality I think they are confusing "eating junk food" with the happy-go-lucky, carefree feeling we often see in children. And in my opinion there are many ways to achieve that bliss, which I can assure you, is not only from junk food.
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But I am the first to admit it's not easy to constantly find that fine line between standing up for what you believe in (nourishing my children with the healthiest foods on the planet!) and also not being too uptight. Whether we like it or not, there is a social aspect to junk food. I tell my husband all the time "we've been there done that" ...therefore I don't care if I never again chow down on a Little Debbie Snack, a box of Nerds, or a Push Up (really, I don't). But my children have not had the same experiences as me and no matter how much they "understand" why those foods are unhealthy who can blame them for wanting to see what they are all about? They are literally surrounded by this stuff on a regular basis - just look at school lunch rooms, TV commercials, and even check-out lines at the store.
The Feedback I Couldn't Ignore
Aside from our 100-day pledge (which ended in 2010) we have never been fully restrictive on what our girls can and can't eat. We certainly eat almost all "real food" at home, but now that our pledge is over our children indulge in processed "treats" at birthday parties, school celebrations, friend's houses, etc. I certainly wish they weren't offered junk food at so many events, but this is reality and I try not to stress about it (although I have become more involved at their school in hopes of continuing to see positive changes there). We also usually offer our girls a "once a week treat," which is pretty much the only time we eat any big sweets (other than a super dark chocolate square), but more often than not they have junk food elsewhere so others were almost always beating me to the punch when it came treat time. This means our treats together as a family didn't happen very often—or if they did my daughters would have to decide to forgo a treat that was being offered to them by someone else. Watching them make these decisions is what started bothering me deep down.
Then it just so happens that last weekend we had the chance to buy our kids their weekly treat, and by request we headed out for donuts (which I shared with this picture on Facebook). It was on that post where an interesting discussion started.
Although I can't always sit down and read every single comment personally anymore—I do read a lot of them and value what our readers have to say. And I certainly did not overlook the comment from Erin that said, "Actually, excessive discussion of 'good' food and 'bad' food can play a large role on eating disorders." Nor did I overlook the New York Times article that Marie shared that is entitled, "What’s Eating Our Kids? Fears About ‘Bad’ Foods." Then (as if I didn't already have my knickers in a twist enough) a kind reader emailed me personally and said:
"When I see your daughter questioning her food, I am encouraged by her awareness, but also concerned. I did the same thing, and my mom—who was also hyper-aware of food (and for good reason!)—encouraged this in me. I eventually become afraid of the food and restricted anything that wasn't 'healthy' —until nothing was (at the same time I over-exercised, because exercise was healthy too). It all made sense—until it didn't. I just encourage you, from the bottom of my heart, to be careful and aware and honest—but also leave some space for 'food to be food'—that's become my mantra." - 100 Days of Real Food Reader
Our Outlook Going Forward
I can truthfully tell you I have never even dabbled in eating disorders, although I (unfortunately) know many friends who have. Therefore I am no stranger to the subject and it's of course not something I would ever want my daughters to struggle with. So literally right then and there I had a discussion with my husband and we agreed to make a slight change. As soon as my daughters came home from school I told my 2nd grader, "We've decided that you can eat the foods you are offered (within reason) when you are not at home, and they will not count as your 'once a week treat.' The weekly treats we will buy or make together as a family will happen no matter what. Mommy feeds you so much good, real food at home and that's where you eat most of the time. You are such a healthy girl who is an excellent eater and also gets plenty of exercise so eating junk food at school or with friends once or twice a week could never erase that. Now eating cupcakes everyday (or twice a day) would not be a good thing, but a couple times a week is nothing for anyone to worry about." And you know what, in the grand scheme of things—even though my daughters have their moments of course—they both really are super good eaters. They eat a wide variety of whole foods including lots of vegetables and are also fairly willing to try new things. So I wasn't just talking the talk with her—even with highly processed junk food often feeling like my personal nemesis, I truly believe that eating it on occasion will not erase all that goodness.
And interestingly enough, even though my daughters have honestly never verbalized a complaint about our frequency of treats before, my 8-year-old seemed to really understand what I was telling her and even acted a little happy about this change. My kindergartner is still oblivious to quite a lot and frankly doesn't even know what day it is half the time, so I spared her this "talk" because I didn't think she'd even notice the difference at her age. But I do think what will go even further than this change is for me to (continue to) not act like the occasional junk food they eat is the end of the world (i.e. no guilt trip) while still educating them in a casual, non-threatening manner. I have also always been super careful about never criticizing my body in front of them, and I think that is another very important part of raising daughters with a healthy image as well. Now this parenting gig is something I am figuring out as I go (just like everyone else!) so we may continue to make adjustments as we move forward...but I can say that I do feel good about our renewed direction.
So today my 8-year-old came home from school and announced, "I had 3 oreos at lunch since it was a friend's birthday." Then she told me, "I read the ingredients, too." And I said with a surprise, "Oh really, what did it say?" then with a laugh she said "I don't remember." Sounds like we are on the right track with having a carefree, worry-free kid who is slightly more aware than the others. :)
Penny says
This blog is exactly why I love this site. You are on this journey right along with us who are trying our best to raise healthy and happy children. In a generation of excess consumption and endless choices, it's never been more challenging to raise kids (who would have thought!). Being a working mom, I spend time planning meals and cooking most nights, but I do have to rely on the food industry's wonderful premade food like spaghetti sauces and tortillas. And I can't spend too much time worrying about what my kids are eating at school or what they grab off the table at the gathering space at church. I love the ideas I can get from other readers and comments, too. Keep up the great work you are doing! Also...your recipes have really helped me with the meals - most of them are so quick and easy and good!
Erika says
Lisa, thanks for your ongoing posts and encouragement. I don't think I would have the patience to be as kind as you are when dealing with people's judgements and well-intentioned criticisms about my own family. In a world where many parents are critical of MY choices to cook at home, grow a garden, eat real food and prioritize health, I find this blog to be a safe haven.
I too have seen little girls deny themselves certain foods or criticize their bodies based on examples at home and I am diligent about sending the wrong message with my own daughter. I thought I would share how I talk about food in case it is helpful to anyone out there. When we sit down for a meal or my daughter requests something, we talk about which foods make us strong. So, we'll say something like "candy doesn't make us strong, that's why we only have a little bit." We might even go into detail about certain foods; carrots help our eyes, milk makes our bones strong, etc. Nothing is off limits, even the occasional fast food stop, but we feel good that the message is getting through about making good choices. And of course, most importantly, we try to provide the best example at home.
We are all doing our best and I think it's great that you're putting yourself out there to help the rest of us as well.
Maggie says
You are an amazing mom! We are all learning as mother's and I really appreciate your honesty. I think you made a great decision. Let us know how you feel like it turns out!
Ava says
I want you to know that what your doing is amazing. Worrying about each possible thing that could go wrong is impractical and silly. You are making wonderful choices for your children, your community and planet. As long as you are giving your child a holistic view of food and the world around them they will be fine. No they will soar. I deeply wish my parents had taken even a little time to teach me and my siblings about food. I have struggled for years trying to view food differently and not just eat junk. Thank you for helping me.
Leslie says
Thank you! This brought tears to my eyes. I have a 4 yr old daughter and a 7 year old daughter, my husband and I are extremely good eaters and I used to compete. The girls watch us workout everyday, I never say a bad thing about my body, but I am very strict with their food. I will allow a bit of ice cream once in a while out to dinner but I usually pack an organic vitamin c sucker for them. I did suffer with eating disorders that's why I try to teach them the right way, because I never knew healthy eating growing up. It's time for me to change before they end up like me, so thank you so much for enlightening me. I am just trying to do the best I can and give them proper nutrition but I don't want them to be consumed on a daily basis if they are eating good or bad food.
Reesa says
Thank you for this post! I don't have kids and I'm not even married but i have been struggling lately with an unhealthy relationship to food. I want to be healthy and balanced but have been bordering on OCD type behavior to try to control whats going on in my body. I've just been questioning lately what is the best way to go about being healthy with Balance being the goal - because when I'm too restrictive it seems to give the food too much power and was sending me into binges - and I don't think thats right or healthy. I've also definitely had the thoughts too of "how will I handle having kids and family?" because I'm a lot better (about food) when its just me...but I don't want it to always be just me or for food to be as important as I sometimes make it. I think you came up with a great solution that will end up blessing your daughters to have freedom AND a healthy appetite. Awesome!
kimberley says
I love this post so much. It is really timely for us. We have a 3 1/2 year old and have just shifted our ways into being more relaxed about junk. Until our daughter was 2 1/2 or 3 we gave her little or no sugary junk at home and nearly fully restricted what she had outside of the house (barring special occasions) She was never the only one in the room who was denied a treat and most often people were very supportive. But....I started to notice that she was associating a visit to the neighbours with junk food...like a few days after a visit to a neighbours, she would ask them if she could come and watch tv and have cookies and hot chocolate. She started doing this often. I felt she was reacting to our denying her junk so we loosened up at home. I would bake the occasional treat, bought good organic raisins, some healthy low sugar animal cookies....and now I feel she is crazy for it! (The same thing has happened with tv!!! WE watched none, loosened up and sometimes I think she would stay home and watch all day. (
So my very long winded question here is about BALANCE. I feel like I have tried to loosen up and create balance but now I feel like I am restricting even more frequently. Its like the floodgates have been opened. She wants treats so bad she even sneaked something and hid under the table to eat it!!!! Sometime when she is tired and cranky she cries for ice cream!!! What am I doing wrong? Do all children have this problem with regulation? I dont feel its right to give in and let her eat herself silly?? I am the best intentioned mama and only want the best for my baby/big girl. I would love your feedback.
Assistant to 100 Days (Amy) says
Hi Kimberly. I know it can be challenging but by setting reasonable limits, you will establish healthy habits even if it takes a bit of trial and error. You will find your balance and know when it feels right. You can try replacing ice cream with a healthier snack option like yogurt and not feel badly about its frequency. Lisa has a yummy recipe for a berry sauce to mix in with a plain yogurt that is a big hit with kids: https://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2011/05/03/recipe-berry-sauce/. Also here is a more complete snack list that you might find helpful when looking for healthy replacements: https://www.100daysofrealfood.com/2012/07/31/85-snacks-for-kids-and-adults/. I have found that having cut up fruits available most of the time can really curtail a child's sweet cravings. But, it does take a bit of time to establish habits. Best of luck. ~Amy
Angie Flynn says
Thank you for this post. It is not easy to put your choices for yourself and your family under a microscope for the inevitable public scrutiny. It's kind of like the single person with no children passing judgment on how parents raise their kids - it's so easy to be the perfect parent until you actually ARE a parent. :D
We made the switch to "real" food back in 2010. My son, who was 7 at the time, was sick all the time with chronic respiratory infections, allergies and asthma. He had a very limited palate, which generally centered around chicken nuggets, pizza, hot dogs, goldfish crackers and broccoli. I indulged his pickiness because it was easy - that was my failing as a mom.
I started working with a coach on several area of my own life, one of which was my unhealthy lifestyle - horrible food habits, binge/purge cycles, too much alcohol, no real exercise at all. Within a month I was eating clean, on nutritional supplements, exercising and taking martial arts classes and weaning off my 5 bottle of wine per week habit. I felt reborn. I decided that my son deserved that as well. It was a struggle in the beginning, but he quickly understood that either he ate what was in front of him or he could wait until the next meal (he never did skip a meal by the way).
Now, 3 years later, my 10 year old has the most expansive palate of any child I have ever met - he loves his healthy habits and is proud of them. We allow ourselves a "free day" each week so we can eat whatever we want. He categorizes food into free day food and regular food. He loves his free day, but doesn't obsess over it. He hasn't had to go to the doctor in over 3 years for anything other than a sports physical. Eating healthy, real food has been a miracle in our lives. EVERYTHING is better.
Thank you for your candor. It is wonderful to read your journey.
Laura says
I applaud you for your ability to take some constructive criticism and investigate the critique. I never comment on blog posts, but am so impressed by your quest for whole foods and by your reasoned response to this. Way to go!
Cady says
Some may feel that comment was unnecessary, but I have to chime in and say I'm glad you got it and read it. My mother was obsessive when my brothers and I were little because one of us is allergic to corn (think how often a corn product is in a processed food or even lurking in a seemingly whole food) AND because she had been struggling with weight her whole life. As a result, I am 32 and still lack will-power around junk food... we just were never exposed as kids so didn't practice moderation, and as a teenage babysitter in others' homes I learned to binge on junk that literally wouldn't be accessible to me later. I am slooooooowly learning how it makes me feel, what the ingredients are capable of doing to my health, etc. but it has been a long and winding road. Now, as a mother to a toddler and with another on the way, I'm very cautious to teach my kiddos about healthy eating without such harsh restrictions (as we have no allergies or sensitivities in this house) so they don't wind up tempted to abuse junk food the way I have. We let the preschool treats slide because I pack his actual food each day (organic, local, whole, homemade), and we let him have Halloween candy and ballpark hotdogs (shudder!!!) and just don't make a big deal out of the 5-10% he ingests that isn't clean. Hopefully he (and his future sibling too) will grow up with a good sense of balance and no food issues. Fingers crossed!
SusanA says
I have not read all 400 comments and thus apologize if this has already been said, but as an older mom of teenage children, I can share with you if you provide good, healthy, tasty, and quality food for your children, when they are offered and eat "junk" they won't like it and probably won't feel good after eating it. They'll start to learn to self regulate what they want to eat. For example, we always had chocolate around when the kids were little - not the fake "Hershey bar" sort of chocolate, but real chocolate, often from Europe or South America. Anyway, when my daughter was about 4 years old, she came home from pre-school with some of those "chocolate" coins. The surprise in her eyes and indignation from her crinkled up mouth signaled pure betrayal. This was not what she expected and she ran to the garbage can and spit it out. "Mom, that's not chocolate". "Yes honey, I'm sorry that that wasn't very good. It probably looked much better than it tasted." "I'm never eating that again!" After many halloween's and school parties, and treats handed out at sports games, we have a little container for this stuff. It sits around for a week or two just to give anyone the opportunity to eat it (which no one does) and then gets dumped into the garbage. It doesn't even temp them anymore. They know what real food (and real treats) taste like. Teach your children to enjoy real food and they'll taste the junk food off and on, but if you don't make a big deal out of it, and if you ask then how they feel a few minutes or an hour after they eat it (usually they'll feel "icky"), you're on your way to helping them to self regulate. Reading labels is great too, but once weaned from processed foods to real food, it will be hard for them to go back. I think my kids would rather starve rather than eat a school lunch. My 17 year old still brings her own snacks to sleepovers when she knows the family only serves junk food - not at my request, but all on her own. She just knows she doesn't want to feel bad the next day.
Kathy says
Bravo. Could not applaud this post or you more. Love.
Cindy says
I applaud your response to the feedback that was given--both in your blog and in your personal life. Finding a balance is sometimes so difficult, and we all just try to do the best we can. I have three children, ages 2, 6, and 8 and have been very focused on eating healthfully as a family (eating organic, cutting out processed foods, etc.) since my children were born. That said, I also am very aware of what an over-focus on food choices can do, as a psychotherapist who specializes in working with children and adults with eating disorder and body image issues, and having a past history with eating concerns myself. On a side note, my husband and I allow my children to have a few small pieces of candy (or a cookie) after lunch and dinner in an effort to provide balance, and to prevent these from becoming "forbidden foods" which are then more likely to be snuck and eaten in excess when they get older. This works well for us and it appears so far that our kids do not seem over focused on candy and enjoy the many healthy foods we provide. Thank you again for your thoughtful response to this issue!
Kate says
THANK YOU. I have been battling with balance and perspective, and trying to carefully (not scarily) teach my 5 year old about healthy eating. It is something I am passionate about, and tend to go OCD with. Your well written blog helped me take a deep breath and relax a little, which I really needed to do. Can't thank you enough!
Rachel (De Ma Cuisine) says
I think this sounds very wise, Lisa. Thanks for being open and honest in your sharing.
Athena says
Well said and well done! You make me feel better about my decisions with my two beautiful daughters (although I could be better [and I'm working on it!], my oldest one, at 7 years old, is more aware and self-controlled than she would be if we didn't teach her.)
Amy says
What a great response to the post from last week!!! I think your actions to all the neagative post was awesome.
Brooke says
I think you are doing great! There are so many things out there saying "this is the right way to eat." Each person has different needs. One doesn't want to be consumed by food, make it an idol (most important in life) or for it to become their "religion." I encourage moms, women and people wanting to learn more about eating good, to take the wisdom that is available and apply it to one's own life. We all care about our kids and we all want what is best for them. We are all in different seasons of our lifes. Some are just realizing whole foods are the way to go. Which ever it may be for someone, let's just keep encouraging one another. I enjoy reading your blog. You are a good mama.
Julie says
Fortunately, a majority of people's children do not have severe reactions to wheat,sugar or other processed food. But for those of us who do have children who react either physically or behaviorally to food that their body rejects, we have to be obsessed with what they eat. When you are following Feingold for ADHD or GAPS for autism or your child has severe food allergies or severe allergies in general or problems with their immune system, it's a whole other story. You can't have casual cheats because the consequences are just not worth the cupcake or piece of candy. Our children can't be close to "normal" in their functioning unless we give them an "abnormal" diet by today's standards. I am totally understanding of where you are coming from! Just putting it out there that those of us who are strict and obsessed (looking) may have a very good reason. Don't judge us either! Thanks for the post!
Leanna S says
Well said Julie! Thank you!!!
S Kako says
Ditto Julie. We have reactions in our home and we suffer for the occasional 'junk food', which does happen very occasionally. But on the flip side, I can appreciate these allergies and sensitivities today. I am better informed and seek education on what's harmful and helpful for the body. So many of our friends and family think we're quacks, but has sparked an interest for some, too, to learn for themselves why that ooey gooey bright colored cake may be harmful.
I have a 15 yr old who is sure dairy isn't a problem for him. I have my own opinion about this but have decided recently to give him the freedom to choose if he wants to eat dairy. Hoping he will make wise choices through his own trial and error. And hey,,,maybe I'm mistaken. He does choose on his own to avoid gluten, so that's progress. :)
Kathryn @ Mamacado says
Thanks for this perspective. My 3 year old son has multiple food allergies, and I only WISH he could freely accept food from others (at school, birthday parties, etc.) Please don't judge parents who HAVE to be obsessed with the food their child eats!
shirley kane says
Love this post; the truth is people get so obsessed with hard rules that we breed more eating disorders.
Because I followed the 100 day plan, albeit three years late, I find I am no longer obsessed with food and see it as just food. Will I participate in a few treats? Sure, but real foods appeals to me more now. I have a doctor who has so many rules for food that she can't have smoothies because she thinks it is too much sugar when it is a smoothie. As stated above, she has fallen prey to the no food is safe philosophy. I think this is a great way to raise kids. Yeah for this blog!
Jill says
My oldest didn't have sugar until he was 3. For the past 30 years, he hasn't cared for sweets or chocolate at all.
Rob Egeland says
Well said. It is almost impossible to eat healthy 24/7. Schools serve crap, kids are offered cake at parties, and sometimes it is just easy to grab a good old Chicago Hot Dog. We are raising our son to be aware and to most often make good choices as a general rule. Being a Food Nazi Parent will only send the wrong message but ultimately backfire when the kids are not under the watchful eyes of their parents.
Jess says
Children usually learn their issues from their parents and we all have issues. I applaud what you are doing with your girls, and hope that we can raise ours to be aware of chemically processed food. I feel it was unfair for a stranger to try to make you feel bad about something her own mother did. I suppose blogging opens you up to that. I am encouraged about your attitude towards the social aspect of food. When we are making choices for us and our family, we make them as best we can, but we never make other people feel like the food they are eating, or the food they've prepared for us is not good enough. I just wrote a post about this. Finding the balance between practical and natural. http://allmostnatural.com/practical-and-natural/
Keep up the good work!
Shawna says
SO glad you took the time to post this! I am a fairly new Mom of a 1 year old daughter (this month) and a 3 year old son (July). Since I've started reading your blogs and using your recipes among others like Food Babe and such, I have found myself developing sort of an obsession over eating healthy, non-processed, real foods. Now doing this with a 1 year old and an almost 3 year old is not that hard because they are so young and unexposed to what is out there. But, I have found myself getting anxiety over what WILL be out there when they are old enough and when they go to school and friends' houses etc. I have told myself that I cannot control what is presented to them out of my presence and that I can only educate them on what is healthy for their bodies and what is not and allow them to make decisions for themselves. But, I still find myself ridden with anxiety and worry, that if I am not able to control 95% of their food intake, then any sickness or disease to befall them lands on my shoulders because I could've done more. My husband gets upset with me and doesn't understand my reasonings. He says I'm taking it too far and his lack of support (with my obsession) doesn't feel good either. I feel like not being able to nourish them with the best of the best 100% of the time is a huge lack in my mothering skills.....although my reasoning does tell me this is impossible. So, reading something like this is helpful if for no other reason than to allow myself to "chill out" a little and come to terms with the fact that I can't control ALL of the environments with which my children grow up in, 100% of the time. And I certainly wouldn't want any negative affects to adversely come upon them as a result of my healthy (or unhealthy) obsessions. So thanks for all you do and thanks for your honesty. <3
Susan says
Shawna- I can SO relate to your post. After switching to real food 6 years ago, I too became a fanatic. I would go to friend's homes for parties/bbqs and hide behind thier shrubs while everyone ate, or pretend to be monitoring the kids because I didn't want to eat the packaged crap everyone had brought for the party. I was simply obsessed with making sure only pure things passed mine and my family's lips. Until I read about orthorexia and I realized I was quickly headed down that road. (If you've never heard of it, do a search on it.)
Once I wrapped my head around the concept that it is WAY more stressful on the body to live under constant worry than it is for my kid to have a store made cupcake three times a year, I began to relax. I now employ the 80/20 rule knowing that most days, all day, my family is only eating what I've prepared from scratch for them, and if they have the occasional Twinkie or candy bar that the world won't end. I know I'm a lot more fun to be around now that I'm not so paranoid. You're doing a good job, Mama. Just go with the flow. It will all be well!
Shawna says
Susan - thanks so much! I looked up orthorexia. Definitely not a good thing! My thing that my husband hates so much is that I start thinking that if I don't control everything that goes into my children's mouths, then they could (or they will) get cancer or some other degenerative disease and I could've controlled that by having them eat perfectly all the time. Even though, as I said before, my logical self tells me this is ridiculous and impossible. So the obsession begins to try and accomplish this all the while realizing the 100% is not possible. But the obsession in trying takes the fun out of food...and life! And then I feel like I really can't win. The more I read and educate myself, the more I want to feed the obsession because everything in our food system is so scary! Especially for little developing minds and bodies. :( But I like the 80/20 rule! And most days my family, like yours is eating everything that I have prepared from scratch or I know extensively the details of what's inside and where it's come from down to the feed that the cows were eating. Thanks for your thoughts! It always helps to know you aren't the only one out there! I really appreciate it!
Jacqueline says
I don't have kids (yet), but I just have to say...I. Loved. This. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. It's impossible for kids to be sheltered from processed foods. Impossible. While we don't have to throw our hands up and just let them eat it whenever to "let them be kids," we have to be careful about labeling foods as "bad" and creating an obsession over food (not saying you are doing that :)). Learning all this real food information and trying to stay on track is/was stressful enough for me as an adult, so I can only imagine how children must feel -- especially when they see other kids eating all the things they *can't* have. Obviously when allergies and other health issues come into play, we may have to be more strict with food, but otherwise we have to find a balance that allows us to eat healthy foods without going completely crazy over this stuff (at least until the food industry changes...). And though we all might have a different "balance," there is no need for judgement when we are all just trying to do our best. This is getting long, so I just wanted to say, thank you for having the courage to share and for being open-minded and...human!
Kylie@ kalestorms.com says
GREAT article Lisa. Such a good, powerful message. I have fallen in love with your website and you and your family just seem so real and relatable. Thanks you for all the work you do! :)
Kathryn says
I just wanted to say that I give you a lot of credit for doing a great job of walking this fine line! I think you are doing an incredible job for your family and am in frequent amazement that your kids eat so well. I think you do a great job balancing the wonderful healthy food education with letting them still be kids and hopefully doing that in such a way that they won't have "complexes" about food but rather feel educated and empowered and *want* to make good choices. I know that it seems like the healthier I eat, the more I enjoy healthy food versus other food and hopefully that type of preference will follow your kids through their lives.
Tracy says
Lisa, thank you for this post. I love your honesty. I don't have any children and I find all the "rules" overwhelming. I think it all boils down to teaching them to make good choices. Not just with food, but in everyday life, so that they will grow up to be productive members of society. Your talk with your daughter was perfect. She seems to be making good choices already. My hat is off to you as a woman and mother.
Wendy says
Lisa, raising kids to be healthy is a hard line to follow. I have two teenage boys who have had their share of junk food but are more than happy to give all of it up because they now understand how important it is to be healthy. I also have a 5 yr old boy who seriously wants every bad thing he sees or sees others have and I find myself constantly saying no to all the junk he would consume if I let him. I do try to find acceptable alternatives so he doesn't feel too deprived and on occasion will allow him to have something at friends while explaining to him how to make good choices. However, lately, due to the increased business of life with teenage activities I have had to come to terms with my own limits for preparing the variety and quantities of food needed to take to said activities while still maintaining some order at home. I have had to buy a few more prepared items than I like but realize this is only for a time. The other realization I came to, is that my children are heading off into the world, the world of cafeteria food that I will not be preparing, in high school and beyond. Food decisions are increasingly in their hands, I just keep talking to them about what is healthy and what is not while not fretting over the less than ideal food choices out there.
Heather says
I went to a "real food" diet last year. Not because I really wanted to but because I suffer from migraines and one of my many doctors recommended it.
I used your blog as a guide, but then you got judgy and I stopped. I do not think there is anything wrong with an occasional indulgence or slip up.
I eat whole grain real food at home. If i go out and grab a burger with friends I don't feel bad about the white bread.
Food at the end of the day is fuel. If I restricted myself I would go crazy. I live alone, go to school full time working on my phd, teach a full course load at the community college, substitute at other schools and tutor. Packing ahead takes a lot of work most of which i do on Sunday but sometimes I don't have enough. Those days I pick the healthiest option available to me and I eat it because its better then starving myself. My body has reacted well and my migraines are less which is good.
nicky says
Super post!! Thanks for being open and honest....and a great example!!
Beth Wade says
Very Well Said!
Katie says
Thank you! I grew up with a mother with an eating disorder and therefore went on my first diet at age 6 and full blown disorder by the end of 7th grade. I would be rewarded for school accomplishments with candy, but criticized regularly about my weight, despite limiting lunches to less than 200 calories and counting the 2.5 calories in my half stick of sugar free gum every morning. I struggle with weight to this day and make it a point NEVER to discuss food or weight in an unhealthy manner to my boys.
Bethany says
Hi Lisa! I've been a social media stalker of yours for a while, especially when I learned you live in Charlotte-I live in Hickory. Thank you so much for this post-it will really help me in my quest to eat healthier yet realistically. While my husband and I don't have kids of our own yet, I am trying to help my family (including my 64 year old parents) to be more aware of the foods we put into our bodies. When the time comes for me to have my own children, I feel I am better prepared through reading your story and educating myself. Thanks to your Facebook posts, your introduction to Food Babe and just perusing your site I feel I am getting the hang of eating healthfully and mostly unprocessed foods 90% of the time. As a former school food nutrition director, I am ashamed of the "food" we (adults) have passed off as nutritious to kids. I will never be able to go back to feeding sweet, innocent children so much of those processed meals ever again. Now that I am more aware of food and it's impact on my body as well as being aware of what my body needs to be stronger (and what it doesn't need), I feel healthier than I've ever been in my life (and I've been able to lose 35 pounds). Thank you for your commitment to educating and sharing with us what you learn, your struggles and your accomplishments. You have helped me revolutionize my life and I hope to do the same for others as I hope to pursue a career in nutrition.
Keep up the awesome work!
Deborah Thompson says
I do enjoy reading your blog, and I've shared some of the posts with my 8 year old daughter. She, like me, is beginning to read labels to see what she is choosing to put in her body. Now she'll notice if there are dyes in there, and we'll look for an alternative.
One thing I'm trying to get away from is her thinking that something in the category of 'junk food' as a treat. She does enjoy a sweets, and I'm not overly cautious, but we make good choices whenever possible. If she does splurge on a sugary something, we balance it out with a glass of Greens or some carrot sticks. This works for her.
I also sell body wraps and so she sees me wrapping, and hears about my clients. But, we have shared with her that it's about getting healthy and having our bodies run and be the way they were created to be. I truly believe if we pour positive things into our children, and they see our healthy examples, they will follow naturally. My mom yo-yo dieted all of her life, and I never wanted to be that way. Now I'm finding that as I give my body what it was made to crave, it is responding by easily maintaining a healthy size and having plenty of natural energy. Even my 8 yr old recognizes that she feels better when she puts good things in her body.
Thanks for all you do to share with us~
Maria says
Thank you for this. I was having this struggle in my head this past weekend since my son will be starting school soon. He can see that I make a lot of things from scratch and knows that certain things are not a everyday or weekly thing but once and a while treat. I do worry with so many parents that just don't seem to care and all the sugar that is handed out. I also try to keep my son away from Red40. For some reason that one dye just makes him crazy.
My mom has always been hyper aware of her body and size which gave me issues to the extent of an eating disorder. I never ever ever want for either of my kids. It sucks and its so hard to re-program.
This post was just what I needed. Thank you
Mrs. Britt says
This came a such a great time! I have been trying to guide my family into the eating "real food" but it is very trying. So I thought it would help by explaining to them why certain foods are bad and what they can cause etc. But now just have my 10 year old telling me "Mom you think everything is bad, what are we to eat?" So I know that redirecting the motivation to eating better/clean is key to its success. I love your blog and have passed it on too so many! Thank you!
Jamie says
Good post. I think it is very true, people can easily blur the lines of what is good for you and do things in excess instead of moderation. You're a good mom!
ms.p says
I was starting to get more healthy real food at the beginning of the year. However life got in the way(my world was turn upside own). Now the last three weeks my daughter schedule was crazy and I mentally kept track of what she ate and nothing was healhty or real. Now I know I need to get back on track,Time to clean out the cupboards and start looking for healthy recipes. Thank you for the post.
Helena says
Ahhh... Balance! What most of us can only dream for, but you seem to be one step closer now. Good for you.